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A/N: Unfortunately over the span of the last year I've simply not progressed as much as I hoped. I'm nearing a Γ edition for Part I, but there is still no complete draft for Part II in sight. So for now I only ask you to please enjoy (for better or worse) the current version of Part II's first chapter!
Feb 2025 ver.10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3yxe9pxAO
The twelve year-old was rather unassuming in presence and garb. An average human boy from a working family. Brown-haired. Blue-eyed. One that lifted his plate to collect the last scraps of his lunch. Today was a big day and he was going to need a full stomach to face it. Hence he was bright with excitement. A bag was snatched up from the table.
He rushed his farewell and out the door, “Bye, Dad!” His family lived in an abandoned military outpost in the middle of nowhere and he’d just been told he was actually going to be allowed to leave it today. He never got to go. Well, not never, but not very often. Usually only with both of his parents too. It left the world a fascinating mystery only revealed in snippets of books and letters.
But this trip was going to just be him and his mom. They probably should have left earlier, but she wasn’t exactly an early morning person. To put it lightly.
“Rowan!” He stopped at the call of his name. A little brunette girl that wasn’t quite so human was jogging toward him. Pointed feline ears not too far above where human and elf ones would be graced her head. His cousin, or more accurately, half cousin. When she stopped, she twisted up the bottom hem of her yellow dress and demanded, “When will you be back?” It was a little amusing.
Enough to make him stick his hands in his pockets, tip his head, and grin, “What? Miss me already?”
“Yes!” He blinked at this and snapped to attention. He’d been trying to tease her, not actually ask a serious question for a serious answer.
“W-Well,” Rowan found himself under a startling harsh glare for someone half his age. “I dunno? No one told me where we’re going. I assume my mom knows.” His wrist was grabbed and he was pulled into a bent position. Before he knew it, she was dragging him to the stables with her short tail lashing.
She didn’t let go upon reaching their destination either. Rowan scratched at his cheek with his free digits. He was starting to get what his mom meant whenever she said that Devin was going to be ‘one hell of a woman’ when she grows up.
His mother was in one of the stalls. They couldn’t see much of her other than her slim black boots scuffling around. They could hear plenty of her though, “No-. Wait! Jak, please! Damn it! C’mon, stay still. It’s just your saddle! Don’t think I won’t trade you for a drake!” Silence then more scuffling, “Oh, you slut.”
“Aunt Luci!?” Devin called to her.
“Yes, Devin?” The under her breath swearing at the horse continued in the background, “You son of a gods damn…”
“When will you be back!?”
“Eh?” The door opened and soon the ice blue eyes of one part feline were peering into the green of another. There was a small quirk to her lip from replying with the noise. His mother’s snow white hair was its usual wavy, shoulder-length mess. “Hard to say.” The woman always looked like she had just rolled out of bed. “I can’t be sure until I see what I’m working with, but at least a week.” She also always dressed in black. “And please, Devin… Lucille, not Luci. I’ll even take Auntie or Luce or ‘Hey, you!’ over Luci.” Then she was hollering elsewhere, “Okay, Elik, I give up!” The woman walked off to find who she was talking to and her pleas to him for help quickly grew inaudible as the distance increased.
“A week!?” The little girl whined. She stomped a foot then turned to him with another demand, “You’ll get me when you’re back, right? Promise?”
Rowan swayed to one side. The one further from her, “I mean, we’re gonna be tired when we’re back, so I really can’t promise that. I’ll see you when I see you.” He liked his cousin well enough, but the age gap was wearing on his nerves. She could flip moods at the drop of a hat, he always ended up pitying her and helping with her chores, and there were so many things that were too complicated for him to be able to explain to her. Not to mention she always seemed to want his attention.
On top of all of that, she had the nerve to huff at him while shoving at his arm, “Why are you so mean sometimes!?”
He placed a hand to his neck as he watched her storm away, “Love you too, Dev’!”
Rowan jumped as he found a figure next to him. At some point his mother returned. She could be really quiet. When she wasn’t coughing. The boy also hadn’t really thought about it much until right now for some reason, but, despite having not hit adolescence yet, he was already almost eye level with her. Exactly how tall was he going to be?
“I feel bad she can’t come with. She hasn’t been outside the outpost, you know.” A pang of pity struck. His mother shrugged, “She’s still too young for a trip like this.” He’d forgotten that Devin was trapped in the boat he’d just grown out of himself.
The stable head known as Elik had readied his father’s horse and brought him out. Lucille thanked the elf, letting him resume other tasks. They were traveling light, but she tied her bag to the steed anyway then collected his to do the same.
A quick flash of a smile at her child, “Ready?”
“Yup!” The boy was aglow again. Devin would be old enough to travel like him eventually. He put a foot to the stirrup and was able to haul himself into the saddle easily. His mother, on the other hand, was still standing there looking rather anxious. It lessened his excitement. “Is everything okay?”
She stopped her uncertain milling, “Y-yes.” The healer settled in behind him. Lucille took up the reins and promptly presented them to her child.
It surprised him to say the least, “You want me to guide?” Now he was more tense than anything. He’d never been the one in control with a passenger before. She was really that trusting of him? That confident in his ability?
His mother sighed, “Did your father not tell you?”
Rowan glanced at her, “No…?”
“I swear, that damn man…” She rubbed over her face then planted her hands to his sides, “Rowan, love, I don’t know how to control a horse. That’s why you’re coming with me. Otherwise I’d have to walk.”
The boy nearly shouted, but managed to stop himself before he spooked Jak. “Wh-what?” He stammered it quietly instead, turning to her again. “You can’t ride a horse by yourself?” He had no idea! How had she managed before she met dad!?
There was a pause prior to explanation, “Love, horses hate me. Jak’s the only one who lets me on him and I’m positive that’s because he’s your father’s. He’s had to spend time with me by proxy.” She rolled her eyes, “Or maybe it’s a thank you for giving him a name other than ‘Horse’.”
Blue irises blinked at each other. “Then its completely up to me? No help if I mess up…?”
Another blink then one of her warm shows of pride, “You’ll do fine.” He focused on the path to the gates. He felt her fingers comb through his hair once. “You’ve been riding for years now. You know what to do.” The boy didn’t need to see to know she had shrugged behind him, “And if somehow, on the slightest of odds, this goes badly for some reason that’s what I have barrier magic for. Just don’t forget this is going to be an all day ride so don’t overwork him.”
“Okay.” Rowan gulped the rest of his nerves, took a breath, then spurred the animal forward, “Let’s go, Jak.”
x x x
He dropped from the saddle to the ground after his mother had slithered off. She took a moment to crack her back. Then all of her other joints subsequently popped from another stretch.
The woman groaned, “By the gods, I’m only thirty-three, what the hell is sixty going to be like?” They’d been on the road all day and she was entrusting the animal’s care to a stable where they had stopped for the night. She lead them further into town, “C’mon, love, let’s find an inn.”
They turned a corner and then he realized he hadn’t grabbed his bag, “W-Wait. I didn’t get my stuff.”
“…Rowan.” Her disappointment wasn’t deep, but it was obvious since she had specifically told him to make sure he got it. He could be as forgetful as her though.
“I’m sorry! I’ll get it! I’ll be right back!” His mother leaned to her right with a cross of her arms, resigning herself to wait for him here. Rowan skidded back into the entrance, not seeking permission to enter before commencing the search for his father’s horse.
He didn’t see who was talking, but it made him slow his movements, “Wonder what family that boy has to be from to afford an emeran slave…” There wasn’t anyone else they could be talking about.
It had to be two stable hands, “A waste on a kid his age, isn’t it?” Rowan frowned. Even as he spotted the right saddle draped on a stall.
“I’unno, she seems like a bitch.” ‘Controversial’ policies were still hit or miss everywhere. He told himself to ignore it.
“Aren’t all of ‘em like that?” To let it go.
“It’d still be the first thing I’d beat out of her.”
He bit his lip so hard he drew blood, “Shit…”
Of course they heard him, “Hey! Who’s over there?”
For a second he froze, but his anger won the battle, “‘That boy’ forgot his bag. And she’s not some slave, she’s my mom!” They didn’t reply. He slung his bag on an arm to march out.
A shocked expression greeted him when he rejoined her, “Love? What happened?” Rowan couldn’t hide his disgust and he’d forgotten to heal himself. But what was he supposed to tell her? That they’d called her a slave? A bitch? Slavery hadn’t even been legal in Sororal for literal decades.
“I tripped on something and bit my lip.” He wiped at his mouth with the back of a hand, healing it himself as he did.
She didn’t accept it at face value, “That’s not like you.” But he didn’t meet her prying eyes so she didn’t push for a new answer. Instead they went hunting for an inn side by side.
“Two please.” Lucille replied to the bright greeting from the innkeeper. The other woman was about to get keys when he stumbled them both.
“Not two, just one.” Actually, he caught himself off-guard having blurted it out as if in reflex.
His mother stared from where she was leaned onto the counter, “The rooms only have one bed, love. If we only get one you’ll have to share with me.”
The boy rubbed at his neck, “That’s fine.” He was really hoping she didn’t ask him to explain. Rowan wasn’t even sure he could. It suddenly just felt important to be close to her.
Her eyebrow lifted, “It’s ‘fine’?” A sassy edge of skepticism was in her voice, “You haven’t been ‘fine’ with sleeping in the same bed as me for… what? Two years? Three?”
He huffed, still not looking at her, “Well, that’s at home, where I have this thing called ‘my own room’. We’re not at home now.”
“Mhmm…” She was still giving him this scrupulous stare. “Ooookay, I won’t say no to being cheap.” A finger raised, “One room.”
x x x
This was a bad idea. “Ow.” Rowan batted his mother’s hand from where it landed on his nose. He was thinking the bed would be the size of his parents’. Not the size of his. He was too old for this. She had managed to conk out immediately as well. And she was a damn active sleeper.
He still felt too angry to even relax. Eventually, his mother rolled her back to him. Rowan eyed it, pulled the covers over his shoulder, and buried his face between her shoulder blades. She smelled of sleep. Even when she was awake she smelled of it. That was how she always was. He sighed.
Why couldn’t he just look emeran too?
x x x
Eventually he had dozed off and awoken to the sound of his mother coughing. They set out as they had before. It was still going to be at least another full day of travel. His elation from the first had ebbed. Now it was just the endless patter of hooves.
Lucille was yawning. It was boring. Boring to the point she commenced fiddling with his hair. He scowled at the road. She was combing it different ways.
“Mom…” the youth complained, “Do you have to?” He usually kept it specifically combed out from one arch of his hairline. He’d settled on it ages ago by this point.
She snorted, “I just wanted to see how it’d look.” Rowan shook her off to additional protest. “Don’t be so stingy! Let your poor mother be entertained a minute!”
“I like it how it is!” He tangled the reins in one hand so he could commit the other to fixing her meddling.
The woman relented with a sigh, the tip of her tail twitching in the corner of his eye, “Fine, fine. Maybe… a story then?” He didn’t reply. But that was his way of agreeing to a suggestion these days. “Hmm.” She was thinking, “But what one? I’ve probably told you the one about how your father and I met a million times.” She had indeed. Some noble having put a bounty on her head to request her services much like the family they were going to see. His father undertook said bounty. Lucille idly scratched at her neck until it came to her. “But have I told you about the time I… tried to resurrect someone?”
Rowan went wide eyed right before he glanced back at her, “You what?”
His mother’s face was rather unreadable as she confirmed, “You heard me right.” Her attention meandered to what lay ahead. He took her cue that he should do the same. He was the one leading their mount.
“How have you never told me this one before?” Rowan was still trying to wrap his mind around it. “I-Isn’t that… against the ethics of magic?” More a set of rules that had come to be agreed upon since certain aspects became common knowledge. For example: resurrection spells are against the natural order. Not to mention dangerous.
There was little emotion in her voice, “Yes, and for good reason. Magic at that level is volatile. The results can be disastrous. But at the time, I just,” she exhaled heavily, “didn’t care. I wasn’t in a great state of mind. It took a long time to remember why.”
Of course he asked, “Why weren’t you?”
A pause, “That doesn’t matter.” She continued, “The important part is my life had no value to me anymore. Then, well,” Lucille chuckled, but not because she found it funny, “there was this young woman and it was complete happenstance I was there at the right time.”
“The people said they warned her not to travel any farther, but that she had smiled and told them everything would be fine. She washed up in the river while I was there. Her body had been torn apart by a dragon, but she was still breathing. So I did what I always do and tried to save her.”
“As it turned out, her family had been looking for her. Before I was able to do much of anything a man was demanding she be turned over to him. I argued she shouldn’t be moved. He claimed to be her brother and that made the decision his to make. I told him to fuck off. He attempted to strike me.” He could hear the humor in her words this time, “That didn’t really work for him. But I couldn’t stop him from taking her. But he couldn’t stop me from getting in the wagon with her.”
“I did what I could. I still think maybe if I’d been able to get to her sooner she would have been okay. But she died in that wagon. And when she did I got this feeling. I felt that she knew what she was doing. She knew she’d die when she left that village. What she was really saying when she left was that she was fine with dying.” Her hand had lifted from him to twist fingers into the front of her cloak, “And the look on her brother’s face. He wasn’t sad. He was displeased.”
“I don’t know why I did it.” Her grip on herself withered. “I think maybe I saw myself in her even though we never exchanged a word. Maybe it was pity that her body was in the possession of someone who didn’t even care that her, the person, was gone. That I cared more than her blood relative did. He only grieved the loss of value her functional body had to their family. And I tried to revive her. I guess so she could die in better circumstances. Find someone who actually cared before she went. Or maybe I’m just scrounging for logic where there isn’t any. Maybe my dumb ass just did it because I thought I could.”
Rowan inquired timidly when she didn’t keep going, “And?” He already knew that it didn’t work, but that was only part of the ending. What were the consequences?
He could feel her shift behind him, “White. Nothing but white. For a while. I came around being lead into a manor. It’s all vague snippets of people talking and being guided around like a wounded dog in a jumbled mess. I was too confused and I just… couldn’t remember.”
“Remember what? Trying to help her?”
His mother leaned to catch his eye, so he looked to her, then she answered, “Anything.” Rowan blinked and her posture reverted. “Everything was gone. Her brother was commending me for my efforts in her bedroom where her body was readied for her funeral on the bed. He handed me a piece of paper as some kind of reward. And all I could say was, ‘Who… is Lucille Beiremie?’ He was speechless at first, to say the least, but eventually took the time to explain what happened.” A snort, “Albeit in much less detail.”
“I stayed in that room for a long time, standing, staring at my name and that young woman’s body. Hoping something would come back. I was convinced there must have been some deep connection with her that would help me remember, but nothing happened.”
“Wait,” he was trying to snag glimpses at her. The story didn’t make sense, “It had to have come back eventually, right? Because you remember it now.”
She nodded, “Yes, but I was like that for years.”
Rowan exclaimed, “Years!?”
“Yes, love.” Why did she sound so lighthearted about it? “It wasn’t until Chanoix found your father and I that I was able to begin to remember. Only a few months before we were expecting you. Pieces here and there are still missing. But, mostly, I can’t remember what happened between leaving the isles and arriving in that village. Two full years of my life lost to the universe from attempting something so stupid. That people have been trying and failing at for centuries. Although, really, I got off lucky compared to the other failures I’ve heard about.” She was right. Most of them ended with more death. Almost always the caster’s, but the people around them were at risk too. The magic sometimes burst and other times they ended up with something that wasn’t alive or dead.
He only had one question left, “Why did you decide to tell me this now?”
“Because you’re old enough to handle a story like that, there’s no one to overhear my admission to breaking the highest laws, and well, I don’t want you to ever make that kind of mistake. You didn’t fall far from this tree, love.” She tapped at his nose when he risked another glance this time. “You’re talented, but don’t let it make you arrogant. Don’t ever let it make you think you’re an exception to the rules.”
x x x
They finally arrived and he was starving. They briefly parted ways again. His mother was ensuring their ride would be well cared for since they’d be staying an extended period and he was off to secure a table at an eatery they passed with instructions to splurge on ordering the best cuts of grilled meats they had. As well as some black tea. He was feeling pretty peppy again today at the prospect of something tasty. She wouldn’t be very far behind him, but it’d save them a couple minutes of waiting.
“I’ll show you to a seat, ma’am.” It caught his attention when he heard the hostess greeting a woman.
“That’s okay, my son already came in.” Rowan leaned to see his mother so she could find him. “I’ll just be joining him.”
“O-oh?” The hostess was flustered by the declaration, “I’m sorry, are you sure you have the right location, ma’am?”
“About ninety-eight percent. He would have come in less than five minutes ago.” Her voice became a little condescending, but was still cool. She peered into the dining area. He waved when their eyes met.
The hostess was still fumbling over herself in confusion, “You’re the first emeran patron to come in today, ma’am. Are you sure you’re not mistaken?”
Lucille finally snapped, “He’s only a quarter emeran,” she struck out an arm to gesture to her child, “and I’m looking right at him so I’m pretty sure I got the right gods damn place, lady.”
The other woman looked for herself and her face flushed. Then came the profuse apologizing, “I-I am so sorry!” Unfortunately, she only made it worse for herself by stating, “You don’t look very much alike so I didn’t make the connection.” His good mood was skewered. He didn’t look like a cat is what she meant. Meanwhile, his mother walked past her without another word.
She had plenty to mutter when she sat down, “Don’t look very much alike my ass.” Lucille proceeded to stare at him, intensely. The healer could sense his rising insecurities, “Your eyes are shaped exactly like mine.” Then she cupped his chin and gave his whole head a bit of a wiggle, “And you have Chanoix’s jaw.” Her hand released. “It’s a little more subdued on me, but still obvious.” She was trying so hard to make it okay and it barely made him feel better at all. Which made him feel worse for not feeling better.
x x x
His mother outright snarled, flashing a middle finger as her other hand slapped to the crook of that arm, “Suck my dick while you’re at it!” She whipped around, waving him to follow as she crashed her way out the door, “Let’s go, Rowan.” As upsetting as it was, it was always kind of embarrassing to be standing next to her when she threw that insult. And it was a favorite.
“Cocksuckers wrote us. I didn’t come here all willy-fucking-nilly.” She was on the march, he was actually having trouble keeping up with her. Usually he was the one passing her up with her tortoisian pace. “Shit-for-brains! Every single fucking person in this world, Rowan.”
He knew she was simply venting her frustrations at coming all the way here and then being turned away, but, “I don’t think I caught what just happened. Why won’t they let you in?”
“Because they wanted your lazy-ass, twat of a grandfather, but got me instead. They’re not buying I’m his daughter. Which, whether I’m his fucking off-spring or not, I’m more gods damn qualified than he is with this bullshit. Don’t get me wrong, Chanoix is smart, but he’s not a healer. I’ve seen this before,I’ve treated this before,and he hasn’t. He couldn’t do shit if he’d come. Not that he would have.” Her hands were thrown to the air, “He’s too up his own ass to be bothered.”
Eventually she stopped and they both milled adjacent to the beaten path in this random town of which they didn’t bother to learn the name.
Rowan tipped his head at his mother, “Well, what do we do now?”
“I don’t fucking know. Waste of damn time.” She looked to him and eventually managed a smile, “Then again, I guess you and I got some time together away from the outpost. That’s a plus.” They continued to stand. Loitering. Aimless. Her gaze wandered then her head. Pointed ears suddenly went straight, “I know. How about we get a head start on a little project I have coming up?”
“Hm?” He watched as she strolled past and then he skipped his first step to catch up with her.
She made a line to a tailor shop. An everyday pleasantries swap with one of the employees occurred at entry. He kept following, curious what she was up to. His mother went to the slim row of fabrics. She touched at each until she apparently found what she wanted.
“Could I get, hm, we’ll just call it a half yard, of this? And could I use your cutting table?” Things moved along very quickly. Lucille folded her already rather small chunk of fabric in half. She removed a little book from her person that he didn’t even know she carried until just now. It was flipped open to a page with a bunch of measurements. A ruler was plucked up.
The woman paused at the table with one hand on a quill, “You know… you should mark it.”
“Me?” While he wasn’t completely disinterested, he didn’t want to. Rowan declined instantly, waving hands around, “I have no idea what you’re even doing! Besides, what do I need to know about sewing?”
She snorted, “What’s wrong with sewing?” Her face slid closer to his. “Sound too much like woman’s work to you?”
He flinched, “Th-that’s not what I said.” He had himself in hot water.
Her eyes narrowed, “No, but you were thinking ‘that’s girl stuff’, weren’t you?”
“N-no!” The boy’s hands went clammy; she was too good at reading him. His mother latched onto his shoulders and dragged him to the side with all of the tools.
“O-kay! You need these shapes at these dimensions.” Rowan let his head drop. He was stuck. His mother waggled a finger at him, “Pouting won’t get you anywhere. Just see it as a favor to me, love.” She gave him a little extra nudging and he took up starting the measurements. “Try to puzzle them close together. I know that’s a little hard when you don’t have a full visual of all the pieces at once, but do your best. And sewing is a good skill for anyone to have, just so you know.” The boy went on to follow his mother’s instructions with outlining a bunch of shapes with watered down ink. He was more than grateful when it was done.
“What are you making anyway?” Rowan relinquished his spot to her. She went still a moment while checking his work.
When she resumed, she spoke, “Well, I’m getting a head start for once. In case it needs a dye job like Devin’s did. I was not expecting that girl to pop out with brown hair. Speaking of her, you can’t mention this to her or Avery. They don’t know yet. I imagine your aunt and uncle will want to be the ones to tell them.”
Now that had him worried, “Know what yet?”
His mother groaned in disgust, “Your Uncle Ram was slobbering on Wren the other day as he so blatantly loves to do. I yelled at them to get a room or I’d put them behind three sheets barrier magic.” That was the exact amount it took for them to lose all translucency. “And, of course, your dumbass uncle goes, ‘Works for me! That’s how we got Avery!’ And Wren, very quietly, informed us that he ‘might be a little late to the party on that one.’.”
Well now he wasn’t so much worried as muddled on the meaning, “They’re gonna have another kid?”
“Yup! You’ll have another cousin trailing after you, but at least this one will want to be tailing Devin and Avery too.” His mother didn’t pick up the shears. She instead placed one of her sharp-ish nails to the cloth. She pressed hard, but proceeded to slice through in one go. It allowed her to follow the lines he had traced accurately and quickly. “Thus I’m making another stuffed animal for when the baby is born. Like I did for the rest of you. Although… the rest of you got yours a little off the mark.” Lucille rolled up their work, including the leftover scraps as she wasn’t one to let go to waste.
Once ready to go, the woman still had a single thought to share, “I think it’s going to be a girl…”
“What makes you think that?” Rowan asked for no other reason than curiosity.
“Nothing,” she shrugged, “but I have yet to be wrong.”
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