「你還可以嗎？」665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRmuaPMkrt
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh368uBcY0m
「無法不可以。」665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1JMpLIJJ2
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5quDmuUnr
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDn8peeDb5
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvJE4dDeMj
「謝謝你。」665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALnLullq6e
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKZdHYDWlN
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6dlxYS9dM
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbWr1LO0dB
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfEpkT2mo0
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUj9hNwaoC
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBO2uRNeVG9
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9287ChWsSj
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR137DVQjD1
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypsGYpYssi
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5AygOU0tJ
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBjRTnbDj1
「老婆……」665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2ZeaPDrKk
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlXX35kKvt
「有困難？金錢？」665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22IC8uHBsR
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvBAlwMlge
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxrSguuJKS
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1kdjkXVWF
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90lkhuLyW1
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡost9hjWwy6
「嗯。」665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16iiylM5v5
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGrjQg1SaD
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcsP8bFV8S
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiIUgGteqt
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwWEnRPVj0
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNEBAkWm9P7
無能。無力。無奈。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPSNwm3uCp
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7YtDLpRAs
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkQhHoY7kM
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBk45Ctfh9a
剪不斷，理還亂。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lxuJq2JjG
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9eLBzUNuQK
勿剪，別理。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZ5XQ42kcg
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdKBtmfuIc
待時日將其化解。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFju2xj11rW
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Y121h67UY
莫操心。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrVtZQ0zcN
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9vLqDaoej
莫操心？665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrkni3ZUBuA
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFR8xsAhJN
如何莫操心？665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jGbFdf73Z
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJSIUEwAxF
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp20FMKtN6g
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHeTAh1MjQm
撐多久？如何撐？665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2Y8PRp9uJ
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUguxaNMao
不知道……665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbAUCiONt0
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCBC8il4ug
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcvxRNz9SG
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1M4efhjs8A
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaV2sOvrs3J
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hGOUMKQ7w
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRovfyA21eJ
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlK3YGlfQY0
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGf9FjTH5j
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFpRFsTPAG
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2jjXdK2i3
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhS4thcCn4G
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkkt87cVGN
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadCPrerETz
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyR8sbpxs7N
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0B8Dq13SLR
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4kE725hW0
我笑。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPoC8kc7nlO
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxymBEjbw4
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThpW1kHkAE
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68Zb7CI0kb
忽爾不想回家。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmNXAHqod1
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FsvJRlpVm
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrs4pLeFiQ
「好的。」665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC72Z4HGudq
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wwRyx9QkR
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXCzXtOMlA
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScwxDuiNdy
只會苦了自己。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwllgqv1wq
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NMJAxf1HJ
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVODfg1c4e
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0eyKWS6K9
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOuvLdEUms
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmecRffnWRj
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0gWZmUMD5
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WI3vE0HyL
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmycC7a1BZe
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OGqEmijtB
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwutR5pf49
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUP4ZDey6Ky
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡilip5IHGqg
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkIqxHrl9Q
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawXe2gzjrW
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7uxuweWvb
一、二、三、四、五……665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzBi0UE1e1
註：665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvj2G1Qpyh
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokQQRuNjx0
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ006U3kloCb
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCrjr7sTcp3
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcAdMYrE0Z
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEWSTybRzt
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIyrRB0XdL
665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hn2TazVfN
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lHKg2Z348
