「你還可以嗎？」699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffgCQG98EE
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdN4e7izqfO
「無法不可以。」699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiw2KnJd5i
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhoh9h8gFlv
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRP9bIf1JP
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxYTcLwgbP
「謝謝你。」699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXSReqZ8jf
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEg382KCPoz
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkj0uWsh4ug
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiif4wmDjQP
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg6CtmTLf0m
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUToyAlz1UA
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBKIP9stTI
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBtgJM52ay
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCrxwX4tKZ
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWHd2cw04O
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK78Tx51nZz
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1OMSkHKll
「老婆……」699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5WQXsdsWX
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6n5pVFW6o
「有困難？金錢？」699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtJsf4EsAJ
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Nq78djfXL
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNhcpg2EVk
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIgcEErtvw
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPsJJnHD5L
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz22VULNxrj
「嗯。」699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxC6Va8k4F
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxCbq0EVDI
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvHQ8AkWtk
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjPzcWfphg
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcB5XBiSPYV
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7phN8DnaZI
無能。無力。無奈。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlxrs0laKq
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHPPm7BDvK
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhokwHtgp1x
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhTpbWGqel
剪不斷，理還亂。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHovjfGxRAM
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlfjTsB3rc
勿剪，別理。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmpEAtMRxc
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3y4VhU90ss
待時日將其化解。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjfHcyWXtB
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9BIqZfBdl
莫操心。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqPadBiIsu
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxK0qEfoGG
莫操心？699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmUyv5PU3c
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9x2KXulUxr
如何莫操心？699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1KuoQ7ZBI
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFYiMl8nVc
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNi3zJ71bqZ
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmbRpgZNHt
撐多久？如何撐？699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqoIrwwxsN
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7IWybtAdcQ
不知道……699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlaauejBtN
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4J8sJmuzU4
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSQvr9xmnB
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVF9IxqOJms
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIEn0UoZwIt
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyfyQmVEfn
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcEqWaNW2S
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEldB8Qxww
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlJEMxsdH4
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡerbRcY5Fo2
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUs9TQpMM0
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9oCmt26ZT
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgvH7kc4vx
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXg27k72bP
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnHJel89Tm
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CtS0zDWyt
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVPKsnKYGy
我笑。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugY1tsykb7
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2snNNCAqh
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rQuHBcwKQ
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGf1Ubcofk
忽爾不想回家。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGM5l4buvKX
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAUjf7WfT0
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5SA7rdHMq
「好的。」699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCl83a1u04
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoemVbB7xUE
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnWCi9bCfj
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYIIc9QWoe
只會苦了自己。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSrphMFm0eg
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAq0KH8MIZ
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCBSXEwjEF
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpMtMLuEC5
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzflZAHTdU
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhawD44Fvk
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7muFPZFTE
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCYCDhAEd7
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zoBRDOaAO
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0tS14Q6yY
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSMOUsplhQ
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvc4cNjQAH
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rcBNUQDtc
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzmSWD1Ot3
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69JMvGVRtw
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbR4CDnX7bM
一、二、三、四、五……699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ309XTcnzje
註：699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡosXe2orscs
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsYVDpvG4i
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjLIqUQeSX
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDD710LPh0R
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzLuv6OtT0
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucgOAsLve4
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHU9mXP4Jnh
699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVk2UcW3c1
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》699Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEAgPEfNdi
