「你還可以嗎？」664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5JY6pClvn
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8iR69wjA1
「無法不可以。」664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnHVJtkUd7
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobo8ibW72K
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyzZ4MyGn3
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0J35rmZWM
「謝謝你。」664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIALUjhBj5
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEL9GRDWjZB
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYtq0Cf9ut
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlz4tO9Jhcx
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwWJavnfTJ
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGswOZP0Vf
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBfhGd5564
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTIQMyqo5t
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJJszMBt6r
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpuk6xzfn6R
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIzRp5FzJl
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJSukcaWMe
「老婆……」664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LxF0BBItv
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wdSIswp3c
「有困難？金錢？」664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hrGKBMCCO
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFtXcK0aQC
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SZeEvxDFc
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FaC9lOo0r
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBHUfuLzyh
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTmy7ONMQr
「嗯。」664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsTaa1hTDt
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFDPLdOrPJ
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuDXEyimxh
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMNCti6a3QA
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjVWHVFEBA
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOP4XBvId8
無能。無力。無奈。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHytPvwjT9L
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtk1siL9Hde
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0k9RZFJ0Y
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeaEgNXHOTI
剪不斷，理還亂。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvl8eoxTb0V
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4LwBIOSDv
勿剪，別理。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAO5rYV6C7p
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2cCuWVFRR
待時日將其化解。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGmExNb1pR
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatcZLU1joN
莫操心。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDvqZyGNom
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgaDDpvfmOI
莫操心？664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ZJIyLzGAh
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogFCOOS2VH
如何莫操心？664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcx9Wl8lEqV
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0kf7knnYM
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBhtWSlhuB
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtN8dFRJX4
撐多久？如何撐？664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRkH9k54Hp
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmW10VyfIiu
不知道……664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡij29l1Cjvj
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38ZZb5ecU5
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGnb1v74n1
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipSYj0ap3i
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCixMCpWEk
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUIza3I4mt
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wQSRk0hyn
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvHzmwalhL
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRAxiTYBd9
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocHMmk0uSX
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1EwnmV19p
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM503aVY2KJ
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhzk0s9wIv
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzuWT5ogLt
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWyPnDcTMr
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBE78SbfsVS
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHGU9J7hy5
我笑。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dc8I7RYX1
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GrLFrbbaI
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡER3c5ikLvF
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZe6nmuD7c
忽爾不想回家。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5u3MbDXJzR
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUz9wXsgts
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbI3NuDsevh
「好的。」664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSp08eBDK2J
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNE6QQmolB
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwaqzLyLFj
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9NOF8dk99
只會苦了自己。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXz0Oodt9k
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgWFdivEjV
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKPEfjxlMr
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡju1RVR3bC3
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJ5JVEQChT
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzA9yyxHYJ
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptlqpLWlWx
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡISmKSfjRWw
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXuJZVv5xyG
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhNmAZef4u
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcFJIO0SBe
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDE6qlvBXEb
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepDpv2Bj2L
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnFIud2AMo
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5j9nLEXdj
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIEi0ttM0L
一、二、三、四、五……664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM90kzTNHkt
註：664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLMIJ09Sci
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVi8c8XAETF
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmaFoGVMFlE
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmA127tDz3
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgO835I2us
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLWq1Sua0L
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DC7WC29Vl
664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbAnIz84Uh
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》664Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bxisj1kJp
