「你還可以嗎?」526Please respect copyright.PENANA4goIrFEkJi
526Please respect copyright.PENANAYBgeCofGt5
「無法不可以。」526Please respect copyright.PENANA09zuYoOFYw
526Please respect copyright.PENANAMVC0DKN03H
「如需幫忙,來找我吧。」526Please respect copyright.PENANAAzadOIyM4T
526Please respect copyright.PENANApMpXPY9fwS
「謝謝你。」526Please respect copyright.PENANArDmybbo17d
526Please respect copyright.PENANAA5NKw4TQrU
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯,概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱,一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙,我除了感激,更多的是恥感。526Please respect copyright.PENANA4tQcxWfmlq
526Please respect copyright.PENANAqPIKGPYw0I
唉!多講無謂,反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。526Please respect copyright.PENANA9fxTSj799j
526Please respect copyright.PENANAHk5rDZNNhM
疫情關係,全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子,早已節衣縮食,積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著:工作日數減半意味薪金減半。526Please respect copyright.PENANAzpbB72yl0X
526Please respect copyright.PENANAhmDE6NkEfy
供樓開支無法削減,父母醫療開支不能削,孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……526Please respect copyright.PENANAe6MVLvSmeD
526Please respect copyright.PENANA5QHO1bF0ln
飯後,兩老早睡,兒女溫習,妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。526Please respect copyright.PENANAzDwq4bbvOi
526Please respect copyright.PENANARUbrfVXCxo
「老婆……」526Please respect copyright.PENANAaSlruOdpyo
526Please respect copyright.PENANA3ZTIVsFVZo
「有困難?金錢?」526Please respect copyright.PENANAuIT7alBOhl
526Please respect copyright.PENANA8BJAp0xRef
妻子搶佔發言先機,內心不安的我更覺虛怯。526Please respect copyright.PENANAqVkwpntvf8
526Please respect copyright.PENANAQq6BNZT8Xt
「是。明天開始,只需星期二、四上班。」526Please respect copyright.PENANAIwy8FWrMBS
526Please respect copyright.PENANA8ao09hH7m6
「嗯。」526Please respect copyright.PENANAQawYL6YS5B
526Please respect copyright.PENANAA77c4tYCCw
妻子沒再多話,專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外,卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實,也就只得接受和硬撐,呼天搶地無補於事。526Please respect copyright.PENANAmEQYHWtXau
526Please respect copyright.PENANAy7nFuA6dsW
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。526Please respect copyright.PENANAX9i4QI4cPU
526Please respect copyright.PENANA072pAAuyCg
無能。無力。無奈。526Please respect copyright.PENANAM7LYwq81sC
526Please respect copyright.PENANAcSUdhA4c3r
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。526Please respect copyright.PENANAuTvfNTOHq2
526Please respect copyright.PENANAva3yfHpc8e
剪不斷,理還亂。526Please respect copyright.PENANAzxx1e8LZmA
526Please respect copyright.PENANA8XPHplNTZe
勿剪,別理。526Please respect copyright.PENANAYy4IkkuoeP
526Please respect copyright.PENANA9viOCAhm8m
待時日將其化解。526Please respect copyright.PENANARfD40UU41G
526Please respect copyright.PENANAHCC2bpdTQm
莫操心。526Please respect copyright.PENANA8u4ryS3Kzl
526Please respect copyright.PENANA2jjYCeq7xK
莫操心?526Please respect copyright.PENANA89WhI3pHzp
526Please respect copyright.PENANAoQ7onfBvgy
如何莫操心?526Please respect copyright.PENANAIMQUl0QTFN
526Please respect copyright.PENANAXL6w84gtl5
我知道困境必定會過去,但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。526Please respect copyright.PENANAbTiF5dhgw5
526Please respect copyright.PENANAp0VlSr51kq
撐多久?如何撐?526Please respect copyright.PENANAH8Pwg1jdzE
526Please respect copyright.PENANA6EBMsJMGxd
不知道……526Please respect copyright.PENANAGwptjHCdzF
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減,辦公室冷清不少。526Please respect copyright.PENANAumWnynLcKS
526Please respect copyright.PENANArvnTKXdOeq
有人若無其事,有人變得寡言,有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何,公司繼續營運,世界繼續運轉。526Please respect copyright.PENANA8xyaKzae1I
526Please respect copyright.PENANAcM4AEiHsnd
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞,骨瘦如柴,神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物,飢腸轆轆。絕望?誰管你的!天地蒼茫,白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在,北極仍是北極,我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。526Please respect copyright.PENANAlPW1iJjBjz
526Please respect copyright.PENANAzUp4ZSj5xl
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸,白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯,菜心苦黃,排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧!不了,豉油不是必需品,不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。526Please respect copyright.PENANAuDfMq0oU04
526Please respect copyright.PENANA7oDV1pv19X
下班時間,加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量,也不代表工作進度可以放慢。526Please respect copyright.PENANAjWdmGw927f
526Please respect copyright.PENANA9Kt1Zjn7q2
每次想及時間、日子,位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼:它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了;它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目,接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來;它在教導我人生大道理,一寸光陰一吋金,吋金難買寸光陰,更何況加班沒有加班費……526Please respect copyright.PENANA0eKWbBnrpq
526Please respect copyright.PENANAG3V0LTWzEg
關機,正式下班。心情太壞,說服不了自己留下來。回首,同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解,但無法奉陪到底。526Please respect copyright.PENANAi5oEXyBB6m
526Please respect copyright.PENANAvR2YDfd0Q2
大街上,人影疏落,商店無燈。車站無人,想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃,在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花,演唱會螢光棒,無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸,床頭小燈,被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控,只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累?是吧。526Please respect copyright.PENANAWEglXJ2Wjq
526Please respect copyright.PENANA2L2dZILwAX
我笑。526Please respect copyright.PENANAEEQvuoLOTJ
526Please respect copyright.PENANAbVZQ8l13oO
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。526Please respect copyright.PENANAeC5UwDD0vb
526Please respect copyright.PENANAfCHUq0NgTG
忽爾不想回家。526Please respect copyright.PENANAIfHYq3Bgd3
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」526Please respect copyright.PENANAcRUEHzBWTV
526Please respect copyright.PENANA2rM7L3LoxH
「好的。」526Please respect copyright.PENANALXgIg5kgis
526Please respect copyright.PENANABIyVMwIhhd
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵,皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥,微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從?是否只得接受?不順從又如何?不接受又如何?526Please respect copyright.PENANAi9S7DM48Zn
526Please respect copyright.PENANAinh8s3SGBE
只會苦了自己。526Please respect copyright.PENANAylweDc5Hdw
526Please respect copyright.PENANAmPh1rTqcFR
努力改變過,極力掙扎過,然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。526Please respect copyright.PENANAZB5Ar4zvMK
526Please respect copyright.PENANAWIyos8Tlxb
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。526Please respect copyright.PENANAxQSRVrWTeD
526Please respect copyright.PENANAukzuwQXmwR
浴後,睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著,光源自窗外滲入,剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲,以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子,如怪物,如鬼魅。526Please respect copyright.PENANAsU6agmdcAg
526Please respect copyright.PENANA01vmBN4k3k
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題?」526Please respect copyright.PENANA9z9X2cRIOM
526Please respect copyright.PENANACd7mBReKpC
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」526Please respect copyright.PENANApolwo2JMYM
526Please respect copyright.PENANAf227LT9Cyc
妻子乾笑一聲,側身面窗睡去。526Please respect copyright.PENANADHY8TRKOU2
526Please respect copyright.PENANAndfyfL6GFY
我實在笑不出口,呆望天花數蟲子。526Please respect copyright.PENANAloZhdeRqrx
526Please respect copyright.PENANAhlZk0Dk0OZ
一、二、三、四、五……526Please respect copyright.PENANACpCNoKewPu
註:526Please respect copyright.PENANAYfpcncrmQA
526Please respect copyright.PENANA8NDAPqzQXv
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢?」526Please respect copyright.PENANA8KnFxbHH7v
526Please respect copyright.PENANAxnoNxWfuJj
我認為大家除了關於物質上(例如金錢、生活質素)、生理上(例如生命、健康)及心理上(安全感、與親友相聚的快樂)的失去,還有自我認同(例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判)的失去。526Please respect copyright.PENANATClLp1taAo
526Please respect copyright.PENANAOqni7LwiDj
未必關乎大是大非,每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓,足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害?誰知道。526Please respect copyright.PENANASNJ8a3Y1QO
526Please respect copyright.PENANAZztIkN56kb
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》526Please respect copyright.PENANA03cnwTh1BP