（原作：美宅男夢工廠 by 歐巴龍）
我是鬼，五十年前因一時輕敵被該死的神父封印，今天終於有個智障把我放出來了。826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVKZGyb7Ia
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU822vcnMKZ
「啊，我不小心撞到了。」826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5ENaLPdXQ
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOCaujIDce
戴著眼鏡的矮個子從地上撿起斷成兩截的十字架，那十字架做工精細，將耶穌受難的神情刻得栩栩如生，偏偏斷截處又恰好在耶穌的頸子，這彷彿是褻瀆聖子的舉動，嚇得他面色一陣發白。826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVM0RWwxFa4
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1h83uP3Yu
我滿意點頭。826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSaWkHLACUk
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUK4Q4vduhv
很好，這就是我要的效果，愧疚吧！顫抖吧！你們內心的恐懼都將成為我的食糧！826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIluHeAiEr
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhYEXnymPh
一旁的高個青年放下行李，接過十字架研究了會，搖頭說：「沒辦法，賠錢吧。」826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQi3VuvQxCg
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmevVuQuFfE
「不知貴不貴？」826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUZhgFDVM0
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1MClCAA1K
「應該還好。」826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuelCOKaDWk
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4qpEWNhTY
「不過我第一次看到飯店會在房裡放十字架耶。」826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzsOp1hg1b
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9wgrX9alM
「我也是，也有可能是上一個房客落下的。」826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6QmAMWIwn
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORyOumVxe8
兩人說著，就扔下十字架，各自從包裡掏出一個15吋的加蓋四方形儀器，分別坐在桌邊和床上看了起來。826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrA4aHG3WY
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnsQUcxO7aq
我震驚了。826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qH2jfUakt
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7ooT33mNA
不對啊，你們不是該為冒犯神明一事瑟瑟發抖或心生不祥嗎？怎麼可以這麼鎮定？826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwUEf3nmbQ
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDO7Rg9U0M
話說回來，剛這兩個人類說的是哪國語言？826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5clPn1sUs
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyYsMReADT
「小語。」高個子捧著四方形儀器坐到矮個子身邊，「我這邊有個Design problem能幫我看一下嗎？」826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKNA0QoBZ1
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbW2DtVDDD
喔，總算聽到熟悉的語言，我立刻湊過去，邊在心裡計畫各種嚇人詭計，誰知我一靠近，就被那四方形儀器映射出來的畫面嚇得倒退三舍。826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOFeSJBPNa
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpimgyNUPt1
What the hell?826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZsPimQBpS
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphTOt8E2JV
那些密密麻麻的數字符號和文字是什麼東西？為何每一個拆開我都懂，合起來我就看不懂？難道又是教會新研發的鎮鬼經文？826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZruH3fGqHB
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKsXk8LSqw
幸好我躲了半天，都沒感覺到不適，才又慢慢飄過去，聽他們嘰哩呱啦摻雜一些英文詞彙的對話，什麼Project，什麼Function，If不If，還有……Parent & child？826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDJHXTcRBM
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC7vFbVrvEI
嘶——826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ547D0wXZYY
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrx6svPfB4L
我驚疑打量他們只要是黃種人就分不出差別和年紀的臉，開始對他們的關係感到疑惑。但不管怎麼樣，管他們是日本人還是越南人，就算是印度來的，只要是活人，這口糧我都吃定了！826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftFRVa7R5s
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJz48J2x1g
陰風輕輕地吹，一隻冰涼的鬼爪胡亂往矮個子的腰窩戳。826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGN0F0Y8ii
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAOgVN62aO
「夏熠輝你幹嘛啦？很癢耶。」矮個子咯咯亂笑，捶了高個子一記。826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYGGbp1nmy
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31PhVYl2Tz
正注視「鎮鬼經文」的高個子回過頭，投以茫然目光，「哈啊？什麼？我聽不懂。」826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wsbNqvQmO
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0cu7yoZ5sl
矮個子撇了撇嘴，咕噥一句「又來！」就看回「鎮鬼經文」，「沒什麼，你看這裡……」826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxsYNH6Ht6
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lInfms5l3
「 嗯。」高個子應完，就順手攬住矮個子的腰，看起來像將對方抱在懷裡。826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9gVneFwns
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs1OJniiqzS
我也投以茫然目光，感覺哪裡怪怪的。826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhANfCJCZz
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKRY5XEUx2
但身為一個高端的鬼，必須不能使用重複伎倆，於是我飄到高個子身邊，俯身在他耳邊輕笑低語，「嘻嘻嘻，要不要陪我玩？」826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7JdKNHo5g
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXqFV71CHf
然而高個子不為所動！826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhG2jiKC90
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Z4cK3lYjn
我不死心，再說：「我的腳……你把我的腳藏到哪了？」826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwSfCXRN9I
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHp80N1yxb
高個子依然面不改色！826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3asXn7ilP
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvHvqPW8TC
我大怒，直接用吼的，「你死定了！我要殺了你！殺殺殺！」826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDoO503TTU
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrG3xcHGU3
這次高個子終於有動作了。他皺眉掏了掏耳朵，取出一個小巧的儀器擦一擦再戴回去。826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvm2kzBhNJ
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JCYRhujLR
這一刻，我吐血，如果鬼還有血的話。826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmU0XJHydj9
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVhasrFbfH
矮個子比手畫腳地問：「怎麼了？」826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBCfEidDWo
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQsy5XS6QF
高個子搖搖頭，「助聽器有點雜音，大概之前下雨淋到了。」826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhV9ky1hwS
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UcSJ3UFLW
馬的！原來這傢伙是個聾子！826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4EXzPAAbeS
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6WgZymQYc
受到打擊的我窩回角落自閉，直到那兩人蓋上四方形儀器，起身從行李掏出衣物，一前一後地進了浴室，我才精神一振。826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlQgghlYBt
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMonyorkhf7
方才一定是因為「鎮鬼經文」的關係，才讓我出師不利，現在就應該趁他們不在，先把那可疑的四方形儀器毀掉。於是我磨拳擦掌地飄到桌前，準備用最狠厲殘暴的手段摧毀敵人時，就赫然驚見四方形儀器上頭壓著一袋綠色包裝物，那包裝物上頭還印著一個露出兩顆門牙的小傢伙笑容燦爛，這殺傷力不大，但污辱性極強！826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXD4EFRsecx
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzUYnUvDiL
這時，浴室傳來我聽不懂的對話。826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5peb0HdGs
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZreSTvv1q
「為什麼要擺那包零食？」826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrpenvadKe
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFB9UxHDQr
「那是我們台灣的電腦保護神，只要有綠乖乖，所有電子設備都一定會乖乖運作。」826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjJRICrBpC
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpFeMhFeWT
「所以不能吃嗎？」826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4HBltOkZx
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv86FBvLBnd
「不能，吃了就沒用了。」826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKla67XzSe
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Utl6x0Fo0
「但我餓了。」826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpf9TmfteI
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwQT2Y1JKn
「……」826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5ObYWhFB0
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7EEPZIiYOV
此時此刻的我已被怒火佔據理智，絲毫沒意識到哪裡不對勁，只一心想給這兩個該死的人類好看，便動用所有力量顯現身影，以最猙獰駭人的面貌衝進浴室，並開始期待人類被嚇得屁滾尿流的畫面。826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZqxTzx50s
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGGEYDZeLu
哇哈哈哈，驚嚇吧！恐懼吧！人……826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXSudiHk0v
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpFEwdT2iz
「啊……夏熠輝……那裡不、不行……」826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdd0SggtDQl
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0uTr2vyOu
「小語……小語……」826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDHxX1aaeG
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZrZ9eX3iYT
Gya——826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHs709Tti3
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsgKFnPnpY
我發出了比曾被我嚇暈的人類還要驚恐的慘叫。826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIscnvIidbA
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmyj3t5OhE
They are fucking gay!826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHl0cYF3w6
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawMcgThyYT
這如同撒旦一般邪惡的存在，徹底嚇破我的小心靈，讓我一秒縮回十字架，還很自覺地將耶穌的頸子接回來。826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWkxMWKXWM
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtp7UXL7E0y
Oh no！No！No！No！No！Hell no！826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UsXXfYojd
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vtcGIu1Tn
五十年過去，沒想到人間已經變成撒旦的天下，上帝你這不爭氣的傢伙啊！我看我還是繼續沉眠吧。826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzx53BdquhV
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwylkxksn6K
浴室裡，秋推了下將自己壓在牆邊的人，沒戴眼鏡的雙眼一片朦朧，「等、等一下，你剛有沒有聽見什麼？」826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RRDXFljNr
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hLXdcXm84
「嗯？什麼？」夏抱緊懷裡的腰持續衝刺，臉上的神情既迷離又色情，顯然是又聽不見。826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfFaLxlzvB
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dsdBDwK8L
秋瞇了瞇眼，心想算了，就夾緊雙腿，繼續在夏的律動下扯著喉嚨嗯嗯啊啊。826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZpOSKXAeE
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAEmC9Ncbb
Treat or trick，不給糖，就「搗」蛋！826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9Jeapa546
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM61qd01kHp
（P.S. 被關五十年的美國鬼，觀念保守，用詞不政確，請見諒（艸）826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzSZLcYGuq
後記：
此為噗浪幾位文友自辦的【原創文手交換寫同人】活動，這次我抽到的交換對象是歐巴龍，恰逢萬聖節，就來應個景啦XD
難得參加活動，真的是非常有趣的體驗，為此我還重看了一遍《美宅男夢工場》又作了很多筆記，結果最後都沒用上🤣
本來也想隱藏風格，來寫個憂鬱正經風，讓文友猜不到我是誰，但我想來想去，實在想不到切入點，就索性放飛啦XDDD
另外，抽到我的文友是君羊，寫的是《因罪溫存》的顧懷唷，喜歡顧醫師的歡迎點以下網址來看！
#猜猜我是誰 #原創文手交換寫同人 #喵芭閉關坑司機中: #因罪溫存 #賭博
826Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirveF6Ayxz
