231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7oAcgQGGXC
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFNrwOlJN7
和喜歡Kelvin的女生進行了一場不愉快的對話後，我便到了學校門口會合Kelvin：「行得。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT68XlW862o
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJwdk0LvCm
「咁耐嘅？」他問。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbvwTZH9jH
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCoyKKVcfL
「嗯。」想要放鬆心情的我說：「不如今日去掃街，肚餓想食啲嘢。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NxW3GzXpd
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4V6cmLdaHu
「好阿。」Kelvin和我並肩而行。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNPABJKIzU
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyKrB2LwWN
這不是我第一次和Kelvin單獨放學，可是我的心情竟然緊張起來。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87kXpNfCSv
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0JSQn8ocW
自從被同學懷疑我和Kelvin、古榮的關係後，我的心便不再單純。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyeT3Ez4Csi
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡriJe3wQpHR
我開始思考，難道我對他們抱有愛情的感覺而沒有察覺？到底怎樣才算是愛情的喜歡？231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBffRoN0L4I
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNys2qyRRv
我仔細打量Kelvin的側臉。他有一顆性感喉核、單眼皮、微卷頭髮、手臂有因為勤力做運動而得來的小肌肉、永遠不願穿得整齊的校服。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5XBZWr9Wb
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6bTIFXTus
我第一次有這種想法——每天見面的Kelvin外型其實不錯，能夠和他去掃街真幸運。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUD63C7niVt
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WPWqXCjMs
人的想法很微妙，明明沒有事情發生過，我跟Kelvin本來就會相約一起放學和掃街，只因為幾句說話便能扭轉一個人的想法。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURvOLGRt05
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7vF1Rs7Wf
想法塑造習慣，習慣就是生活。一個人的想法非常重要，光用腦袋便能改變自己對世界的觀感。難怪校長時常訓話，學生必需留意自己說話的用詞。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjvTa9xuYe
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZQWQJ1p1E
爸爸吸毒後會有這種感覺嗎？生活過於苦悶無新意，對身邊本來平平無奇的東西，從無到有，誕生了快感。就像吃完精神鴉片，內心一陣飄飄然。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5keIgMFp6q
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkq4f2Zi7y2
「喂。」Kelvin打斷我的發情，還伸手摸摸我的額頭：「你係咪唔舒服？塊面咁紅嘅？」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUe7DFTtwlh
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0IQYk4zDs
「咳咳⋯」我因為吞了一半的口水，嚇得狂咳。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeb4eNSqWIu
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEF0qxioOG4
Kelvin拍拍我的背：「洗唔洗早啲返屋企休息？」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbufg4gsJWz
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa01s1n75Hr
「唔洗。我吞口水唔小心瀆親姐。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78vRyWN35t
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUe7F0kXAA
「咁蠢嘅人都有，你陣間食燒賣小心啲。」說話一啖砂糖一啖屎是Kelvin的特色。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rEsqysI7q
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMZ0f6loMe
我站在Kelvin旁，一邊吃撈麵，一邊等待著我的芋圓鮮奶茶。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLMWA0PMxN
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rR35u3xQD
腦中是各式各樣的幻想。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9WTLnPX08
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1iRZCsXFh
如果我跟Kelvin談戀愛，會一直感受到這種飄飄然嗎？231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVtxZsyIDp
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9aSCykzxG
如果會，戀愛似乎不錯。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kPz4Zccla
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgRGHfj4pG
「琴日睇新聞好爆阿，韓流巨星宣佈退出樂壇。」Kelvin說。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLlq04N2o5
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyCCkXpkm6
「係咩？我無留意。」我通常聽本地音樂，對外國音樂不熟悉。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6vMCXOKQj
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZxBaFBOkT
「原來佢做龜公，開間酒吧做毒竇，仲有堆明星朋友喺Group share落藥迷姦嘅片段，好痴線。」Kelvin說。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DkcX7xMhN
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMsgQpZcUL
「咁癲？佢好似都幾紅。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdOetKZsth
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvwK6gzdTvq
「真係無樣睇。好彩你唔迷呢啲韓星。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2S9iP1cp6I
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusCthOGCvS
「點解咁講？」我問。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavhosreUGs
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdw6438Y27
「鐘意埋啲衣冠禽獸就傷心囉。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqryfgmPvlq
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMhY7IgCgH
「我問你一條問題阿。如果你識人吸毒，仲會唔會同佢做朋友？」Kelvin的話題讓想起我的爸爸。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbYeBa9Ghj
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65jTWTZvvQ
「唔會，我唔會接受。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYWi6r0IxH
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZIPJTYrUq
「如果係你朋友嘅屋企人吸毒呢？」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPQ8ZQTViT
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKImUE5v8s
「咁就難講。」Kelvin說：「佢出入屋企品流複雜。我會盡最大努力幫佢，等佢唔好誤入歧途。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUic4lglXy
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3y4u8g41CK
我從來沒有嘗試幫助爸爸，鼓勵他離開黑社會：「屋企人吸毒，唔係朋友本人吸毒，唔代表會誤入歧途嘅。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32N1HZPYCj
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLdqRQXR5u
想來爸爸也是身不由己賺錢還債，以他的能力除了保安、洗碗也沒有工作適合他，沒有站在他的立場勸喻也是種偽善。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHdalOfulm
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQ11pTRO5I
「係好容易呀！如果你老竇喺房食冰隊草，你喺廳都會聞到啦，毒品喺你眼前，又會心郁郁想試。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYnZ8bNTZT
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZq3048xAU9
「你唔係好鐘意幫人㗎咩？」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡletdoekgQf
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRwPLe83fLy
「阿婆行動不便，點可以相提並論！吸毒對我嚟講無咩討論空間！你話我歧視都係咁講，同賭錢一樣，無人拎住支槍迫佢，累己累人。幫過對方拒絕就算，連朋友都唔會做。留返俾專業嘅機構幫手。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjv2pkUTwEV
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq85NgVxaUk
Kelvin的說話打破了我和他戀愛的幻想。跟正義的Kelvin坦白父親有吸毒習慣絕對是一件自掘墳墓的事。他會討厭我的家庭，管東管西，而需要倚賴父親生存的我在成年前也無法解決家庭背景的問題。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8CLmcdtWv
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UbjBSbTrj
他無意的批評讓我內心不舒服。我是受害者，也很討厭自己的家庭阿！可是家庭的影響一直都在，它就像一道封印在身上除不掉的詛咒。無論是自己、抑或他人，同樣避之則吉。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MjpYjdCUe
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdR8VF9b33s
我寧願沒有開口詢問，沉醉在五分鐘前的粉紅色泡泡裡。我忘記了我和Kelvin是對難以找到共識卻常常一起的朋友。現在的我失去了幻想，變得更自卑了。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUS8F9qeDyw
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52lkbFGS7g
我和Kelvin的關係並不穩固，他會隨時離棄我。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRSAjpNhVH
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYolo1jvWq
婚姻的承諾都能推翻，更何況是乳臭未乾的戀愛。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iSinHwfJ7
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHezxWvTCB
「點解人係群體動物？點解人要互相來往？」我喃喃自語：「係自私，係計算？兩個人，一定係有利益先會走埋一齊。世界上根本冇無私嘅愛。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmtOFIghUm
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PJWrT0P4a
「咁功利，一齊開心唔得咩？」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjCfR3lx0T
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSNNi2Nx6n
「開心都係一種利益。可能對方人緣好，帶自己去認識朋友；可能係對方博學多才，學業上幫到自己；可能係自己孤單，想有人陪伴自己。總之就係因為利益開始，互相需要，到咗某一日，唔再幫到大家，就自然分開。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNdHxUmMov
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMPY0Xidbg
我為未發生的事情擔憂。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqoAd6Z8kdd
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5UsBC0d3Pv
面對關係看得見的分岔，倒數著珍愛的關係終會消逝，無力感擴散。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYbEgiB4le
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM3Bt1wehOb
「你今日做咩事咁多愁善感？」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXjgtCOjAR
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVNohrNfWw
「無呀。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjdp580lfw
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVQanS6gqZ
「我知啦，思春期！中二病！」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWptaNvg890
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPw6oHQ1Se
「唔知呀！你話係就係啦。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQ5OfQK9Yz
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeaOiNHfeVJ
人生就是各種徒勞無功的零碎。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqnPuavTFuB
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKP0XPb5vd6
難過。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTn4EqVAPc0
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