180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7f3mgTqgSH
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42RgVt520V
和喜歡Kelvin的女生進行了一場不愉快的對話後，我便到了學校門口會合Kelvin：「行得。」180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGR7LiB1biX
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38wbmPaYCf
「咁耐嘅？」他問。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOyN8gv1yF
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQYgIkZJYb
「嗯。」想要放鬆心情的我說：「不如今日去掃街，肚餓想食啲嘢。」180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARh7JKsV4V
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUliyO5Z94
「好阿。」Kelvin和我並肩而行。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzd4OsJP0ye
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xz9e1TTEO
這不是我第一次和Kelvin單獨放學，可是我的心情竟然緊張起來。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQsi7PeaiW
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoLkkSwghN
自從被同學懷疑我和Kelvin、古榮的關係後，我的心便不再單純。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNRu0FK3Uu
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiluxYCySeC
我開始思考，難道我對他們抱有愛情的感覺而沒有察覺？到底怎樣才算是愛情的喜歡？180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXY3FvQNlz
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nFFsVLn8x
我仔細打量Kelvin的側臉。他有一顆性感喉核、單眼皮、微卷頭髮、手臂有因為勤力做運動而得來的小肌肉、永遠不願穿得整齊的校服。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEGdLhU27u
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoL8D2NC2e
我第一次有這種想法——每天見面的Kelvin外型其實不錯，能夠和他去掃街真幸運。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEk8trgvOg
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLKhRye45r
人的想法很微妙，明明沒有事情發生過，我跟Kelvin本來就會相約一起放學和掃街，只因為幾句說話便能扭轉一個人的想法。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8tmAZLhZV
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XSrNP0UCI
想法塑造習慣，習慣就是生活。一個人的想法非常重要，光用腦袋便能改變自己對世界的觀感。難怪校長時常訓話，學生必需留意自己說話的用詞。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVVfvr52Ai
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXjdiyBDrls
爸爸吸毒後會有這種感覺嗎？生活過於苦悶無新意，對身邊本來平平無奇的東西，從無到有，誕生了快感。就像吃完精神鴉片，內心一陣飄飄然。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO89hLF5TjH
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHMRB3WFs7
「喂。」Kelvin打斷我的發情，還伸手摸摸我的額頭：「你係咪唔舒服？塊面咁紅嘅？」180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAz5nWrBlt
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVvVM8Cn6q
「咳咳⋯」我因為吞了一半的口水，嚇得狂咳。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpErJBsTL7j
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyA48VT1r0w
Kelvin拍拍我的背：「洗唔洗早啲返屋企休息？」180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8CMbpUUvZ
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OhLsWCX8X
「唔洗。我吞口水唔小心瀆親姐。」180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpjZvTQQcc
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4c4LA2hNOU
「咁蠢嘅人都有，你陣間食燒賣小心啲。」說話一啖砂糖一啖屎是Kelvin的特色。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQbaBgnSYCG
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYAa1fGojs
我站在Kelvin旁，一邊吃撈麵，一邊等待著我的芋圓鮮奶茶。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zas3UMyty
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1m4itJljQg
腦中是各式各樣的幻想。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfDzFWBOg0
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpixxy42rMY
如果我跟Kelvin談戀愛，會一直感受到這種飄飄然嗎？180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujCFC2jqHg
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgFDk27x1Z
如果會，戀愛似乎不錯。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDB57TC7cd6
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeJToCYklc
「琴日睇新聞好爆阿，韓流巨星宣佈退出樂壇。」Kelvin說。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfNA0RFLjQ
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpJlWVnV06
「係咩？我無留意。」我通常聽本地音樂，對外國音樂不熟悉。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbUVzXwfm4
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EUpDAkpez
「原來佢做龜公，開間酒吧做毒竇，仲有堆明星朋友喺Group share落藥迷姦嘅片段，好痴線。」Kelvin說。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45ENPYAOa6
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Ph9qEVGXY
「咁癲？佢好似都幾紅。」180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvO3U3fvV9
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqJJtd8n1E
「真係無樣睇。好彩你唔迷呢啲韓星。」180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDnRmZuOa5
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahP7EvGNfI
「點解咁講？」我問。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPzkP83yro
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXwIi0ha4J
「鐘意埋啲衣冠禽獸就傷心囉。」180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDoqHdrOi3
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYHIg0G0Mf
「我問你一條問題阿。如果你識人吸毒，仲會唔會同佢做朋友？」Kelvin的話題讓想起我的爸爸。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOSl5F8vr5
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxbJtgRtgN
「唔會，我唔會接受。」180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOoqeYaAn6
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NpQ3r1GF6
「如果係你朋友嘅屋企人吸毒呢？」180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPH5sL1Q8y3
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5CxQayHex
「咁就難講。」Kelvin說：「佢出入屋企品流複雜。我會盡最大努力幫佢，等佢唔好誤入歧途。」180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAZ9GuG88u
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYl4cgZIykP
我從來沒有嘗試幫助爸爸，鼓勵他離開黑社會：「屋企人吸毒，唔係朋友本人吸毒，唔代表會誤入歧途嘅。」180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBebk9EuSv
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCh312DFpQt
想來爸爸也是身不由己賺錢還債，以他的能力除了保安、洗碗也沒有工作適合他，沒有站在他的立場勸喻也是種偽善。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQSTvHGVmN
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKRwVUrAHL
「係好容易呀！如果你老竇喺房食冰隊草，你喺廳都會聞到啦，毒品喺你眼前，又會心郁郁想試。」180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLs4qEkMeHc
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zn1Aoc4yW
「你唔係好鐘意幫人㗎咩？」180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPiaTvQaLR
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1nSJ3OOf8R
「阿婆行動不便，點可以相提並論！吸毒對我嚟講無咩討論空間！你話我歧視都係咁講，同賭錢一樣，無人拎住支槍迫佢，累己累人。幫過對方拒絕就算，連朋友都唔會做。留返俾專業嘅機構幫手。」180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbHFn1fwsp
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPV08tsDv9c
Kelvin的說話打破了我和他戀愛的幻想。跟正義的Kelvin坦白父親有吸毒習慣絕對是一件自掘墳墓的事。他會討厭我的家庭，管東管西，而需要倚賴父親生存的我在成年前也無法解決家庭背景的問題。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRG6iEaDbwA
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUgtwTeg9H
他無意的批評讓我內心不舒服。我是受害者，也很討厭自己的家庭阿！可是家庭的影響一直都在，它就像一道封印在身上除不掉的詛咒。無論是自己、抑或他人，同樣避之則吉。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOvxpDvmw3
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpp1bQHoqx3
我寧願沒有開口詢問，沉醉在五分鐘前的粉紅色泡泡裡。我忘記了我和Kelvin是對難以找到共識卻常常一起的朋友。現在的我失去了幻想，變得更自卑了。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfkIKrDcUO
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtATfH8rXYS
我和Kelvin的關係並不穩固，他會隨時離棄我。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnPatbYpB9
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinhxrchfmn
婚姻的承諾都能推翻，更何況是乳臭未乾的戀愛。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6AdBBZcs1
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Te8PgP6q3
「點解人係群體動物？點解人要互相來往？」我喃喃自語：「係自私，係計算？兩個人，一定係有利益先會走埋一齊。世界上根本冇無私嘅愛。」180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNMdw8v6my
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtO6IT6sAMc
「咁功利，一齊開心唔得咩？」180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tLxfYmRHo
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAcyibYPrB
「開心都係一種利益。可能對方人緣好，帶自己去認識朋友；可能係對方博學多才，學業上幫到自己；可能係自己孤單，想有人陪伴自己。總之就係因為利益開始，互相需要，到咗某一日，唔再幫到大家，就自然分開。」180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWN7uyShwv
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTjSjEpTa0
我為未發生的事情擔憂。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKa7wS48e2M
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYBriEgpiw
面對關係看得見的分岔，倒數著珍愛的關係終會消逝，無力感擴散。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjmUqz3luq
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONgqpscdtI
「你今日做咩事咁多愁善感？」180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDgbJ9mKP1
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIEnYySsfz
「無呀。」180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSFAMQPyse
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9UEQkDMir
「我知啦，思春期！中二病！」180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rrnUPy5ty
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpn5Co8sRWw
「唔知呀！你話係就係啦。」180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YIneT3Czy
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NgagiMXld
人生就是各種徒勞無功的零碎。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAmi8woTDF
180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbvH3y6rnw
難過。180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoFM2Z2rdS
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