252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRt0QcImVFL
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHVt6yS2pj
和喜歡Kelvin的女生進行了一場不愉快的對話後，我便到了學校門口會合Kelvin：「行得。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRn8LUyP6L
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVMrGl4UUa
「咁耐嘅？」他問。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcb4iZ9Z5Aa
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyXCeWGSnK
「嗯。」想要放鬆心情的我說：「不如今日去掃街，肚餓想食啲嘢。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmuadbPfbG
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWMl5zLkvN
「好阿。」Kelvin和我並肩而行。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tBHzsjbGS
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTRIxdvPqo
這不是我第一次和Kelvin單獨放學，可是我的心情竟然緊張起來。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aRVjDtl7J
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPcZqIg296
自從被同學懷疑我和Kelvin、古榮的關係後，我的心便不再單純。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvp0JoimIO
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9AJRrL8vV
我開始思考，難道我對他們抱有愛情的感覺而沒有察覺？到底怎樣才算是愛情的喜歡？252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJRWv2BGMN
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5ooOidJD8
我仔細打量Kelvin的側臉。他有一顆性感喉核、單眼皮、微卷頭髮、手臂有因為勤力做運動而得來的小肌肉、永遠不願穿得整齊的校服。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIC0qMsbWr
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkrpCEQF4x
我第一次有這種想法——每天見面的Kelvin外型其實不錯，能夠和他去掃街真幸運。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxt9cvTmHu
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTVQEdmCdR
人的想法很微妙，明明沒有事情發生過，我跟Kelvin本來就會相約一起放學和掃街，只因為幾句說話便能扭轉一個人的想法。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM77i8hFD41
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlyhfyg8Id
想法塑造習慣，習慣就是生活。一個人的想法非常重要，光用腦袋便能改變自己對世界的觀感。難怪校長時常訓話，學生必需留意自己說話的用詞。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TzWCSQwtk
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcaiyeHonr
爸爸吸毒後會有這種感覺嗎？生活過於苦悶無新意，對身邊本來平平無奇的東西，從無到有，誕生了快感。就像吃完精神鴉片，內心一陣飄飄然。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkOEXkyiQR
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUTnknkHU0
「喂。」Kelvin打斷我的發情，還伸手摸摸我的額頭：「你係咪唔舒服？塊面咁紅嘅？」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmoSPMzRAj
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2i4UESfEyY
「咳咳⋯」我因為吞了一半的口水，嚇得狂咳。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStKrclGtUe
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfal4vIedoV
Kelvin拍拍我的背：「洗唔洗早啲返屋企休息？」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3mvVQ8jZ7
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZG4mjkPbml
「唔洗。我吞口水唔小心瀆親姐。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlLYqcyzaz
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pkCZUxb7m
「咁蠢嘅人都有，你陣間食燒賣小心啲。」說話一啖砂糖一啖屎是Kelvin的特色。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7NtgOfgGp
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGMZwGVlzR
我站在Kelvin旁，一邊吃撈麵，一邊等待著我的芋圓鮮奶茶。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlDgYUIfS8
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDrLjRlS6S
腦中是各式各樣的幻想。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZTuAMWCoFr
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPuc8t7f9X
如果我跟Kelvin談戀愛，會一直感受到這種飄飄然嗎？252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAIShH20pR
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXky8DrkKuB
如果會，戀愛似乎不錯。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Gnw5IWQXX
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmw4yKl3Ln
「琴日睇新聞好爆阿，韓流巨星宣佈退出樂壇。」Kelvin說。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNro59hl8N
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfq7s6VthJ3
「係咩？我無留意。」我通常聽本地音樂，對外國音樂不熟悉。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBld63JBDUI
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHxlhj2lru
「原來佢做龜公，開間酒吧做毒竇，仲有堆明星朋友喺Group share落藥迷姦嘅片段，好痴線。」Kelvin說。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡseMoJSbQ3A
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiHUH9b0Jb
「咁癲？佢好似都幾紅。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHQCWnUjfo
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNqYJRB3YB
「真係無樣睇。好彩你唔迷呢啲韓星。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7zSEN5rBJ
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuL9C6HzeC8
「點解咁講？」我問。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygRj8Lpfgi
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbh5GBMzGj
「鐘意埋啲衣冠禽獸就傷心囉。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Bg8FScqz7
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYQUamH3yB
「我問你一條問題阿。如果你識人吸毒，仲會唔會同佢做朋友？」Kelvin的話題讓想起我的爸爸。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWu6YcuwAL
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqXXf9cP9K
「唔會，我唔會接受。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMeGYQDpFv
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EIwsmsTX7
「如果係你朋友嘅屋企人吸毒呢？」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wHwjLIBxI
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7IDgn21xe
「咁就難講。」Kelvin說：「佢出入屋企品流複雜。我會盡最大努力幫佢，等佢唔好誤入歧途。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjchaM6qWvY
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYkZs7K466
我從來沒有嘗試幫助爸爸，鼓勵他離開黑社會：「屋企人吸毒，唔係朋友本人吸毒，唔代表會誤入歧途嘅。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwntzIAzV0
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLV3RAsTGbP
想來爸爸也是身不由己賺錢還債，以他的能力除了保安、洗碗也沒有工作適合他，沒有站在他的立場勸喻也是種偽善。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ730DBT6wyn
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgjKTIVvvw
「係好容易呀！如果你老竇喺房食冰隊草，你喺廳都會聞到啦，毒品喺你眼前，又會心郁郁想試。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡas51Y4IrLJ
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtYcniIBSv
「你唔係好鐘意幫人㗎咩？」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HXjvYiV8W
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfu9fR1Yl4z
「阿婆行動不便，點可以相提並論！吸毒對我嚟講無咩討論空間！你話我歧視都係咁講，同賭錢一樣，無人拎住支槍迫佢，累己累人。幫過對方拒絕就算，連朋友都唔會做。留返俾專業嘅機構幫手。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexaVtLCqs8
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVEe6IL5acK
Kelvin的說話打破了我和他戀愛的幻想。跟正義的Kelvin坦白父親有吸毒習慣絕對是一件自掘墳墓的事。他會討厭我的家庭，管東管西，而需要倚賴父親生存的我在成年前也無法解決家庭背景的問題。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YTra1hZjG
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtWs8pYF3X
他無意的批評讓我內心不舒服。我是受害者，也很討厭自己的家庭阿！可是家庭的影響一直都在，它就像一道封印在身上除不掉的詛咒。無論是自己、抑或他人，同樣避之則吉。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54b7AHPeVp
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRJpZ2cNsa
我寧願沒有開口詢問，沉醉在五分鐘前的粉紅色泡泡裡。我忘記了我和Kelvin是對難以找到共識卻常常一起的朋友。現在的我失去了幻想，變得更自卑了。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmSXQsTa6x
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAIYQn2HgQ
我和Kelvin的關係並不穩固，他會隨時離棄我。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Q24V3PiBR
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeq39W71b4D
婚姻的承諾都能推翻，更何況是乳臭未乾的戀愛。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwyRmsXgQ9z
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfSHocShvg
「點解人係群體動物？點解人要互相來往？」我喃喃自語：「係自私，係計算？兩個人，一定係有利益先會走埋一齊。世界上根本冇無私嘅愛。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNLIG2kSo9
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFiIDBOf21t
「咁功利，一齊開心唔得咩？」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboKRs7qjqu
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5y7ZifiEG
「開心都係一種利益。可能對方人緣好，帶自己去認識朋友；可能係對方博學多才，學業上幫到自己；可能係自己孤單，想有人陪伴自己。總之就係因為利益開始，互相需要，到咗某一日，唔再幫到大家，就自然分開。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2EH4mJDBR
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLYcKQHTs4z
我為未發生的事情擔憂。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbalAteFf2F
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWML4i6soB
面對關係看得見的分岔，倒數著珍愛的關係終會消逝，無力感擴散。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVuwswEjRF
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudAHiYM5YV
「你今日做咩事咁多愁善感？」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtg9BDRFvxg
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnRSN0WyV7
「無呀。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUDWwyUehx
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUFfpTEDqL
「我知啦，思春期！中二病！」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXhsKCE8Qd
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9Plb8Dpvn
「唔知呀！你話係就係啦。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0yiegTovU
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa8HJO8L9bj
人生就是各種徒勞無功的零碎。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7LnZKEjoqJ
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgckhrUflw4
難過。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzl67ffWzL
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