【第四章 還是前置作業1】27Please respect copyright.PENANACWP24kRWIW
27Please respect copyright.PENANA0ytAW6Itmc
27Please respect copyright.PENANAAlaR1N3RHD
「林輩,林輩……」27Please respect copyright.PENANAaOo6tWrGDr
27Please respect copyright.PENANA1wf7TvjsTs
有什麼聲音在耳邊嗡嗡的作響,吵得林輩下意識就揮出一巴掌。馬的,老子在睡覺,吵什麼吵啊!27Please respect copyright.PENANAXROa1ZEEil
27Please respect copyright.PENANAQPi2KcG5jU
啪!清脆的一聲,終止了林輩身體被搖晃的動作。正當林輩準備安心地和某位周先生再來摸個十圈八圈,看能不能摸出國士無雙的好牌時,一陣劇烈的疼痛猛地從他的下半身傳來。27Please respect copyright.PENANAGWmb96vJYa
27Please respect copyright.PENANAyK1mrgC16y
「啊啊啊啊啊啊!!!!!」27Please respect copyright.PENANAoEAq7b1qgj
27Please respect copyright.PENANA9M3vQEqlxp
什麼國士無雙,什麼槓上開花,全部被林輩丟到腦後。原本垂在嘴角的口水囌地吸了回去,林輩兩隻手按著下體,臉孔扭曲地從地上蹦了起來,變形拔高的慘叫迴盪在樓梯口,久久不散。27Please respect copyright.PENANAtZ9TfIvCU3
27Please respect copyright.PENANATcofsr1eXU
「清醒了嗎?」彷彿結成冰塊的聲音,由上而下的砸了下來。27Please respect copyright.PENANAlin6YnKHwJ
27Please respect copyright.PENANA6Ha6o5Xq3c
林輩張大一雙滿是血絲的眼,狼狽地抬起頭。首先映入眼簾的,是一雙穿著牛仔短褲的修長美腿,那白皙的腳掌踩著六公分高的高跟鞋,細長的鞋跟輕輕敲擊著地面,強烈宣示出存在感。27Please respect copyright.PENANASqFFSfxYz4
27Please respect copyright.PENANAXyzlc0BPpE
林輩的視線再往上移,纖細的腰身,清涼的細肩帶打扮:不怒而威的瓜子臉上,兩道柳眉倒豎。然後,林輩看見對方的右頰上是一記殷紅的五爪痕。27Please respect copyright.PENANAITxtGGNZH2
27Please respect copyright.PENANAyAK9IhxPmt
幹!不會那麼衰吧?!林輩按著胯下,膽戰心驚地退了一步。他的眼角餘光偷偷地瞄了一下六公分長的鞋跟,完全不用判斷,用雞雞想就知道,那鞋根是活生生的兇器啊!!27Please respect copyright.PENANAxuzTtsXKyf
27Please respect copyright.PENANA390Y1aeCiO
「林輩先生,你打得很順嘛?」羊子小姐摸了一下還在發燙的右頰,陰惻惻地笑了起來。27Please respect copyright.PENANAJl6Q7V86Ka
27Please respect copyright.PENANALB4TyrgIDK
林輩聽見背景音樂瞬間切換成大白鯊主題曲。27Please respect copyright.PENANAQDjMt0jNxT
27Please respect copyright.PENANATG4DTixB0h
「信不信我下一次可以讓你直接──」羊子小姐的高跟鞋敲了敲地面,發出清脆的聲音,百分百的威脅。27Please respect copyright.PENANACMJpdY7cD4
27Please respect copyright.PENANAzc0JQHBsBo
「信……我信……」林輩的聲音幾乎都在抖了,抖出了不成調的花腔女高音。他的胯下痛得要死,在在提醒他,只要羊子小姐再使勁一些,就可以讓他的蛋白質製造量減少成百分之一。27Please respect copyright.PENANAz972DYFj7q
27Please respect copyright.PENANAPBf8Khfn0S
「既然現在清醒了,就趕快去廁所洗把臉。你這副模樣,嘖嘖……」羊子小姐上上下下地打量林輩一番,憐憫地搖搖頭。27Please respect copyright.PENANAQu8l9MosK1
27Please respect copyright.PENANA3lkL3ht9kS
等一下,那充滿同情的眼神是怎麼回事?林輩繼續按著胯下,一邊移動著腳步遠離羊子小姐,一邊努力的回想著。27Please respect copyright.PENANAaiy1g7mCSy
27Please respect copyright.PENANABtpIZwfWv4
林輩記得,昨天執行的芭娜娜計畫宣告失敗,努力搜集的香蕉皮完全沒派上用場,Boss就直接搭電梯沙喲娜啦了。他原本預定是要衝去邊集家中練一下人形沙包的手感,但是卻腳下一滑,先是來了個華麗的前空翻,再來個漂亮的三百六十度大翻滾,最後以一記青蛙墜地勢,驗證了流浪者基地樓梯的兇名遠播,絕非虛傳。27Please respect copyright.PENANAqAlBtiBFY6
27Please respect copyright.PENANAjrcQEB4bbN
以上的思考看似複雜,其實只花了林輩零點零零一秒。畢竟做編輯這一行的,除了要反應迅速,隨時應付作者的哭夭;還要一心多用,一邊校稿審稿兼退稿,自然鍛鍊出靈敏的大腦。27Please respect copyright.PENANAdRWLdQwq6i
27Please respect copyright.PENANARByugPUMUg
流浪者基地出產,品質保證,僅此一家!27Please respect copyright.PENANAIXCGGBOuaB
27Please respect copyright.PENANAx2zHwnBrKX
所以林輩很快的確定,在還未謀殺掉Boss之前,他差點被自家公司的樓梯給謀殺了。27Please respect copyright.PENANAp7jyODQFt8
27Please respect copyright.PENANArhe1nIEWoW
值得慶幸的是,差一點並不代表既定事實。因此林輩才能一邊按著剛才被羊子小姐踩住的胯下哀哀叫,一邊姿勢怪異的走進廁所裡。27Please respect copyright.PENANAouhejMg8Pq
27Please respect copyright.PENANAAVzlk8qCrJ
花了數分鐘不到的時間,林輩很快地就將儀容打點完畢。正當他一臉清爽地踏出來時,頓時遇倒了表情比他更清爽、更春風滿面的邊集同事。27Please respect copyright.PENANAcytC2BeI6R
27Please respect copyright.PENANAs3nlXEP5Jn
下一秒,林輩的臉色由紅轉白,由白轉青,再由青轉黑,驗證了人類的臉孔可以變化出多種色差的真理。然後再下下一秒,渾然不知道自己踩到林輩地雷的邊集,露出爽朗的微笑。27Please respect copyright.PENANAU1A38MIuTT
27Please respect copyright.PENANA1nyQY0KN6m
「早安啊,林輩,昨天真是一個美妙的晚上啊。」27Please respect copyright.PENANAzGXftH4qXz
27Please respect copyright.PENANAXNSzgG4Uqy
幹!老子都撞暈了哪裡美妙!27Please respect copyright.PENANAYJyUos5ipS
27Please respect copyright.PENANA2EbDLdIQuJ
「噢,看你的表情,讓我猜猜……娜娜芭計畫應該是失敗了。」27Please respect copyright.PENANAS9VRrHZPPK
27Please respect copyright.PENANAEAlnotaaiy
林輩的嘴角開始抽搐。馬的,死邊集,連計畫名字都搞錯,讓那個狗屁的芭娜娜計畫見鬼去吧!27Please respect copyright.PENANAtWF0C7UGOd
27Please respect copyright.PENANAJKHkDuItXI
「沒關係,林輩,失敗為成功之母。身為你最忠心的好友,我已經替你想了另外一個點子,就叫做──Zzz大作戰。」27Please respect copyright.PENANA39BgDsQdEn
27Please respect copyright.PENANATrt5zCEdWT
林輩的表情扭曲,手指忍不住折得喀喀作響。他嚴重懷疑,邊集昨天的所作所為,只是為了得到羊子小姐的香蕉皮。27Please respect copyright.PENANAvfj5ItMiVw
27Please respect copyright.PENANA3ydMqrTznD
恭喜你,邊集同事,你成功得到了香蕉皮,但是你的HP值將在今天減到最低,因為勇者林輩已經要對你使出大絕招了。27Please respect copyright.PENANAordG0D5xvW
27Please respect copyright.PENANASpA7Oi8sQH
熟悉的碰碰聲再次從廁所傳出來,流浪者基地的其餘員工見怪不怪的繼續打卡上班。反正不管是男廁或女廁,每隔幾天都會聽到類似的聲音,差別在於聲音有大有小而已。27Please respect copyright.PENANAiHJrH4b6J2
27Please respect copyright.PENANASrU7tcSVQU
整了整衣領,林輩神清氣爽地步出廁所,身後則是掛著兩隻黑眼圈、哼哼哈哈哀叫的邊集。27Please respect copyright.PENANAJTQUizDrp5
27Please respect copyright.PENANAFYgncFn9S6
「好了,現在讓我們談談,剛剛的英文大小寫是怎麼回事?」林輩雙手環胸,將身體的大半重量靠在飲水機上。27Please respect copyright.PENANAt5KmFW48s3
27Please respect copyright.PENANAhiuNQHCFRF
「就是Zzz啊……」邊集滿臉的委曲。「漫畫上不是都喜歡用這三個英文字表示睡覺的意思。」27Please respect copyright.PENANA3PK8BiiqWc
27Please respect copyright.PENANARWajiPTojx
「老子當然知道那是睡覺的符──」27Please respect copyright.PENANAl48yLnLJZs
27Please respect copyright.PENANAJn07gXNvib
最後一個「號」字還卡在喉嚨,林輩的表情突然綻放出明亮的色彩,他站直身子,以著全新的目光打量邊集。27Please respect copyright.PENANA8gb7UN5l3w
27Please respect copyright.PENANAeIOYhePRt0
「喔喔,邊集吾友,你說的Zzz大作戰,該不會就是很邪惡地在咖啡裡下安眠藥,然後再很邪惡地把對方打包帶走的方法?」27Please respect copyright.PENANA5KsjE6Iw1L
27Please respect copyright.PENANApNZStldobh
「林輩吾友,請你不要一直加上『很邪惡』三個字,我不想再被羊子小姐誤會。就算我真的有動過這個念頭,但我還是沒有徹底的實施。」邊集義正詞嚴的開口。27Please respect copyright.PENANA7dbFEgi3g7
27Please respect copyright.PENANAiLRSNBM8XX
「意思就是你曾經實施到一半?」林輩投以懷疑的目光。「廢話少說,安眠藥給我。」他伸出手,一隻眼睛催促著邊集快拿出安眠藥,一隻眼睛則是留意著大門的動靜。27Please respect copyright.PENANATClYzXdMWS
27Please respect copyright.PENANA2FTYQHAO1t
「記得不要用太多喔,我只剩下這一小罐而已。」從口袋裡拿出標籤上寫有三鹿牌奶精的小瓶子,邊集再三囑咐著。27Please respect copyright.PENANAg7lamhnWQR
27Please respect copyright.PENANAaxoudtAbOl
「喂喂,你確定沒拿錯嗎?」林輩的手停在半空中,露出強烈的質疑。27Please respect copyright.PENANArbSMxLrkXm
27Please respect copyright.PENANAEcuFkxr8y3
「沒錯啊,我特地找了一個奶精的瓶子來裝,為的就是避人耳目。你想想,當Boss要下班之前,你替他泡了一杯咖啡,有咖啡當然要加奶精,這很合理吧?然後你端著這一杯咖啡進辦公室,大家自然就不會想到,那其實是一杯加了安眠藥的咖啡。」27Please respect copyright.PENANAbstbLphlIa
27Please respect copyright.PENANAU4Tl4s4GcQ
「嗯,你說的很有道理。」林輩停在半空中的手繼續前進,將那瓶三鹿牌奶精握在手裡,眼中燃起了勢在必得的火焰。27Please respect copyright.PENANAzcmfx2Rghu
27Please respect copyright.PENANA2MfDnjXY3G
從那堅定的目光中,清楚顯示了八個大字:不成功,便揍死邊集。27Please respect copyright.PENANAhpWYnw8sbf
27Please respect copyright.PENANAsgY1FEHWKK
ns3.14.134.62da2 27Please respect copyright.PENANA0ytAW6Itmc
27Please respect copyright.PENANAAlaR1N3RHD
「林輩,林輩……」27Please respect copyright.PENANAaOo6tWrGDr
27Please respect copyright.PENANA1wf7TvjsTs
有什麼聲音在耳邊嗡嗡的作響,吵得林輩下意識就揮出一巴掌。馬的,老子在睡覺,吵什麼吵啊!27Please respect copyright.PENANAXROa1ZEEil
27Please respect copyright.PENANAQPi2KcG5jU
啪!清脆的一聲,終止了林輩身體被搖晃的動作。正當林輩準備安心地和某位周先生再來摸個十圈八圈,看能不能摸出國士無雙的好牌時,一陣劇烈的疼痛猛地從他的下半身傳來。27Please respect copyright.PENANAGWmb96vJYa
27Please respect copyright.PENANAyK1mrgC16y
「啊啊啊啊啊啊!!!!!」27Please respect copyright.PENANAoEAq7b1qgj
27Please respect copyright.PENANA9M3vQEqlxp
什麼國士無雙,什麼槓上開花,全部被林輩丟到腦後。原本垂在嘴角的口水囌地吸了回去,林輩兩隻手按著下體,臉孔扭曲地從地上蹦了起來,變形拔高的慘叫迴盪在樓梯口,久久不散。27Please respect copyright.PENANAtZ9TfIvCU3
27Please respect copyright.PENANATcofsr1eXU
「清醒了嗎?」彷彿結成冰塊的聲音,由上而下的砸了下來。27Please respect copyright.PENANAlin6YnKHwJ
27Please respect copyright.PENANA6Ha6o5Xq3c
林輩張大一雙滿是血絲的眼,狼狽地抬起頭。首先映入眼簾的,是一雙穿著牛仔短褲的修長美腿,那白皙的腳掌踩著六公分高的高跟鞋,細長的鞋跟輕輕敲擊著地面,強烈宣示出存在感。27Please respect copyright.PENANASqFFSfxYz4
27Please respect copyright.PENANAXyzlc0BPpE
林輩的視線再往上移,纖細的腰身,清涼的細肩帶打扮:不怒而威的瓜子臉上,兩道柳眉倒豎。然後,林輩看見對方的右頰上是一記殷紅的五爪痕。27Please respect copyright.PENANAITxtGGNZH2
27Please respect copyright.PENANAyAK9IhxPmt
幹!不會那麼衰吧?!林輩按著胯下,膽戰心驚地退了一步。他的眼角餘光偷偷地瞄了一下六公分長的鞋跟,完全不用判斷,用雞雞想就知道,那鞋根是活生生的兇器啊!!27Please respect copyright.PENANAxuzTtsXKyf
27Please respect copyright.PENANA390Y1aeCiO
「林輩先生,你打得很順嘛?」羊子小姐摸了一下還在發燙的右頰,陰惻惻地笑了起來。27Please respect copyright.PENANAJl6Q7V86Ka
27Please respect copyright.PENANALB4TyrgIDK
林輩聽見背景音樂瞬間切換成大白鯊主題曲。27Please respect copyright.PENANAQDjMt0jNxT
27Please respect copyright.PENANATG4DTixB0h
「信不信我下一次可以讓你直接──」羊子小姐的高跟鞋敲了敲地面,發出清脆的聲音,百分百的威脅。27Please respect copyright.PENANACMJpdY7cD4
27Please respect copyright.PENANAzc0JQHBsBo
「信……我信……」林輩的聲音幾乎都在抖了,抖出了不成調的花腔女高音。他的胯下痛得要死,在在提醒他,只要羊子小姐再使勁一些,就可以讓他的蛋白質製造量減少成百分之一。27Please respect copyright.PENANAz972DYFj7q
27Please respect copyright.PENANAPBf8Khfn0S
「既然現在清醒了,就趕快去廁所洗把臉。你這副模樣,嘖嘖……」羊子小姐上上下下地打量林輩一番,憐憫地搖搖頭。27Please respect copyright.PENANAQu8l9MosK1
27Please respect copyright.PENANA3lkL3ht9kS
等一下,那充滿同情的眼神是怎麼回事?林輩繼續按著胯下,一邊移動著腳步遠離羊子小姐,一邊努力的回想著。27Please respect copyright.PENANAaiy1g7mCSy
27Please respect copyright.PENANABtpIZwfWv4
林輩記得,昨天執行的芭娜娜計畫宣告失敗,努力搜集的香蕉皮完全沒派上用場,Boss就直接搭電梯沙喲娜啦了。他原本預定是要衝去邊集家中練一下人形沙包的手感,但是卻腳下一滑,先是來了個華麗的前空翻,再來個漂亮的三百六十度大翻滾,最後以一記青蛙墜地勢,驗證了流浪者基地樓梯的兇名遠播,絕非虛傳。27Please respect copyright.PENANAqAlBtiBFY6
27Please respect copyright.PENANAjrcQEB4bbN
以上的思考看似複雜,其實只花了林輩零點零零一秒。畢竟做編輯這一行的,除了要反應迅速,隨時應付作者的哭夭;還要一心多用,一邊校稿審稿兼退稿,自然鍛鍊出靈敏的大腦。27Please respect copyright.PENANAdRWLdQwq6i
27Please respect copyright.PENANARByugPUMUg
流浪者基地出產,品質保證,僅此一家!27Please respect copyright.PENANAIXCGGBOuaB
27Please respect copyright.PENANAx2zHwnBrKX
所以林輩很快的確定,在還未謀殺掉Boss之前,他差點被自家公司的樓梯給謀殺了。27Please respect copyright.PENANAp7jyODQFt8
27Please respect copyright.PENANArhe1nIEWoW
值得慶幸的是,差一點並不代表既定事實。因此林輩才能一邊按著剛才被羊子小姐踩住的胯下哀哀叫,一邊姿勢怪異的走進廁所裡。27Please respect copyright.PENANAouhejMg8Pq
27Please respect copyright.PENANAAVzlk8qCrJ
花了數分鐘不到的時間,林輩很快地就將儀容打點完畢。正當他一臉清爽地踏出來時,頓時遇倒了表情比他更清爽、更春風滿面的邊集同事。27Please respect copyright.PENANAcytC2BeI6R
27Please respect copyright.PENANAs3nlXEP5Jn
下一秒,林輩的臉色由紅轉白,由白轉青,再由青轉黑,驗證了人類的臉孔可以變化出多種色差的真理。然後再下下一秒,渾然不知道自己踩到林輩地雷的邊集,露出爽朗的微笑。27Please respect copyright.PENANAU1A38MIuTT
27Please respect copyright.PENANA1nyQY0KN6m
「早安啊,林輩,昨天真是一個美妙的晚上啊。」27Please respect copyright.PENANAzGXftH4qXz
27Please respect copyright.PENANAXNSzgG4Uqy
幹!老子都撞暈了哪裡美妙!27Please respect copyright.PENANAYJyUos5ipS
27Please respect copyright.PENANA2EbDLdIQuJ
「噢,看你的表情,讓我猜猜……娜娜芭計畫應該是失敗了。」27Please respect copyright.PENANAS9VRrHZPPK
27Please respect copyright.PENANAEAlnotaaiy
林輩的嘴角開始抽搐。馬的,死邊集,連計畫名字都搞錯,讓那個狗屁的芭娜娜計畫見鬼去吧!27Please respect copyright.PENANAtWF0C7UGOd
27Please respect copyright.PENANAJKHkDuItXI
「沒關係,林輩,失敗為成功之母。身為你最忠心的好友,我已經替你想了另外一個點子,就叫做──Zzz大作戰。」27Please respect copyright.PENANA39BgDsQdEn
27Please respect copyright.PENANATrt5zCEdWT
林輩的表情扭曲,手指忍不住折得喀喀作響。他嚴重懷疑,邊集昨天的所作所為,只是為了得到羊子小姐的香蕉皮。27Please respect copyright.PENANAvfj5ItMiVw
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恭喜你,邊集同事,你成功得到了香蕉皮,但是你的HP值將在今天減到最低,因為勇者林輩已經要對你使出大絕招了。27Please respect copyright.PENANAordG0D5xvW
27Please respect copyright.PENANASpA7Oi8sQH
熟悉的碰碰聲再次從廁所傳出來,流浪者基地的其餘員工見怪不怪的繼續打卡上班。反正不管是男廁或女廁,每隔幾天都會聽到類似的聲音,差別在於聲音有大有小而已。27Please respect copyright.PENANAiHJrH4b6J2
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整了整衣領,林輩神清氣爽地步出廁所,身後則是掛著兩隻黑眼圈、哼哼哈哈哀叫的邊集。27Please respect copyright.PENANAJTQUizDrp5
27Please respect copyright.PENANAFYgncFn9S6
「好了,現在讓我們談談,剛剛的英文大小寫是怎麼回事?」林輩雙手環胸,將身體的大半重量靠在飲水機上。27Please respect copyright.PENANAt5KmFW48s3
27Please respect copyright.PENANAhiuNQHCFRF
「就是Zzz啊……」邊集滿臉的委曲。「漫畫上不是都喜歡用這三個英文字表示睡覺的意思。」27Please respect copyright.PENANA3PK8BiiqWc
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「老子當然知道那是睡覺的符──」27Please respect copyright.PENANAl48yLnLJZs
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最後一個「號」字還卡在喉嚨,林輩的表情突然綻放出明亮的色彩,他站直身子,以著全新的目光打量邊集。27Please respect copyright.PENANA8gb7UN5l3w
27Please respect copyright.PENANAeIOYhePRt0
「喔喔,邊集吾友,你說的Zzz大作戰,該不會就是很邪惡地在咖啡裡下安眠藥,然後再很邪惡地把對方打包帶走的方法?」27Please respect copyright.PENANA5KsjE6Iw1L
27Please respect copyright.PENANApNZStldobh
「林輩吾友,請你不要一直加上『很邪惡』三個字,我不想再被羊子小姐誤會。就算我真的有動過這個念頭,但我還是沒有徹底的實施。」邊集義正詞嚴的開口。27Please respect copyright.PENANA7dbFEgi3g7
27Please respect copyright.PENANAiLRSNBM8XX
「意思就是你曾經實施到一半?」林輩投以懷疑的目光。「廢話少說,安眠藥給我。」他伸出手,一隻眼睛催促著邊集快拿出安眠藥,一隻眼睛則是留意著大門的動靜。27Please respect copyright.PENANATClYzXdMWS
27Please respect copyright.PENANA2FTYQHAO1t
「記得不要用太多喔,我只剩下這一小罐而已。」從口袋裡拿出標籤上寫有三鹿牌奶精的小瓶子,邊集再三囑咐著。27Please respect copyright.PENANAg7lamhnWQR
27Please respect copyright.PENANAaxoudtAbOl
「喂喂,你確定沒拿錯嗎?」林輩的手停在半空中,露出強烈的質疑。27Please respect copyright.PENANArbSMxLrkXm
27Please respect copyright.PENANAEcuFkxr8y3
「沒錯啊,我特地找了一個奶精的瓶子來裝,為的就是避人耳目。你想想,當Boss要下班之前,你替他泡了一杯咖啡,有咖啡當然要加奶精,這很合理吧?然後你端著這一杯咖啡進辦公室,大家自然就不會想到,那其實是一杯加了安眠藥的咖啡。」27Please respect copyright.PENANAbstbLphlIa
27Please respect copyright.PENANAU4Tl4s4GcQ
「嗯,你說的很有道理。」林輩停在半空中的手繼續前進,將那瓶三鹿牌奶精握在手裡,眼中燃起了勢在必得的火焰。27Please respect copyright.PENANAzcmfx2Rghu
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從那堅定的目光中,清楚顯示了八個大字:不成功,便揍死邊集。27Please respect copyright.PENANAhpWYnw8sbf
27Please respect copyright.PENANAsgY1FEHWKK