【第四章 還是前置作業1】28Please respect copyright.PENANAdA12yxwjRG
28Please respect copyright.PENANAh0leSNQf1c
28Please respect copyright.PENANAqDTuEVUG09
「林輩,林輩……」28Please respect copyright.PENANA47Y75ecSIa
28Please respect copyright.PENANAx5Ie6Rsoau
有什麼聲音在耳邊嗡嗡的作響,吵得林輩下意識就揮出一巴掌。馬的,老子在睡覺,吵什麼吵啊!28Please respect copyright.PENANAh0v5q7c2HK
28Please respect copyright.PENANAC71WtCsTgz
啪!清脆的一聲,終止了林輩身體被搖晃的動作。正當林輩準備安心地和某位周先生再來摸個十圈八圈,看能不能摸出國士無雙的好牌時,一陣劇烈的疼痛猛地從他的下半身傳來。28Please respect copyright.PENANAsgLwziZK5T
28Please respect copyright.PENANA0SEVIuYM8u
「啊啊啊啊啊啊!!!!!」28Please respect copyright.PENANAkvFMogeHEh
28Please respect copyright.PENANAAajFxUt5iI
什麼國士無雙,什麼槓上開花,全部被林輩丟到腦後。原本垂在嘴角的口水囌地吸了回去,林輩兩隻手按著下體,臉孔扭曲地從地上蹦了起來,變形拔高的慘叫迴盪在樓梯口,久久不散。28Please respect copyright.PENANAYa7reJUQ0p
28Please respect copyright.PENANAmqkBfTbSFM
「清醒了嗎?」彷彿結成冰塊的聲音,由上而下的砸了下來。28Please respect copyright.PENANAAxrbkiDClS
28Please respect copyright.PENANAGTc0bMYvRn
林輩張大一雙滿是血絲的眼,狼狽地抬起頭。首先映入眼簾的,是一雙穿著牛仔短褲的修長美腿,那白皙的腳掌踩著六公分高的高跟鞋,細長的鞋跟輕輕敲擊著地面,強烈宣示出存在感。28Please respect copyright.PENANAzpGFXMq0Zt
28Please respect copyright.PENANA6NcocNAoOL
林輩的視線再往上移,纖細的腰身,清涼的細肩帶打扮:不怒而威的瓜子臉上,兩道柳眉倒豎。然後,林輩看見對方的右頰上是一記殷紅的五爪痕。28Please respect copyright.PENANA0Yd4SZ621G
28Please respect copyright.PENANAi7kQMBAg6p
幹!不會那麼衰吧?!林輩按著胯下,膽戰心驚地退了一步。他的眼角餘光偷偷地瞄了一下六公分長的鞋跟,完全不用判斷,用雞雞想就知道,那鞋根是活生生的兇器啊!!28Please respect copyright.PENANA7BoZnE33ir
28Please respect copyright.PENANAZbXodx6K7Z
「林輩先生,你打得很順嘛?」羊子小姐摸了一下還在發燙的右頰,陰惻惻地笑了起來。28Please respect copyright.PENANAnskgkDRZr5
28Please respect copyright.PENANAJ7kHfgLPPX
林輩聽見背景音樂瞬間切換成大白鯊主題曲。28Please respect copyright.PENANACibFIIkAaA
28Please respect copyright.PENANAlXhVkbsI11
「信不信我下一次可以讓你直接──」羊子小姐的高跟鞋敲了敲地面,發出清脆的聲音,百分百的威脅。28Please respect copyright.PENANAT3xKGrrY3n
28Please respect copyright.PENANAywg1JY9ofD
「信……我信……」林輩的聲音幾乎都在抖了,抖出了不成調的花腔女高音。他的胯下痛得要死,在在提醒他,只要羊子小姐再使勁一些,就可以讓他的蛋白質製造量減少成百分之一。28Please respect copyright.PENANA5wr6SkL2eO
28Please respect copyright.PENANAzHqgBW87fA
「既然現在清醒了,就趕快去廁所洗把臉。你這副模樣,嘖嘖……」羊子小姐上上下下地打量林輩一番,憐憫地搖搖頭。28Please respect copyright.PENANAESgymI0Orv
28Please respect copyright.PENANAEV8fJbDXXD
等一下,那充滿同情的眼神是怎麼回事?林輩繼續按著胯下,一邊移動著腳步遠離羊子小姐,一邊努力的回想著。28Please respect copyright.PENANAZCewpoTEFq
28Please respect copyright.PENANAPSthgdj4be
林輩記得,昨天執行的芭娜娜計畫宣告失敗,努力搜集的香蕉皮完全沒派上用場,Boss就直接搭電梯沙喲娜啦了。他原本預定是要衝去邊集家中練一下人形沙包的手感,但是卻腳下一滑,先是來了個華麗的前空翻,再來個漂亮的三百六十度大翻滾,最後以一記青蛙墜地勢,驗證了流浪者基地樓梯的兇名遠播,絕非虛傳。28Please respect copyright.PENANAwn4KthUT9y
28Please respect copyright.PENANAzHLccvAqNn
以上的思考看似複雜,其實只花了林輩零點零零一秒。畢竟做編輯這一行的,除了要反應迅速,隨時應付作者的哭夭;還要一心多用,一邊校稿審稿兼退稿,自然鍛鍊出靈敏的大腦。28Please respect copyright.PENANA5q6W8R8TN2
28Please respect copyright.PENANAQCmJLWURxg
流浪者基地出產,品質保證,僅此一家!28Please respect copyright.PENANAF1ItyJb3QG
28Please respect copyright.PENANAoGBemj8wvq
所以林輩很快的確定,在還未謀殺掉Boss之前,他差點被自家公司的樓梯給謀殺了。28Please respect copyright.PENANAy577zLhFqi
28Please respect copyright.PENANAFbUYn19p2J
值得慶幸的是,差一點並不代表既定事實。因此林輩才能一邊按著剛才被羊子小姐踩住的胯下哀哀叫,一邊姿勢怪異的走進廁所裡。28Please respect copyright.PENANA1RZonh1KPh
28Please respect copyright.PENANAsbyt8JWfBL
花了數分鐘不到的時間,林輩很快地就將儀容打點完畢。正當他一臉清爽地踏出來時,頓時遇倒了表情比他更清爽、更春風滿面的邊集同事。28Please respect copyright.PENANA6v0ALHmFlR
28Please respect copyright.PENANAtDwinjpl8g
下一秒,林輩的臉色由紅轉白,由白轉青,再由青轉黑,驗證了人類的臉孔可以變化出多種色差的真理。然後再下下一秒,渾然不知道自己踩到林輩地雷的邊集,露出爽朗的微笑。28Please respect copyright.PENANAHhueolRkbp
28Please respect copyright.PENANA0MphkfCyCu
「早安啊,林輩,昨天真是一個美妙的晚上啊。」28Please respect copyright.PENANAQZm29aHXMz
28Please respect copyright.PENANAxiZiJaf2G9
幹!老子都撞暈了哪裡美妙!28Please respect copyright.PENANA4lLCZHl7ap
28Please respect copyright.PENANASJJmCzNJBG
「噢,看你的表情,讓我猜猜……娜娜芭計畫應該是失敗了。」28Please respect copyright.PENANANnB5A2B4co
28Please respect copyright.PENANAENkaLPWhMs
林輩的嘴角開始抽搐。馬的,死邊集,連計畫名字都搞錯,讓那個狗屁的芭娜娜計畫見鬼去吧!28Please respect copyright.PENANAZjqMExZrBX
28Please respect copyright.PENANAtPXTZ0N3g6
「沒關係,林輩,失敗為成功之母。身為你最忠心的好友,我已經替你想了另外一個點子,就叫做──Zzz大作戰。」28Please respect copyright.PENANAtOnXo0jJzZ
28Please respect copyright.PENANAmcLuWRrbmX
林輩的表情扭曲,手指忍不住折得喀喀作響。他嚴重懷疑,邊集昨天的所作所為,只是為了得到羊子小姐的香蕉皮。28Please respect copyright.PENANAea6AllP0jz
28Please respect copyright.PENANAgaKE4bLcET
恭喜你,邊集同事,你成功得到了香蕉皮,但是你的HP值將在今天減到最低,因為勇者林輩已經要對你使出大絕招了。28Please respect copyright.PENANAljkmvnbanl
28Please respect copyright.PENANAWCnmtkBI9S
熟悉的碰碰聲再次從廁所傳出來,流浪者基地的其餘員工見怪不怪的繼續打卡上班。反正不管是男廁或女廁,每隔幾天都會聽到類似的聲音,差別在於聲音有大有小而已。28Please respect copyright.PENANAWGlA1BGwfy
28Please respect copyright.PENANAkmRbWjObBr
整了整衣領,林輩神清氣爽地步出廁所,身後則是掛著兩隻黑眼圈、哼哼哈哈哀叫的邊集。28Please respect copyright.PENANAxKFpZb7m6C
28Please respect copyright.PENANAc26w84gEdN
「好了,現在讓我們談談,剛剛的英文大小寫是怎麼回事?」林輩雙手環胸,將身體的大半重量靠在飲水機上。28Please respect copyright.PENANAkmxc0IPq4G
28Please respect copyright.PENANArtjyxnZPtS
「就是Zzz啊……」邊集滿臉的委曲。「漫畫上不是都喜歡用這三個英文字表示睡覺的意思。」28Please respect copyright.PENANAa99uC0YrI7
28Please respect copyright.PENANAzge5n4Bm0N
「老子當然知道那是睡覺的符──」28Please respect copyright.PENANAWIzzoRbpBx
28Please respect copyright.PENANAORjghCy3qM
最後一個「號」字還卡在喉嚨,林輩的表情突然綻放出明亮的色彩,他站直身子,以著全新的目光打量邊集。28Please respect copyright.PENANAfWoU2ZzNCZ
28Please respect copyright.PENANAiUlOgM5hNX
「喔喔,邊集吾友,你說的Zzz大作戰,該不會就是很邪惡地在咖啡裡下安眠藥,然後再很邪惡地把對方打包帶走的方法?」28Please respect copyright.PENANA5F0PXXaY8o
28Please respect copyright.PENANA4iZdyIcrfk
「林輩吾友,請你不要一直加上『很邪惡』三個字,我不想再被羊子小姐誤會。就算我真的有動過這個念頭,但我還是沒有徹底的實施。」邊集義正詞嚴的開口。28Please respect copyright.PENANAjJLnS4Br0C
28Please respect copyright.PENANAOvpuyJDbGp
「意思就是你曾經實施到一半?」林輩投以懷疑的目光。「廢話少說,安眠藥給我。」他伸出手,一隻眼睛催促著邊集快拿出安眠藥,一隻眼睛則是留意著大門的動靜。28Please respect copyright.PENANA5utetwiKLd
28Please respect copyright.PENANAlZpU1t3Mwx
「記得不要用太多喔,我只剩下這一小罐而已。」從口袋裡拿出標籤上寫有三鹿牌奶精的小瓶子,邊集再三囑咐著。28Please respect copyright.PENANAMGWjVNuO1P
28Please respect copyright.PENANAZrKkAgYTsV
「喂喂,你確定沒拿錯嗎?」林輩的手停在半空中,露出強烈的質疑。28Please respect copyright.PENANA1bWMS1g0sU
28Please respect copyright.PENANADavQXndnWR
「沒錯啊,我特地找了一個奶精的瓶子來裝,為的就是避人耳目。你想想,當Boss要下班之前,你替他泡了一杯咖啡,有咖啡當然要加奶精,這很合理吧?然後你端著這一杯咖啡進辦公室,大家自然就不會想到,那其實是一杯加了安眠藥的咖啡。」28Please respect copyright.PENANAWkSNFPnH5m
28Please respect copyright.PENANAN1ekroYjOc
「嗯,你說的很有道理。」林輩停在半空中的手繼續前進,將那瓶三鹿牌奶精握在手裡,眼中燃起了勢在必得的火焰。28Please respect copyright.PENANAaDIYFvfevr
28Please respect copyright.PENANAXSGbh9IEGe
從那堅定的目光中,清楚顯示了八個大字:不成功,便揍死邊集。28Please respect copyright.PENANAK6OtOqQPKJ
28Please respect copyright.PENANAFOv4ae0PIn
ns18.222.153.166da2 28Please respect copyright.PENANAh0leSNQf1c
28Please respect copyright.PENANAqDTuEVUG09
「林輩,林輩……」28Please respect copyright.PENANA47Y75ecSIa
28Please respect copyright.PENANAx5Ie6Rsoau
有什麼聲音在耳邊嗡嗡的作響,吵得林輩下意識就揮出一巴掌。馬的,老子在睡覺,吵什麼吵啊!28Please respect copyright.PENANAh0v5q7c2HK
28Please respect copyright.PENANAC71WtCsTgz
啪!清脆的一聲,終止了林輩身體被搖晃的動作。正當林輩準備安心地和某位周先生再來摸個十圈八圈,看能不能摸出國士無雙的好牌時,一陣劇烈的疼痛猛地從他的下半身傳來。28Please respect copyright.PENANAsgLwziZK5T
28Please respect copyright.PENANA0SEVIuYM8u
「啊啊啊啊啊啊!!!!!」28Please respect copyright.PENANAkvFMogeHEh
28Please respect copyright.PENANAAajFxUt5iI
什麼國士無雙,什麼槓上開花,全部被林輩丟到腦後。原本垂在嘴角的口水囌地吸了回去,林輩兩隻手按著下體,臉孔扭曲地從地上蹦了起來,變形拔高的慘叫迴盪在樓梯口,久久不散。28Please respect copyright.PENANAYa7reJUQ0p
28Please respect copyright.PENANAmqkBfTbSFM
「清醒了嗎?」彷彿結成冰塊的聲音,由上而下的砸了下來。28Please respect copyright.PENANAAxrbkiDClS
28Please respect copyright.PENANAGTc0bMYvRn
林輩張大一雙滿是血絲的眼,狼狽地抬起頭。首先映入眼簾的,是一雙穿著牛仔短褲的修長美腿,那白皙的腳掌踩著六公分高的高跟鞋,細長的鞋跟輕輕敲擊著地面,強烈宣示出存在感。28Please respect copyright.PENANAzpGFXMq0Zt
28Please respect copyright.PENANA6NcocNAoOL
林輩的視線再往上移,纖細的腰身,清涼的細肩帶打扮:不怒而威的瓜子臉上,兩道柳眉倒豎。然後,林輩看見對方的右頰上是一記殷紅的五爪痕。28Please respect copyright.PENANA0Yd4SZ621G
28Please respect copyright.PENANAi7kQMBAg6p
幹!不會那麼衰吧?!林輩按著胯下,膽戰心驚地退了一步。他的眼角餘光偷偷地瞄了一下六公分長的鞋跟,完全不用判斷,用雞雞想就知道,那鞋根是活生生的兇器啊!!28Please respect copyright.PENANA7BoZnE33ir
28Please respect copyright.PENANAZbXodx6K7Z
「林輩先生,你打得很順嘛?」羊子小姐摸了一下還在發燙的右頰,陰惻惻地笑了起來。28Please respect copyright.PENANAnskgkDRZr5
28Please respect copyright.PENANAJ7kHfgLPPX
林輩聽見背景音樂瞬間切換成大白鯊主題曲。28Please respect copyright.PENANACibFIIkAaA
28Please respect copyright.PENANAlXhVkbsI11
「信不信我下一次可以讓你直接──」羊子小姐的高跟鞋敲了敲地面,發出清脆的聲音,百分百的威脅。28Please respect copyright.PENANAT3xKGrrY3n
28Please respect copyright.PENANAywg1JY9ofD
「信……我信……」林輩的聲音幾乎都在抖了,抖出了不成調的花腔女高音。他的胯下痛得要死,在在提醒他,只要羊子小姐再使勁一些,就可以讓他的蛋白質製造量減少成百分之一。28Please respect copyright.PENANA5wr6SkL2eO
28Please respect copyright.PENANAzHqgBW87fA
「既然現在清醒了,就趕快去廁所洗把臉。你這副模樣,嘖嘖……」羊子小姐上上下下地打量林輩一番,憐憫地搖搖頭。28Please respect copyright.PENANAESgymI0Orv
28Please respect copyright.PENANAEV8fJbDXXD
等一下,那充滿同情的眼神是怎麼回事?林輩繼續按著胯下,一邊移動著腳步遠離羊子小姐,一邊努力的回想著。28Please respect copyright.PENANAZCewpoTEFq
28Please respect copyright.PENANAPSthgdj4be
林輩記得,昨天執行的芭娜娜計畫宣告失敗,努力搜集的香蕉皮完全沒派上用場,Boss就直接搭電梯沙喲娜啦了。他原本預定是要衝去邊集家中練一下人形沙包的手感,但是卻腳下一滑,先是來了個華麗的前空翻,再來個漂亮的三百六十度大翻滾,最後以一記青蛙墜地勢,驗證了流浪者基地樓梯的兇名遠播,絕非虛傳。28Please respect copyright.PENANAwn4KthUT9y
28Please respect copyright.PENANAzHLccvAqNn
以上的思考看似複雜,其實只花了林輩零點零零一秒。畢竟做編輯這一行的,除了要反應迅速,隨時應付作者的哭夭;還要一心多用,一邊校稿審稿兼退稿,自然鍛鍊出靈敏的大腦。28Please respect copyright.PENANA5q6W8R8TN2
28Please respect copyright.PENANAQCmJLWURxg
流浪者基地出產,品質保證,僅此一家!28Please respect copyright.PENANAF1ItyJb3QG
28Please respect copyright.PENANAoGBemj8wvq
所以林輩很快的確定,在還未謀殺掉Boss之前,他差點被自家公司的樓梯給謀殺了。28Please respect copyright.PENANAy577zLhFqi
28Please respect copyright.PENANAFbUYn19p2J
值得慶幸的是,差一點並不代表既定事實。因此林輩才能一邊按著剛才被羊子小姐踩住的胯下哀哀叫,一邊姿勢怪異的走進廁所裡。28Please respect copyright.PENANA1RZonh1KPh
28Please respect copyright.PENANAsbyt8JWfBL
花了數分鐘不到的時間,林輩很快地就將儀容打點完畢。正當他一臉清爽地踏出來時,頓時遇倒了表情比他更清爽、更春風滿面的邊集同事。28Please respect copyright.PENANA6v0ALHmFlR
28Please respect copyright.PENANAtDwinjpl8g
下一秒,林輩的臉色由紅轉白,由白轉青,再由青轉黑,驗證了人類的臉孔可以變化出多種色差的真理。然後再下下一秒,渾然不知道自己踩到林輩地雷的邊集,露出爽朗的微笑。28Please respect copyright.PENANAHhueolRkbp
28Please respect copyright.PENANA0MphkfCyCu
「早安啊,林輩,昨天真是一個美妙的晚上啊。」28Please respect copyright.PENANAQZm29aHXMz
28Please respect copyright.PENANAxiZiJaf2G9
幹!老子都撞暈了哪裡美妙!28Please respect copyright.PENANA4lLCZHl7ap
28Please respect copyright.PENANASJJmCzNJBG
「噢,看你的表情,讓我猜猜……娜娜芭計畫應該是失敗了。」28Please respect copyright.PENANANnB5A2B4co
28Please respect copyright.PENANAENkaLPWhMs
林輩的嘴角開始抽搐。馬的,死邊集,連計畫名字都搞錯,讓那個狗屁的芭娜娜計畫見鬼去吧!28Please respect copyright.PENANAZjqMExZrBX
28Please respect copyright.PENANAtPXTZ0N3g6
「沒關係,林輩,失敗為成功之母。身為你最忠心的好友,我已經替你想了另外一個點子,就叫做──Zzz大作戰。」28Please respect copyright.PENANAtOnXo0jJzZ
28Please respect copyright.PENANAmcLuWRrbmX
林輩的表情扭曲,手指忍不住折得喀喀作響。他嚴重懷疑,邊集昨天的所作所為,只是為了得到羊子小姐的香蕉皮。28Please respect copyright.PENANAea6AllP0jz
28Please respect copyright.PENANAgaKE4bLcET
恭喜你,邊集同事,你成功得到了香蕉皮,但是你的HP值將在今天減到最低,因為勇者林輩已經要對你使出大絕招了。28Please respect copyright.PENANAljkmvnbanl
28Please respect copyright.PENANAWCnmtkBI9S
熟悉的碰碰聲再次從廁所傳出來,流浪者基地的其餘員工見怪不怪的繼續打卡上班。反正不管是男廁或女廁,每隔幾天都會聽到類似的聲音,差別在於聲音有大有小而已。28Please respect copyright.PENANAWGlA1BGwfy
28Please respect copyright.PENANAkmRbWjObBr
整了整衣領,林輩神清氣爽地步出廁所,身後則是掛著兩隻黑眼圈、哼哼哈哈哀叫的邊集。28Please respect copyright.PENANAxKFpZb7m6C
28Please respect copyright.PENANAc26w84gEdN
「好了,現在讓我們談談,剛剛的英文大小寫是怎麼回事?」林輩雙手環胸,將身體的大半重量靠在飲水機上。28Please respect copyright.PENANAkmxc0IPq4G
28Please respect copyright.PENANArtjyxnZPtS
「就是Zzz啊……」邊集滿臉的委曲。「漫畫上不是都喜歡用這三個英文字表示睡覺的意思。」28Please respect copyright.PENANAa99uC0YrI7
28Please respect copyright.PENANAzge5n4Bm0N
「老子當然知道那是睡覺的符──」28Please respect copyright.PENANAWIzzoRbpBx
28Please respect copyright.PENANAORjghCy3qM
最後一個「號」字還卡在喉嚨,林輩的表情突然綻放出明亮的色彩,他站直身子,以著全新的目光打量邊集。28Please respect copyright.PENANAfWoU2ZzNCZ
28Please respect copyright.PENANAiUlOgM5hNX
「喔喔,邊集吾友,你說的Zzz大作戰,該不會就是很邪惡地在咖啡裡下安眠藥,然後再很邪惡地把對方打包帶走的方法?」28Please respect copyright.PENANA5F0PXXaY8o
28Please respect copyright.PENANA4iZdyIcrfk
「林輩吾友,請你不要一直加上『很邪惡』三個字,我不想再被羊子小姐誤會。就算我真的有動過這個念頭,但我還是沒有徹底的實施。」邊集義正詞嚴的開口。28Please respect copyright.PENANAjJLnS4Br0C
28Please respect copyright.PENANAOvpuyJDbGp
「意思就是你曾經實施到一半?」林輩投以懷疑的目光。「廢話少說,安眠藥給我。」他伸出手,一隻眼睛催促著邊集快拿出安眠藥,一隻眼睛則是留意著大門的動靜。28Please respect copyright.PENANA5utetwiKLd
28Please respect copyright.PENANAlZpU1t3Mwx
「記得不要用太多喔,我只剩下這一小罐而已。」從口袋裡拿出標籤上寫有三鹿牌奶精的小瓶子,邊集再三囑咐著。28Please respect copyright.PENANAMGWjVNuO1P
28Please respect copyright.PENANAZrKkAgYTsV
「喂喂,你確定沒拿錯嗎?」林輩的手停在半空中,露出強烈的質疑。28Please respect copyright.PENANA1bWMS1g0sU
28Please respect copyright.PENANADavQXndnWR
「沒錯啊,我特地找了一個奶精的瓶子來裝,為的就是避人耳目。你想想,當Boss要下班之前,你替他泡了一杯咖啡,有咖啡當然要加奶精,這很合理吧?然後你端著這一杯咖啡進辦公室,大家自然就不會想到,那其實是一杯加了安眠藥的咖啡。」28Please respect copyright.PENANAWkSNFPnH5m
28Please respect copyright.PENANAN1ekroYjOc
「嗯,你說的很有道理。」林輩停在半空中的手繼續前進,將那瓶三鹿牌奶精握在手裡,眼中燃起了勢在必得的火焰。28Please respect copyright.PENANAaDIYFvfevr
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從那堅定的目光中,清楚顯示了八個大字:不成功,便揍死邊集。28Please respect copyright.PENANAK6OtOqQPKJ
28Please respect copyright.PENANAFOv4ae0PIn