很久很久沒有寫文章了。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQy20bkwpa
就像之前短篇的敘事，並非是美好而溫馨的。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCeywUscxC
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『世界上最遙遠的距離』70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDyFxVPCcZ
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所以我看著你對著別人露出，那不再屬於我的笑容。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpzOpEllxP
在你身後的我咬唇，轉身離開了那裡。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgdVD7x2JX
不能後悔。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwlV2pPxar
不能怨恨。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAxgWcnZ84
不能再想。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCLEAik9kw
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因為。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu64mk2w6UC
是我先推開了你給予我的擁抱。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFllpEXXraY
拒絕了你對我的情感。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGGQwymGYq
忽視了你眼底的情慾。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCNUY07zJR
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsu2Xw32IMK
因此。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKOGXZTy1F
我怎麼能哭泣。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7d6LzlRUHM
我怎麼能悔恨。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjy5OJxvAYq
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因為是我自己造成這一切的啊。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPlD0wlCfzm
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4AJf7EgBig
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「明明做那樣選擇的是自己，可為什麼還是感到了悔恨。」70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPU0cIc9aKr
「拒絕了你之後才愛上你。」70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vSCzVoLpq
「這樣的我令人厭惡。」70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4UnEg13cN
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*70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYfLAcfMHb
錯過與放棄。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDfVsNZGM4
於是悔恨交織。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JT2DNO80k
如果雙方都互相喜歡，但在不對的時間說了同樣的話，那麼結局終究也只是失去。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREmYbzkX08
但造成這種局面的卻是自己。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSAtUAqKSn
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『If……』70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsYIvPj315
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基爾伯特忽然頓住，熱燙的淚液毫無預警的自他頰面滑下，五臟六腑彷彿抽離血液似的，壓迫他喉嚨，使他急促地呼吸著。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjEjtAcJES
半晌，在這沒有任何人存在的家中，他漸漸地停止了哭泣。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnkFYvNRp9
望著淌滿自己體液的手，基爾伯特緩緩勾起一抹笑，眼裡模糊成晶亮的光景，閃爍著鑽石色彩。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAsOmCjO5O
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如果任何淚水都是有理由的話。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTVBknhUNl
那麼，基爾伯特兀自忖思，他這種毫無緣由乍然傾瀉的疼痛，又代表著什麼。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvREhEREdUI
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*70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6OPEg97re
寫完後，友人看完之後畫了r18的圖........為什麼會是這種感想呢？（苦笑70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPUHoj7F9n
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『給十年後未來的你』70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGK5J5vBNJ
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『WEST！我們到樹下埋寶藏吧！』70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4xTMk9w2e
活在記憶中地嗓音依然清晰如昨。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRjcjh14WLb
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyydkpnwSRa
那時才剛結束分裂局面，國內一切都不穩固，有天兄長忽然很開心的拉著他手徑往外衝，手裡還拿著一罐玻璃瓶，透明的瓶子可見折半的白紙。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4xdlGJTJV
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『你要記得十年之後再打開喔。』70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEX4B9EFNY
那天午後的天氣十分的溫暖，沐浴在彷佛受神祝福的光輝下，由於掘土而整張臉髒呼呼的兄長掛著笑容，一邊叮囑著他。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DxBvfeIfF
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那時他究竟回答了些什麼呢……？70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0LhONx6WF
至今回想卻支離破碎。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIr6god9Fu
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唯一記得的是在那一場日光中，他眼淚似乎就要因為日光而融化出眼眶的疼痛。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1nRZRnTkR
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如果存在的奇跡是真的存在的話。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQodALQN48X
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那麼，那一天之後就是盡頭了吧。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQnuoIAhMi
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早就該死亡了。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqEkBo8aq6
早就該離開了。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsuMKrk7Yy
早就……70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEZyIoVr9f
早就什麼也無法碰觸了……70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWQIOt3jTE
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重逢後的每一天清晨醒來看見兄長安然無恙的睡躺在他身旁時都是奇跡。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEgRYW16ZC
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他們能夠的相處的時間那麼少，少到讓他後悔莫及。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiy4uo1fjZv
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為什麼不早這樣做呢……70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCX3fTMRCM
為什麼不能忍耐呢……70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFr0v1ED5W
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一個失去人民與國土的國家，究竟能走到什麼地步……70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4V5v2umv8q
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『不要哭。』70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Pr2E6Q34b
最後，兄長只是這麼說。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyybnB3IjCj
在風雪漸大的夜裡，在背後閃耀著五顏六色的煙花中這般輕喃。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SN27hEBKD
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那之後他仍舊過著一樣的日子。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgA5xdGXdh
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只是再也沒有人在家裡等他，再也沒有人在耳邊吵鬧。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF23uzrnLJy
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到底過了多久呢？70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdrsLva6pA
也許久到他連幾年都不記得了吧。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFpvuGHJT6s
他總是覺得兄長還存在在任何地方，只是他找不到罷了。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqPExJYVc9C
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於是忽然那麼一天他想起那一個寶物。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwNcR1SL68
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當時候的他寫了給未來的信件，那麼兄長一定也寫了什麼吧……70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4EnOldxUm
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他拼命的挖土。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOHdSDZnKs
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不過幾分，鐵制的蓋子便從泥裡翻出。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqYfb4dnAI
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他費力的扭轉生銹的圓蓋，然後拿出放在裡面的信件。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡym9LsZenqY
他第一個就翻開了兄長的信件，想看看兄長寫了什麼，卻愕然的啞口。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmart8hzw1
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那是一面白紙。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyoKRvKS38
由於在土裡待著，染上了土黃的 斑點。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTohL4MaNdt
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上頭甚麼也沒有寫。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyfEz6AFnO
空白的，就像不曾有筆跡存在過。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80CCpRY80Y
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『不要哭。』腦裡不斷地迴響著兄長的聲音。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qoBMRtG0E
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他臉上卻佈滿了淚痕。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2dxTleyMn
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*********70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8T0AjGdAzR
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看新聞有感。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5qbjQhGoA
新聞描述的非常哀傷，但我卻想到會不會是因為埋的人早就知道自己不存於世所以什麼也不寫，因為已經沒有未來了。所以寫甚麼都只是惘然。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbzBlE4p1a
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「關於雪的聯想」70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvXt5zNe29
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關於雪的記憶，充滿著童話與火爐，天冷時的熱飲，依偎在你懷裡聽著你美好的聲音。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEf7YCFuvjW
那時總是小，張著眼只注視得到你，伸出手也只能觸碰到你滿佈繭的掌。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSO5i94zik
乾澀的，卻熱和著。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZCYA5nuT1
『你聽』70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutfMMtTnqC
你抱著我幼小的身軀，指腹抹過窗戶。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWZOGCvHgW
『雪聲落下來時候，是像這樣，一閃一閃的響著喔』70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0dlxmysjT
室內的火材劈啪地冒出零星火花。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzmbwa2xkn
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『踏雪無聲』70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5dSm7eiJB
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乍然寂靜無聲。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQMwTbXN84
路德維希倏地轉身，一片銀白雪亮，折射著夜裡的月色，令人刺目。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdi2D8BGop
他張大眼，張口不能言。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RcSl7hVOp
方才和他說話的兄長消失的無影無蹤，明明還有餘溫的聲音，卻消失了，而在他身後蜿蜒的只有他一個人的足跡。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2Tr848Pn3
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「遙遠的童話故事」70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVThWGvMRH
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第一次看完索多瑪的120天的那陣子，只要他每天一想起片段都會忍不住嘔吐，即使他燒了書也無法竭止嘔出穢物的反胃。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3IG7VhFRN
現在他已經想不起故事，彷彿刻意消除痕跡似的，除了殘留在口腔裡膽汁的回憶之外，他腦中裡沒有任何關於故事的字句。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8kMSnYnzV
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可即使一切什麼也不記得，但那種深深地醜陋情感卻扎根在他身體各位，完全無法擺脫。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmtyaI1zWl
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0770Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRpN6o75ct
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『請幸福的……』70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInSYXG8MXA
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmk6tsi9on
如果那一天到來，不要挽留我。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijHTTudzGT
請你自由的、幸福的跟另外一個人生活下去吧。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XhfsZqVoB
我會在那裏望著你，微笑的，流淚的。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtmqhCD6nx
因為我從來就沒有資格擁有你，我只是自我滿足的活在自己認為的幸福時光裡罷了。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhmieonVii
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKot0a6fYT
奢望什麼的也只是虛幻。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZD7yuuXU6q
我無法相信話語的真實。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnySLXkyHBG
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3f5ZRARY0X
我知道，你愛我。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhNEPfDbPW
可是「我愛你」，這是親人間也會說的話。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcUSxE7qp3
我當然也從你口裡聽到。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkqqrxkECr
在早上醒來時給我的早安吻，在下午你歸來的玄關門口的吻，在夜裡沉睡前的晚安吻。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo42QLUB5ds
你總是會說：「我愛你。」70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Vtb5LQO9T
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAhYBra37L
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是的。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpm6e6PXvPk
你是愛我的，可是你不是愛我的。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26WV30He1b
那並非是我自己誤解。我總是看著你，總是微笑的看著，總是嬉鬧的看著你，總是在戰爭裡看著你。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5SryJj6jg
我無時不刻的看著你。所以很清楚，比你自己還清楚你自己。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARGTI6SRG8
我們之間緊緊聯繫的，不過是名為親情的愛情。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyktCaMNL8a
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLvKF8v6jg
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『後日談』70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZjef4MDue
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「喜歡你喔」他這麼說。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWe2TIGpEIf
他不著痕跡的回望，面前的兄長哼著歌。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHtTfjRWtK
然後他又重複了一次。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUfcXq0EeH
「嗯」即使那是沒有任何感情、單調的話語，只是重複音節發生振動的合成。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkC6gF5vwqq
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57bEFjaHHU
喜歡你喔，所以不會愛你喔。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCG9WtG8PCy
基爾伯特哼著不成調的小曲，臉上滿是笑意。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4MLfGxu9N
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gTJtZQxhm
不知道什麼時候發現到的，可是已經為時已晚，那時兄長早就笑容滿面的將他從愛情裡排拒開。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzZopZUD4n
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0970Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1nGqhVhDcz
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「十年」70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIe9riugnl1
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有一天他從廣播聽見一首來自東方國度的歌，淳厚的男歌手看似平淡的唱著那歌詞。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQFNF0uZEY
曲終時候，他忽然淚流滿面。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8MSlaQB4t
就在他幾乎無法反應的片刻。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2Sj6xfrE0
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqq1AL62UgJ
熱辣的液體不斷從體內湧出，喉嚨彷彿被壓抑著，嘶啞不成調。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOibHIZKpSo
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因為太感同身受了。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlSRyprBWK
他和路德分開的時間以人類而言是那麼久，自然，有很多事情已經不像他記憶那樣的美好。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdBiom7uOu
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKBLOaYlWB
幾十年前他們是兄弟是親人，所以能夠牽手，能夠擁抱，能夠親吻。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibVeRRbxuw
現在，他們仍然是親人、兄弟，可以牽手、擁抱，但卻也沒有親吻過彼此。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlg3l2WcTq
就像是緊守著什麼界線，彼此誰也沒有越過的意思。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEn6QN2Uu5
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDslAXzRQht
只是一廂情願的愛戀罷了。基爾伯特淺笑地望著窗外那一片青空。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCn52K3Slo
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmT0ObQ4AgN
那些在彼此生命裡空白的日子，他就像是戀愛的人一樣，一直渴望著見到他，一直在被剝削的勞力中自我安慰，一直、一直維持著自己的意志，在配合可笑的服從中，盡力維持著自己的意識，也許是曉得一旦遺忘，他就再也不可能回到路德身邊的緣故。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLCP3Gx0jZ
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSLraoWbm8
但像這種自以為是的愛情，怎麼可能會得到相等的回報？70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpkoKSsj1k
他似乎想的太過美好了，就像那道牆破碎以後，就認為一切都可以海闊天空，哪知道，無論在哪都沒有差。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJUvOFuF9z
他始終是，一個人。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95V25Atmav
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjy1ChniL4
他卻天真以為，能夠讓對方愛上自己。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLonGCibXa
明明他們之間除了兄弟的親情之外，什麼也不剩。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJX4KFxhNP
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『 』70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN64febbLTG
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他決定要去旅行。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0xlTe8Bvw
趁著那一天弟弟加班的日子，他簡單收拾了行李，和家裏養著的狗一一道別之後，他關上家門，最後看了一眼他一定不會再開啟的門，而後邁步往街上走去。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzryS4Pxgtj
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKiGwN4KkeT
路德也許會生氣吧。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfB3soEbJXo
基爾伯特悠閒地走在路邊，一邊淡淡想著。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfitDIbATU
不過，他不會解釋的，也不會後悔的。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxYhc2pmH1
哼著不知打哪學會的曲調，午後的陽光撒在他背上，熠熠生輝。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmHlfN27XN
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6YZnisKsS
路德維希一如往常因為加班的緣故晚到了家。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWHLDGigU3
在還沒打開家門口的時候，他還在想要怎麼跟兄長解釋，然後一開門入眼的卻是一整片黑暗。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUsv8SOrQX
他思緒有些混雜的楞在家門口，半晌無法言語。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡenz8GNSKqf
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfA4r8lrfV
家裏養著的三隻狗衝上前趴住他。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsGsSFjEK9
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基爾伯特的身影幾乎消失。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe98HA9cto0
那之後他走遍了住家周圍，甚至在後面幾天不斷搜尋著，用網路、用人力，但是彷彿電腦裡的資料被消除後的乾淨，到處都找不到他的兄長，雖然偶而會接獲零星的消息說在哪有誰曾見過他的行蹤，他也曾前往該地，但一切一切卻像是被嘲笑一樣的徒勞無功。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNvBtJdXd3
他感到十分焦躁，甚至湧上不安的思緒。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9CkJjzO3T
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5UyETIZxeu
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt94mByx2ou
「你有見過這個男人嗎？」70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgS0suYx9m
他在街上隨意攔截了某位路人，並從懷裡掏出那張因為過於頻繁使用充滿皺摺的相片問著對方。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcgdSBPwVo
搖搖頭，被他攔下的人表示從未見過。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jwa9UNNXL
「……謝謝。不好意思，打擾您的時間了。」70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluVhluSay3
也許是疑惑，離開前那路人還頻頻回望他幾眼，大約是在想這人是怪人嘛，尋人這事不是要找警察解決的嗎。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKocTAqzFq
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXijfravOf
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡul5EkN7wT0
他收起相片，忖思。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAJke0uL55
已經找了這麼多年，從那天兄長消失在家中開始，他就拿著這張很久前兄長拍攝下的個人照，在他放假時候到各個地點去尋找。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbUb9N6yLo
但是，得到的答案總是千篇一律，他們從未見過他。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡots1mOc15O
伊莉莎白跟羅德里赫也勸過他該放棄了，因為死心總比冀望那幾乎不存在的希望來的好。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Nkz3kLxNh
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也許是該放棄的時候了。ns216.73.216.94da2
