※隱青黑設定39Please respect copyright.PENANAPYVjxBgIa3
※不打籃球只耍文藝的大家39Please respect copyright.PENANAbWNQoJDvAU
39Please respect copyright.PENANALltODWwKGP
39Please respect copyright.PENANAtFj2ifsAeK
39Please respect copyright.PENANAcx3DVBWt0R
39Please respect copyright.PENANAcFzmnHJolR
39Please respect copyright.PENANAVpegWOaPrO
39Please respect copyright.PENANAFvQcijDZW1
39Please respect copyright.PENANAdJzObsAndC
39Please respect copyright.PENANAoIUtyhygtl
39Please respect copyright.PENANANMpOh1Etcy
39Please respect copyright.PENANAtyqVuH4dor
39Please respect copyright.PENANAoEEO9qbUHJ
39Please respect copyright.PENANA6DN9u7GOU1
39Please respect copyright.PENANAeINyJ529mG
39Please respect copyright.PENANAIeNbFNjwTK
39Please respect copyright.PENANAOLzfYnjq9K
39Please respect copyright.PENANAq1iuNhj3xF
39Please respect copyright.PENANAn6Qnubl5Bw
39Please respect copyright.PENANADwxblDhIq0
39Please respect copyright.PENANAgpUnlllZLe
39Please respect copyright.PENANAqJDhO4d9Ht
39Please respect copyright.PENANA8MFjTsW8m6
39Please respect copyright.PENANAmLbVzN4CNf
-39Please respect copyright.PENANAeaoPRBEfh6
39Please respect copyright.PENANA9jaiVvYIwf
39Please respect copyright.PENANAovQBOYhY8L
第四幕39Please respect copyright.PENANAUacVGFMQWx
39Please respect copyright.PENANAOLQx34IwKu
「人類幾乎都很愚蠢。就我的推測至少有百分之九十四的人都是如此,但不要忘記,愚蠢並非壞事,也不低賤,更不卑微。死人比活人愚蠢,睡覺的人又比清醒的人愚蠢,停止運轉的引擎比運作的引擎愚蠢,這就是愚蠢的概念。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAX98BDovR9C
-犀川創平39Please respect copyright.PENANASl4EDF7wHs
39Please respect copyright.PENANA9ekPsx3LcT
=39Please respect copyright.PENANAELYVKOzfns
39Please respect copyright.PENANA1GAyYEkPYj
也許吧。39Please respect copyright.PENANAVMt8P2yrz6
犯了錯誤什麼的也不是這麼不可饒恕的事情。其實根本不可能達到完美什麼的,是早該了解的事情。39Please respect copyright.PENANAUYJAcEoZDo
赤司征十郎有些茫然的看著虛空。39Please respect copyright.PENANA5MZPk8776z
在課堂時間一個人躺在宿舍寢室裡也是赤司征十郎從未有過的經驗。不管是時間管理還是身體管理總是盡可能達到完美的赤司,別說睡過頭蹺課了,就連因為感冒而請假的經驗都近乎為零。39Please respect copyright.PENANAdz3Pf9XARg
所以這種從皮膚之下擴散出的灼熱到了皮膚表層卻轉換成寒冷的感覺、覺得身體跟腦袋都像是灌了鉛的感覺、明明身處平地卻暈眩伴隨著耳鳴跟反胃的感覺,已經幾乎要從他的記憶中消失了。39Please respect copyright.PENANAD64NlTT8pv
幾乎是從小學過後就沒有發燒過了啊...所以現在被感冒擊敗而躺在宿舍床上的赤司一口氣感受到了身體跟心靈上的雙重打擊。39Please respect copyright.PENANA0tvLLSHlXc
也許就是因為討厭這種無力感吧,討厭不聽使喚、無法反抗的感覺,討厭自己無法控制的事情,討厭示弱,討厭屈服。39Please respect copyright.PENANApmNrmN49jQ
討厭無法達到完美的自己。39Please respect copyright.PENANAEW1WYmyTp9
用手背蓋住眼窩,冰冷的手感受到自身發出的高熱。39Please respect copyright.PENANAAnMDWHsY0U
就連這樣有著軟弱想法的自身都很陌生。39Please respect copyright.PENANAZylH9utqpR
39Please respect copyright.PENANAGnwhPuItLy
明明早就知道了不是嗎。39Please respect copyright.PENANABNXD9T5CPo
39Please respect copyright.PENANAdL4mwZHtfK
一開始就知道這個實驗的起點一方面是想試驗黑子的反應,一方面是使黑子無法離開他,而罔顧黑子本人的意願。簡單來說,相當自私的霸佔奇蹟之影的方式。39Please respect copyright.PENANABtQwrHcMmZ
可是中途的變質使他動搖了。39Please respect copyright.PENANAynjN1l4bUF
產生興趣、付出關心、讓人進入自身生活圈,在從黑子的反應中得到樂趣的同時,相對的他付出了感情。39Please respect copyright.PENANA8jtVKJ8qym
這大概就是敗筆。39Please respect copyright.PENANApTirlywRhq
一直以來都用「正確」完美武裝自己的赤司征十郎心想,這大概就是阿基里斯腱被射穿的感覺吧。39Please respect copyright.PENANAXzYF95n4Kx
是啊、這一切他明明全都料到了,如同梅菲斯特一樣以為自己簽下了必勝的契約,到頭來卻發現事情的發展雖然如他預料,實際上卻總是因為許多他不了解的原因而變質。39Please respect copyright.PENANAIRDI97wmtN
39Please respect copyright.PENANAaj2ejWUiLj
39Please respect copyright.PENANARIGSxa3yMv
「赤司君,你太差勁了。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAJLyiDVthgp
當時硬生生抽開手的黑子這麼說著,狠狠盯著他的目光中情緒非常強烈,跟他幾乎沒有高低起伏的語氣相去甚遠。39Please respect copyright.PENANAsiIyDYmVsL
39Please respect copyright.PENANAyqp3uJmXu2
赤司沒有回話。39Please respect copyright.PENANARaDDbhFueG
39Please respect copyright.PENANAazuxiZvQhz
可是黑子接下來什麼都沒有說,就只是用那樣的眼神注視著他。39Please respect copyright.PENANAZrnm612UXh
39Please respect copyright.PENANA4MJslIiXbg
時光飛逝,赤司並不曉得他們在那樣的時間之中過了多久,也不曉得那個時候的靜止之中,黑子是在等待些什麼來打破沈默。39Please respect copyright.PENANAKMA7ANMsEx
39Please respect copyright.PENANAMuY8kUu7fs
最後是雨聲驟然落下,秋季的京都意料外地下起了雨。39Please respect copyright.PENANALBLG0306T0
39Please respect copyright.PENANA1Wo8MEeY4t
他覺得他們就像那些被打落的紅葉。39Please respect copyright.PENANAkbtVcBZgVp
39Please respect copyright.PENANACXNWxZ4kp3
眼神就像是在說「我受夠你了」的黑子默然轉身,最後還是留給了赤司一片背影之後淡出身形,而赤司噤然。39Please respect copyright.PENANAW5xdEC4dVs
39Please respect copyright.PENANAQcg8pAqT5I
這一點都沒有赤司征十郎的風格。除了意料之中的轉身,其他的、例如突如其來的雨聲,從身體內部感受到的寒意、耳鳴、視線中的空白、想發出聲音但是卻如石頭般僵硬的咽喉,全都是他始料未及的。39Please respect copyright.PENANAjbEhHDQGXY
39Please respect copyright.PENANAelEEVVGw2C
預料到會被討厭,以及親自經歷被重視的對象投以負面情緒,這兩者可是完全不同的等級。39Please respect copyright.PENANA56wAx0M6wk
39Please respect copyright.PENANAJAeUooyrUj
所以這些寒意、從胃部與胸口感受到的緊縮與燒灼、沈重到抬不起的肩膀,也許都是些合情合理的反應,可是他不能理解那種迫使他咬緊牙根的衝動是什麼。39Please respect copyright.PENANAaz4xRyC6Cq
39Please respect copyright.PENANApW9yi4aZyW
對於給自己安排這個結局的自己感到深惡痛絕,即使那原本就是自己的選擇。39Please respect copyright.PENANASUCBmiAKZ1
39Please respect copyright.PENANAtNW0ewEkxa
一切都是自己的選擇,可是卻感到了窒息,赤司征十郎一時以為自己會在這個窒息感中溺斃。39Please respect copyright.PENANAooDa6Z6XTm
39Please respect copyright.PENANA9cfvcZP55A
掙扎著吸取空氣、視野褪色模糊,他以為他產生了聽到黑子聲音的幻聽。39Please respect copyright.PENANAmb8tcF4Qjf
39Please respect copyright.PENANAByLQ7PeLMQ
用有點遲疑的聲音喚著「赤司君?」,如同以前的每一次一樣。39Please respect copyright.PENANAv8TKzs7wQO
39Please respect copyright.PENANAVSZP1QJSlP
不過想必是幻覺吧,真是不爭氣。39Please respect copyright.PENANAkeh8AfeFNw
39Please respect copyright.PENANANwJg9msXKe
一邊自嘲著,一邊陷入黑暗,而這就是赤司征十郎在意識斷線之前最後的記憶。39Please respect copyright.PENANA6NwErO6QAr
39Please respect copyright.PENANALJewlLed4J
-39Please respect copyright.PENANAklGdTiBLbF
39Please respect copyright.PENANARDiOQSrA60
隔天的晨練他沒有參加,這件事情震驚了整個洛山籃球部。雖然聽起來有些誇張,不過事情的確是這個樣子的。39Please respect copyright.PENANAGdQKbE2qkY
赤司征十郎因為身體不適而請假,這種事情發生的機率對認識赤司本人的人而言,就跟落下的隕石正好打中了國家元首一樣的不可思議。39Please respect copyright.PENANABArmG3QoTE
當時的情況有多混亂就暫且不提,不過以來宿舍探病的實浏跟葉山轉述的情況拼湊出的情報表示,第一時間去跟監督報告的人應該是黑子。39Please respect copyright.PENANAtIenWXy82a
39Please respect copyright.PENANALQKsI45wtG
當時離開了體育館的黑子,卻又帶著傘返回。緣由姑且不提,當時的黑子映入眼簾的,卻是看似陷入昏迷的赤司。39Please respect copyright.PENANAKz0vYrgluM
39Please respect copyright.PENANA1bSdX7ajSh
「小哲好像嚇壞了啊...不過幸虧他反應很快,在體育館外面遇到了來拿東西的根武谷,然後就兩個人一起把你抬到了保健室。」這句話體貼地隱瞞了赤司其實是被根武谷公主抱到保健室的事實。39Please respect copyright.PENANAqPQx7FeHWM
「如果是我的話可能會覺得要叫救護車吧。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAd4dOKbmAtR
「聽說小哲本來也想叫救護車的,但是被根武谷那傢伙阻止了。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAhjBdyRsJ0Q
「為什麼?」39Please respect copyright.PENANApSnRPKNwNe
「因為那傢伙說,如果叫了救護車就勢必要通知家屬,一旦赤司家知道小征因為部活太過勞累倒下的話,不管是小征本人還是洛山籃球部,立場都會有些為難吧。所以在跟保健室老師確認過不會有大礙的情況下,就先這樣子了。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAcZmE73NR1I
「真是讓人意想不到啊...明明看起來就是個只有肌肉的大塊頭,卻可以在那麼短的時間之內做出這樣的判斷。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAURC9s5OFjG
「雖然我也很意外...不過幸好當時小哲遇到的是那傢伙而不是你啊。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAQvtQXCcUKa
「鈴央姊這是在損我嗎?!」39Please respect copyright.PENANA8ArYTUWtgS
39Please respect copyright.PENANAGn1Z2A1iKJ
總之之後小哲去跟白金監督報告了這件事,並且表示可以留下來照顧小征...不過這些我們都是隔天晨練之後聽根武谷講的。實浏鈴央跟葉山小太郎來探病時,坐在赤司的床旁如此表示。39Please respect copyright.PENANAnuLSfCQcGY
一整段的對話之中,明明是話題當事人的赤司一言不發,只是看似專注的聽著他們的對話。不過幸好他們兩人都是不在意赤司沒有參與對話的人,兩人自顧自的接續著對話,對赤司的沉默完全不以為意。39Please respect copyright.PENANASZTNTzODYH
不過小征你也真是的,為什麼要把自已繃得這麼緊呢?小哲說你從當時就一直昏迷到今天上午,中途完全沒有醒來...他很擔心呢。話題終於轉到自己身上,但對於來自隊友真切的關心,赤司有些無法回應。39Please respect copyright.PENANAEQdwmj6Gao
39Please respect copyright.PENANAGI3t0HdThl
為什麼呢?這一點大概就連赤司本人都無法回答。39Please respect copyright.PENANAeYjZdDVStH
他並不覺得自己有把自己繃得太緊,也不覺得當時的運動量或是體力超出負荷...明明一切都還在他的掌控之內,事情卻失控了。39Please respect copyright.PENANA2WmbjebwY4
39Please respect copyright.PENANAgN1INmMdyu
為什麼?39Please respect copyright.PENANAB26CbNmbrk
39Please respect copyright.PENANA538rhHxD6t
現在換赤司在對自己問這個問題,而且他不知道答案。39Please respect copyright.PENANA1ba8xjMEmY
這樣若有所思的失神,換來的是小太郎在他眼前揮動的手掌。39Please respect copyright.PENANAnYf72BJIRN
「赤司司...」39Please respect copyright.PENANAa4OmmW6jNe
「別用那種奇怪的稱呼叫小征啦!」39Please respect copyright.PENANAQyYNuR2j9T
「明明鈴央姊的叫法才是最奇怪的..........吶、赤司司、現在哪裡會痛嗎?」39Please respect copyright.PENANA8icHkVOcfr
39Please respect copyright.PENANAVBNrx2laeF
這個問句一出,赤司跟實浏都微微楞了一愣。39Please respect copyright.PENANA1afJzW7zHz
39Please respect copyright.PENANAz3FE06LbGi
「為什麼突然這麼問呢?小太郎。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAlJKiBbddup
「大概是因為、」葉山小太郎一臉疑惑的歪了歪頭。「赤司司的表情就是好像哪裡在痛的感覺嘛!」39Please respect copyright.PENANA9yuENjKgAh
39Please respect copyright.PENANABE6G9YnMkl
難道你們都沒有感覺嗎?回看著其他兩人的葉山這麼說著。39Please respect copyright.PENANA3a1QVEp0VG
39Please respect copyright.PENANA2pkVq324N3
「說到這個,我其實想問很久了。」實渕鈴央看著臉色有著微妙變化的赤司,開口詢問。「小征、你跟小哲吵架了嗎?」39Please respect copyright.PENANA2uHkyKxjDl
赤司圓睜的雙眼閃過了一絲的空白。39Please respect copyright.PENANAlqWC9DSm8v
39Please respect copyright.PENANAHfs2BSkcjo
「我們沒有吵架。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAQ4xQoNpMHM
39Please respect copyright.PENANAodqURXlSC2
看著一臉茫然的葉山小太郎跟一臉懷疑的實渕鈴央,赤司扯了扯嘴角補充了一句。「只有單方面的話根本算不上吵架。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAZwsNXo2Uwy
39Please respect copyright.PENANAoG2XvyhHZM
那麼、是怎麼一回事呢?實浏有點溫柔的聲音問著。39Please respect copyright.PENANAHKP9lpyXfS
我惹他生氣了。39Please respect copyright.PENANAmvIlbE13on
是小征的錯嗎?39Please respect copyright.PENANABp048Gt8sR
我想、是的。39Please respect copyright.PENANAfTe2kkFnKO
跟小哲道過歉了嗎?39Please respect copyright.PENANA8MgoHzFjeS
道了歉可能也沒有用,我想他不會原諒我。39Please respect copyright.PENANAzinGV1QSWp
這樣是不行的喔,小征。39Please respect copyright.PENANAhQV90An5ns
什麼意思?39Please respect copyright.PENANABsbg6SzkcO
犯了錯卻不去道歉。39Please respect copyright.PENANAKd7GcXrrgY
即使知道不會有用也是嗎?39Please respect copyright.PENANA0ip4vcPq2q
小征又是為什麼如此確信呢。39Please respect copyright.PENANAaXPKHzz91T
這樣是不行的。39Please respect copyright.PENANA3UmGk0tdV2
39Please respect copyright.PENANAHBhMsBVaec
實浏的聲音留在耳蝸迴旋不去。39Please respect copyright.PENANAk98JZa8PEF
39Please respect copyright.PENANAziRf3hSnQE
這樣是不行的。39Please respect copyright.PENANAK9zN4QLj2C
因為可能不會被原諒,所以就連道歉都沒有,這樣是不行的。39Please respect copyright.PENANAv0o6PUzGFc
39Please respect copyright.PENANAEyjSB0j0iC
獨自一人躺在床上,但是耳邊卻依舊是剛才實浏跟葉山的喋喋絮語。39Please respect copyright.PENANALb2GsAkLPH
剛剛離去的人的體溫就像還留在空氣中一樣,語言、氣味還有眼神並沒有因為他們的離去而消失。39Please respect copyright.PENANAYh80QkKlhC
就跟他一樣。39Please respect copyright.PENANAoaKrkPtJva
就跟黑子哲也一樣。39Please respect copyright.PENANAkiJr6qVmDw
39Please respect copyright.PENANAq7IzumI4qr
現在的赤司君是不會了解的。39Please respect copyright.PENANAZurDMIA7uZ
39Please respect copyright.PENANAkBrMZS14Un
耳邊就像傳來了伴隨著吐息的平靜聲音。39Please respect copyright.PENANALIm4zcuTTI
現在的赤司君不會理解為什麼人們總是會選擇去做些蠢事。39Please respect copyright.PENANAxI4vLEKTUF
其實、在你的眼中,堅信著一切都是正確的我才是最可笑的吧,哲也。39Please respect copyright.PENANASUwFKWz6Up
39Please respect copyright.PENANAnSXjl3146O
他理解他們都是些怎麼樣的存在。知道過於炙熱的才能在過於稚嫩的心靈上綻開的燙傷會是什麼樣子、知道對他們而言碰撞在一起的拳頭有什麼意義、知道沒碰上的拳頭力道比碰上的拳頭更沈重。39Please respect copyright.PENANASgWRjiZIyr
他理解他們都有可能觸及到些什麼、將會走向些什麼。39Please respect copyright.PENANAGvvNW7vT5X
他理解他們將會成為些什麼。39Please respect copyright.PENANASdoQHkhoXB
他理解他們必然會分道揚鑣。39Please respect copyright.PENANAp0BHil1VyH
他理解他們即使看向不同的方向,也無法抹煞掉曾在彼此生命中留下的痕跡。39Please respect copyright.PENANA5Flm5Lbpqy
他理解他們必然分離,也理解他們必然無法斬斷。39Please respect copyright.PENANAQahaMoUjwI
理解他的痛苦,理解他的不甘。39Please respect copyright.PENANAcRXiEFb6iR
理解他的孤傲,理解他的不屈。39Please respect copyright.PENANA68KU2UR6a7
他從一開始就知道,黑子一旦被他迷惑便無法回頭。39Please respect copyright.PENANArrH46CgIoh
他知道即使黑子咬住了他拋出的餌,在吞下之後、他也只會是那個在咽喉之中被餌鉤刮出的傷口。39Please respect copyright.PENANA99itZQJna4
39Please respect copyright.PENANA8tFqeeG9oH
即使知道。39Please respect copyright.PENANA9gOOM2Nw60
39Please respect copyright.PENANABw2WtAnmdj
他卻到了現在才知道他當初所不知道的東西是什麼。39Please respect copyright.PENANAg5oJP9NweJ
看著天花板的紋路、他想。39Please respect copyright.PENANArUQ7BIMPSk
在世界中、溺斃在這種迷惘與懊悔當中的人應該不計其數。39Please respect copyright.PENANARgFK4CMvzL
39Please respect copyright.PENANAF94hMdSoKC
他閉上雙眼。39Please respect copyright.PENANAGNVqyJ3803
39Please respect copyright.PENANATekNcwZ71v
-39Please respect copyright.PENANAzqYQ2mAo7A
時間的流動真的是一種很神祕的東西。雖然擁有客觀的計量單位,但是只要身而為人,就無法擺脫以人類感官為基準造成的那種時間急速流逝、抑或是凝滯不動的錯覺。39Please respect copyright.PENANAYjSI3JRoxs
就像是從半空中墜落的疾速,又或是被玻璃帷幕給阻隔而無法伸出手的滯礙感,躺在床榻上的赤司征十郎如此想著。39Please respect copyright.PENANAQljtzXNXG3
入睡之前明明覺得時間流逝的太慢,在醒來之後卻又被時間流逝的幅度嚇到,覺得自己簡直是做了一次時空跳躍。時空跳躍、赤司想著這個詞笑了,對於會產生這樣的想法的自己笑了。如果是哲也的話、會說些什麼呢?無法克制地產生了這個念頭,卻又瞬間轉為黯淡。在實浏與葉山的探望結束之後,他的意識浮沈之間又經歷了幾個小睡,可是那個據說照顧了他一晚的角色在這個下午卻完全沒有出現。39Please respect copyright.PENANAGMJ50puPOP
是因為聽說他醒了所以就不再出現了嗎?赤司閉上眼、不負責任地猜著,反正他可能再也沒有機會了,在這個晚上、39Please respect copyright.PENANA1nONo69tTt
39Please respect copyright.PENANAkxj7Yo3YvC
「打擾了、赤司君。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAoHhs6OFaLj
39Please respect copyright.PENANAj7rjhSwqT3
這個聲音打斷了他的臆想,他原本快要進入黑暗的意識瞬間亮起。39Please respect copyright.PENANAg8Eb4hDxPW
他睜開眼睛往旁一看,看見的是黑子哲也,手中拿著講義,走進他房間的自在氣息跟往常如出一轍。39Please respect copyright.PENANAEU0lSwqWwB
39Please respect copyright.PENANAJiEHDftR9R
「身體有好點了嗎?赤司君讓包括我在內的許多人都嚇了好大一跳,以後請不要再這樣了,許多人會擔心的。」39Please respect copyright.PENANArbdPAgWUuA
39Please respect copyright.PENANAucr9wJIbeP
熟門熟路的黑子哲也像是完全不需要確認一樣,不曾回頭看向赤司,卻毫不懷疑赤司有沒有聽見他的聲音。39Please respect copyright.PENANAX0icANVPku
39Please respect copyright.PENANA7j1zVzZRvK
「這是今天的講義,老師說你的作業可以下次上課再補交。籃球部的工作目前由副部長跟經理接手,學生會的會議則是順延了。保健室的老師希望你醒來之後能夠知會他一聲,然後這些東西是班上同學跟經理要給你的。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAm18EPHzMgn
39Please respect copyright.PENANAVJAr6aKS7W
像是沒事人一樣的當事者黑子哲也自顧自的說了這麼長一串話,語氣一如往常的棒讀但也不見絲毫僵硬,反倒是赤司難得地楞在當場。39Please respect copyright.PENANAI3OYWojklo
黑子終於停下了腳步、回頭對上赤司的視線。「赤司君、你還好嗎?」對著黑子平靜的眼神,赤司楞了半响,才回答了一個遲疑的「嗯」。39Please respect copyright.PENANAVndi9njk58
此時黑子波瀾不驚的眼神才出現了些許笑意。「赤司君,」黑子眨了眨眼。「你說謊。」39Please respect copyright.PENANA1V0QTwLnHZ
「赤司君你現在一點都不好。」黑子這麼說著,然後逕自坐到了他的床邊。赤司沒有說話。39Please respect copyright.PENANANHnLrLcRlq
就只是這樣子彼此注視。39Please respect copyright.PENANAdmhHzVlcaM
39Please respect copyright.PENANA8AFZqdozdh
「吶、赤司君,我今天下午沒有出現是因為我去見了一個人。」黑子最後還是眨了眨眼,主動打破了沉默。39Please respect copyright.PENANAzf3tmDzvbK
「......」赤司則否。39Please respect copyright.PENANAZ3ar7WTFj9
「正確來說、應該是被叫出去。」黑子轉開視線,不在意赤司的沉默而繼續說道。「然後那個人跟我道歉了......為了一件他實際上沒有必要道歉的事。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAvLvfm9yZAE
「.........你跟大輝碰面了。」並不是疑問句。39Please respect copyright.PENANA7zQa9VqEju
聽到了赤司終於打破沉默,黑子緩緩轉頭對上赤司的視線。即使一言不發,從進門開始便落在自己身上的強烈視線並不是黑子會忽略掉的東西。39Please respect copyright.PENANAeDln24UWnU
39Please respect copyright.PENANAmxxedNgWzl
這樣的視線又意味著什麼、黑子覺得他似乎有個底,卻又總是不停的猜測。39Please respect copyright.PENANAALVNbK0csk
他覺得他們之間的相處有點像是一種角力,總是在彼此揣摩、試探虛實,這到底又是為了什麼?兩方各自的心中都有一個屬於對方的角色,而他們意識到之後甚至耗費心思的在扮演著對方心中的那個形象...這樣子的理解簡直是到了有些可笑的地步。39Please respect copyright.PENANAvjsg7mehpT
所以在他打破平衡之後、才意識到他們總是在鏡中尋找著彼此,而他非得打破鏡子、打破與對方的聯繫所建構起的形象之後,才有可能看見真實的彼此;在他知道他可能會親手把這段牽絆撕裂之下,他本來視若珍寶的關係已經被他自己親手丟棄。39Please respect copyright.PENANAM5SOG2LnHJ
不是不願意珍惜,而是做好了必須放手的準備。所以他開口。39Please respect copyright.PENANAU4HBmGEFJj
平靜的程度遠超出自己的想像。39Please respect copyright.PENANAlzqKRvVu8Q
39Please respect copyright.PENANA1WCdU7TQeQ
「赤司君,我花了很久才能理解那些你當初一眼就能理解的東西。」黑子的聲音就像一道安靜的流水,從乾涸的裂隙之間緩緩流出。就像他一樣、不冷不熱、無色無味,可是卻解除了燥熱所帶來的乾渴。39Please respect copyright.PENANAhIMm9CDYxK
青峰君當時說他並沒有要為了拆夥而道歉的意思,畢竟光其實並沒有虧欠影子些什麼。當下其實沒有人有錯,而我也知道。39Please respect copyright.PENANAeSJvzSvz5g
他道歉只為了一件事。黑子筆直地看著他,然後目光變成一種帶著無奈的溫柔。他說那個情況讓我們都很難過,而他不希望我難過,所以他很抱歉。39Please respect copyright.PENANAmUJ6ksFMwu
「赤司君,我沒有要埋怨你的意思。我只是想告訴你。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAA2t1DKKQIQ
我的確是很生氣、非常生氣。大概沒有人會喜歡自己被耍著玩、或是發現自己被當成小丑一樣觀察、被用來滿足好奇心、或是被當成實驗品。39Please respect copyright.PENANApRQ0q693Hf
39Please respect copyright.PENANA7eqhSCnyxL
何況......我不想承認,但是這段時間以來、我變得、太過依賴赤司君。39Please respect copyright.PENANA5CuXkEroZg
39Please respect copyright.PENANAOOmWyASHrX
我想赤司君也知道...畢竟這一切都是你安排策劃許久的。39Please respect copyright.PENANAwFjjbNIcnY
39Please respect copyright.PENANAKKqq3NrWC6
話雖如此、雖然我的確是非常生氣、像是整個小世界天翻地覆了一樣、不過,我還是要說。39Please respect copyright.PENANAJDD2L1SZ4S
你們都把我想的太脆弱了。39Please respect copyright.PENANAqk61xf3XUE
39Please respect copyright.PENANAXuCyFdJVDd
赤司啞然。39Please respect copyright.PENANAO0jiJe6X99
39Please respect copyright.PENANAIjL5ZP6D60
為了找回光而孤注一擲的影子。39Please respect copyright.PENANApca3PKGbVe
39Please respect copyright.PENANAhlMnhNY9xR
赤司君,我並不是第一次無路可退。在成為影子之前我也曾經想要成為光,但是失敗了。是赤司君你對我指出了另一條路,而我也找到了成為影子的方法。39Please respect copyright.PENANAVQ1RGlXXso
39Please respect copyright.PENANAuJiYRxhfKy
而當我失去影子這個身分的時候,我並不是沒有質疑過我站在場上的理由。39Please respect copyright.PENANA5MnEY60JAU
39Please respect copyright.PENANAA5SjedmJxL
我並不是沒有體會過絕望,也不是不知道什麼叫做痛苦。39Please respect copyright.PENANAbWo7c7Vd2q
39Please respect copyright.PENANAscedQZNQMH
「我知道。」39Please respect copyright.PENANA8OxC02g7KL
39Please respect copyright.PENANAfuoitF3jUv
我的確、是想要找回影子的地位、我想要「黑子的籃球」被認同。我想要證明「黑子的籃球」是正確的,就如同青峰君希望找回對於籃球的熱情。39Please respect copyright.PENANA2YJfq3u9Xb
我希望重新獲得青峰君的認同,不只是為了青峰君,、為了黑子的籃球得以生存的影子的地位,這些我都想要。39Please respect copyright.PENANA95chpySuiY
39Please respect copyright.PENANAwc4KEIMTcP
可是赤司君,我也不是一個會對路上的風景毫無所察的人。39Please respect copyright.PENANA67vmU319nj
39Please respect copyright.PENANAKoUBEF6N5w
「嗯。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAcz8Cw0TLIf
39Please respect copyright.PENANAokaDJ8kVNZ
我跟你來到洛山之後並不是第一次思考過,我為什麼會跟你來。39Please respect copyright.PENANAAjOEEzoUYQ
39Please respect copyright.PENANAnAGVrgrJqU
「......是啊、為什麼呢?」39Please respect copyright.PENANAdPFaMTbhPq
39Please respect copyright.PENANAoCUEJStcS7
是啊、為什麼呢?我想要尋找些什麼不一樣的東西,赤司君說過的「團隊的勝利」,我想也許跟著赤司君就有可能見到理想中的最終型態,但是來到洛山之後卻發現這裡跟帝光幾乎如出一轍。39Please respect copyright.PENANAlPnySXTB7V
團隊的勝利、理想論、才能決定論、我覺得這些其實都不是我要的答案,我兜了這麼大一個圈子,卻發現自己尋找的東西根本就不在我的旅途之中。39Please respect copyright.PENANAnxkD1eTcPj
39Please respect copyright.PENANAJyafo9J0qb
「那你發現了嗎?你真正想尋找的東西。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAdRpwXN2uQe
39Please respect copyright.PENANAY7x9fLs5vv
黑子的眼神純粹而專注,無聲卻充滿力量。39Please respect copyright.PENANA67Sl4rt3BA
39Please respect copyright.PENANA1bdvOYKqDJ
那赤司君、你覺得呢?39Please respect copyright.PENANAGJ27jtwZhx
你覺得我找到了嗎?39Please respect copyright.PENANAs32W8zzUWS
39Please respect copyright.PENANAGrrOQiDiKl
赤司回望他。39Please respect copyright.PENANANvd1N01lA4
39Please respect copyright.PENANAIAFTytNlcg
哲也,我不知道。39Please respect copyright.PENANAPff0dwRmK1
嗯。39Please respect copyright.PENANAjNjCyKpdK3
我不知道你是否找到了。39Please respect copyright.PENANA3K0oC8b9Ff
嗯。39Please respect copyright.PENANAUEXAcMdyY7
而且、39Please respect copyright.PENANAlP57KrN6Y6
嗯?39Please respect copyright.PENANA6qVEMkDXPz
我覺得已經無所謂了。39Please respect copyright.PENANAgqep7MQUoc
39Please respect copyright.PENANA463j1xKzrl
「是的,赤司君。」音調改變了。這段時間以來,赤司覺得他終於在黑子的眼中看見了真正的笑意。「這就是答案。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAxDRt4RBkEu
39Please respect copyright.PENANA44IHhxKNfa
從一個尋找答案的旅途轉變成一個不需要答案的旅途,這之間的距離有多遠?39Please respect copyright.PENANA405viadzko
39Please respect copyright.PENANAcGEvSCjbIQ
我問了自己好多次、我想要的究竟是什麼。39Please respect copyright.PENANA6f6epjxKkO
我想著我所有遇見的同伴、我所渴望的一切、然後一個一個抽離。39Please respect copyright.PENANAzcw2SZBYgP
每次都覺得好像要見到終點了但依舊一無所獲。39Please respect copyright.PENANAWv0oo6PwNC
39Please respect copyright.PENANAoSKGJGPkW2
一直到青峰君對我說抱歉。39Please respect copyright.PENANAu7Z4veIRDB
39Please respect copyright.PENANAWnX0EdZzwZ
我想我只是需要一個認同,讓我知道我還是有辦法快樂的。39Please respect copyright.PENANAnstUbc9Fa2
39Please respect copyright.PENANAIOJK7YL7nw
黑子看向赤司。39Please respect copyright.PENANAjAKiA2v5Ux
「赤司君沒有什麼要對我說的嗎?」39Please respect copyright.PENANA6jLWNmwl5L
39Please respect copyright.PENANABgqHzSTRUI
覺得有些難以呼吸的赤司顯得有些戰戰兢兢。39Please respect copyright.PENANAKIKw38etdi
39Please respect copyright.PENANAmwFkna7gLC
「............你覺得我應該要說些什麼呢。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAhIwy4p74Jk
「赤司君該不會在想什麼『反正道了歉也不見得會被原諒所以不如保持沉默以免事態惡化』之類的藉口吧。」39Please respect copyright.PENANASvxX2TDJ2s
「..........................」沉默。39Please respect copyright.PENANAAS1zvCKnMH
「赤司君?」39Please respect copyright.PENANAviRQiiJDFy
「對不起。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAOBO9RZhhn6
「赤司君請好好的向我道歉。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAdmOoUeaDWE
「哲也,對不起。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAmwJhdpwtet
「說你從來沒考慮過我的心情這一點向我道歉。」39Please respect copyright.PENANA2CV8a3yXN4
「沒有考慮到你的心情,對不起。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAdcQ9csyTUc
「還有完全不管我的想法,自顧自的決定了結局,完全不打算聽我意見這一點也請向我道歉。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAsnP1GtJOhU
「沒有考慮你的意見,對不起.........呃?」39Please respect copyright.PENANAqTWV0DOuOW
「赤司君,有什麼問題嗎?」39Please respect copyright.PENANARKMd2OI63E
「有問題。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAWInTPgTZAX
39Please respect copyright.PENANAwBrndoEoAT
我從來有沒有想像過,有這個選項之外的答案。39Please respect copyright.PENANATlJ106Ywhs
39Please respect copyright.PENANAZ69lUjpzdQ
赤司這麼說之後,黑子哲也輕笑出聲。39Please respect copyright.PENANAZLnLfrtW97
39Please respect copyright.PENANARvoIdfue7h
赤司君雖然口中說著「很期待我的想法」,卻從來沒想過我也是個擁有自由意志的人類嗎。39Please respect copyright.PENANAizJsEihA6G
39Please respect copyright.PENANAgZjUnUxzVG
不是的。赤司馬上這麼回答。39Please respect copyright.PENANAQu9xyuO6kk
39Please respect copyright.PENANAGlP9zFqS7d
短暫的沉默。39Please respect copyright.PENANArePMSj6AmP
39Please respect copyright.PENANABhFjoxISzC
「...也許的確是這樣吧。」最後赤司開口。我期待著你的回答,卻又總是設想你的回答沒有超出我的預期。39Please respect copyright.PENANArafhj5ZK1z
39Please respect copyright.PENANAtD8jzR6aor
因為結果上你總是能超出我的預期呢、哲也。為此我總是相當期待。39Please respect copyright.PENANA91srTPWkQu
39Please respect copyright.PENANAe2oyGUQ4Bf
赤司君,你知道嗎?沒有體會過絕望的人、其實是你。39Please respect copyright.PENANAbfhgQvNoLp
39Please respect copyright.PENANAO4EsdsvEf6
知道什麼是無助、卻不了解什麼是絕望。39Please respect copyright.PENANA2m342JT0gH
知道什麼是絕望、才能體會人類的渺小。39Please respect copyright.PENANA7F3Sfw2eFC
我們都是人類、我們都不是無所不能。39Please respect copyright.PENANA5vVJYYmjWj
是的,赤司回答。所以就算是我也無法預料到所有的事情。39Please respect copyright.PENANAGtLjN9InIO
39Please respect copyright.PENANAMfQV8VKkAP
沒錯,黑子點頭。所以你不了解為什麼你會變得如此脆弱、也不了解為什麼我會出現在這。39Please respect copyright.PENANA9gVdjFv9SY
39Please respect copyright.PENANAd1DgpoDRvp
眼前的赤司注視他良久,眼中的深沈暗濤像一潭湖帶著粼粼的波光。39Please respect copyright.PENANA3pc5IHUiZt
39Please respect copyright.PENANAidjArYctab
最後他緩緩的點了下頭。39Please respect copyright.PENANAzWgTbLPW26
39Please respect copyright.PENANAZu5uTUFS5a
這個微小的動作換來了黑子一個輕若蝶翅的嘆息。39Please respect copyright.PENANAwbnj3bIC6O
39Please respect copyright.PENANArcFlKUQX8r
赤司同意了他的話,承認了自己的無知,首次在他眼前展現的脆弱,那個一直以來都是不可親、夢幻如天上人的赤司第一次卸下外殼,出現在他伸手可即的地方。39Please respect copyright.PENANAjn1QFDAcXg
39Please respect copyright.PENANA1kqX1nwS5n
於是他順從了。他朝著赤司伸出手,把那個散發著微熱的軀體圈進懷中。他伸手撫過赤司背脊的時候感覺到赤司僵了一下,隨後順從地讓他們的胸膛交貼,39Please respect copyright.PENANA5cJcIPwhqW
39Please respect copyright.PENANAT3ZQCaS0Vy
臉頰感覺著耳廓,下巴抵上了肩膀,黑子在赤司的頸窩中滿足地嘆了一口氣。39Please respect copyright.PENANAqF8h8tdNbd
39Please respect copyright.PENANACmcJRP3Ful
「赤司君,你現在能夠理解了嗎?」他在他耳邊說著。39Please respect copyright.PENANAN68aRQfKT2
「嗯。」39Please respect copyright.PENANABz4fezec7M
「並不是所有的感情都能夠被這樣子解構。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAcZzzXCljJm
「嗯。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAcUtFRgqEWc
「例如說、」黑子握緊了手。「我喜歡赤司君這件事。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAvfOuZk8g05
「...............嗯。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAy9swCFET2L
黑子感覺到赤司的臉埋進了他的肩窩之中,他可以感覺到對方呼出來的氣息以及臉頰的熱度。39Please respect copyright.PENANAgOHB2opWnr
「赤司君能夠解構它嗎。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAA8z8DmMQSR
「其實要解構還是有辦法的。」低著頭,赤司有些悶悶的聲音傳出。「不過,我不想。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAMXFlKsU4vg
「嗯。」39Please respect copyright.PENANARPeY3Yf7f3
「哲也。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAE0olTbRgCe
「嗯。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAviKiNepIBZ
「我們交往吧。」39Please respect copyright.PENANA3lEAX5sKpP
「好的,赤司君。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAeFJswdcWsV
「......你沒有什麼想說的嗎?」赤司的手臂繞上了黑子的背脊。39Please respect copyright.PENANAhu8o2rl2h5
「如果有的話大概就是...」黑子哲也輕輕笑了出來。「太美了,讓時間停下吧。」39Please respect copyright.PENANALu187YhR0y
人的體溫與氣味,肌膚與衣料的觸感,把一個擁抱拆解開來大概就是這樣的組成。可是偏偏在這個時候他才能理解那些千篇一律、陳腔濫調的描寫之中,為什麼會有人想哭。39Please respect copyright.PENANA1MJalLJskb
似乎感覺到他的動搖,黑子加重了擁抱的力道,就像赤司緊緊抱住他一樣。並不給人強韌印象的肉體,卻蘊含了意想不到的龐大能量。赤司心想,這大概就是為什麼黑子有能力成為奇蹟之影,並且總是試著去承擔很多他乍看之下根本擔不起的東西。39Please respect copyright.PENANADUoBLbmSaa
例如說試圖成為青峰大輝的對手,例如說試圖告訴赤司征十郎什麼叫做喜歡。39Please respect copyright.PENANA0ZMBLD0GfI
現在理解了這一點的自己,對於黑子願意回過頭來擁抱自己這一點有著無法言喻的激動。39Please respect copyright.PENANAY3FiwsLlSc
一切都是期間限定,對於自己先前任性的頑劣感到相當懊悔的心情、還有對於感情上所表現出的逃避。只有在現在這個時候,稍微流露出一點軟弱是可以的吧?過了這個時間,一切都會被放回盒中鎖在心底。39Please respect copyright.PENANAHDFuIgOX1n
即使他知道眼前這個人根本不會在意。他並不是因為自身的完美表現而傾心於己,他是黑子哲也,喜歡的是赤司征十郎。39Please respect copyright.PENANA66gjW7aVcf
就只是這樣。39Please respect copyright.PENANA1BDLo3iroU
在黑子的頸窩中,只有赤司知道的、空前絕後的眼淚,毫無聲息地緩緩流出了一滴。39Please respect copyright.PENANAUVhVLFhBco
39Please respect copyright.PENANAuITEwdA2vB
「最後一個問題。」39Please respect copyright.PENANA1o88CPPyAw
39Please respect copyright.PENANAiVU7tp1Han
「嗯。」39Please respect copyright.PENANA46zVSGDVUJ
39Please respect copyright.PENANAOkIRWhBfc5
「那個時候,你為什麼要再回到體育館?」39Please respect copyright.PENANACxGUy04EJp
39Please respect copyright.PENANAa3mYCDNNiV
「因為下雨了,所以我帶著傘來接你。」39Please respect copyright.PENANAnwFnheCrew
39Please respect copyright.PENANA2ODetFHDVk
39Please respect copyright.PENANA0ClxDb2AHg
39Please respect copyright.PENANA3Rp1JsWCMX
39Please respect copyright.PENANA1SpiUIzPtL
-fin-39Please respect copyright.PENANASkoZtZf0Pn
39Please respect copyright.PENANAwmLkoVIibW
39Please respect copyright.PENANAY2Wk5LapV1
39Please respect copyright.PENANA5gdYEs82L1
39Please respect copyright.PENANAWCqQrofg4n
有生之年....................(欸ns216.73.216.84da2