一家人合照、用過的筷子碗碟、她最愛多啦A夢公仔⋯⋯ 有關阿媽貼身用品及心頭好,均一一齊全,幾乎沒有遺漏。 32Please respect copyright.PENANAQUbynpywaB
32Please respect copyright.PENANAPo9RVHWvA4
物品可以循環再造,生命卻無起死回生。 32Please respect copyright.PENANAg46SqdYcq1
32Please respect copyright.PENANAKugCmUd8jf
兩年來,我依然不曾發現,甚至誤認為他無情,為其加施出軌「罪行」。 32Please respect copyright.PENANAsKCe2h5OPk
32Please respect copyright.PENANACvguUB1TS4
也許,真正無情的,是我。 32Please respect copyright.PENANA8kZHXyNG5F
32Please respect copyright.PENANAXfi7FQUliN
「除咗你之外,無人可以幫佢。」她拿起其中一隻多啦A夢公仔,輕力拍去塵埃,再小心放回原位。 32Please respect copyright.PENANAZLcwfjshc6
32Please respect copyright.PENANA0T13JcVElR
此話一出,有種無形壓力壓在雙肩,恐懼自己無法勝任:「點解得我一個?」 32Please respect copyright.PENANAEzqByZ7VRS
32Please respect copyright.PENANAAyt7CYcsjY
阿媽沒作解釋,而是隨手拿起其中一幀家庭照,放到我眼前。 那是阿媽測出癌症前,我們一家三口,最後一次到日本旅行。 32Please respect copyright.PENANAQky3fYwMi1
32Please respect copyright.PENANAiXHqy9xlP1
照片中,我擺出一個冷漠微笑表情,他們兩人則圍住我,於富士山山尾拍照。 昔日畫面,頓時湧上心頭。 32Please respect copyright.PENANAWvUahtbl25
32Please respect copyright.PENANA1lpZXBA4sM
那時,沒有知曉未來能力的我,還傻更更哼着《富士山下》,裝作睿智問道,應為「要擁有,必先等失去怎接受。」抑是「要擁有必先等失去,怎接受。」 32Please respect copyright.PENANAvgCqgy9QK4
32Please respect copyright.PENANAHyHF5yq7Bi
我想,無論是前者或後者,結果同樣沒法接受。 有時候,我會羨慕別人,自己不過是二十多歲,竟已失去母親,被迫面對死亡。 32Please respect copyright.PENANAdtD0SDBm0d
32Please respect copyright.PENANAf7qkjpH9BS
喪禮當日,不少親戚長輩,均輕拍我肩膊,要我好好孝順阿爸,表示未來就靠我支撐。 32Please respect copyright.PENANAPDLZTZ2oqA
32Please respect copyright.PENANAkY2rDwznJy
每下輕拍,都如巨石般重壓,有種無形壓力,要我一下子負起所有責任。我只能點頭苦笑,敷衍他們說話。 32Please respect copyright.PENANASPusEJdiN1
32Please respect copyright.PENANAHbBVrgcaDw
若果自己再年長點,會否有足夠成熟及智慧,能夠承受這一切。 仔細再想,無論何時發生,年輕或年老,均無法淡然接受,豁達面對。 32Please respect copyright.PENANAGqMBswQ22q
32Please respect copyright.PENANAp5d6PVmsSh
可我竟認為,阿爸年紀大,能成熟應對,懂走出傷痛,輕視他痛苦。 32Please respect copyright.PENANA4vqj11yQVk
32Please respect copyright.PENANAVYbEMk6hCx
他會否與我一樣,渴望有人關心,而非獨自承受? 32Please respect copyright.PENANApjE2pZgk02
32Please respect copyright.PENANAubBnm8pV35
「呢段時間,佢將所有心機放喺我哋身上,最能夠相信嘅人,就喺曬相入面。」 32Please respect copyright.PENANAZiiKzlSZb6
32Please respect copyright.PENANAR9ZCsAsIv1
「但阿爸會信得過我?」畢竟從那天開始,他就決心隱瞞事實,不讓所有人知道,打算獨自承受一切。 時隔兩年才示好,就連如何開口,我都無從入手。 32Please respect copyright.PENANAffwjJdaMfP
32Please respect copyright.PENANAlKbPOevS11
「呢張相,你話呢度好睇,佢先Set腳架影,我話另一邊清啲,佢就點都聽唔入耳。咁你話佢信你定信我多啲?」她反問。 32Please respect copyright.PENANAP3P18tvpFp
32Please respect copyright.PENANA3LZjinnsnp
我沉默不語,內心卻冒出答案。 32Please respect copyright.PENANAug8tVxiGPO
32Please respect copyright.PENANAWrkhFWtcTt
「佢一直信你,只係你唔信佢。」阿媽直接了當說,我下意識立即反駁,卻無法自圓其說。 32Please respect copyright.PENANAaNa4X8VoiE
32Please respect copyright.PENANAjaEXPCn6PM
「年紀差太遠,呢啲叫代溝。」我推搪着。 32Please respect copyright.PENANAYUyTrDPGnU
32Please respect copyright.PENANAk5x97Wiy3h
「車,又唔見我哋代溝。」 32Please respect copyright.PENANANOyMwENxA2
32Please respect copyright.PENANAfmboGKdAIu
「都有㗎,但你明我講咩。」 32Please respect copyright.PENANAYcqMAyxkXB
32Please respect copyright.PENANAAMmix84OjX
「你都無同佢講嘢。」32Please respect copyright.PENANA1DJI4thXT4
32Please respect copyright.PENANAwgr6zR5t6B
「一講咪嘈交。」 32Please respect copyright.PENANA3uqfW1YzrM
32Please respect copyright.PENANAtk6SDMaU1K
「你唔講佢點明。」 32Please respect copyright.PENANAPeZz31yWWx
32Please respect copyright.PENANAIxlSv7LT2F
「佢聽得入耳先得㗎。」32Please respect copyright.PENANANRjBbgtstS
32Please respect copyright.PENANA8cn27o7iiU
「你未試就知佢聽唔入耳?」 32Please respect copyright.PENANAwdl9Sto07S
32Please respect copyright.PENANAjDzFMROlWY
「我試過,但⋯⋯」我欲言又止。32Please respect copyright.PENANAZIOJwOzQU9
32Please respect copyright.PENANAKCuyjTK7pP
「試吓原諒佢?」阿媽的三寸不爛之舌,出口快狠準,簡短卻精準,令我啞口無言,不得不屈服。32Please respect copyright.PENANAyBEJD2GvFh
32Please respect copyright.PENANA3RQZ9fgcGL
儘管每次落敗,我依舊懷念鬥嘴時光,好比沉默不語。阿媽回來,頓覺整間屋充滿活力,非死氣沉沉,沉靜無聊。 32Please respect copyright.PENANAy9sn2FjPuF
32Please respect copyright.PENANAYTv0KE86J3
不知何時開始,我害怕面對阿爸,連說一句晚安,都經多番掙扎,每次說到嘴邊,便打消念頭,直接上床訓覺。 32Please respect copyright.PENANAHj6hikKueI
32Please respect copyright.PENANAQ4eEAIVbu6
漸漸地,彼此不再交流對話,同坐餐桌,各有修行,卻曉有默契,互不搭嘴。 若他與阿媽說話,我則專注食飯,他安靜下來,就由我與阿媽閒聊。32Please respect copyright.PENANA8q2oRXDVBN
32Please respect copyright.PENANAKLWNs70hO1
彼此傾訴對象,就只有阿媽一個。 32Please respect copyright.PENANAQYkJhUJv7n
32Please respect copyright.PENANAQ8TvG5L8hZ
這兩年來,大家對答次數,應該也有百多句,如果「哦」及「嗯」這些答覆也包括在內。32Please respect copyright.PENANAYFYpiuFVjH
32Please respect copyright.PENANAOXUJWkW8aH
但真正交流,可謂少之又少。 對上一次直視他、講出心底話,要追溯到四年前爭執。32Please respect copyright.PENANATHRW1yB9gD
32Please respect copyright.PENANATxdA5f3tyO
那時候,阿媽為勸交,竟勸得流眼淚,可阿爸並無動容,無情說出一句話,令我感心寒可怕,自此對他心死。32Please respect copyright.PENANAEyDx6sZQlt
32Please respect copyright.PENANA8hoPYGVmVt
「你走咗唔好再翻嚟。」 32Please respect copyright.PENANA1XXvxWxNgu
32Please respect copyright.PENANAAan95BHMxd
他說得字字鏗鏘,像是我踏出家門半步,就馬上斷絕關係。32Please respect copyright.PENANAwUAJS0Nisl
32Please respect copyright.PENANAdb2cFpFrl9
原來,於價值觀面前,關係也不過脆弱如紙。 32Please respect copyright.PENANAFsv2V22n5t
32Please respect copyright.PENANARP7Ep4hLyf
我只不過,希望他能理解我想法,而非站在電視前,隔住螢幕指手劃腳,喝罵批評我們的不是。 32Please respect copyright.PENANA8L5K2fvLdl
32Please respect copyright.PENANAWxMldHKGME
我怕,他變成我最討厭一群人,我更怕,我就是他所指的混蛋。 32Please respect copyright.PENANAYyPnY4sXCI
32Please respect copyright.PENANA2qB6H2yeD9
當雙方處於對立立場,彼此都渴望對方歸邊,誤以為激辯一番,世界就會變好,我們就能和好。 32Please respect copyright.PENANAnFtQIAxNyw
32Please respect copyright.PENANAioqiNKC59D
但最終,我仍淪為,他口中的混蛋;他終成為,我內心最討厭的人。 也許,我們都有錯,錯在想拗贏對方,錯在想得到對方認同。 32Please respect copyright.PENANAkKX7zj9lWE
32Please respect copyright.PENANAeBVIlfyGky
如今,彼此不再交流半句,這結果,又如他所願、如我所想嗎? 32Please respect copyright.PENANAfvzoIDTCL2
32Please respect copyright.PENANAXg67J23tuG
我不知道。32Please respect copyright.PENANAZtT0vK9tOi
32Please respect copyright.PENANAf0k2fntaSZ
我只知道,他能輕易說出那句話,輕視我倆相處回憶,輕鬆捨棄彼此關係。32Please respect copyright.PENANARcWPs7dtGI
32Please respect copyright.PENANAL31NqFWHzN
32Please respect copyright.PENANAblMq1M1wbo