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No Plagiarism!XbMJPMKPJks3FDf3HEIVposted on PENANA (本節推薦搭配歌曲為美波 - ライラック)8964 copyright protection170PENANAymihbdkVpV 維尼
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(8964 copyright protection170PENANAjPdz4Ckuc8 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAq4ATMsIb0K
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------老爸視角------8964 copyright protection170PENANAH2fcOMAESl 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANA1D2AUi7Z1e
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174Please respect copyright.PENANAECaq9LnCa2
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晚上實況結束後,我便直接洗洗睡了。醒來時已經是早上九點。8964 copyright protection170PENANAS9pBhiDVY1 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAMmgUBoSTaE
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似乎夢到了什麼不好的事,一醒來卻通通忘了。只有殘留的些許緊張及冷汗,在告知自己有這件事。8964 copyright protection170PENANAEZBE9FrxlY 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAwfsNfrxlhf
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但既然忘了……就別逼自己回想了吧?8964 copyright protection170PENANAup4DpTIIZz 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAjDvsRzVVe8
8964 copyright protection170PENANAujpbFj6diN 維尼
總之,我仍舊直接起身到廁所梳洗。8964 copyright protection170PENANAy5N17Urgwj 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANA4piyTev929
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感覺睡得不太好,有種過度警醒,卻依舊疲憊的感受在體內盤桓不去。就算刷牙洗臉完,也試著做了對現代人來說十分難得的早操,那感覺仍無消退的打算。8964 copyright protection170PENANAvWQY0M3sem 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANA4lafSyjEjs
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是肚子餓的關係嗎……?這麼想著的我直接去廚房煮了碗泡麵,接著坐到客廳沙發,像是心死的上班族般默默吃完再回廚房洗碗。8964 copyright protection170PENANAVLdKihrmBo 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAvIyrmkmMjI
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洗完後回到房間,用手機傳訊息給北風說:昨天自己問太多了,並對拿問題堵她問題這點覺得抱歉,並且還在想賠罪的方式。一送完訊息,我便閉上眼睛拋開手機,在沙發上伸手摀住臉。8964 copyright protection170PENANAFNoQJWPqGU 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAWH6a1awXOn
8964 copyright protection170PENANAhIXIUwooQ6 維尼
「……嚇哈!」8964 copyright protection170PENANAI1VBP5DCf8 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAWXkaIVaFLv
8964 copyright protection170PENANAaYfEQ6LgrG 維尼
發出了十分羞恥(被別人聽到的話),但能幫自己打氣的仿武士吆喝。8964 copyright protection170PENANAaKYSsgpSaL 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAMdzq851zL2
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好了。8964 copyright protection170PENANAfcN8m4AehI 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAdbRjaAQR2F
8964 copyright protection170PENANA7Pg9CBCCZ8 維尼
能先做的事都做完了,該是做那個練習的時候了。8964 copyright protection170PENANAOd2iH418Sd 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANA12UKL5F6e5
8964 copyright protection170PENANALYUpkZ4SBu 維尼
……做那件我下定決心做到的事。8964 copyright protection170PENANAVCHLHDg6Gn 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAz6IP5StFqZ
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於是我深呼吸。接連深呼吸三次,才終於讓自己抓起家中鑰匙離開房間。8964 copyright protection170PENANAD5lvemrEWs 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAisMRrR2wP9
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老實說──上次雖然成功走到陽台,但僅僅一次的成功經驗,無法讓恐懼就此消散。對於踏出家門這種事,還是會忍不住想要逃避。8964 copyright protection170PENANASvioJUiZfs 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAyPzEsCOgsX
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很想做點事。無論什麼事都好,藉此讓自己不用面對那可怕的感受。8964 copyright protection170PENANARYBLDsBZjs 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAocnOnPdxJB
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就算曾經挑戰成功,但有時……這反而會讓自己不願再次嘗試。8964 copyright protection170PENANAVFUbpF5cSD 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANADwLVw4sSnv
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比起失敗後又失敗,一度成功後卻再度失敗的挫折會讓人更難受。8964 copyright protection170PENANAUTl9ArR5Dq 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANACiT2tAvSQG
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所以說,看見希望不一定是好事。因為有些人──像是我──就會覺得希望保留在還是「希望」的狀態就好。畢竟一旦開始追逐,那希望可能反而會破滅,轉變成更深的絕望。8964 copyright protection170PENANA3rKEsJ4pEG 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAQz1YqWrk16
8964 copyright protection170PENANA5ZuwbFkQ8W 維尼
「……唉。」8964 copyright protection170PENANAczXAxvbLlB 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAZUnV6r8ur0
8964 copyright protection170PENANAlyflJVdFcf 維尼
但無論再想逃避,還是得繼續嘗試。8964 copyright protection170PENANAJHgb0qzqnm 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAwTM5QVEw8X
8964 copyright protection170PENANA768dbbR0s0 維尼
既然決定了。那麼為了自己──同時也是為了兩個孩子,無論如何都得繼續去試。8964 copyright protection170PENANAqEQUALIBGt 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAdnAKLc08xA
8964 copyright protection170PENANAJ8usvZwBz4 維尼
「嘶──呼──嘶──呼──」8964 copyright protection170PENANAO09AGgUobb 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAE9VqcSXiTs
8964 copyright protection170PENANAIyD8Okd1TU 維尼
終於準備好後,我站在門口,再度深呼吸三次,試著完全放空。盡量不去想接下來要做的事,也不去想做不到的話會怎樣?8964 copyright protection170PENANAUoLCMAzpql 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAkRZLaURCcV
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不去想那些會產生恐懼的事。8964 copyright protection170PENANAVWjQkVGAXC 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAxM3LMjDMeK
8964 copyright protection170PENANA9KQVuKa54r 維尼
似乎是因為原有的疲憊吧?感覺比較沒胡思亂想了。於是接下來,我小心維持著腦內的平衡,同時伸手抓住門把。8964 copyright protection170PENANA2VEyvzsm1P 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAqf2waDnxfe
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不會有事的……這就只是門把,不會怎樣的。接著再向右推,然後再走出去就好。8964 copyright protection170PENANAZUyF4FXIps 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAoUIaP6kdxV
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閉上眼,只去想著門把的觸感……推開時的阻力還有抬腳向前時的肌肉感受──8964 copyright protection170PENANAFq3RyIbIOW 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANACvJcg1PiPg
8964 copyright protection170PENANAsTsUfFc28p 維尼
努力讓自己集中在這些事上,不多想什麼有的沒的。結果一睜眼──便發現自己已然站在陽台。8964 copyright protection170PENANA4EFguM9nXr 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAIwlBfaineJ
8964 copyright protection170PENANAfzLu8jNrem 維尼
「呼……」稍微鬆了口氣。「看吧,就說不會怎麼樣了。」8964 copyright protection170PENANAa2oDI2t9cc 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAJyV946lhC5
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然而,雖已過了第一關,但和上次相比根本沒任何不同。8964 copyright protection170PENANAnjRhkqIM5f 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANA7dPNgBgJOk
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但還是得鼓勵自己就是了。8964 copyright protection170PENANAyExMZzNUvA 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANA7wOlZi0qqR
8964 copyright protection170PENANAcvMVGSdEa4 維尼
稍微從陽台向外看去──恩,沒什麼特別的。是在客廳也看得見,對面公寓的水泥牆及別人客廳的──不行。再看下去大概會被當成偷窺狂。8964 copyright protection170PENANAIJ5A7ZXKqJ 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANABbsdjX7Q7t
8964 copyright protection170PENANA9Qve3C1htQ 維尼
而向左看去,便是這個社區的公園。是我……和子曦在若芸與輝烈還小時,常帶他們去玩的地方。8964 copyright protection170PENANAa7PFTKGVsL 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAHcMR084fhG
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有點懷念。8964 copyright protection170PENANAjxD6F16IrE 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANABBQTqfUwpy
8964 copyright protection170PENANAvLQsXJAQ9N 維尼
想到以前的事,即便現在也還是忍不住想笑。8964 copyright protection170PENANAEEygvInkKE 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAFyyUls1BJI
8964 copyright protection170PENANAn6A5UOSTd1 維尼
那是一切都還正常,只屬於我們家的時光。8964 copyright protection170PENANAdjSfgAer95 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAPJvPV2Y7Sz
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子曦會一直在我身邊,若芸與輝烈也還小,整天黏著在家的我和她不放──8964 copyright protection170PENANA9Moi1Z7B71 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAoJV6nWNrnQ
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但如今卻完全相反。8964 copyright protection170PENANA8faeccIv1p 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAO9Nms7sDpf
8964 copyright protection170PENANAyiaFxLPMuF 維尼
……一不小心又分心太久,還是把心思放回正事吧。8964 copyright protection170PENANATQk1oEXq1I 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANASBMQKmspGQ
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把目標放在右手邊──那扇門的背後。8964 copyright protection170PENANAzyHrvrZek5 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAkywIGAL9P3
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好吧。8964 copyright protection170PENANAW0W1goikDZ 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANA4pb4Ht2xY8
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總而言之,我試著強迫自己向右轉,面對自己的家門。但直到扶住陽台欄桿,一點一滴用手扯動自己前,雙腿都不肯聽從使喚。8964 copyright protection170PENANAPK9jyKtws3 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAa6sKVs8T9E
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腦袋不斷發出警訊,警告自己別去碰……別看見那些事物。可是那就只是扇門,只要打開就能出去了,不就是這麼簡單而已?8964 copyright protection170PENANAOJXEJzh7rR 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAntHBMNfqTn
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如果辦得到的話就試試啊?「這到底有什麼辦不到的?」8964 copyright protection170PENANAbI6fAaowbK 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAWFbJ4xf81G
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如果不怕的話大可以打開那扇門啊?「......好啊。我就開給你看!」8964 copyright protection170PENANAc556jIcYnr 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAKLphhqZDeO
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只要像這樣伸手,握住大門握把再推開就──8964 copyright protection170PENANAAYHj7Onwt8 維尼
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