What is this?
What am I doing?
How do I even know what I’m doing?
I don’t even remember learning this.
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There are some random scribblings here.
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I should probably explain what’s going on. I found myself lying on cold rock. I don’t know how long I was out, or how long I had been there. The rock is elevated above drab, grey stone. I’m still sitting on the rock. It’s quite flat here on the top, but if I fall or climb off, I don’t think I’ll be able to get back on.
So, for now, I’ll stay here.
Next to me, I found a notebook, how nice. There’s a pencil, too. I thought I’d break the graphite at some point, but I don’t seem to be able to. All the pages are blank but these blue lines to indicate where to write. I’m going to record everything that happens here, every little detail at a time. I mean, it’s not like there’s much else to do. I don’t want to leave this rock, though. Where would I even go? Is there anywhere even to go?
I stood up earlier to get a good look around me and all I could see is this bare stone going on and on for miles. Even when I squinted, there was just nothing, absolutely nothing.
I guess I should hop off this rock. Well, not now. I have a bad feeling. This rock is like my bed. I don’t want to leave.
Although, I probably should. There’s nothing here on this rock, except me, this pencil, and this notebook.
I’ll think about it tomorrow.
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Let’s do this!
I just dropped of the rock. There’s some stone. It’s quite barren. No grass, no trees, no animals, nothing, really. It just keeps going and going.
Maybe I’ll find something.
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I got tired and fell asleep on the ground. Everything just feels heavy all the time. I just noticed it, but there’s no night or day here. Just light. It’s not harsh or anything, there’s not even a sun up there. I just get tired and fall asleep. That’s just kinda how it works.
I feel like I should be going somewhere or doing something, but I don’t know.
I’ll just go to sleep again. After all, all I’ve been doing it walking.
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I just noticed. I haven’t eaten once. I haven’t been thirsty, or even had any sense of hunger at all. So then why did I randomly have to go pee? Where did that even come from?
I just felt this pain in my abdomen, and well, I didn’t want to pee on the rocks, so I held it in for a while. I kept walking until the pain got to me.
Now there’s just this random puddle on the ground.
I wanted to see what will happen to it, so now I’m just kinda sitting here...writing about my pee.
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It’s gone! It’s gone! My pee evaporated! No puddle, nothing!
Hm…I wonder where it went. Into the air? Am I breathing it in as I write this?
AA--Oh wait. Evaporation doesn’t work like that.
I should start walking again.
As I was walking, I thought about some stuff.
I guess I’ll put it here. It helps clear my mind to write in this.
One thing I can confirm: I am male.
New concept, I know.
But here’s the odd thing. How did I not even know my own gender? I mean, it’s not like there’s mirrors lying about everywhere, but I should at least have known that, surely?
I wonder what I look like. I think I have brown hair? It’s too short to get a good look at it, but if the curtains match the drapes, it’s brown.
Another thing. All my clothes are white. I have a plain white shirt, plain white sweatpants, and plain white sneakers. No socks. Strange, isn’t it?
On the plus side, I have black and white checkered boxers. Those are pretty cool.
My shoes are starting to wear. I guess I’ve been walking a lot.
Hm...I’m pretty tired, I think I’ll go to sleep. ‘Till tomorrow.
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This page is covered in stains, making the beginning hard to read.
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I walked some. Then I st~pped. I don’t know what overcame me, b~t I can’t stop crying. I’m trying to n~~ get it on the notebook, but that’s not rea~y w~rk~~ng.
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There’s just nothing. How long have I been walking? Who am I kidding? I’m crying because I’m all alone out here. I’m lost and there’s nothing. Endless empty skies, where’s the goddamn sun!
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That’s not why I’m crying.
I’m forgetting something. I go to search for it, but when I find that nothing, I cry. I feel worthless and pathetic and miserable. Miserable that I’m out here, rotting away by myself. Rotting in nothing, only to become nothing.
Why do I even keep walking?
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For what purpose?
Why continue when I could just sleep?
Ah, that sounds nice.
Maybe I’ll never wake up.
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I woke up.
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I thought that if I gave up, it would all end.
I was wrong.
I should walk. It’s all I can really do, as painful as it is.
Just stop thinking.
One foot, then the other. One foot, then the other.
Here I go.
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Grass! There’s grass! A miracle! I think I’m alive inside!
I’m just lying here, in this grass, so fluffy, so amazing.
Actually, it’s kind brown and coarse. It’s sharp and it pricks my arms.
But it’s grass. Life! that may be actually dead. who knooooooows. I’m so boooooored.
It’s a bit sad that seeing simple grass makes me this happy. When you’re out here, you forget the little things sometimes.
As much as I want to lie down and take a nap, I should keep walking. I’ll take some grass with me.
Walking is the only thing I can be sure of.
This pain is the only thing that keeps me alive.
What if this world is like a treadmill and I’m just walking in place?
I don’t want to think about that.
Luckily, there’s too much that doesn’t make sense, if that’s truly the case. Why is there grass here now and not before? Why is it getting...Taller?
It’s the same brown, coarse, prickly stuff, but it goes up to my knees now. I’m not sure how tall I am, but that’s about two of my shoes stacked ontop of eachother, so pretty tall as far as grass goes. When I look off into the distance, all I see in the same brown, dead, dusty underbrush.
I’m really tired now, so I’m going to go to sleep. Maybe I could make a bed with all this grass.
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The bed really helped. Better than sleeping on that cold, lonely stone. My back isn’t in pain (well, not as much pain). I still have that grass stuck in my waistband. It didn’t vanish. At least that’s a plus.
I’m going to keep walking and stop overthinking things.
So I’m sitting next to a particular section of the grass. And I’m waiting.
That strange sensation happened again.
I had to pee.
Why? I didn’t even drink anything. Hell, I didn’t even eat anything.
Shouldn’t I be dead? Why world?!
I guess I’ll stay here for now. Who knows, maybe a flower will grow or something stupid.
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Yellow + Brown = Green, it’s confirmed.
I need to start pissing more.
I never thought I’d see myself say that.
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I never mentioned this before, but underneath the grass is the stone. It’s a lot easier to see when the grass is nice and smooth like this. It just kinda juts out from the rock, no roots or anything like that. If I try to pull it out, it just tears by where it connects to the stone, leaving this stub thing.
If that is truly the case, then why is it green now? I’m not exactly sure how this stuff works, but that’s not how it works in the real world.
Real world, huh.
Did I live somewhere else? This is the only ‘world’ I’ve ever known, after all. Did I lose my memory?
It’s quite uncomfortable when I try to reach for it. It’s like when you’re going to do something, then stop, having no idea what you were going to do. It’s that horrible pit in your stomach.
It’s strange. When you feel déjà vu, you’ve probably never actually done that before, so why do we associate it with that feeling? Where does that even come from?
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I need to stop thinking about these things.ns 184.108.40.206da2