8. "Backtracking and the Role of her Entire Life"
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All that follows is true 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEkWThvsqA
But even so, 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBw5xlqqkjs
For every truth is a corresponding falsity 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSYCjuFLjg
And every image an equal mirror 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpF9gXV0hK
So on further inspection, not equal in the slightest 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlT8Pif7dN4
You've moved up my doe dear, 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkqyxqKQLZ
From 8 to 80 scenes. 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTIlG9Ff9B
All that follows is true.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAB3frq2t7c
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[missing]
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81. Found
Safe. 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjv1QUp1GeM
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9. "Poem in the Loosest Sense of the World IV"
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a - Outside
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Unable to sleep unable to drink trying not to relapse again old tracts of life and tacts forgot new positive flow now all different now 5 weeks clean and still dirty sex eyes working late like it would help, but still haven’t lapsed back that’s something but anything is something old thinking old thoughts this is my poem I am in the loosest sense a human being being what? in the absolute loosest sense of the world word and world back round the globe again staying late at the job everyone else hates reminise of harder times, common lapses then wish to rekindle delusion rekindle the illusions the memories which have warped in on themselves truly the loosest sense of all things life is at its loosest the further back you go my birth has warped itself out of my memory all those months of substance abuse have rolled around to seem bright and sunny I associate Villainous Thing the smell of sunscreen walks at night leather clothing glamourous life on the road being truly against the grain worshipping self-destruction searching for a life beneath my own where in which in which things would mean and feel more akin to that warped sense of those things so many years ago my body hurts but I must keep moving the fisting of life to the music Outside, to the music Outside it’s happening66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZqffL7Omg
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Now66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1p80oI3Sd
Not tomorrow66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9jpc2P4Rd
Yesterday66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQT616QhF3
It's happening now66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7s1gowFrx
The damage today66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumHxTTlGqC
The crazed and the misloved66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkd1fepcERB
It's happening now 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVmgOfNdAV
Not tomorrow.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsQlaJ0kd4
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b - Give me a Reason to Live this Life
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Give me a reason to live this life, the front doors open, the braying clothes line, the wind picks up and shatters to leaves 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgYnM4M8tg
All falling down around and the scepters are steep in the sky across the street and with frosty tops 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjx0vet3Ld6
They proclaim a love of height from chilly crosses and no birds try to mate them, leave well alone and the pigeons fly off 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVz6hHvdJtK
To find a hooting home in the trees and the rooftops and the city fare, or any other possible place than here 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMWWoog7xy
You’ve never seen them go and never seen them live, only ever saw them as scavengers66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcvTeSa1l9
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Scavengers in the street, they’re 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQHPsni8RP
Picking at feet with 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBN7oIw9pxm
Bloody combs looking for bread, I’m 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfKjO2wVuL
Crazy. See them come out now66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalD4ETYMYz
Treading around town, 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnztf5Dxjiv
Don't try to stop them, they’re 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKJqZQi26w
Starving, crazy. 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51HtJsat7i
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Split up into cities devoid of community 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8VwSVnFjFS
Left all dry and lost and the hunger so gnawing 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfzLc3PuPv
Before you step and hide your spare breadcrumbs 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPsJp6o5Yj
I know 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0Z9Taf6nI
I know 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwUyGrVqWW
I know that you hate them. 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WGx0NPq5W
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And the universe warps 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMUc5aIii8
And my blood flow slows 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsMvSPMfrio
And the loosest sense of the world just gets looser 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8vwrAAVGD
As we move further flow.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Y6H2GfsOa
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c - All is declining immediately
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Vampire bite. We are all declining most quickly locked away underneath the bed I am decaying very quickly now and no new ideas form, but the old just warp and shrink until I’m left without anything growing more distant seperation from the waves and rhythms of the past desperate to be optimistic 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJ7m27SuV6
I hear static when I cum66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqaS9g6D5Kk
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10. "Poem in the Loosest Sense of the World V: Found"
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a - What could have been the end...
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Mountains of leverage. Windows of sin. Life’s broken ruble on a bird’s shattered wing.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaV2usuQ32F
Pieced put with paper. Held on by string. Left not to die so not just anything. 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcrKe9DIYi
Holder of night. Bringer of day. Hold on to the flow or we all pass away. Curse now the dusk. 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9alx2x1QUB
Curse the ending. Forsake the glass away from its bending.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpe1GLQEjTA
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I long to end my endless night. Long to find an answer to thus. Longing to reach now a message or reason, a reason why66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7EjzIB23YC
I’ve made such a fuss. 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mJe7r2OII
This page has gone long and winged by some wisdom. And I have grown older, abandoned the dead. But now I do 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMieMJWBMEP
wonder if even in this asylum, am I truly free from the horrors I’ve bled? 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbMQgu4aXG
There is not a soul who is totally guiltless. There are no such souls who don’t live pure for life. And now as I sit here, in 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gikkAMOca
my endless habit, I long to be then, an impossible life.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhh3y0cH6jK
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This song it has reason. This song it has death. 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGAyBvNLmBA
The singing voices, they all have unrest. 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZZwcNMk9r
The singing continues. The prayer left unsaid. And no meaning is very found in the head. 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglc5KHSZR6
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End. Safe. Found.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8yKOPT4zs
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b - The Poem Revealed in the Inmost Light
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You awaken to find yourself in a dark voided space. There are no doors here and no means with which to escape, all is just an eternity window reflecting back yourself. And you walk inside, bound by red string and witness a tiny window of light which does not reflect your life or its trappings. This is the poem, revealed in your inmost night, a tiny nightlight which is only seen for faint glimpses at a time. You begin to backtrack and you can repeat this new process all that you like but eventually you will find once again yourself back in this wretched place, which all in all is just your head.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5EE5SIhia
The poem is not nearly full enough. It is scraps unhealed by time and each scrap ends with tiredness and fades into dark ashes. Words become disjointed and are only scraps in the wind. The endless wind in this endless night. 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9FIiLKO3x
We have backtracked back to the front of my finest self. I sat there on the bed, somewhat disappointed that I would stay another day in a voided space without an evil. But I came to decide that an Evil should be introduced to give me a purpose again, some new form of Horror to kick off from. I went 8 weeks clean and now I am dirty once more. I am filthy once again. Filthy and free and my endless song can now be read by me. You are in a voided black space where there is no grass and there are no trees with which to take the breeze and thus, all that weight is pressed upon you. But now see a brilliant bright array of colour fill the whole everything, all emanating from that tiny screen before you, one which just before had only faint glimpses into a grander picture: of something, (for instance). Now all is clear and open, and though thought when I return to that nightmare space of void static night, guided only by some faint symbol titled ‘time’, and may well not see how this way is true, I will now tell the truth and the total meaning of this winding page of fragmented words. The meaning is thus. All meanings are true. Contradictions can exist in perfect equilibrium. I live in decline, but this is also an incline. The world is in its loosest sense when you see it the clearest. This is a nightmare mind, trapped in itself, in a nightmare space and all inside it must be brought to see. All is true. It does not matter how you live once you exist. And once you exist, then you very much are real. My feelings and loves are controversial to many but I do not fight back them now and am in love with the ways which they glide and their sweet violent cadences, like a butterfly jammed inside a car exhaust, a women barely hanging on to life through the strength of a zip-tie or the hulking body of a man in freefall. 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PCs6ayJaG
I am inside this World. And this World is inside me. I am the most alive and living of all. I am OnlyLife. This is my meaning. This is the message revealed of the Poem in the Loosest Sense of the World.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPhvRAfOGC
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c - The Poem Revealed in the Inmost Night
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Houses align on this new dawn 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jCBOjvUJi
Once death lurked away, hidded beneath curtains of shame 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQpWMkryUr
When I was once to be awful ashamed of the life I had left to rubble 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7MnlIZK5Z
But now picking up the pieces of rubble I notice it is stained glass. 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VULLoYVih
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How ignorant to these houses aligned on this hill 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIFq6PA6Ic
Which are in fact not at all houses but great cathedrals which have fallen with time into lonely pillars 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgPfLrsOaa
Without arches, their groin vaults having only lived for so long 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLun4Wgf6I
No mason to uphold their fragility any longer 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrM2Lgfv0iT
This world is huge and carnivorous. 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnc59mWAJN
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You see now that this new light illuminates the ghosts of these buildings. And 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiUAKPm2x6
The ghosts are not figures, in the classic sense, but projections 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWbXGRWG5U
Of the buildings which once were was.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXpSS5mEdK
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And ingravings are seen on walls: 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFVotWAeoq
Part one: I am dead and wake 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDQVje5vYX
Part two: I feel a new awakening 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3AWdCCpkvR
Part three: which is long old by now and comes out shorter66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBdBotb1JN
Part four: I return to say my speech by train 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhq4VI1q1Lv
Part V: this was meant to become the end 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKILC1lsT5
Part 6: But then this 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOuIe3ZQ5g
Part 7: the beginning then, now, of the fina; end 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEH2q0KlgG
Part eight: Backtracking begins 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JSma0XRvm
Part 9: I begin what will become the end while still in rejecting sober 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQHZbScve2
10: drunk now, I become the ending.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LVNAgut2x
And that was Begbie’s story... 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoygyOIn8KY
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They’re putting me away but I’ll be back someday... 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8mpWKtp09
Coming home, back to families, my mind is on edge due to an end in sight. 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzR3h4NaC36
And I do not want this. 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3y5Yq4L2O
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Always take in more, for security, 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCblc8oAFwe
Now I fly. (…)66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6YPqbQ1DA
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d - Sadness Song
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[Enter the mind, stage right, weary] 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzI980wdgUh
The mind: 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qYyX7aR5P
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We touch the world 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FSXsBKAm8
And it all falls away 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizJgsKAbnv
We hear the word 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gdt1HncTn
But it all burns with the day 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOENQsL6jV
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Now our mother lies in blood 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotMVP95eO9
Father swims away 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNMCYE1DEI
And we find us all alone 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYxLMzW1N0
Sadness song plays. 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEducto8rK
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Was it found? 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpONzGfKQbg
What was spent? 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cYlUj4F5v
Now that everything is lost66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIoDY7fD2V
What was found? What was spent? 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsJP07NvCT
But a sadness song. 66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9I0FCg7sFz
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Drink another drink self-reflect some more everything disintegrating guidless nihilism this is me. Safe.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdpPKyTtRI
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