我鍾意同妳鬥氣，其實只係因為… （連載中） - 一百四十七

一百四十七

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既然而家係回憶緊往事，有件好撚戇鳩既事我覺得一定要提下既。不過話就話呢件事雖然好戇鳩，但如果要我再從頭揀多次，我諗我都係會照做…因為咁先符合我重義、睇重好兄既人設嘛…

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話說葉佩儀同埋洪偉賢佢哋啱啱拍拖既一段時間，我覺得儀賢兩人好似未正式進入情侶熱戀期咁，總係有一種相敬如賓既感覺。當然，我唔排除呢個只係我既錯覺，畢竟而家我同佢哋兩個見面既次數相比起響中學時代真係直線插水式下降…

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不過，我好快就確認咗呢個唔係我既錯覺…

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因為洪偉賢條仆街仔打黎搵我求救…

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「喂，乜嘢事啊？」

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「唉，有啲嘢想搵你幫幫手…」

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「點啊，又係關於八婆儀啊？」我問，雖然葉佩儀係洪偉賢既女朋友，但通常我一向都唔會避諱直接叫葉佩儀做八婆儀，而洪偉賢都唔介意。

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「係啊…」

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其實我見到洪偉賢打比我，都估到係同葉佩儀有關，因為自從畢業之後，條仆街仔都冇乜點特別打黎搵我。

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「其實即係咁，你而家都追到八婆儀，我仲有啲乜嘢可以幫到你？」我咁答，其實都有少少婉拒既意思響入面。

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誠實地面對自己喇，我真係唔想再幫洪偉賢喇…

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「我覺得…我同阿儀之間好似爭咁啲嘢。」洪偉賢聽唔出我既暗示，自顧自咁講嘢︰「唔…究竟爭咗啲乜嘢呢？」

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「唉，我點知你哋啊？」我無奈地道︰「你而家先係佢男朋友，係佢最親既人，你問我，我真係去問棵樹咩…」

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「唔係哩，你同佢咁friend，一定幫到我既！」洪偉賢鍥而不捨咁問。

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…

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講起同葉佩儀Friend，自從上次佢上黎我屋企勸掂爸爸之後，呢幾個禮拜我哋都冇再見過面，連電話都冇講過，最多係互相send下短訊比大家，點及得上洪偉賢你啊？

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「咁你想我點幫你啊？」面對好朋友既要求，我最後都係無辦法去托手肘…

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哈，可能咁先符合我既人設啩？

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「你幫我諗下點樣先可以同阿儀佢親密啲吖！」

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嘩賢哥，你老味，你啲要求都幾不知廉恥架喎！

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「吖，屌你咩，之前你連同佢表白都唔駛再問我架，反而拍咗拖之後，你仲問我要點樣先可以同阿儀再親密啲？」我忍唔住屌出黎︰「而且你係咪問錯人？我未拍過拖架…」

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而且重點係，明明我都鍾意葉佩儀，點解你會好意思搵我幫你發板？

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…

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唔係…呢個世界上好似得我自己知道自己係暗戀葉佩儀架啫…

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洪偉賢只係拍拖遇到啲問題，想向個好兄弟求救啫…

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唉，佢其實冇錯。

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「得喇，你之前夠未拍過拖、未媾過女喇，咪一樣比到意見我去媾阿儀？」洪偉賢毫不在意地道︰「冇問題喎，我信得過你，你係我既戀愛軍師黎架嘛！」

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搵個毫無戀愛經驗既人去做你既戀愛軍師，真係你先諗得出，有時都唔知你係真膠定假膠…

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不過既然佢拜託得我，我又仲當佢係好兄弟，唯有勉為其難咁幫佢諗諗計喇…

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「你哋係咪爭咗啲激情啊？」我問。

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「必哥，我夠知我哋之間唔夠激情喇，所以我咪問下你應該點做囉！」洪偉賢串返我轉頭。

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「屌你咩，又係你話我冇拍過拖都信得過我，而家又串返我轉頭！」我屌鳩佢，老老實實我都真係唔想幫架喇，係你夾硬要逼我幫你咋嘛！

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「軍師息怒！係我錯！係我錯！」洪偉賢陪笑道︰「軍師，請出山幫助朕！」

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「朕你老味啊！你咪試下叫佢儀豬囉！拍拖啲拖友仔好鍾意響對方個名後面加個"豬"字架喇，夠晒激情啊！賢豬豬！」我仲特登響「賢豬豬」呢三個字上面加重語氣。

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老實講，我一向極少發朋友脾氣，因為葉佩儀既關係，呢句說話我已經係有少少發晦氣咁講架嘞。

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點知洪偉賢既回應先至搞笑，佢竟然真係話︰「我試過架喇，但係阿儀好唔鍾意我咁叫佢啊！」

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搞到我忍唔住笑咗出黎，道︰「屌，你咁叫佢，冇比佢打鑊金咪算好囉！」

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我幻想葉佩儀比人叫「儀豬」既時候果個反白眼既表情…

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屌，唔得，真係好好笑！

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咁樣笑咗下，我啲氣都消返少少，繼續幫洪偉賢諗計仔。

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「咁點啊？我應該點樣先可以同阿儀激情啲啊？」洪偉賢苦惱地問。

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「激情啲，你每日同佢錫多幾啖，咁樣咪夠激情囉！」其實我都諗唔到有乜計，不過接吻應該係增加激情既其中一個好辦法，玩模Ｏ市民既時候，都係接吻加好感度最多架喇。

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喂，咁我係未拍過拖，係用模Ｏ市民黎做參考架喇！

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唉，呢個建議真係忍住痛提出黎...

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「…」點知洪偉賢響另一面竟然唔出聲…

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「…」

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「…」

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「你唔係話比我聽，你同阿儀拍咗就黎兩個月拖，仲係錫都未錫過吓嘛？」我問。

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（待續）1155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwPkbQDLgT

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