x
-免責聲明：故事內容涉及以人類加入妖怪食物鏈情節，純粹以現時生物學生態類比，只屬幻想與虛構，如有雷同實屬巧合 - 213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQWXGcjBQv
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzBYOfz1ki
「喂，華仔。」條鬼佬以鬼佬腔廣東話叫我。「今晚有無節目？無就一齊去一野咬到d女一頸血啦？」213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwz2lISnomy
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5CwCUr6uj
問返果時做咩咬鳩我？佢話，因為佢飲醉左酒喎。而家我焗住要同佢住。無計啦，就算嬲鳩佢咬鳩我，都要同返d生活習慣一樣既人往，做野起上黎方便d呀嘛。213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypBiCljTeT
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6r2azAIUWk
「戇鳩仔先會用牙隊落人條頸，噴到成身都係。」我話。213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7btmWpS0J
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgXTt5Pazy
「哈哈，我係戇鳩仔。咁先好玩！」鬼佬話。其實鬼佬份人都幾nice，有少少英國紳士feel。不過鬼叫佢咬鳩我咩？咬鳩我我就屌佢架啦。213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkLERIZBwb
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VhpcOtvy2
鬼佬平時真係會著到成個吸血鬼咁，典型英國風格既吸血鬼。每年Halloween佢就最出位架啦。佢對於班本土派香港殭屍就好少理，因為佢吸親既，都係鬼妹。美國妹英國妹俄妹賓妹索高維亞妹，有邊種妹佢未食過？所以呢，佢又唔會話搶哂班殭屍風頭。有時真係想學下佢咁豁達。英國佬就係咁。BTW佢話佢最憎蘇格蘭吸血鬼。213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuoWUDrig9Q
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa8vUJTfpzi
我地住埋同一個單位，位於元朗某間村屋。如果你都住附近，不防留意下果有架老爺benz，就係我地所在既位置啦。咁當然唔會話埋你知咩車款啦:o)213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMS4Swta33z
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7jxlBpNIl
不過鬼佬佢佢從來唔會渣，因為佢會直接變蝙蝠飛去目的地，渣架車過老蘭？佢先唔會啦，過海好撚貴喎佢話。所以成日叫我郁下架車，費事電池無電，叫人黎救車又洗幾舊水。213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNAh4g7VSv
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8Vx9gOYE0
（旁白：點解你地成日乜都話貴？）213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6XaHGGdiM
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcGv9u2DH0
屌啦，吸血鬼都要洗錢架！我地要一日2餐，一個月要飲一次人血，果兩餐唔係錢呀？仲有交租呢？燈油火蠟呢？香港做咩唔洗錢架？做吸血鬼，係香港仲難生存，都唔知邊忽有血！鬼佬就話唔洗點做野，幾百年前銀行D錢，今日仲收緊息，都咪話唔和味！至於我，就係雙失吸血鬼。213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡammYmsPyR4
失業、失戀。213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6qhLYYdz3
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAnGGiaxhk
不過咁，呢部黑色 Benz都叫做變左我溝女既工具。213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3mAJu3q2g
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgfv8eEqHo
呀係，小姓劉，名叫做華仔，德華。因為我好鐘意做愛，所以d人又會叫我做愛德華，或者華仔。二十年前，1996年係24歲。今年，2016年，個樣仍然係24歲。213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DDCuokvZe
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnypDinkzJE
當年未有SARS，大學生好吃香。今年，大學生做慘過擔爛泥怪。我雖然用左十年時間，讀左個degree，但都唔知做乜好。我呢D夜行生物，除左看更都唔知做咩好囉。試過係老蘭d夜店做過一排bartender既，不過環境太嘈了，吸血鬼對耳唔多頂得順。213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvntFXxw9bp
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77josBjD72
但係，最近見左份新工，希望可以搵到食啦...我諗，應該都幾過癮既。213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmi9f4cRjs
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4trfsPFP5
====================================================213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOX4FYJvmN4
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRLlV224ON
「華仔下嘛，請坐。」一個著住西裝的女人話。213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCZdLprQmx
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxL4QopYzY
「..唔該。」我話。「可唔可以拉左個窗簾或者..較暗少少個燈。」213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRh306CZQA
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6AI5xN8WJc
「先生，我都想請你除左副超先，我地先至可以繼續。」個女人話。213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIaYEdDTPF
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE9j9N2ep8B
超，除咪除！吸血鬼唔鐘意見光姐，唔代表見光會死。213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RGTxjkNzg
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhP8QOSaUK
「愛德華先生，想請問下你對於你申請既職位，有幾了解？同埋有咩期望呢？」個女人問我。213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjlhkxTPzk
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Cs18A4ogM
「咩呀...殺人之嘛下嘛。」我話。213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡViHdFvU0Jy
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡts6xUnyHSG
「你的確講得無錯...」女人話。「不過...我地指定要殺既人物，一定要以特定方法令佢死亡，唔係只係殺。你知啦，香港地呀嘛。」213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQVdtrUdf7
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbqMlVLdI9
無錯，我見呢份工就係全職殺手。當然唔係上jobDB就搵到啦，點都要靠D門路先至搵到。（唔好問我邊度搵）213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KxNE6ieNM
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjkh878C7X
（旁白：香港有殺手架咩？）213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXgBYWx19i
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWOL7IORHO
你地以為香港無殺手？哈哈，咁你地就錯了....你地自己睇下政府公佈既每年香港失蹤人口數字啦，每年穩定地有幾百人。我可以話，除左比我地呢類人外生物食左之外，都係殺手所為。213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCgnpiJLQ9
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4KlVsm6dL
「明既明既...」我話。「不過可唔可以舉少少例呢？」213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66oA4DEL9o
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAu4C2VPC4i
「我地係你正式加入前，唔可以講太多。」女人話。213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hFp5sHftF
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3K1kYVTCY
「咁我加入囉。」我說。213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEfbAvt4Jm
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAdnXS9U2L
「等等先....先生，我都未知道你適唔適合我地呢份工作。」女人企起身，指住一個紙板人。「我想請你係500米外，刺殺佢比我睇下。工具有哂係檯面，你可以用任何方法。」213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYUeqqcZtm
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27jGXq4hj8
我望住檯上面，有刀有弓箭有球棒仲有支甜筒，就係無槍。213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1YMaRvehT
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPXPb81Ldo
不過都好，比槍我反而唔識用。一個正常香港人有幾可掂過槍呀？213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRluyernE8
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI64bbNKCJZ
「開始得未呀？」我問。213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CHhnl5pVf
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDz3hgS221
女人點頭。213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvu8O0MoisK
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJeTc1Gc4XG
難得有機會，我當然要玩返少少花招啦，豈有此理個女人睇少我？區區一個人類....睇少我？213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62b3pW1hPH
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHxSRtfoIK
「颯！」一下風聲，紙牌人既頭先經比我撕左落黎，係我手上。而我仍然企係原位。213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznUKnIizOQ
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLY3xqE7Rz
「....」女人呆左。「你點做到架？」213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNLcb2Y6xkA
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUy3JkLtg9
「秘密。」我羅住個人頭放係我塊面前面當做面具。213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fdiluFh0z
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWlpkaFbcQw
「....」女人開始好好奇。「起碼都話我知呢個係咩門派既武功？」213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3lAGp3SmK
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90oWyK4UeL
我轉一轉個方向再擺pose：「都係秘密。」213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7f9WoOLmF6
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayL3UmPtVA
