很久很久沒有寫文章了。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XKUkfMT65
就像之前短篇的敘事，並非是美好而溫馨的。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXUh6ydDDr
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『世界上最遙遠的距離』70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3ERVIkd34
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所以我看著你對著別人露出，那不再屬於我的笑容。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2Zmgt2ApU
在你身後的我咬唇，轉身離開了那裡。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhGdG9sRIn
不能後悔。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhNKmlAA7j
不能怨恨。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQpC4D78pr
不能再想。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfS9z3PbcT
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因為。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqiG3mKUEUI
是我先推開了你給予我的擁抱。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR77timGN5S
拒絕了你對我的情感。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JGQMBjjkx
忽視了你眼底的情慾。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Wc37oACAO
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因此。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVCe5Kgjyq
我怎麼能哭泣。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeG8ej98kH
我怎麼能悔恨。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95qWQfu2Nq
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因為是我自己造成這一切的啊。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiLrHTw09G
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZtHjIaBT9
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「明明做那樣選擇的是自己，可為什麼還是感到了悔恨。」70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOlEXvVwbm
「拒絕了你之後才愛上你。」70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Z50KsS4UN
「這樣的我令人厭惡。」70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKLoz091x1
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*70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFXBUpB0SH
錯過與放棄。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hEjveuWOH
於是悔恨交織。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBJcUenvCW
如果雙方都互相喜歡，但在不對的時間說了同樣的話，那麼結局終究也只是失去。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMa9reTpJh
但造成這種局面的卻是自己。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslpzA0PZ8m
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『If……』70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEvzMe0Aox
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基爾伯特忽然頓住，熱燙的淚液毫無預警的自他頰面滑下，五臟六腑彷彿抽離血液似的，壓迫他喉嚨，使他急促地呼吸著。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyq7dg8mVno
半晌，在這沒有任何人存在的家中，他漸漸地停止了哭泣。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIY0LnJuEK
望著淌滿自己體液的手，基爾伯特緩緩勾起一抹笑，眼裡模糊成晶亮的光景，閃爍著鑽石色彩。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡechvdIJW6I
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如果任何淚水都是有理由的話。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGqBBzsBcA
那麼，基爾伯特兀自忖思，他這種毫無緣由乍然傾瀉的疼痛，又代表著什麼。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDCGGnSSFw
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寫完後，友人看完之後畫了r18的圖........為什麼會是這種感想呢？（苦笑70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBXcd09P66
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『給十年後未來的你』70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQqPQNMFRy
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『WEST！我們到樹下埋寶藏吧！』70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbz8TMhUTvE
活在記憶中地嗓音依然清晰如昨。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7xEY5xsxa
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那時才剛結束分裂局面，國內一切都不穩固，有天兄長忽然很開心的拉著他手徑往外衝，手裡還拿著一罐玻璃瓶，透明的瓶子可見折半的白紙。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowYQsVlED9
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGAytO05Wv7
『你要記得十年之後再打開喔。』70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CkojKKhaF
那天午後的天氣十分的溫暖，沐浴在彷佛受神祝福的光輝下，由於掘土而整張臉髒呼呼的兄長掛著笑容，一邊叮囑著他。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpuBr3AlJna
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那時他究竟回答了些什麼呢……？70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSgk43czLr
至今回想卻支離破碎。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCulJToHZP
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唯一記得的是在那一場日光中，他眼淚似乎就要因為日光而融化出眼眶的疼痛。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzhDO7RzPL
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如果存在的奇跡是真的存在的話。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdX9DNMROD
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那麼，那一天之後就是盡頭了吧。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxcc462LP6l
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早就該死亡了。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFf86EGiOfM
早就該離開了。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8C7llXPAm
早就……70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTBZQFxrQX
早就什麼也無法碰觸了……70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqA6Ncx9i7T
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重逢後的每一天清晨醒來看見兄長安然無恙的睡躺在他身旁時都是奇跡。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2lKgyfStk
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他們能夠的相處的時間那麼少，少到讓他後悔莫及。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmv3QFwbRA
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為什麼不早這樣做呢……70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQ4AnqS5Xw
為什麼不能忍耐呢……70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5aDJV267L2
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一個失去人民與國土的國家，究竟能走到什麼地步……70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa1iQ0IFQ9v
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『不要哭。』70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUg8XqwTcB
最後，兄長只是這麼說。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpjcC2isvb
在風雪漸大的夜裡，在背後閃耀著五顏六色的煙花中這般輕喃。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWN53KAW1d
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那之後他仍舊過著一樣的日子。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHs2FYcc7kO
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只是再也沒有人在家裡等他，再也沒有人在耳邊吵鬧。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0cnU7sqkF
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到底過了多久呢？70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDKoFT9ZQh
也許久到他連幾年都不記得了吧。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWIbIC7dE6
他總是覺得兄長還存在在任何地方，只是他找不到罷了。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtO4qoruPNc
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於是忽然那麼一天他想起那一個寶物。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mIDplPtnz
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGCVbrwPwU
當時候的他寫了給未來的信件，那麼兄長一定也寫了什麼吧……70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmS3rYMxVDk
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他拼命的挖土。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMuAkaLYNV
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不過幾分，鐵制的蓋子便從泥裡翻出。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxxm5F0KbA
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他費力的扭轉生銹的圓蓋，然後拿出放在裡面的信件。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxFrrxdH5r
他第一個就翻開了兄長的信件，想看看兄長寫了什麼，卻愕然的啞口。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuiqSGnslqF
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那是一面白紙。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKDd7Zu1Tu
由於在土裡待著，染上了土黃的 斑點。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3BkRPDujU
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上頭甚麼也沒有寫。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHewll4EfR
空白的，就像不曾有筆跡存在過。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJivbhl1hk
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『不要哭。』腦裡不斷地迴響著兄長的聲音。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdPSKmdbZX
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他臉上卻佈滿了淚痕。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yrCckItD7
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*********70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsoCmKqvSm
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看新聞有感。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzCXulmVHf
新聞描述的非常哀傷，但我卻想到會不會是因為埋的人早就知道自己不存於世所以什麼也不寫，因為已經沒有未來了。所以寫甚麼都只是惘然。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGa8i2WRhVJ
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「關於雪的聯想」70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3hEvJRlXn
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO29hVHYPYp
關於雪的記憶，充滿著童話與火爐，天冷時的熱飲，依偎在你懷裡聽著你美好的聲音。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqchsas5cO
那時總是小，張著眼只注視得到你，伸出手也只能觸碰到你滿佈繭的掌。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVu1GNYGTF
乾澀的，卻熱和著。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2OLIgXYzE
『你聽』70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhzgQacqKr
你抱著我幼小的身軀，指腹抹過窗戶。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rPKCyA9T3
『雪聲落下來時候，是像這樣，一閃一閃的響著喔』70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJZf09NyNh
室內的火材劈啪地冒出零星火花。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKnjEF8m8N
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『踏雪無聲』70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡippwlzZOR0
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乍然寂靜無聲。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWPB7M3gkJ
路德維希倏地轉身，一片銀白雪亮，折射著夜裡的月色，令人刺目。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvJmsnWbuq
他張大眼，張口不能言。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUG2OZ0Jwz
方才和他說話的兄長消失的無影無蹤，明明還有餘溫的聲音，卻消失了，而在他身後蜿蜒的只有他一個人的足跡。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5KXw5TGnG
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「遙遠的童話故事」70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFTNJwS6GI
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第一次看完索多瑪的120天的那陣子，只要他每天一想起片段都會忍不住嘔吐，即使他燒了書也無法竭止嘔出穢物的反胃。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5LKoZtg9c
現在他已經想不起故事，彷彿刻意消除痕跡似的，除了殘留在口腔裡膽汁的回憶之外，他腦中裡沒有任何關於故事的字句。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAdE1IBYWq
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可即使一切什麼也不記得，但那種深深地醜陋情感卻扎根在他身體各位，完全無法擺脫。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX33RH9qeok
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『請幸福的……』70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZxVxIahp8
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如果那一天到來，不要挽留我。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJ43CosKHU
請你自由的、幸福的跟另外一個人生活下去吧。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmGFqi7N0O
我會在那裏望著你，微笑的，流淚的。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYvxpv0Hhh
因為我從來就沒有資格擁有你，我只是自我滿足的活在自己認為的幸福時光裡罷了。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELLTfwBnws
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奢望什麼的也只是虛幻。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuOo57Hpyf
我無法相信話語的真實。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBnh5fZyxZ
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我知道，你愛我。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZjutqexcZ
可是「我愛你」，這是親人間也會說的話。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ01ZuWkxqj
我當然也從你口裡聽到。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL77ON0T5ex
在早上醒來時給我的早安吻，在下午你歸來的玄關門口的吻，在夜裡沉睡前的晚安吻。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzdixAZV15
你總是會說：「我愛你。」70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Nb8XDyg8N
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是的。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQeRCQlSrK
你是愛我的，可是你不是愛我的。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhcZ3KVtHI
那並非是我自己誤解。我總是看著你，總是微笑的看著，總是嬉鬧的看著你，總是在戰爭裡看著你。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxivr4kG3Af
我無時不刻的看著你。所以很清楚，比你自己還清楚你自己。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37FqDp82BU
我們之間緊緊聯繫的，不過是名為親情的愛情。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqM9lyETTL
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『後日談』70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVlpPgJbZs
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「喜歡你喔」他這麼說。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtbRa0fIpf
他不著痕跡的回望，面前的兄長哼著歌。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5P4KGIr4b4
然後他又重複了一次。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJ1jlRDn0Y
「嗯」即使那是沒有任何感情、單調的話語，只是重複音節發生振動的合成。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfHWAVaeEf
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPtN0K6BKO
喜歡你喔，所以不會愛你喔。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOFzx3kOiS
基爾伯特哼著不成調的小曲，臉上滿是笑意。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuehe7LVege
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAYV1X4OoE
不知道什麼時候發現到的，可是已經為時已晚，那時兄長早就笑容滿面的將他從愛情裡排拒開。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9T8cIFFGc
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「十年」70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTVv66K5DH
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有一天他從廣播聽見一首來自東方國度的歌，淳厚的男歌手看似平淡的唱著那歌詞。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmIpnFTGwn
曲終時候，他忽然淚流滿面。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJiIzyNJtNA
就在他幾乎無法反應的片刻。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡheQr8jYdUA
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKz5hmtujJi
熱辣的液體不斷從體內湧出，喉嚨彷彿被壓抑著，嘶啞不成調。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQRz3JsmEj
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因為太感同身受了。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkRBOXEUOH
他和路德分開的時間以人類而言是那麼久，自然，有很多事情已經不像他記憶那樣的美好。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpm4gDhx0Eh
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccthr1CwrF
幾十年前他們是兄弟是親人，所以能夠牽手，能夠擁抱，能夠親吻。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbFRKIw3V8
現在，他們仍然是親人、兄弟，可以牽手、擁抱，但卻也沒有親吻過彼此。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPgGis1CJy2
就像是緊守著什麼界線，彼此誰也沒有越過的意思。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdqhrxfUIw
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx34rqaVtaB
只是一廂情願的愛戀罷了。基爾伯特淺笑地望著窗外那一片青空。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYn25Csm74
70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqZQXQvCD2
那些在彼此生命裡空白的日子，他就像是戀愛的人一樣，一直渴望著見到他，一直在被剝削的勞力中自我安慰，一直、一直維持著自己的意志，在配合可笑的服從中，盡力維持著自己的意識，也許是曉得一旦遺忘，他就再也不可能回到路德身邊的緣故。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EB6TYItT6
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但像這種自以為是的愛情，怎麼可能會得到相等的回報？70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5We8SjstVy
他似乎想的太過美好了，就像那道牆破碎以後，就認為一切都可以海闊天空，哪知道，無論在哪都沒有差。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡap2TjU4C6M
他始終是，一個人。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcP1WGod3JN
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他卻天真以為，能夠讓對方愛上自己。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxE5g3yHplg
明明他們之間除了兄弟的親情之外，什麼也不剩。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQWHI6KBpg
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『 』70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Yev3zJ8Fo
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他決定要去旅行。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoiOz405tE
趁著那一天弟弟加班的日子，他簡單收拾了行李，和家裏養著的狗一一道別之後，他關上家門，最後看了一眼他一定不會再開啟的門，而後邁步往街上走去。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRxIPiAXva
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路德也許會生氣吧。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatRBGRSgUs
基爾伯特悠閒地走在路邊，一邊淡淡想著。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapVVAEaO8w
不過，他不會解釋的，也不會後悔的。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZovckGs33
哼著不知打哪學會的曲調，午後的陽光撒在他背上，熠熠生輝。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzKWxB2HKY
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路德維希一如往常因為加班的緣故晚到了家。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeecnJ58D9
在還沒打開家門口的時候，他還在想要怎麼跟兄長解釋，然後一開門入眼的卻是一整片黑暗。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2SYhvln2lb
他思緒有些混雜的楞在家門口，半晌無法言語。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhIT85lUnd
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家裏養著的三隻狗衝上前趴住他。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90gXC1qTRA
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基爾伯特的身影幾乎消失。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKOWsOeuZI
那之後他走遍了住家周圍，甚至在後面幾天不斷搜尋著，用網路、用人力，但是彷彿電腦裡的資料被消除後的乾淨，到處都找不到他的兄長，雖然偶而會接獲零星的消息說在哪有誰曾見過他的行蹤，他也曾前往該地，但一切一切卻像是被嘲笑一樣的徒勞無功。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡweyFVB5UUT
他感到十分焦躁，甚至湧上不安的思緒。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9u3i6TmNQ
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「你有見過這個男人嗎？」70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHwC5MlC8P
他在街上隨意攔截了某位路人，並從懷裡掏出那張因為過於頻繁使用充滿皺摺的相片問著對方。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEDxLOpeSL
搖搖頭，被他攔下的人表示從未見過。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybbxMEdmIe
「……謝謝。不好意思，打擾您的時間了。」70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6rW4F8KYe
也許是疑惑，離開前那路人還頻頻回望他幾眼，大約是在想這人是怪人嘛，尋人這事不是要找警察解決的嗎。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BLvMyOE7K
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他收起相片，忖思。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWc2cEnlJe
已經找了這麼多年，從那天兄長消失在家中開始，他就拿著這張很久前兄長拍攝下的個人照，在他放假時候到各個地點去尋找。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAs5NkjKwIB
但是，得到的答案總是千篇一律，他們從未見過他。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2iCyvoYl1
伊莉莎白跟羅德里赫也勸過他該放棄了，因為死心總比冀望那幾乎不存在的希望來的好。70Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYqCphEDJ8
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也許是該放棄的時候了。ns216.73.216.72da2
