很久很久沒有寫文章了。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljbJxHQ9ql
就像之前短篇的敘事，並非是美好而溫馨的。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUB77auka3G
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『世界上最遙遠的距離』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZZGnIZspg
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所以我看著你對著別人露出，那不再屬於我的笑容。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSAS6hQoRn
在你身後的我咬唇，轉身離開了那裡。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPe5wKHIjT3
不能後悔。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFSBSmswguT
不能怨恨。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Amndqmk1h
不能再想。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDtDOjAHbI
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因為。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvkxMT778g
是我先推開了你給予我的擁抱。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIR9xrUvsvz
拒絕了你對我的情感。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9ff10wztY
忽視了你眼底的情慾。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaMWFYmMG14
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因此。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZlwP7KFIL
我怎麼能哭泣。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZa4alNF5Qt
我怎麼能悔恨。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9SFv2ruOv0
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因為是我自己造成這一切的啊。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltB2hmPw8l
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhZPBvejrX
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「明明做那樣選擇的是自己，可為什麼還是感到了悔恨。」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hXSQlXvtf
「拒絕了你之後才愛上你。」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQDZOxR8xa
「這樣的我令人厭惡。」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapgpv5lpNI
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*60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCmWUIzXLo
錯過與放棄。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKnItcl8Aw
於是悔恨交織。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cc65GmPV9
如果雙方都互相喜歡，但在不對的時間說了同樣的話，那麼結局終究也只是失去。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWItxJiVnd
但造成這種局面的卻是自己。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5wEqTxzM1
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『If……』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hwmBo6sbo
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基爾伯特忽然頓住，熱燙的淚液毫無預警的自他頰面滑下，五臟六腑彷彿抽離血液似的，壓迫他喉嚨，使他急促地呼吸著。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHFtWneesV
半晌，在這沒有任何人存在的家中，他漸漸地停止了哭泣。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWItDWy8FmF
望著淌滿自己體液的手，基爾伯特緩緩勾起一抹笑，眼裡模糊成晶亮的光景，閃爍著鑽石色彩。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9t2kuepSpt
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如果任何淚水都是有理由的話。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFAORE74Ys
那麼，基爾伯特兀自忖思，他這種毫無緣由乍然傾瀉的疼痛，又代表著什麼。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBCsQBUUDx
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*60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAENOrUvk2h
寫完後，友人看完之後畫了r18的圖........為什麼會是這種感想呢？（苦笑60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bSTHalGzb
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『給十年後未來的你』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHyYAAg9CH
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『WEST！我們到樹下埋寶藏吧！』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrxzsa8Bz9
活在記憶中地嗓音依然清晰如昨。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtxwwppe6K
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那時才剛結束分裂局面，國內一切都不穩固，有天兄長忽然很開心的拉著他手徑往外衝，手裡還拿著一罐玻璃瓶，透明的瓶子可見折半的白紙。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZpqSW6KD9
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmo4fPg7BxT
『你要記得十年之後再打開喔。』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQwyiOEbUV
那天午後的天氣十分的溫暖，沐浴在彷佛受神祝福的光輝下，由於掘土而整張臉髒呼呼的兄長掛著笑容，一邊叮囑著他。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvPysz4hCT
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那時他究竟回答了些什麼呢……？60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjZg8bk1U2
至今回想卻支離破碎。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALEZAENAbJ
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唯一記得的是在那一場日光中，他眼淚似乎就要因為日光而融化出眼眶的疼痛。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITypFWpO8n
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如果存在的奇跡是真的存在的話。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IUzZ2rRgB
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那麼，那一天之後就是盡頭了吧。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMp0YpwwWPT
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早就該死亡了。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRk5xkjEZNb
早就該離開了。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvpQR9yyF5
早就……60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ufIqiprTd
早就什麼也無法碰觸了……60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEVWAVFyUF
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YGyEpQR0K
重逢後的每一天清晨醒來看見兄長安然無恙的睡躺在他身旁時都是奇跡。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1XRkTKSq2
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他們能夠的相處的時間那麼少，少到讓他後悔莫及。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvIDGHk5dG
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為什麼不早這樣做呢……60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe7avr8T5Nt
為什麼不能忍耐呢……60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6zI3xmbwB
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一個失去人民與國土的國家，究竟能走到什麼地步……60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVrctPksJq
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『不要哭。』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPpKGEsrg3
最後，兄長只是這麼說。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDyjQq6OzWh
在風雪漸大的夜裡，在背後閃耀著五顏六色的煙花中這般輕喃。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFcEMdQlkN
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那之後他仍舊過著一樣的日子。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0a0XGK2dO
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只是再也沒有人在家裡等他，再也沒有人在耳邊吵鬧。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhInNZwX4h9
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到底過了多久呢？60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5j4vtuFZp
也許久到他連幾年都不記得了吧。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvS2qhSC3dI
他總是覺得兄長還存在在任何地方，只是他找不到罷了。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJnliBB0Ff
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於是忽然那麼一天他想起那一個寶物。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsm1S5T9jK
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當時候的他寫了給未來的信件，那麼兄長一定也寫了什麼吧……60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpDyIlAv1N
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他拼命的挖土。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtNm9zVFrW
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不過幾分，鐵制的蓋子便從泥裡翻出。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8xEsOterl
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他費力的扭轉生銹的圓蓋，然後拿出放在裡面的信件。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGkFd3OOo5
他第一個就翻開了兄長的信件，想看看兄長寫了什麼，卻愕然的啞口。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ehhDxTZJR
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那是一面白紙。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRJaYAizh9
由於在土裡待著，染上了土黃的 斑點。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63qBpYmpND
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上頭甚麼也沒有寫。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYAMiZLTcDc
空白的，就像不曾有筆跡存在過。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSv47jV37RG
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『不要哭。』腦裡不斷地迴響著兄長的聲音。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzMFiTz9pF
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他臉上卻佈滿了淚痕。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJf7bjuOIbE
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*********60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYde5P1ujP
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看新聞有感。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCx0OJevElc
新聞描述的非常哀傷，但我卻想到會不會是因為埋的人早就知道自己不存於世所以什麼也不寫，因為已經沒有未來了。所以寫甚麼都只是惘然。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA80lpSETT0
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「關於雪的聯想」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnHkJDym3S
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關於雪的記憶，充滿著童話與火爐，天冷時的熱飲，依偎在你懷裡聽著你美好的聲音。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGitxiRBqp
那時總是小，張著眼只注視得到你，伸出手也只能觸碰到你滿佈繭的掌。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJXB6AgAe0
乾澀的，卻熱和著。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujZN1nvBme
『你聽』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivtiplAzy4
你抱著我幼小的身軀，指腹抹過窗戶。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VVOUYkLu6
『雪聲落下來時候，是像這樣，一閃一閃的響著喔』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nb1AAB669
室內的火材劈啪地冒出零星火花。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUhdaHYf3N
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『踏雪無聲』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKV4OsYKhhW
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乍然寂靜無聲。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhim272U22t
路德維希倏地轉身，一片銀白雪亮，折射著夜裡的月色，令人刺目。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5snMGcphpl
他張大眼，張口不能言。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhWvHIODH1
方才和他說話的兄長消失的無影無蹤，明明還有餘溫的聲音，卻消失了，而在他身後蜿蜒的只有他一個人的足跡。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkzE15CWQl
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「遙遠的童話故事」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSvBSlFOKo
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第一次看完索多瑪的120天的那陣子，只要他每天一想起片段都會忍不住嘔吐，即使他燒了書也無法竭止嘔出穢物的反胃。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbrd2jMBWe
現在他已經想不起故事，彷彿刻意消除痕跡似的，除了殘留在口腔裡膽汁的回憶之外，他腦中裡沒有任何關於故事的字句。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4Ehrwqk5a
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可即使一切什麼也不記得，但那種深深地醜陋情感卻扎根在他身體各位，完全無法擺脫。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTc6KdmjQe
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『請幸福的……』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZOrN3JQFn
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如果那一天到來，不要挽留我。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5NfzUifDe
請你自由的、幸福的跟另外一個人生活下去吧。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxukN4L0G8
我會在那裏望著你，微笑的，流淚的。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFQQYRizi1
因為我從來就沒有資格擁有你，我只是自我滿足的活在自己認為的幸福時光裡罷了。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLw2cSctow
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奢望什麼的也只是虛幻。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSu95gamG9s
我無法相信話語的真實。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyimtmXuN8
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我知道，你愛我。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhASOzF7sT3
可是「我愛你」，這是親人間也會說的話。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRtzgaVb7p
我當然也從你口裡聽到。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwiNCzqOWiN
在早上醒來時給我的早安吻，在下午你歸來的玄關門口的吻，在夜裡沉睡前的晚安吻。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtiGMVyUQW
你總是會說：「我愛你。」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsTWTqx1ww
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是的。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXlnl9xsah
你是愛我的，可是你不是愛我的。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04dhGRjXtL
那並非是我自己誤解。我總是看著你，總是微笑的看著，總是嬉鬧的看著你，總是在戰爭裡看著你。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8o9jMig8Kj
我無時不刻的看著你。所以很清楚，比你自己還清楚你自己。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzAKuuBnhl
我們之間緊緊聯繫的，不過是名為親情的愛情。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkumPesZeS
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『後日談』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRoLLKhRVD
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「喜歡你喔」他這麼說。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUE8qPy6MEE
他不著痕跡的回望，面前的兄長哼著歌。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2iZ7Nnxqq
然後他又重複了一次。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxk2hd0V6SX
「嗯」即使那是沒有任何感情、單調的話語，只是重複音節發生振動的合成。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR36eFbuRbk
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWmWOnmrFV
喜歡你喔，所以不會愛你喔。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZud8qVxhR
基爾伯特哼著不成調的小曲，臉上滿是笑意。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrLQWQ0as1
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不知道什麼時候發現到的，可是已經為時已晚，那時兄長早就笑容滿面的將他從愛情裡排拒開。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5EcOdVfwV
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「十年」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3tb3rwT8v
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有一天他從廣播聽見一首來自東方國度的歌，淳厚的男歌手看似平淡的唱著那歌詞。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarYkKf7Mbb
曲終時候，他忽然淚流滿面。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbCFAhMQeCu
就在他幾乎無法反應的片刻。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSDsRPlCc6
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfNO0nVpwG
熱辣的液體不斷從體內湧出，喉嚨彷彿被壓抑著，嘶啞不成調。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8s9RHnVRQ
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因為太感同身受了。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTzkZ7ruxh
他和路德分開的時間以人類而言是那麼久，自然，有很多事情已經不像他記憶那樣的美好。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLHWL1bqxM
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBk0zV7eHD
幾十年前他們是兄弟是親人，所以能夠牽手，能夠擁抱，能夠親吻。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpISjz1UgU
現在，他們仍然是親人、兄弟，可以牽手、擁抱，但卻也沒有親吻過彼此。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3m27yYv3ER
就像是緊守著什麼界線，彼此誰也沒有越過的意思。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhG7BYViwN
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxIeUiMFrO
只是一廂情願的愛戀罷了。基爾伯特淺笑地望著窗外那一片青空。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡklyg7MoM64
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1H8W2KTEDG
那些在彼此生命裡空白的日子，他就像是戀愛的人一樣，一直渴望著見到他，一直在被剝削的勞力中自我安慰，一直、一直維持著自己的意志，在配合可笑的服從中，盡力維持著自己的意識，也許是曉得一旦遺忘，他就再也不可能回到路德身邊的緣故。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJH3juu15ka
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iLVjCmFhN
但像這種自以為是的愛情，怎麼可能會得到相等的回報？60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡddiDncPRq4
他似乎想的太過美好了，就像那道牆破碎以後，就認為一切都可以海闊天空，哪知道，無論在哪都沒有差。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDp8Ez7Lem
他始終是，一個人。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ01K9MLRC6G
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他卻天真以為，能夠讓對方愛上自己。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMWOL5SAf8
明明他們之間除了兄弟的親情之外，什麼也不剩。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvzL2bnaDI
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『 』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrMADm7PJ0
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他決定要去旅行。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bUxCxeywM
趁著那一天弟弟加班的日子，他簡單收拾了行李，和家裏養著的狗一一道別之後，他關上家門，最後看了一眼他一定不會再開啟的門，而後邁步往街上走去。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0GN8UTXx6
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路德也許會生氣吧。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IQCQ8jdYo
基爾伯特悠閒地走在路邊，一邊淡淡想著。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0mA06PYqh
不過，他不會解釋的，也不會後悔的。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8hhl0PATH
哼著不知打哪學會的曲調，午後的陽光撒在他背上，熠熠生輝。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUU4tczVny
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路德維希一如往常因為加班的緣故晚到了家。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6feguRuibG
在還沒打開家門口的時候，他還在想要怎麼跟兄長解釋，然後一開門入眼的卻是一整片黑暗。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4wrMDyJE9
他思緒有些混雜的楞在家門口，半晌無法言語。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ExFWncHTn
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家裏養著的三隻狗衝上前趴住他。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5gcDZhjIO
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基爾伯特的身影幾乎消失。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2IwmnsEsHn
那之後他走遍了住家周圍，甚至在後面幾天不斷搜尋著，用網路、用人力，但是彷彿電腦裡的資料被消除後的乾淨，到處都找不到他的兄長，雖然偶而會接獲零星的消息說在哪有誰曾見過他的行蹤，他也曾前往該地，但一切一切卻像是被嘲笑一樣的徒勞無功。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdz75NSqddv
他感到十分焦躁，甚至湧上不安的思緒。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0l52I0MpY
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「你有見過這個男人嗎？」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPM4XYtL5g
他在街上隨意攔截了某位路人，並從懷裡掏出那張因為過於頻繁使用充滿皺摺的相片問著對方。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NPyJF97It
搖搖頭，被他攔下的人表示從未見過。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicdRfMdR5q
「……謝謝。不好意思，打擾您的時間了。」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85C4V63PwB
也許是疑惑，離開前那路人還頻頻回望他幾眼，大約是在想這人是怪人嘛，尋人這事不是要找警察解決的嗎。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIpB7iNI1B
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他收起相片，忖思。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUK2qKPSgCJ
已經找了這麼多年，從那天兄長消失在家中開始，他就拿著這張很久前兄長拍攝下的個人照，在他放假時候到各個地點去尋找。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCblfQnyGRR
但是，得到的答案總是千篇一律，他們從未見過他。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjW5SmEpPW
伊莉莎白跟羅德里赫也勸過他該放棄了，因為死心總比冀望那幾乎不存在的希望來的好。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ww7cpLUiq
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也許是該放棄的時候了。ns216.73.216.93da2
