很久很久沒有寫文章了。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvV6KWU9JBX
就像之前短篇的敘事，並非是美好而溫馨的。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6wFHECgvH
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『世界上最遙遠的距離』50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpDfdYH7Ve
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所以我看著你對著別人露出，那不再屬於我的笑容。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEDxUcHUyu
在你身後的我咬唇，轉身離開了那裡。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNSUJ3jEv9
不能後悔。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShGmRMug55
不能怨恨。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEh8EF89jz
不能再想。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkxy25uDky
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因為。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzxXJr6BMf
是我先推開了你給予我的擁抱。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazkcoqw8n4
拒絕了你對我的情感。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKELDHcHgo
忽視了你眼底的情慾。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fjDKf1SrW
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因此。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgiddXJlmxt
我怎麼能哭泣。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1yuNS1mgB
我怎麼能悔恨。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRHqB0ga1S
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因為是我自己造成這一切的啊。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTMZXHefXd
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「明明做那樣選擇的是自己，可為什麼還是感到了悔恨。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyyzQGeNj8
「拒絕了你之後才愛上你。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVULhhRbPE
「這樣的我令人厭惡。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoVdUrZKBe
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*50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrahr0eATBE
錯過與放棄。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rasAoOunp
於是悔恨交織。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT002rlFlfZ
如果雙方都互相喜歡，但在不對的時間說了同樣的話，那麼結局終究也只是失去。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrkYarn7Dd8
但造成這種局面的卻是自己。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhV7RNuQNNi
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『If……』50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRQ0Nyer8X
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基爾伯特忽然頓住，熱燙的淚液毫無預警的自他頰面滑下，五臟六腑彷彿抽離血液似的，壓迫他喉嚨，使他急促地呼吸著。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKepwCSswa1
半晌，在這沒有任何人存在的家中，他漸漸地停止了哭泣。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iYAjryo13
望著淌滿自己體液的手，基爾伯特緩緩勾起一抹笑，眼裡模糊成晶亮的光景，閃爍著鑽石色彩。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNSLhO2nkL
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如果任何淚水都是有理由的話。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJexzTxtjT
那麼，基爾伯特兀自忖思，他這種毫無緣由乍然傾瀉的疼痛，又代表著什麼。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IeDeV9oQY
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寫完後，友人看完之後畫了r18的圖........為什麼會是這種感想呢？（苦笑50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUA1t25oJa
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『給十年後未來的你』50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKaiX8D25M
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『WEST！我們到樹下埋寶藏吧！』50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpnGn3Rj34
活在記憶中地嗓音依然清晰如昨。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTlN591QZe
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那時才剛結束分裂局面，國內一切都不穩固，有天兄長忽然很開心的拉著他手徑往外衝，手裡還拿著一罐玻璃瓶，透明的瓶子可見折半的白紙。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0cyoFddHmI
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『你要記得十年之後再打開喔。』50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpNixikABW
那天午後的天氣十分的溫暖，沐浴在彷佛受神祝福的光輝下，由於掘土而整張臉髒呼呼的兄長掛著笑容，一邊叮囑著他。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLGL6Y8VWx
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那時他究竟回答了些什麼呢……？50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9RuUCct4Y
至今回想卻支離破碎。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qyh9DCU1n
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唯一記得的是在那一場日光中，他眼淚似乎就要因為日光而融化出眼眶的疼痛。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbSTg1t8GM
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如果存在的奇跡是真的存在的話。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD23qfJ26U6
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那麼，那一天之後就是盡頭了吧。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyClaEOzLd3
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早就該死亡了。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTU8pm5m9o
早就該離開了。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8C7kjDZiQC
早就……50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJkaPHEtpd
早就什麼也無法碰觸了……50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicxlVRW3X2
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重逢後的每一天清晨醒來看見兄長安然無恙的睡躺在他身旁時都是奇跡。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULc7A8LaSb
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他們能夠的相處的時間那麼少，少到讓他後悔莫及。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSeclVL8lD
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為什麼不早這樣做呢……50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLza1L8ftiw
為什麼不能忍耐呢……50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidSGLWgUWX
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一個失去人民與國土的國家，究竟能走到什麼地步……50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVvQpiSfYE
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『不要哭。』50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRf7EtGfFt
最後，兄長只是這麼說。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeS3LJOxOss
在風雪漸大的夜裡，在背後閃耀著五顏六色的煙花中這般輕喃。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMOOSlqDbq
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那之後他仍舊過著一樣的日子。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzL0ZA3EmMZ
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只是再也沒有人在家裡等他，再也沒有人在耳邊吵鬧。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwO71VkaZwX
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到底過了多久呢？50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOsaot1WTo
也許久到他連幾年都不記得了吧。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0fPPlugNk
他總是覺得兄長還存在在任何地方，只是他找不到罷了。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNCGvYt1M1
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於是忽然那麼一天他想起那一個寶物。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjiVs4LtQVk
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當時候的他寫了給未來的信件，那麼兄長一定也寫了什麼吧……50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡguVTWpGzqt
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他拼命的挖土。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORw0xEJDcH
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不過幾分，鐵制的蓋子便從泥裡翻出。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVfCjR4KoD
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他費力的扭轉生銹的圓蓋，然後拿出放在裡面的信件。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvr7uyvOsp
他第一個就翻開了兄長的信件，想看看兄長寫了什麼，卻愕然的啞口。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHy8aHcKdP
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那是一面白紙。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qWXTFGmg7
由於在土裡待著，染上了土黃的 斑點。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nsUJGYKd4
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上頭甚麼也沒有寫。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdjj0FsnE0
空白的，就像不曾有筆跡存在過。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡei7lAuedQ7
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『不要哭。』腦裡不斷地迴響著兄長的聲音。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrs4VXW9Hkv
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他臉上卻佈滿了淚痕。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6UUXuSDsg
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*********50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qfQkxau2K
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看新聞有感。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7r6hFlaUY
新聞描述的非常哀傷，但我卻想到會不會是因為埋的人早就知道自己不存於世所以什麼也不寫，因為已經沒有未來了。所以寫甚麼都只是惘然。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3oMC8OPllV
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「關於雪的聯想」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTzZ6iFjTG
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關於雪的記憶，充滿著童話與火爐，天冷時的熱飲，依偎在你懷裡聽著你美好的聲音。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIRT1cEZQx
那時總是小，張著眼只注視得到你，伸出手也只能觸碰到你滿佈繭的掌。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlV3VXsVFsr
乾澀的，卻熱和著。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XlkjpPVrC
『你聽』50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB71V1EWxrL
你抱著我幼小的身軀，指腹抹過窗戶。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8pIekS1xp
『雪聲落下來時候，是像這樣，一閃一閃的響著喔』50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZg1O4HVyj
室內的火材劈啪地冒出零星火花。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yrbSrYKbf
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『踏雪無聲』50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsCY12hPgD
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乍然寂靜無聲。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdM3JucXk9s
路德維希倏地轉身，一片銀白雪亮，折射著夜裡的月色，令人刺目。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfionUwHSCe
他張大眼，張口不能言。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRoOmrlI1er
方才和他說話的兄長消失的無影無蹤，明明還有餘溫的聲音，卻消失了，而在他身後蜿蜒的只有他一個人的足跡。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5DibNtprj
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0650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswlwexr3wb
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「遙遠的童話故事」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopZrjqrLc7
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第一次看完索多瑪的120天的那陣子，只要他每天一想起片段都會忍不住嘔吐，即使他燒了書也無法竭止嘔出穢物的反胃。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WCWsMl3xk
現在他已經想不起故事，彷彿刻意消除痕跡似的，除了殘留在口腔裡膽汁的回憶之外，他腦中裡沒有任何關於故事的字句。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCFVgKL2K8
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可即使一切什麼也不記得，但那種深深地醜陋情感卻扎根在他身體各位，完全無法擺脫。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxNCfRXXn8
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『請幸福的……』50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPWL7kPnYu
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如果那一天到來，不要挽留我。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWOUIBEk7Q
請你自由的、幸福的跟另外一個人生活下去吧。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zwaLr3UMq
我會在那裏望著你，微笑的，流淚的。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87uKxdInyR
因為我從來就沒有資格擁有你，我只是自我滿足的活在自己認為的幸福時光裡罷了。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlVtqPAjsc
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奢望什麼的也只是虛幻。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7pDkm2JOW
我無法相信話語的真實。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7wrBXdCzE
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我知道，你愛我。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnZXF5aJnU
可是「我愛你」，這是親人間也會說的話。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjavcPqovcP
我當然也從你口裡聽到。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pmFF4YtKW
在早上醒來時給我的早安吻，在下午你歸來的玄關門口的吻，在夜裡沉睡前的晚安吻。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeRqO6YQc0
你總是會說：「我愛你。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfYIUiyICP
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是的。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡangenJnI9U
你是愛我的，可是你不是愛我的。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3YtgzUtNE
那並非是我自己誤解。我總是看著你，總是微笑的看著，總是嬉鬧的看著你，總是在戰爭裡看著你。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3qaQF5qPi
我無時不刻的看著你。所以很清楚，比你自己還清楚你自己。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxIcNQwtBq
我們之間緊緊聯繫的，不過是名為親情的愛情。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gYf45e9rq
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『後日談』50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3o7ajY366
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「喜歡你喔」他這麼說。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqq0hrWQsI
他不著痕跡的回望，面前的兄長哼著歌。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhry8YhfRa
然後他又重複了一次。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNDuKvY8zV
「嗯」即使那是沒有任何感情、單調的話語，只是重複音節發生振動的合成。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KdfVXGVma
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4gwfJvemX
喜歡你喔，所以不會愛你喔。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3iyngLiXvd
基爾伯特哼著不成調的小曲，臉上滿是笑意。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlXRw9RlSG
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不知道什麼時候發現到的，可是已經為時已晚，那時兄長早就笑容滿面的將他從愛情裡排拒開。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnCGv32nlV
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0950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggjgMYUPBv
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「十年」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLp0279g6Aq
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有一天他從廣播聽見一首來自東方國度的歌，淳厚的男歌手看似平淡的唱著那歌詞。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQoRQxIADB
曲終時候，他忽然淚流滿面。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe04QPUyJ8v
就在他幾乎無法反應的片刻。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCOexwCJyD
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwqbKlkGqv
熱辣的液體不斷從體內湧出，喉嚨彷彿被壓抑著，嘶啞不成調。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMwXJEARsP
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因為太感同身受了。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQbOdbTO9X
他和路德分開的時間以人類而言是那麼久，自然，有很多事情已經不像他記憶那樣的美好。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cCNzGC2UM
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幾十年前他們是兄弟是親人，所以能夠牽手，能夠擁抱，能夠親吻。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQdM4LvF8R
現在，他們仍然是親人、兄弟，可以牽手、擁抱，但卻也沒有親吻過彼此。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEeChFfDwv
就像是緊守著什麼界線，彼此誰也沒有越過的意思。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09Qc7c6R4Y
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只是一廂情願的愛戀罷了。基爾伯特淺笑地望著窗外那一片青空。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLUfTTLOlS
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzVHD3b4BJ
那些在彼此生命裡空白的日子，他就像是戀愛的人一樣，一直渴望著見到他，一直在被剝削的勞力中自我安慰，一直、一直維持著自己的意志，在配合可笑的服從中，盡力維持著自己的意識，也許是曉得一旦遺忘，他就再也不可能回到路德身邊的緣故。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxnWI75RqP
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但像這種自以為是的愛情，怎麼可能會得到相等的回報？50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqmaa3Nven
他似乎想的太過美好了，就像那道牆破碎以後，就認為一切都可以海闊天空，哪知道，無論在哪都沒有差。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrcyHivTfs
他始終是，一個人。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRICj5uHWMs
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他卻天真以為，能夠讓對方愛上自己。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyfX5zkY1S
明明他們之間除了兄弟的親情之外，什麼也不剩。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbQTuWn2Bt
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『 』50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOl6A2lEMK
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他決定要去旅行。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEDBsd9Ugz
趁著那一天弟弟加班的日子，他簡單收拾了行李，和家裏養著的狗一一道別之後，他關上家門，最後看了一眼他一定不會再開啟的門，而後邁步往街上走去。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYm2BxkyCin
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路德也許會生氣吧。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlcXZe6zqG
基爾伯特悠閒地走在路邊，一邊淡淡想著。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjd67tffPy
不過，他不會解釋的，也不會後悔的。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8qJaQll3a
哼著不知打哪學會的曲調，午後的陽光撒在他背上，熠熠生輝。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUJLJYiNJE
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路德維希一如往常因為加班的緣故晚到了家。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAJUcDnELd
在還沒打開家門口的時候，他還在想要怎麼跟兄長解釋，然後一開門入眼的卻是一整片黑暗。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAacscgwMsY
他思緒有些混雜的楞在家門口，半晌無法言語。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGONLupRY6p
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家裏養著的三隻狗衝上前趴住他。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkqT5Q2bPh
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基爾伯特的身影幾乎消失。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndEILP1l5n
那之後他走遍了住家周圍，甚至在後面幾天不斷搜尋著，用網路、用人力，但是彷彿電腦裡的資料被消除後的乾淨，到處都找不到他的兄長，雖然偶而會接獲零星的消息說在哪有誰曾見過他的行蹤，他也曾前往該地，但一切一切卻像是被嘲笑一樣的徒勞無功。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNWvryHbuA
他感到十分焦躁，甚至湧上不安的思緒。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyzSDF5Qr9
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「你有見過這個男人嗎？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0J5QapT1l
他在街上隨意攔截了某位路人，並從懷裡掏出那張因為過於頻繁使用充滿皺摺的相片問著對方。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzrHfeUUQM
搖搖頭，被他攔下的人表示從未見過。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE09Xr9aRkf
「……謝謝。不好意思，打擾您的時間了。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxR4HfGNZ2
也許是疑惑，離開前那路人還頻頻回望他幾眼，大約是在想這人是怪人嘛，尋人這事不是要找警察解決的嗎。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPErqaYDZy
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他收起相片，忖思。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiwJ1xAwM4
已經找了這麼多年，從那天兄長消失在家中開始，他就拿著這張很久前兄長拍攝下的個人照，在他放假時候到各個地點去尋找。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28JbO2oIwB
但是，得到的答案總是千篇一律，他們從未見過他。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9HXbSFO1x
伊莉莎白跟羅德里赫也勸過他該放棄了，因為死心總比冀望那幾乎不存在的希望來的好。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC7EHvSokFs
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也許是該放棄的時候了。ns216.73.216.12da2
