以下是我看到某參賽作品以後，所寫的留言轉正文，供大家參考。
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEBzsMDdez
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxNM1BnQR0
感謝參與～197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3nXfyzWVb
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AY4IAJ3iU
老實說，這篇給我的感覺不是十行詩，是散文十行。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBoJ4TaFPIg
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GcMrgQzSA
雖然文章有哲理，但是詩度很低。詩的要素，如節奏、意象、音樂、譬喻都很平淡，甚至欠奉；內容太趨近說明，解釋過多，太黏了。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4fiLzb5PH
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCBEwC5bNk
～～～～分隔線～～～～197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gJBVoKoPy
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKSBpIeEFU
我回頭看我自己寫的詩，有些也算不上是詩，例如197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4I98q5EYF
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgjaydxUc4
〈限制和自由〉197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGWS3r0Byc
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡor9QXp4gw0
penana.com/article/1024895197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ataBSWWYK
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1Ut9bB8NP
現在看來，我覺得它不是詩 (但為記錄故，還是收進詩集)。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PK9Kl90tC
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevS7SKtvtT
詩度 0。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SKjMn0N4F
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRY8wI7GYua
～～～～分隔線～～～～197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4i6upgCKtL
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzB1kYfUGnm
〈問〉197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimKSExZYsI
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJwfyrTs6nl
penana.com/article/1024944197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CQkPiDh7d
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbMwb59tqa
詩度高一點。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxnXzM7Bihy
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6sMArlNkm
～～～～分隔線～～～～197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgciyr9eD20
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUurPevYpla
〈摩天之輪〉197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKABS35n01
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCrOn38vaQO
penana.com/article/1045705197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGovYw2dJLC
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydKg41N03C
詩度再高一點。
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQxSgiAZnVt
～～～～分隔線～～～～
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFyPPxd41m
〈蝴蝶酥〉197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP72UZ376u9
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvY8pmxNad
https://www.penana.com/article/1597713197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0w415p2emu
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnuBy5qJku
詩度比前三首都高。
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCcnSACG6c
～～～～分隔線～～～～
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3BLp9n6mz
我最近在看台灣詩人蕭蕭的詩論，詩人有句話簡單卻有道理：「詩，是『換句話說』，『再換句話說』」。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhKyBzwlwm
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3nRpIzEDK
我在筆記本上面，寫下自己的句子：「詩，是常句和變句的雙人舞。」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9OmizHR9s
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIC3Z5foPSh
跟你分享。
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksepctK3MX
～～～～分隔線～～～～
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2a8yfY6DRs
此外，這篇連結文章也可作參考。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlqQqDnnbu
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2uhmkLPSu
【認識新詩的基本元素】197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2s0wc6ubb
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxqzh3bxhK
blog.udn.com/shesiya/113597193197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolV3RBNmEx
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQ7LOiZGSJ
我之後應該會就我最近對新詩的思考＆自己詩作/非詩作的例子，寫一篇文章放在我的《寫詩這件事及其他》裡面。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgypI0odLzA
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa8VuCGW0JY
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxA3O3olHH
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWS8ffVVTw2
【我後來回答參賽者「希望較符合你的標準」的留言】
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqxBgOpuoS
這不是我的標準啦，算是台灣詩人對新詩的定義。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdvsUwrVwl
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSJ0ZcHH2F
第二版「詩度」有提升，因為用了複沓/排比結構，綿延的音樂性增加了。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eSrElmKFG
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsGbKTgEIU
寫詩要多看詩，也不用急，我檢視自己這兩年多密集寫詩的成果，發現好多不熟的，甚至是皮球假裝成果子的，哈哈～
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1dYEn4o1j
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7nhmPnVcE
【這次全新寫的感想】
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVp2dN1Iu7
我拿自己青澀的詩果，甚至非詩的皮球作例子，無非是希望讀者能做個比較，認識一下不同詩度的詩，長什麼樣子；這裡再拿我寫的〈詠栗〉作例子：
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiujjJrBNG
〈詠栗〉
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEoW7DNbk5i
殼斗，第一層愛
張牙舞爪威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
豐美的內在
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlVc8FMZmD
剝去愛，尚有
木訥果皮和刻苦種皮
無口而全然
環抱整個子代
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqb5q7JQvai
充盈在手中打開
當秋天到來
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPdBJeXaaf
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQ9FRjfOWN
如果寫成
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugXGdiyvvR
〈詠栗〉
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLfT0d5ie0
殼斗，第一層皮
長滿尖刺威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
內在的果實
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFzpIAQtO5
剝去殼，尚有
木質果皮和苦味種皮
沒有裂口而且完全
包覆整個子葉
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLeNlkuCIk
栗子在手中打開
當秋天到來
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwR5VsscIDD
詩度就不見啦，成為一篇分行的散文，而且是說明文。
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWP6WJzYdZx
會寫詩的讀者，可將自己詩裡的詩句 (＝變句)，換成一般常用的句子 (＝常句) 玩玩看；而苦惱於抓不到詩度的讀者，反其道而行，將自己作品的句子，改動幾個詞彙，以「一般不會這樣用」的語詞 (也可改變詞性) 代替，或可抓到一點詩的感覺。
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6Q9kZCXkP
當然，現代詩的面向不僅在於詞彙，但這是一個開始。
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ugISjKB0N
祝各位被詩淋透，不，淋得半濕就好。
ns216.73.216.176da2
