以下是我看到某參賽作品以後，所寫的留言轉正文，供大家參考。
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyepsVBC43
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxULxoUDt7d
感謝參與～161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7dmcrYYDI
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7VZepqLsB
老實說，這篇給我的感覺不是十行詩，是散文十行。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIE7bIVO9dH
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVoIthuKh5r
雖然文章有哲理，但是詩度很低。詩的要素，如節奏、意象、音樂、譬喻都很平淡，甚至欠奉；內容太趨近說明，解釋過多，太黏了。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5IHhpzFBe
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TF6IWopLZ
～～～～分隔線～～～～161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyQV4FoC5I
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqP30TJHXCI
我回頭看我自己寫的詩，有些也算不上是詩，例如161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfUtZ5mYC5
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyVe6RZQKe
〈限制和自由〉161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhkMg39M1X
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwgQFzkq0a
penana.com/article/1024895161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡApLkxybj2T
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxeiEaDOWS4
現在看來，我覺得它不是詩 (但為記錄故，還是收進詩集)。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHp20unWWNm
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MeCwyqPSe
詩度 0。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8BkEQJ7oh
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡko5kyns0DZ
～～～～分隔線～～～～161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmy4oOcj5F
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGa1hRjyAl
〈問〉161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiANuU5bddD
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7n4ql8uk8z
penana.com/article/1024944161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwJXy18UmW
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKsMUrlCKMi
詩度高一點。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bMSOVbaju
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TfGQgb1x2
～～～～分隔線～～～～161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFppZQjHEvO
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxA4eDEp6Gd
〈摩天之輪〉161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjrerfrXx3
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMnj1NuwmM
penana.com/article/1045705161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQj8crP0FyG
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJ9rR4kZVB
詩度再高一點。
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmIayCuqlA
～～～～分隔線～～～～
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fNkp4hKCC
〈蝴蝶酥〉161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdfL8K2I7D
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgtxE5YpFY
https://www.penana.com/article/1597713161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKOcNb72Gl
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKbRzfdlgT
詩度比前三首都高。
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxVWWOJ1Ig
～～～～分隔線～～～～
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHed9Xb4o7O
我最近在看台灣詩人蕭蕭的詩論，詩人有句話簡單卻有道理：「詩，是『換句話說』，『再換句話說』」。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJZDO0p8Uf
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYsFeG1xVe
我在筆記本上面，寫下自己的句子：「詩，是常句和變句的雙人舞。」161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaT5Dryb2u
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulnCVbZP3g
跟你分享。
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGxqUvBvLU
～～～～分隔線～～～～
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjz3wnMGpY8
此外，這篇連結文章也可作參考。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvpHQed7ov
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWUMqc5tob
【認識新詩的基本元素】161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHId4fR4hvJ
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9viW8tOJfj
blog.udn.com/shesiya/113597193161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qFf4AwMKW
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahHIoVoNtn
我之後應該會就我最近對新詩的思考＆自己詩作/非詩作的例子，寫一篇文章放在我的《寫詩這件事及其他》裡面。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGeDTsqNWR
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2peulAH0L
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRXJ6Og18B
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi14LbtSa5u
【我後來回答參賽者「希望較符合你的標準」的留言】
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBB0d0iKqSC
這不是我的標準啦，算是台灣詩人對新詩的定義。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHzY0B9jJG
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7UbocZODN
第二版「詩度」有提升，因為用了複沓/排比結構，綿延的音樂性增加了。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLh5o3IGof
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2RkYIIFGb
寫詩要多看詩，也不用急，我檢視自己這兩年多密集寫詩的成果，發現好多不熟的，甚至是皮球假裝成果子的，哈哈～
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSTI0Uw5Av
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLh5HDrUmsN
【這次全新寫的感想】
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JvppLuzJ1
我拿自己青澀的詩果，甚至非詩的皮球作例子，無非是希望讀者能做個比較，認識一下不同詩度的詩，長什麼樣子；這裡再拿我寫的〈詠栗〉作例子：
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrSjxNC48Y
〈詠栗〉
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnepZVip6n
殼斗，第一層愛
張牙舞爪威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
豐美的內在
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVmkpRIQtI
剝去愛，尚有
木訥果皮和刻苦種皮
無口而全然
環抱整個子代
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8O99OnFs8y
充盈在手中打開
當秋天到來
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqfhhaPu79
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7T6Fmh9Jhz
如果寫成
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWgckjisaD
〈詠栗〉
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXtSuVyPh9
殼斗，第一層皮
長滿尖刺威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
內在的果實
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJuHpGhrUu
剝去殼，尚有
木質果皮和苦味種皮
沒有裂口而且完全
包覆整個子葉
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJwtldjwVo
栗子在手中打開
當秋天到來
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEfBbGbaNu
詩度就不見啦，成為一篇分行的散文，而且是說明文。
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3K1u52CLQW
會寫詩的讀者，可將自己詩裡的詩句 (＝變句)，換成一般常用的句子 (＝常句) 玩玩看；而苦惱於抓不到詩度的讀者，反其道而行，將自己作品的句子，改動幾個詞彙，以「一般不會這樣用」的語詞 (也可改變詞性) 代替，或可抓到一點詩的感覺。
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCoNUXNIbd
當然，現代詩的面向不僅在於詞彙，但這是一個開始。
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fwvItIJ3P
祝各位被詩淋透，不，淋得半濕就好。
ns3.23.100.174da2
