以下是我看到某參賽作品以後，所寫的留言轉正文，供大家參考。
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQY8DEN1KZp
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3rJjoksnc
感謝參與～211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNbj3aTmhS
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAA69ciMyu1
老實說，這篇給我的感覺不是十行詩，是散文十行。211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9r2X4ROp2h
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGJFohXoIb
雖然文章有哲理，但是詩度很低。詩的要素，如節奏、意象、音樂、譬喻都很平淡，甚至欠奉；內容太趨近說明，解釋過多，太黏了。211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7p0aMcVSN
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZuGHujvFG
～～～～分隔線～～～～211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJvQmuyjvY
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mNLgaPLCT
我回頭看我自己寫的詩，有些也算不上是詩，例如211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGr8Ks7NLE
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhvnbKBov6
〈限制和自由〉211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELLU6hOv4t
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvWBFqWmBU
penana.com/article/1024895211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwNgEXGbQ2
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKANOFkhDid
現在看來，我覺得它不是詩 (但為記錄故，還是收進詩集)。211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfN0LHLa5x
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTE11AsJYm6
詩度 0。211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKAadTKhM7O
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgV3r5T1xGg
～～～～分隔線～～～～211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLX4mntgWAD
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWE721wofU6
〈問〉211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXoeKoKiaP
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqO7Xeta4tB
penana.com/article/1024944211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4Q2vcbJrv
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtzZJxlEmO
詩度高一點。211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKJkmpkvxv
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGR3SplPW5O
～～～～分隔線～～～～211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmxCoHavei
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1hXqxcBLk
〈摩天之輪〉211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoQzmcwBsx
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqQNqJ98EJ
penana.com/article/1045705211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruuCc96Yu8
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XqIz97r9C
詩度再高一點。
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRi61jU3mpN
～～～～分隔線～～～～
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3tGiCW6n2
〈蝴蝶酥〉211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKNAOifHao
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNd9PiI8utN
https://www.penana.com/article/1597713211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6Ohx1CfVD
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWHNOLLdoc
詩度比前三首都高。
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6P8yw2ZVg
～～～～分隔線～～～～
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MkRv6m1qO
我最近在看台灣詩人蕭蕭的詩論，詩人有句話簡單卻有道理：「詩，是『換句話說』，『再換句話說』」。211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDAHvgMgSb
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Njbad6tBX
我在筆記本上面，寫下自己的句子：「詩，是常句和變句的雙人舞。」211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfkXKqnsbw
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTulb9h842
跟你分享。
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvHnsLTuMg
～～～～分隔線～～～～
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBzYCo5ObE
此外，這篇連結文章也可作參考。211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Z7MJCWZFr
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpICDOlWU6v
【認識新詩的基本元素】211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0s4pYbz1A
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJDn0hIe0r
blog.udn.com/shesiya/113597193211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxifD6F15S
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmDoP4qaYp
我之後應該會就我最近對新詩的思考＆自己詩作/非詩作的例子，寫一篇文章放在我的《寫詩這件事及其他》裡面。211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmGsvubFzF
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCjytBLBbn
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucMn95hbE7
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo08QsVw7ny
【我後來回答參賽者「希望較符合你的標準」的留言】
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4p5WKv0rOf
這不是我的標準啦，算是台灣詩人對新詩的定義。211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQQcXghj2k
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfHD9zc8KI
第二版「詩度」有提升，因為用了複沓/排比結構，綿延的音樂性增加了。211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3U34PDKDq
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVVJ02zsOZ
寫詩要多看詩，也不用急，我檢視自己這兩年多密集寫詩的成果，發現好多不熟的，甚至是皮球假裝成果子的，哈哈～
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGhGmFKb8h
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWHiCEzRAA
【這次全新寫的感想】
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jGZvqg31C
我拿自己青澀的詩果，甚至非詩的皮球作例子，無非是希望讀者能做個比較，認識一下不同詩度的詩，長什麼樣子；這裡再拿我寫的〈詠栗〉作例子：
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3uXbqBe8q
〈詠栗〉
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOhycwCiz9
殼斗，第一層愛
張牙舞爪威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
豐美的內在
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunK1gaokLc
剝去愛，尚有
木訥果皮和刻苦種皮
無口而全然
環抱整個子代
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxr3kKWa5C
充盈在手中打開
當秋天到來
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGPNO2gU4H
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzkYTPjQVX
如果寫成
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIKMXvYWnz
〈詠栗〉
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnI73Y199Xt
殼斗，第一層皮
長滿尖刺威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
內在的果實
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEvrjtKnP0
剝去殼，尚有
木質果皮和苦味種皮
沒有裂口而且完全
包覆整個子葉
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoaab7a8Vw
栗子在手中打開
當秋天到來
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxvWhHZc0D
詩度就不見啦，成為一篇分行的散文，而且是說明文。
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrW0m6Go82
會寫詩的讀者，可將自己詩裡的詩句 (＝變句)，換成一般常用的句子 (＝常句) 玩玩看；而苦惱於抓不到詩度的讀者，反其道而行，將自己作品的句子，改動幾個詞彙，以「一般不會這樣用」的語詞 (也可改變詞性) 代替，或可抓到一點詩的感覺。
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGeF46OJnw
當然，現代詩的面向不僅在於詞彙，但這是一個開始。
211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodAFFLNSfD
祝各位被詩淋透，不，淋得半濕就好。
ns216.73.216.251da2
