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Three years.
Three years with Nova Rae Blackwell—the only woman I ever wanted to be something better for.
The one girl who made me want to slow down, fix the broken parts, be a man worth holding onto.
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But man, the pressure?
It’s like carrying a weight made of glass.
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Every day, I try to be perfect for her—perfect in the way she deserves.
Not the angry, broken guy she met.
The guy who snaps, who pushes, who’s got all these scars she never asked to see.
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But the harder I try, the more it feels like I’m just digging myself deeper.
Like there’s this voice in my head whispering: You’ll never be enough.
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I started lying to her.
Little lies at first—late nights at work, meetings that never happened.
Then the big ones.
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The first time coke touched my lips, it felt like control. Like a way to silence the noise inside my head—the expectations, the fear, the self-doubt.
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It was a mistake.
A dark, twisting mistake.
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But the harder I fought, the more I fell.
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And the cheating… God, the cheating was worse.
Not because I didn’t love Nova—because I do. More than anything.
But because I was broken, and I didn’t know how to say it.
So I ran.
Ran into someone who didn’t know the weight I carried.
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The nights I came home late, smelling like sin and regret, I watched her from across the room.
Trying to convince myself she’d never see the cracks forming in the man I was supposed to be.
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She deserved better.
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I deserved better.
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But right now?
I’m just a man lost in the chaos of trying to hold it all together.
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And I’m scared that when the truth comes out—when she finally sees what I’ve done—it’ll all be gone.
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The love.
The trust.
The us.
She walked in too quiet.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgry4bsU3mc
Too steady.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkOEfhZpFP
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Nova’s never been the silent type—unless she’s loading a bullet behind her eyes.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOE84GOOMz
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She didn’t sit. Didn’t yell.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxcdYpjiQ4p
Just stood there in front of me, her jaw locked like she was keeping herself from screaming.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvcbi4tpcz
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She placed her phone on the table between us, screen-down.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6M73p1Dpz
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“You been cheating on me, Saint?”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNT5UkmP63
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I leaned back on the couch, like that could put space between me and what I already knew was coming.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSW9IxobBPz
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“What?” I let out a low laugh. “Nova, c’mon. You really believe that?”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjh0ugXqzz
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She didn’t blink.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMrgegLQCk
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“Tell me again.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQ4WEWb6fB
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“I’m not cheating. You’re being insecure.” I shrugged. “You overthink everything, and now you’re dragging this sh*t up outta nowhere.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡblrkNxNCiU
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She slid the phone across the table and tapped the screen.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3Zd7iZJ4i
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“Play that.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6DzIMDpsF
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I hesitated.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzhAGgi0HZ
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“Play. It.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gvowdUAHq
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I picked it up. Tapped the audio file.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLv6Tc6Q8aF
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And there it was—my voice. Clear as day.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnsigrODEXV
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“She’s wild, but I like it. Keeps things interesting. Like, she’s beautiful, sure—but it’s the chaos that makes it exciting.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SgxfvG6t7
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Then laughter.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SFjdtlHlu
A woman’s voice, smug and flirty.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5s9FeFymk
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“So you stay with her ‘cause she’s crazy?”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOfAiqdH1F
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And me again.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfcoFh8nGq
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“She needs me. That’s the thing. Girls like her always crash eventually—and I’ll be the one she runs back to.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrTqZZWPXN
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I locked eyes with Nova. My heart hit the floor.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxtP6j0ye2
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“It wasn’t like that,” I started, throat dry.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNJPOCnYmt
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“No?” she asked, voice shaking. “Then what was it like, Saint?”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCHvQHiCIi
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“I was just… talking. Trying to get her to leave me alone. You know how people twist things—”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWe7pa0KRGA
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“Those were your exact words. I didn’t twist a damn thing.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KVvXXI048
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I stood, hands clenched. “You’re overreacting—”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQR2xvHJdv
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“No, I’m reacting exactly how I should.” Her voice cut like glass. “You let another woman lie next to you and feed off pieces of me—our relationship. You didn’t just cheat. You degraded me.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡniZ7ygHnzb
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I stepped closer. “Nova, please. You know that’s not what I meant—”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRd80FttjQD
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“But it’s what you said.” Her eyes were glassy, but not from tears—just restrained fire.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPp4ukH8BbN
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“You called me wild. Broken. Chaotic.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0BryE4mQk
She paused. “And you said you liked it. Like I was some kind of pet project that makes you feel alive when your own soul is dead.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPen7blNEZ3
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I shook my head, heat rising to my ears. “I messed up. I know that. But you don’t get to paint me as a villain for one slip-up—”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAG1gGtLHRG
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“Slip-up?” she whispered, stepping in close.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqVHXb4v5o
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“You don’t get to tell the world I’m a beautiful disaster and expect me to still hold you like you’re my peace.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDaVAN5gVA
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“I love you, Nova.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPEdamjYkP
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She flinched. Just a little. Then:20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyahh3aWMXB
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“No. You love the control. You love the idea of me needing you.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMzWYZni20
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I reached for her wrist. She pulled away.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUWoQSeT2p
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“I loved you like you were oxygen. You loved me like I was fire—you liked the burn, but never wanted to get too close.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4lIRk663u
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The silence hit harder than any slap.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaX6OOHbZ8N
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She turned to leave, but stopped at the door.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPvTEOBWj1
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“Next time you lie to someone about me, Saint—make sure they don’t record it.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTPfevXh7M
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Door slammed.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNNSzm5LCQ
And I was left with her voice echoing in my head.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXT24ZjjNsC
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Not the one on the tape.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06M6dg3xDC
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The one that finally decided she was done.
