隔天夜裡，風從窗縫鑽進來。房間裡很安靜，只有鍵盤偶爾的敲擊聲。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizsvOVNzmO
賴夏陽正坐在書桌前看著模擬考解答，眼神有些恍惚。他揉了揉太陽穴，覺得最近頭老是痛，胸口也悶得很。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbXVZodoNN
「應該只是太累了吧……」他低聲說，拿起水杯灌了一口。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTzNWTb4An
但下一秒，他突然開始猛烈地咳嗽——
一聲接著一聲，喉嚨像被火燒一樣難受。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnGnrJulSJ
他急忙起身想去廁所，卻沒走兩步就扶著牆滑坐下來。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrN7xv6rQj
咳嗽沒有停，他的手掌按住嘴，卻感覺到一陣濕潤的黏膩。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJo8RlHn0WZ
當他看見掌心那一抹鮮紅時，整個人都愣住了。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DR5ng6DlM
那不是鼻血——
是血，從喉嚨咳出來的。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFYr7BmkRz
—
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxd2FecXgv
他沒有馬上驚慌，只是安靜地坐在地上，看著那血跡發了一會兒呆。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJa12ugUEU
「……怎麼會這樣？」
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCzAMRwM3z
他的聲音幾乎聽不見。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzKE7asE55
幾分鐘後，他勉強起身，洗掉手上的血，換了件衣服，悄悄出門。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqdNCdFkEP
沒有跟任何人說。
他只是覺得，不能再拖了。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcJtIKPv0w
這件事，他必須一個人知道答案。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jfYvXApvM
醫院的空氣聞起來總是混著消毒水味道，冷冷的，有點刺鼻。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk52Z6K7Y4V
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbXI7kwPVc
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRZ7DqP11e
賴夏陽拿著掛號單，坐在等候區的角落，帽子壓得低低的，背包放在腳邊。他左手插著口袋，右手握著手機，螢幕亮著，但他根本沒在看。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡON8nTpKp9i
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQqec1eTWz0
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wneQKkN7D
他沒告訴任何人。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtJJOORxB4
不是不信任，只是——不想讓別人擔心。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNVkqnMeOQ
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dYYX3ED0U
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JnOnQLegi
「賴夏陽先生，請進診間三。」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgPvVfCYzR
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MLGHU5jMf
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCE5PA9odgx
他站起來，深吸一口氣，走進診間。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXbJ7w9Yjp
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFJN4beWkA
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8R8jE115wN
—16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLR3sxJCqvm
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71ROADZMeW
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymq1H10JZU
醫生是個中年男人，戴著眼鏡，臉上表情一如既往的冷靜與專業。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmOmZi5kKk
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzIEDuTPya
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw10A5TjqoY
他看著報告，看了很久。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXZd2Bk4US
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrdeVgxmZ8
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6rBgekgCe
「你的影像資料我們已經仔細判讀過了。」醫生說，聲音平靜卻緩慢，「目前來看，肺部的異常陰影已經明顯擴散，我們懷疑是惡性腫瘤。」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIa1cRXxQII
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTq2guELqq
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1jAvIJq4h
賴夏陽一時間沒有反應。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJlTKJ33UZ
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytvR0FYF8t
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhO1QB1oF8
他甚至下意識笑了一下：「惡性……什麼？」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXipg2n8V6
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZME1N57so0
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjiZE07mIel
「肺腺癌，第三期偏晚。建議你盡快安排更進一步的切片與全身檢查，並與家屬討論治療方向，後天再來做一次檢查。」醫生說完這句，才抬起頭看著他：「你今天是一個人來的？」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm8uHEZKWIP
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdM3FLJEfD
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvrE4LmABs
「嗯……我爸媽都在外地工作，不方便過來。」他語氣輕鬆，但指尖抓緊了背包的拉鍊。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuN62Ka79U
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82SvbOj1HP
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLa45Zad02
「這不是小病，孩子。」醫生的語氣比剛才溫柔了些，「如果你信得過我，我們會陪你走下一步，但你要讓身邊的人知道。」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvH43eTjvm
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUI5j82tQ7D
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzEhZKcU0V
夏陽笑了笑：「我知道了。謝謝你。」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QHySNj7e5
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqqCyldUAS
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0zuhu1zdb
—16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbf4zg4fl2l
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oRTCbhnBF
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2xijtIoBJ
走出醫院那一刻，陽光很強。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyYlQQk8hU
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1Typ3W7Wo
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfu9S8i8x2e
他站在門口的陰影下，低頭看著手裡那份檢查報告。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHMFcrNWLW
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxLmvpFIwW
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qxGNRmgAT
手有一點抖。他不記得自己最後一次怕成這樣是什麼時候——是國小第一次騎腳踏車摔倒？還是那次父母吵架，把家裡東西摔得亂七八糟？16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76DDCkpQL4
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9zk1Uaxgh
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtG19IBZNOj
都不是。這種感覺更孤單。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCzCouTSILr
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcRa8j7tJR
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHng7G5Ce9y
他把報告折起來，收進背包最底層。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLB3bdrwH3G
接著掏出手機，給冬月傳了一則訊息：16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRwqYbWsgpE
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKnj66iQam
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCBlZvECuW
【等等要不要吃甜不辣？我今天嘴巴很饞。】16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTp0pomkpxJ
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2IRngbCAz
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyStjhbko9
螢幕亮起時，心裡的某個東西也默默碎了一小塊。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzx9FMW3bM
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyp38PtIXS
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpB8CPXBpX
但他的語氣，還是一如往常的陽光。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARfgH9xUdV
這天，醫院裡沒什麼人，窗外陰雲低壓，像雨快要落下。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdR4dH92YtR
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEvbhewjfi
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDlpTwjHP9
賴夏陽坐在診間外，一隻手撐著額頭，一隻手握著手機，螢幕停在一張和陳冬月的合照。照片裡她笑得很甜，笑眼彎彎，而他就在旁邊笑著看她。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02ZQZFiJf0
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadDpETHySi
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6ZUwa41ak
診間的門開了。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bVtEvfBFd
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3FkdAC7fi
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5cvO8GO2Er
「賴夏陽，進來吧。」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Wos2Io5BW
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQz87isDBH
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlax4JkvIFb
—16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAAeDwA4ka
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdh0RwwYpSV
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5Ra39Onj1
這次的報告比上次厚了一些。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3nBTMmEta
醫生沒有立刻說話，而是翻閱資料，再三確認過數據後才抬起頭。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyllWz97hj0
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHv3IqT1Vb
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkJB9Q335I
「夏陽，這次的結果出來了。我們已經進行過切片、影像與血液標記檢查……很遺憾地告訴你——你目前的病情是肺腺癌第四期，癌細胞已經轉移到淋巴與骨骼組織。」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4c0kLoLpXh
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdx68cniP1y
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5k3xg3ZwO
他愣了一下，眼睛眨也沒眨，但胸口突然像被重錘打了一下。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhnEcrOX22
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkz2At28ofp
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DX5XRRDqt
醫生語氣盡量柔和：「以目前情況來看，若不接受侵入性治療，存活期大約只剩下三個月左右。」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgjK6UTd32
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvWRxE0vdr
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZlDGbaEOw
「……三個月。」他重複了一次，聲音低得像喃喃自語。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RaAS1reZP
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqkU8HVGEZ
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPCnk7nVWX
「是。」醫生點頭，「如果願意配合化療、標靶，或許可以爭取更多時間，但這些治療……會很辛苦，副作用也很強。」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxX6kcXa7X
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxp28VEywk
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxz6n9TaGER
賴夏陽沒有馬上說話，只是靜靜地坐著，視線落在桌面某個角落。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PfD8FUQIH
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVszkOXOyaq
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZTzaQ6sBsK
「這些話你今天第一次聽到，可能會很難接受。」醫生遞了一杯水給他，「你需要一些時間，也建議你讓家人知道，這不是你可以獨自扛下的事。」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRVbwmHi47
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGG3tCa64L
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wFjWimvis
他看著那杯水，手卻沒伸出去。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SrNBFVp9H
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolyAPIOyhO
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhewDod2UPJ
「……謝謝你告訴我。」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyo2srv3t1
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUXC0MuR6L
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5xoQrdLiG
「夏陽——」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdEpOpwOPN
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2elQbwpvW
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrRt7DUaCR
「我知道該怎麼做。」他輕輕打斷醫生，語氣還是那麼平靜，「我只是……還有幾個人，我想再陪陪他們，然後，我會處理好我自己的事。」16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vFKmN1NMn
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Ed9CdQK41
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3fj0mGuNr
—16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsG2E4jqhF
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8q10kXn2sX
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQNQCHZdkA
走出診間的時候，他沒哭。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvhY4Su0uX
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdlm8Or54p6
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBbobVafzy
只是手指一直摩擦著褲邊的縫線，像是用這個動作提醒自己還活著。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKazbGpwoX4
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG48r3WAhxT
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlzCkvXBmx
三個月。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEeTJ6difQ
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJ4SKkY0Db
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsNXiZnLLk
這是醫生說出口，但彷彿用刀刻在他心口的字。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7Geae3Lk1
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXs8bl8knx2
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxiJztfJ29
他走到醫院樓下，站在陽光底下。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4ynd570UL
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwp42pz6zKh
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUN86kYWcc
這天的天氣很好，天空藍得像不會崩塌的夢。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFORQTIocN9
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4UWW1WJD0
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqMlEAFIav
可他知道，自己的世界，開始倒數了。
醫生說，只剩三個月。16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6dJ9wHq8c
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPkahWVFxH
「不過也有例外。」
「你可以選擇化療，但……機會不大。」
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARGtl4Yqd5
他搖了搖頭。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVgUnZ5A6d
他想到冬月。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7BZODsaeO
不行，他不能讓她親眼看見他一點一點地衰弱。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRQu3ig5Xx
那會成為她一輩子的夢魘。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nXkjT31g0
他要把最好的自己，留在她記憶裡。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAK6bqPamRa
—
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IIVBdqMYf
那幾天，他突然變得格外貼心，天天接她放學、帶她去吃她喜歡的甜點、看電影、吹風，什麼都順著她。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4miHZ6VMp
冬月察覺到他的異樣，卻說不上來是哪裡。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT779DZhc4F
她只知道，這幾天像一場夢。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcx8sdFAz4B
是他們之間，最美的一場夢。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxhqR3rTwH
—
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBLhQaOltr
幾天後，他開始變冷淡，不再主動、不再回訊息，眼神也不再柔軟。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdJdaQpHri
她問他：「你怎麼了？」
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnw3894LGui
他只是淡淡地說：「我們……是不是該給彼此一點空間？」
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUl2yzYILU
她愣住。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMCh0S7luh
一顆心，瞬間凍住。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8uegvcOi8k
—
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBa8bUiZoEs
然後，他消失了。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1WoHDmMwY
只留下一封信。
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcqvxLc71b
「小月亮，對不起，我太自私了。我不想讓妳看著我慢慢死去。妳值得更好的人生、更完整的愛。
所以我選擇一個人去走這段路——
到我人生最後的冬天。」
