I went downstairs to the kitchen, the lights were off so Ate could sleep. But she wasn't sleeping, she was laughing again at her bright phone, covered under the blanket. "Why are you laughing like a fox? You're gonna wake Lolo and Scarlet up."
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She didn't respond. "Ate?" I turned on the lights.
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She took her blanket off, smiling. "What?"
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"Oh, nothing. Just don't laugh too loud, you might wake Lolo and Scarlet." I turned the lights back off again and went upstairs.
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Ate stopped laughing.
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There was a breeze of night wind from up the stairs. "Is the rooftop door still open?" We always close that door once the sun sets, out of worry for thieves or intruders.
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I went up and checked. The lights inside the stairway and the ones hanging from the wall outside were off. "Scarlet?.."
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She was standing just outside the door, looking at the direction of the mountains again. "Grandma says she wants to play with me only, I should leave grandpa to sleep well."
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I sighed. "I know, our grandma loves you and grandpa. But don't be worried, she's happily resting where good souls go."
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Scarlet turned to look at me, and then back to the fence. "Is that true, Grandma?"
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"Scarlet..." I sighed. "Grandma loves you, even from heaven." I walked through the doorframe to pat her shoulder.
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My eyes saw in front of the fence, a dress of white, and skin pale blue in the darkness, weighed by wrinkles. I jumped back in to turn on the lights.
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"But grandma said she can't go to heaven yet!" Scarlet insisted.
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I went back out, hoping the lights would clear things up, but the white dress, on a pale old woman who was standing, looking at us with white eyes, was still there.
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I ran down the stairs to Mom and Ma who I could hear were still awake, grabbing Scarlet along with me.
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"Ow!" she complained.
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"Sorry! I don't know how to carry kids!"
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Chaotically holding Scarlet, I went to Mom's room. She was not there. "Mom?!" I checked Ma's room. She was not there either.
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Then, I realized their voices came from the kitchen, and I rushed down there. Mom and Ma were in the kitchen, shouting.
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Scarlet cried. "What's happening?!.."
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Irresponsible, or maybe panicked, I left Scarlet to cry on the empty couch by herself and went to Mom.
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"What do we do?!?!" she screamed to Ma.
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Ma stood in front of the kitchen backdoor, blocking exit. "We have to kill it!"
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There was an orange fox, hissing with the voice of Ate echoing behind it, scratching the air and floor, leaping here and there.
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"It took Ate!" Mom shouted at me.
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"What?! How?!" I saw the fox's coat shining, and its eyes were unusual... too perfect to be an animal. "We can't kill it!"
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Ma lashed out at me. "Then what?!"
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"I-It's not like the left-handed wolf! We can get it on our side!"
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Mom screamed as the fox screeched at me. "Ha?! What are you talking about?!"
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"It took Ate? We can get her back if we befriend it!" I didn't know what I was saying. When I was younger, I loved to lie for attention---and maybe it was just that all over again.
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But like someone crazy, begging for tragedy, I jumped on it; petting it as if it were my pet. "We love you, yeah?" I hugged it.
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I'd always felt there was something missing from my heart. I assumed it was because I had never felt a father's love. But by hugging this... creature, that hole was patched.
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"We are friends." I pressed my nose into its fur, and it was not soft. There was no texture, only warmth. It licked my face and stopped hissing, sitting on the floor.
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Ma breathed a sigh of relief. "Now where's Ate?"
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The deafening howl of a wolf pounded the air. "And Lolo?!" Ma panicked.
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Scarlet was standing in the middle of the dining area, next to the couch. "Lolo is howling in the comfort room!" She sobbed out, tears dripping from her eyes, snot sliding from her nose.
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The howling ended, and it was like I could finally breathe.
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I looked at Scarlet, furrowing my eyebrows with concern. "What?" Before I could get up, the fox collapsed onto me.
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It sheepishly jumped off, but fell to the tiles on its chin. Squirming like a piece of orange cotton, it looked me in the eye, its pupils dilating.
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She leaped onto my arm and bit my hand.
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Crimson red blood, darker than any time I had ever bled, leaked out of my skin and into her throat. My mind told me to run, but my body stayed. Her bite took my blood and pushed in a few liters more---of what I can only describe as pleasure---through my veins.
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I had always wondered what it would be like to feel cared for by a father, but at that moment I forgot all about it. The happiness she was just... injecting me with filled any void being fatherless left.
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If I could speak through the ecstasy, I fear that I'd beg that fox to continue. But when she leaped away, I was relieved. I could not let my mother and family see the side of me that wanted to be taken over by something that could tear my lungs at its will. That was not a part of me anyone could accept, and I'm glad it stayed hidden.
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