People say you'll always remember your first kiss.
What they don't tell you is how sometimes, that memory comes with a cost—like losing someone you never meant to hurt.
By the time third year rolled in, Anthony and I had grown closer. Not in a loud or obvious way, but in those quiet, fragile moments that felt too delicate to name. Study sessions. Notes passed during History. Eye contact that lasted too long. We had this unspoken understanding—like we both knew we were balancing on the edge of something that could change everything.
But change has a way of inviting chaos.
And chaos came dressed in glossy lips and a cruel laugh named Evelyn.
Evelyn had always hated me. From the first week I transferred, she made me her target. I was "the nerdy new girl with the fake accent" and "the rich girl who thought she was better than everyone else." Her words stuck to lockers and whispered down hallways. And now, she was also Anthony's girlfriend.
It didn't make sense to anyone. She was loud, entitled, mean. He was calm, gentle, thoughtful. But high school relationships don't always follow logic. Sometimes, they follow momentum.
Evelyn saw the shift too. She saw the way Anthony's eyes lingered on me. The way he walked with me to the gates after class. The way he kept defending me when someone mocked my accent or my asthma.
"You're really shameless, aren't you?" she hissed once as we crossed paths near the girl's restroom. "Still trying to steal someone else's boyfriend when you can't even pass PE?"
I didn't respond. I'd learned that some people want to fight because they need to feel like they're winning.
But it stung. Everything she said found its way into my insecurities—how I struggled to fit in, how I wasn't enough in my mother's eyes, how even the air sometimes refused to stay in my lungs.
I told EJ about it, of course. I told him everything.
At least, I used to.
Lately, our conversations had shifted. He grew quieter. Sharper. His teasing turned into sarcasm. His silences became longer. It was like watching someone I loved slowly back away from me without ever turning around.
"You're not seeing what he's doing?" he snapped one afternoon when I mentioned Anthony helped carry my books after class.
"What do you mean?"
"He's got a girlfriend. Evelyn, remember her? The one who makes your life hell?" His voice was clipped. Tired. "You're just... falling for it. You always do with him."
That stung more than Evelyn's words.
"I'm not doing anything wrong, EJ," I whispered.
But maybe I was. Or maybe I was just finally doing something for myself.
It happened on a Friday after school. CAT drills had ended early. The field was emptying. The sky was painted with soft oranges and purples, and the air smelled like rain waiting its turn.
Anthony was waiting near the armory. Alone.
"Hey," he said, his voice gentler than usual. "You busy?"
I shook my head.
He pulled a folded note from his pocket. "This is for you."
I opened it. It was a doodle of a CAT officer saluting a nerdy girl in glasses, with a speech bubble that said, "Report to my heart, ma'am."
I looked up, blushing, half-laughing. "What is this?"
"It's how I feel."
And then he kissed me.
Soft. Careful. Like he wasn't sure if I'd pull away. Like he'd waited too long to do it, and this was his only chance.
For a moment, I let it happen.
And then I heard something behind us.
Footsteps. A shuffle. A sharp breath pulled too fast.
I turned.
EJ.
He stood frozen, his eyes locked on mine. His jaw clenched, fists tight at his sides. But it wasn't anger I saw. It was heartbreak—raw, real, and so loud I could feel it echo through me.
"EJ—"
He shook his head, backing away. "Don't."
"Please, it's not—"
"I told you. I warned you," he said, his voice cracking. "But you always choose him. You always choose someone who's already taken."
And then he walked away.
He didn't come to class the next Monday. He didn't text. He didn't wait for me at the gates like he used to. It was like I had vanished from his world, even though mine was starting to fall apart without him.
I got what I thought I wanted.
But I lost the one person who always stayed.
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