I must admit in my haste to preserve what little remained of my chance to unnoticed in my tardiness I neglected to preserve my dignity as I flailed all my limbs down the corridor frantically like some kind of vintage cartoon caricature, I have always resembled an Orangutan when in a wild sprint and it’s often caused irrepressible laughter in moments of panic hence I alternated between cringe-inducing primate impression and cautious saunter as I contemplate the pros and cons of arriving quickly versus further humiliation before the end of first period. I change my gait like Owen changes personalities until I decide to saviour my energy for PE in two period’s time and I am suddenly concussed with the realisation that five more hours remain, at which point I no longer possess the resolve to run regardless of urgency. What’s the strategy operatives under torture use? I believe it’s something like “count to four, inhale, count to four exhale. Think of paradise and try to forget the fact their ripping out your fingernails” let’s hope that will pacify my urge to scream aloud for a short time. 357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6orLVc0AIp
Mr Ericson’s humble abode of the humanities is situated at the dead end of the main building’s west wing, journeying down that hall is comparable to a stroll into one those generic “walk in time” museum exhibits, the decor surrounding his class emanated with such nostalgia those with a keen nose could almost smell the mid life crisis in the air. Sickeningly, vibrant blossomed flowers span the wall space in a great mural arching over the great wooden door distinguished from the many others of it’s like by the rustic engravement of Mr Ericson’s initials and credentials with “Youths Beware!!!” emboldened upon it, put their by Ericson himself as a crude attempt at self awareness. I stand before this venerable eyesore and pace myself, angrily circulating air so as to tame the flames which had been crackling all morning and rehearse my feeble apology face, settling upon a quiver liken to a small house dog and a deep stare with the innocence of a toddler. A creaking ajarred entry renders me the center of attention once again as I fumble through the beads draped over the door I almost forgot existed. “Michael Darrick, What time do you call this?“ He inquired still poised pointing at a marker on the map he placed on the board like a statue brought to life. And, lights, camera, action, I now have the stage “I’m so sorry Mr Ericson I had… Complications and needed to see the nurse for a while” and cut, perfect, take five everybody. “I can see that” he said, glaring at the enormous clump of gauze at the center of my face “I don’t think it takes just under half an hour to dress a boo boo but you’re excused” he said with asininity and an element of sarcasm. 357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUhiteezEx
I shrugged to repeal the amassment of stares I was garnering and seated myself to the far right so as to overlook the classroom in its entirety and escape the path of the wandering lunatic that was Francis Ericson who compulsively paced along the aisles of his classroom and momentarily sitting himself uncomfortably close to any student who does not seem as so intensely enthused by the topic of discussion as himself. Were it Spartans he would hurl metre rulers as if they were javelins, be it Nazis he would erupt in bursts of German soliloquy and march to and fro as he told us of political subterfuge, Vikings? Prepare for constant rowing gestures and frequent appearance of his novelty styrofoam warhelm he took such pride in, Vietnam? Cheesy impersonations of American stereotypes, Knights? Enjoy the elaborate insults of yore. But best of all the puns, the horrendous, mentally degrading puns. 357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45uXVymkZ6
Mr Ericson was quite the character, to say the least and I mean this in the sense that witnessing him first hand would lead you to believe you have been trapped within the newspaper comic with the sheer absurdity on offer in a period with Ericson the enigma and to what would he rant today? The tyrant Joseph Stalin though the tangent Ericson had swerved to more regarded the gloriousness of this despotist’s moustache, impressive though it may be this hardly seemed relevant to our rapidly fleeting remainder of the term.Though were I to object i’m sure he would no doubt oppress my input and use that as a segway to talk about the absoluteness of power or something of the sort so silently I endured before good sense returned him to our main talking point. “People such as Stalin are compelling figures as they remind us of an unpleasant truth of our world…. The bad guys win sometimes… And with that I leave you to refer to your notes and articulate for me your thoughts on Stalin’s leadership” Well that’s just dandy an intermission to contemplate the morality of a man I have only had the time to contemplate the facial hair of, perhaps a commentary on his grooming methods would be insightful, with this in mind I scout those to my table for answers.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMS4ze595b
One opposite five as if I were the croupier of a game of blackjack, and all were staring with much the same stern pokerface. Prince, appearing as vibrant as ever, determined not to rekindle our earlier pleasantries sat at my right, next the nimble-witted narcoleptic Matthias Proctor a baffling mathematical genius who seemed to somehow absorb information through the deafening rumble of his own snoring, evidently they must be fed something exceptional at the Mormon commune he came from because his ability to succeed without ever appearing to work was exceptional however his analytical skills would do little good here, Next! Front and centre sits St David’s professional gardener and no I do not mean our groundskeeper Ronald was in attendance and in reference to this particular brand of gardening I mean not that traditionally conducted by the retired in need of occupation more of the concealed basement hydroponics variety, Leon Read. Never much of a baker but he was mostly certainly baked in a different sense most every day and at the current moment in the grips of his first “supplement” of the day, he would be of little help. That leaves me but two viable assets Haruka Nomi, whose assets were not too bad in their own right and Adrian way-too-fucking-many-middle-names Marshall, blessed be, finally somebody who could bring me up to speed if only I could pry his gawk away from her. “Adrian, could you run me through what I’ve missed?” I enquired as falsely polite as I could. He fluttered his eyes and babbled in surprise as he averted his attention back to the task at hand as if his ogling was not inherently obvious to anybody with an elementary level grasp of social behaviours “Why certainly. I made a few notes on the principles of Stalinism, simplistic but concise nonetheless, I trust they would suffice” he clarified, a simple “Sure go ahead” would be a whole lot fucking simpler but thanks anyway I sighed nasally knowing this to be Adrian’s typical manner which was only causing me irks today due to my surplus of unrespited frustrations.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xVW89E2tg
Where there a way to strut his academic prowess he would lunge at the chance, dressed impeccably in his ever so lavish and absurdly expensive blazer bedazzled in badges, brooches and ribbons signifying his many pursuits he insisted on being so gifted into the point many wondered if he did much else at all besides flaunt his synthetic opulence. “Thanks, man” I said dismissively “Twas my pleasure” he insisted “Twas”? Who the fuck still says twas? Though with my portrayal of his brazen bravado i’m sure you probably have pictured within your mind a shallow preppy narcissist driven by shiny pins and handshakes with the affluent, in fairness, his kind nature was one greatly redeeming factor of a boy otherwise misdiagnosed as a snob he was quite the opposite and were you able to tolerate his persona of being some kind of urban aristocrat long enough his company proved to be of thankless benefit, expecting nothing in return but the massage of his monstrously swollen ego. Just as I had suspected his notes showed a clear lack of understanding of the word “simplistic” on his part given that his notes spanned a ludicrous three and a half pages featuring everything from our man of interest’s annual change in leadership approach, several amatuer diagnosis of possible personality disorders at the root cause of his behaviour, the Lenin to Stalin transition and other assorted dull drivel That’s it! If he’s got Stalin’s shopping list here I’m done It appeared he had written in bulk to grant himself a brief intermission to resume staring at his painfully malignant infatuation without interruption whilst she, as per usual, immerses herself in her work making no attempt at interaction allowing Adrian to, as per usual, worship her unnoticed with all the more ease. Unpleasant prologue to the day aside, perhaps our oh so illustrious Adrian Reginald Wülfgang Fitzgerald something something who-gives-a-fuck needs himself a wingman, after all the potential spoils of such an arrangement are nigh irresistible I pondered but first I have a monolith of work to catch up on. 357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm94XsHwSUR
Enervating my wrist with the haste of my writing like pen to a seismograph I feel a lingering gaze piercing the top of my head buried in margined paper, a curious sense it is, the feeling of being watched, one which instinctively brings me unease and arouses me to stare in retaliation. I discover that Joseph Burns, sat alone at the far back, whimperingly beckons the meeting of our eyes, he had indeed taken notice of me earlier. He looked to have made little improvement to his mood since his sombre exit of Nesbit’s office and was in clear need of a consolement in seemed nothing could grant him. His cyan eyes were watery abysses without end telling a story his words dare not a brow furrowed and quivering as if about to give way not unlike his psyche no doubt, stricken with the paleness of a wraith, I was moved not to tears nor anger by his incessant distant lurking but fear as to what his hollow expression could mean for myself, something was pronouncedly wrong yet indistinguishable at the same time. Leaving it be I return to my straining literary marathon scrambling to jot down but a fraction of Adrian’s ramblings but find myself pursued by thoughts of what our encounter beyond the confines of this class may resemble and to what extent I may need to prepare a synthetic empathy or perhaps the contrary should his approach be brazen, I knew nothing of Joseph therefore I knew nothing of his tendencies. 357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNR5QDRWKN
Before long my time to scrounge morsels of the crucial details engrained within paragraph upon paragraph of shite before Ericson interjects like the beeping of an alarm clock you desperately want to hurl across the room “Aaaaaand that's enough everybody. Halt! Halt I say!” he commanded in an imperative but crude Russian accent waving his arms about and then beckoning for people to share their contributions at the sharp point of a finger. To utilise the political terms he was so fond of Ericson operated his class as an elitist republic disguised as an egalitarian democracy, in plain English what this essentially means is that he conducted class discussion as if all were free to speak when in reality but a few prone to his favour had the right of objection well the rest were granted his condescending silence and substanceless nodding and “ah huh” though I sat in a gray area between these two social classes in which my occasional input was requested but were the subject to get too contentious I would be neutered for my affinity towards callous humour in inappropriate situations apparently i’m what you call “insensitive” which had earned me a free pass for today. Adrian was granted his two minutes to speak which he very diligently exceeded aiming to enchant both his unrequited loves, the admiration of his teachers and Haruka who whilst quietly awaiting her input had taken to amateur artistry of characters from one of her many manga obsessions on her notepad in boredom. Harry Klint one of the most gristled and chargrilled of St David’s meatheads was granted a moment to express the bafflement that is his inability to think on the level of a fully functioning human as he outlined the painstakingly obvious assertion that “Stalin ruled because people listened to him” Well done! Two pumpkin stickers for you, now put your crash helmet back on and stop licking the window. Then came rudimentary laymanry from Gita Bhakti, who was unexpectedly sober this morning, and from Darren Willard, a sassy princess so effeminate his voice’s subtle whistle almost had a muffled hint of show tunes, he quite literally danced around the question as he swayed his hips and waved his limp wrists in unison to the upward inflection of his tone of voice before puffing out his chest and reseating with the finesse of a reenactment of a scene from Flashdance. The whole time as I observed the classroom dialogue that burn of an unrelenting gaze lingered, halting only when I looked to Joseph's direction to see him rapidly recede his head to his hands. 357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTB4GjievF
Finally, with only but a few minutes of the period remaining, Haruka took a heavy a breath unveiling for a mere moment her expertly concealed anxiety at the prospect of speaking in front of others and let forth a social commentary so profound it brought even the endlessly talkative among the class to silence. To paraphrase and saviour the reciting of a speech which to you is ultimately expository she tremblingly spattered “In such injustice and oppression the indifference of those too scared or too careless to act is when we see humanity at it’s most despicable. As Desmond Tutu once said “Evil triumphs when good men chose to do nothing” and history has proving we can and will do nothing, often because we feel as though we can do nothing.” She sealed shut the door to her mental safe space as she misinterpreted the stunned silence of her peers as judgment not as the silent applause that it was, Adrian patting her shoulder awkwardly to both reassure her and plead for her affections, a cute couple they would assuredly make if either of them could work out how to escape the shell they recluse inside of. Her words proved to be a sentiment that would stay away with for a long time to come even though I was blissfully unaware of how true her words would ring in the days ahead… If only I knew. And with that marked the end of today’s uneventful lesson, now came time to face Joseph and get to the bottom of his apparent quarrel with me357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsLuEANFVa
The stampede of briskly fleeing pupils constricted me and forced my awkward impatient pacing to and fro as I awaited it’s deadening. My jittered wandering within a menial five metre square caught Ericson’s attention whom falsely interpreted this as a social cue of my franticness to ask a question, seeing him walk over to me I briskly opt to barge my way through the throng congesting the door, the beads ensnaring people like a fishing net. 357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9wtiKZC8J
Heaving and hoeing past cumbersome guts and statured shoulders I gradually emerge from the mass in a stumbled pirouette Oh no you don’t, not twice in one day with a springed follow up step I pretend as if no such stumble occurred and walk to alcove to the far right corner of the hall and assume a nonchalant lean to await Joseph, who emerged not a moment too soon to continue his glare as he swooped towards me to converse beyond the site of others, clutching me and heaving me around the corner like an overly forceful dance partner “Look uh…. This isn’t… What I…” he muttered stutteringly before I spoke for him “I wasn’t supposed to notice you at Nesbit’s office I know. But look I don’t know what that was about and I don’t need to know or want to so I'll keep it to mys-” “-But what did you notice!!?” he interjected anxiously “Nothing” I said dismissively of the topic “What do you mean by that? What did you overhear!?” He insisted, I sighed heavily and answered his burning inquiries “You were bawling about something and Nesbit didn't seem to happy about it but that’s all I know, ok? I won't tell a soul” a brief silence of disbelief waned over Joseph before I brought it to end with “Y’know you’re supposed to go to Erin for issues like that right?” suggesting to him they confide in the queen of “Mhmm” our school counsellor Erin Blakely.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxBnP20opO
It was in that moment Joseph gulped down his anxiety so violently it was as if he had ingested a chunk of his own heart “She’d send me away!” He snarled without the proper consideration of the questions his rebuttal would bring which was made obvious by his sudden reverting of his gaze to the the tiling reminiscent of Jade and Malachite in texture “Why the fuck wou…” I answered my question before even uttering the final words of my sentence, for it was an answer both unequivocally obvious and disturbing in its implications something was indeed very awry in the Burns household but of what nature and to what extent was an answer best left to those of the appropriate qualification. 357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGixJJkstlF
Joseph realising he had only worsened the disrobing of his predicament quickly made his departing apologies “Look it’s none of your business alright? Just keep your trap shut and stay away from me I’ll be fine” true concern purely compassionate in nature drove for me to beckon him to return “Joseph wait a sec” “Stop it, leave me alone” he squealed and doubling his haste. It appeared that my uncharacteristic open avoidance of any involvement had counterintuitively brought me into the centre of this mess of emotional baggage but should I abstain at this point I may be labeled a coward for refusing to act, now it was my obligation to get to the bottom of this with Joseph’s help or without it matters not even though I do it for his sake I have no doubt that whatever it is that has kept him so internally petrified as I had seen that day would be no easy task to unveil.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo30QIMMn1M
