Ayo! Long time no see, fellow writers! -Muse8964 copyright protection854ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqmbzLAmmE 維尼
Muse...calm down, please, aren't we supposed to be serious? -McGee8964 copyright protection854ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3v1GaBDuG1 維尼
With a troll on the loose? Fat chance. XD -Tim8964 copyright protection854ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQy4JkUs6R 維尼
...Fair. -McGee8964 copyright protection854ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiBU1uwRCj 維尼
Hey everyone, it's your favorite NCIS fictive/protector here to let you know we have our first official crazed hate-fan! Seriously! They've gone on almost all of our stuff they can put their hands on and have tried to start a smear campaign against us! It's hilarious! Give it a read yourself if you want a laugh, we certainly got a kick out of it!8964 copyright protection854ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2IonivcEA 維尼
They even made an account just to leave these comments, and went by...get this: "Concerned Citizen"! Oh, Tim was dying with laughter when he went on our phone and saw the notifications! So we're writing here to say:8964 copyright protection854ＰＥＮＡＮＡPm1FSWrmcb 維尼
We don't owe an explanation to anybody, and especially not to trolls. But, guess what? We know how and roughly when and why we formed, so you all get to know!8964 copyright protection854ＰＥＮＡＮＡh2SSUWTSOq 維尼
It's the year of 2007, close to 2008. Em had been a singlet for a while now (her whole life!) but was diagnosed with anorexia, then depression, and later on suicidal ideation. Yeah, she was a pretty run-down kid. Isolated, bullied off and on, didn't really have any lasting friendships that weren't toxic or ended poorly. But she was also a bookworm. She adored being able to escape her life and being able to slip into someone else's skin just by opening a page. With everything going on around her, it's hardly a wonder that the quiet, introverted, creative girl would start to daydream. She created a character with short blonde hair, striking blue eyes, and never-ending sarcasm and sass. Sound familiar? Because she created Muse!8964 copyright protection854ＰＥＮＡＮＡNkE2qrIlWM 維尼
Now, for a while, Muse was a main character in an on-going day-dream, an imaginary friend of sorts. But over time, Em became less and less in control of what Muse did. They'd be harsher, quicker to respond, funnier, and even in some ways happier. Eventually when Em went to daydream Muse would create a story all their own, and Em wouldn't have to lift a finger, just watch. This was our first spilt: Em created Muse to escape this world and go to one where she was happier, had more fun, and could do what she wanted. All in all, pretty normal for a girl her age, save for the fact that Muse was, well...sentient.8964 copyright protection854ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkbp1lCEpE 維尼
Fast forward to the year 2012. School was...bleeding awful. Bullies everywhere, mocking Em, asking her out on dates for a dare, manipulating her, and abusing her. Badly. Muse was full of righteous anger that couldn't be acted upon, seeing as how Em learned from a young age standing up for herself only got her in trouble. She needed to block the feelings, she needed to be cold, calculated, have all the insults brush off her back. And so, she was. Or. Well. I was.8964 copyright protection854ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOQglqDa9Q 維尼
Yeah, I formed during the middle school years. I was cold and calculating, driven by logic that told us that our abusers weren't worth our time. And I absorbed most of the blows we were given. When I couldn't absorb them, they were the worst of the worst, and Em certainly couldn't take them. So I took all the anger, the shame, the indignation and put it to the side to be the calculated person I needed to be. And out of those emotions we got Emily. Emily took the blows I couldn't, and she absorbed everything to be bottled up and released in a pseudo-safe way at a later date. She and I butt heads, a lot, because pure emotions and pure logic don't mix, but I'm grateful for her and she's grateful for me...most of the time.8964 copyright protection854ＰＥＮＡＮＡspm5aMINoa 維尼
Now, the body is 14 and Em is learning about gender expression and identity. And she wants to fit in, desperately. She wants to be the good cis girl everyone expects her to be, but she keeps getting these thoughts about feeling androgynous, or, heaven forbid, masculine. She ignores them valiantly for as long as she can, you can see this is some of our early writing on here, mostly poetry. But the thoughts keep on coming back.8964 copyright protection854ＰＥＮＡＮＡLixDJ7YGbW 維尼
So she detaches them from her. Which, in our head, is quite literal. These thoughts coalesced every time Em got the urge to feel something she didn't want to be, and out of the ashes rose Logan, our agender buddy who made us think we were genderflux when they would front.858Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gbvs7oTdD
8964 copyright protection854ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BLQbL95Go 維尼
Lo came around this time as well. Em and Logan had to realize that they were no longer children, and no one would treat them that way, and they had to grow up. Both were reluctant to do so, but they took their childish feelings and put them aside from them, though kept them close. Not so close as to be them, though, which meant we got a demigender child running around headspace who was 4-years-old and was affectionately called "Little Logan" when we could feel them wanting to front, which was eventually shortened to Lo. And we stayed this way...for oh, three? Years.8964 copyright protection854ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BGBW49dQ9 維尼
Then senior year comes along, and you better believe all the demons come running from the closets. It's August, we've just started school. And we all assume Logan is fronting, because that's what Logan does. Even if we don't know we're individual, we know that most of the time we would identify as agender.8964 copyright protection854ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWG6krTkhC 維尼
But Logan wasn't fronting. And we were getting strange thoughts about observing guys that weren't in a sexual manner, but in a "I wish I could be like that" manner. And oh, no, we've got another one! Here comes Tim!8964 copyright protection854ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDkMZeab2j 維尼
Tim threw us off balance for possibly an entire month. It took a lot of getting used to, a cis male in headspace running an AFAB body. It took time, a binder, and quite a bit of dread, but Tim eventually settled into his role as the new Host of the body, a body with a now count of seven people. That lasted through suspecting we were a system in December, realizing that no, we were not having auditory hallucinations in March, and fallouts because of it shortly thereafter.8964 copyright protection854ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMnx8Irx4Q 維尼
June 1st, we got Silver. Silver is...the Edge Lord as dubbed by Tim. He's into scene and emo and likes making kandi, and draws furries. He's the embodiment of everything "cringey" that we liked but didn't dare admit it. He's that release, and we don't entirely know why he came about when he did, but he's nice most of the time, so we allow it.8964 copyright protection854ＰＥＮＡＮＡfENghIjwp1 維尼
And now it's July, and we have Reynie, who's the newest of the bunch and the masculine child that counteracts Lo's feminine childhood tendencies. Best guess? He's the embodiment of the childhood Tim wished he could have had. We're not positive about that though.8964 copyright protection854ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVIqZRSgPm 維尼
We're in therapy, and probably a week or two away from getting the "official"-official diagnosis of either DID or OSDD-1b. So, Mx. "Concerned Citizen"...there you have it. This is how we came about. It doesn't explain everything, but when you realize we only found out in March that there were legitimate different people in our brain rather than rapidly changing feelings and perspective, then, yeah, it might explain how we changed over time as people formed.8964 copyright protection854ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJxc5bH6BG 維尼
And, a personal message to anyone who wants to compare us to Split *pointed glare at above troll*: Shut up and stick it. We are not violent, never have been and never will be. We're nine people trying to live normal lives in one body. We wrote about self-discovery, and we've changed a lot of our opinions on things since the body was 15. (Not our stance about Aces and Aros being LGBT+, Logan wants to add with an obscene gesture I won't repeat.)8964 copyright protection854ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVefgIgPDE 維尼
This was our story, hope you enjoyed. We'll try and keep you posted if anyone new pops up, and we might even describe our inner world if we feel so inclined. Hate all you want, trolls, you can't stop this mess of a system being unapologetically themselves!8964 copyright protection854ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Vf0z9y31s 維尼
With much love, a hug, and possible prayers for your understanding that we're not freaks who need your brand of "help",8964 copyright protection854ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmMxjinSZ9 維尼
McGee8964 copyright protection854ＰＥＮＡＮＡExb4G6qWmR 維尼
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