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Romance
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The Sea Maiden
Co-Writer Luvina*
4 spaces left
Collaborators
  • G: General Audiences
  • PG: Parental Guidance Suggested
  • PG-13: Parents Strongly Cautioned
  • R: Restricted
PG-13
RATED
1731 Reads
14 Likes
2 Bookmarks
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The Sea Maiden
2 Bookmarks
Intro 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
#2
Eyes of the Sea
Luvina
Jul 13, 2017
2
3
150
3 Mins Read
Comments ( 3 )

Nicole Armas - Love the story so far. There's plenty of atmosphere and enough detail about the world the characters are in without revealing too much. I like the inclusion of superstition and the manner of speaking that DeVane and the men have; it's a rather subtle indication of what kind of society they live in and perhaps what social standing they possess. The concept of stone trees is interesting as well.

One thing I want to point is "single-masted ketch (type of boat)". I think the parenthesized explanation is unnecessary as the description of the ketch and the actions of the characters is enough for a reader to draw the conclusion that it is a type of boat that they are in. From a technical standpoint, everything else is pretty sound as far as my eyes can see. 

I look forward to seeing more from you!
1 year agoreply

Luvina - I am so flattered! Thank you! I have to admit not even I know everything about this world-- I, too, still have so much to discover in it. Thank you for reading and I will fix the unnecessary explanation part. : )
1 year agoreply

Nicole Armas - @Luvina, Your welcome!
1 year agoreply

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