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Crime
Suspense
INVISIBLE
Writer sitalakshmi
Writer
  • G: General Audiences
  • PG: Parental Guidance Suggested
  • PG-13: Parents Strongly Cautioned
  • R: Restricted
PG
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#15
The Power
sitalakshmi
Nov 14, 2017
0
2
125
3 Mins Read
Comments ( 2 )

Saberwolf - Some continuity issues I Spotted.

Firstly you clearly mentioned that they went outside to a silent place to have a chat, Then who were the people who stood by watching them.

Secondly Jenny was about to tell Amy something, Why did she pause in between?


Also a little lack of realism, If my friend somehow knew that I was being blackmailed or what not, I would freak out and WOULD NOT let her walk away with an old weirdo. Besides the advice the old woman gives... Is kinda disappointing. I dunno if its just me, but the description was vague, and kinda, felt like you cheated us? I don't know if it makes sense... Uh perhaps it was "Incomplete???"
1 year agoreply

sitalakshmi - First of all thank you for taking the time to leave feedback. You obviously are taking a great interest in my story and I appreciate it.

The scene with the old woman is not done. Neither is her explanation and advice a complete one. It will be elaborated upon.

People just came around because Amy, frustrated and freaked out, was causing a scene. As with Jenny, she was shocked but there is a reason why she immediately did not go after Amy. Jenny paused because she was indescive about telling Amy what she knew. Again...Will be elaborated.

Thank you  again. Your comments are appreciated.
1 year agoreply

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