你好，我是莊坌但。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQprpX3URKo
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUNEw2fkn5
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhT7SCjlnp
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaT4Oq5XyLf
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxbqWAw3zV
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhvO1wF967
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXU9Bn64hvH
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbqR3zmJFf
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98sFtx58l0
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPuKdUtjE1
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjSIoBQFO5
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjX0IYKEAC
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemazJABQX6
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJSKmolaWM
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4wJR3rhSI
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvblVhESGju
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5cnWUp1gr
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGAhAEDEq8H
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bjMIDy2ef
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgl7264MpG
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgeWLLG475
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NaEZ2CMhL
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡByNqsGrfy2
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYBijglJnx
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWKhVsBqYM
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1eP2CrGMae
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIJI5aZxnb
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpPpCCdKYB
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQUXKNWaXb
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4foCeLjsUl
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmn9h84nTL8
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2HiLtGLty
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBbgZQwYfP
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4x7KBijaZ
「你好，我是……」451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgXDe12wHd
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkrHvJjrcM
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfRtZ3jcLs
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWE6UGzH3o2
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPAxKFcoUR
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7qqsYBtXd
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzGdae5424
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQme1N7OV0
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78UmwVsIdH
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjg4b1clVhK
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdzUjTzheT
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBYPPyImdi
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDyrjGPBGiG
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmluce7q1x
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXaUkzrqLk
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwp5pj428c
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFkFno0aAC
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTh8gBunxF
不好啊非常的不好啊！451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tV3JDYBLS
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUpIHns2HR
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGeEEebkAH
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ775VyJ0WBe
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Iu25UG2HJ
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIV7uXPYGc1
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmztWBYV1ft
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxANSCLVscE
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXJTWyHW8P
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sTEx6Gnf3
出了社會，總是得找份工作。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mDQzZilUh
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBMzYIKrK3
我自己買了台50CC通勤。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOm21Z6IT8g
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4lNGPKiM8
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSq9tdOlPkx
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5rLA488PF
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMkhGhsVQ1
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmlYW79r5R
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBXKqWGjuV
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgf6Yi4K8P
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEpPXY75nM
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWEhKO1Cyn
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2eg2OFu7RD
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qfFE9XsTs
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYq13wZucSZ
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLTuZOe95x
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1PgINkV7yw
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2QX9c8CwB
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLBRBxUtZy
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iBxcv4yYj
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjcFHoNE4h
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkWyTRmzU3
它熄火，我傻眼。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2GQnnYRPMM
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gB9hEj7nh
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOQ1PHYTCi
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxnpojnF4n
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXO2STLrQJ
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCV2BOzkO1b
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6z24io2e7
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPJkq2pJ8U
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYPfnEhouF
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3R9yBfttl
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3721LE9Kx
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcO79OwAavg
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdP3Z9kZ2o
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4AqJ1czRK8
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHbdPENQWP
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMWhp6HUn2
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMw3kr38TPh
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