你好，我是莊坌但。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbdd8GGmYg
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHX5YH0nygo
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVHPXyV34H
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7grCZUBml
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPruuwmY6Q
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpm4PaI55a
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWlTnh35l4
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZILwZOihT
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmqLTcjH5V
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wjG6DQxfW
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2TDNGPFTn
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16H0cLlyn3
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8VZiMT3mwr
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yULgyjem1
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iq5KhA25j
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1QHsq75oc
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83U1VChCi7
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZy5WS2S6A
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhw9tnEipI
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡanajCqXkBe
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1f4ebFrd6
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAxwPZwCoB
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcZUOw2NV6
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqiqXrphcE
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMl0uhoKKhk
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIpnt23DHC
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9TaXIi69C
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAZpnNA95c
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7D28SooLmD
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxbVSFx5Tw
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DBcSXfW4P
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHqDsrWeaB
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZrXpAP93fh
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNtQGzytvk
「你好，我是……」489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqiYR8JS2MH
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2OR6DpP2I
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvvul3HZvO
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lpXt9Xql9
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu70tdLVvLp
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhleInS8P6f
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2WRFI9Vgl
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMqz1AjjtQ
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwGMKcKaIZ
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUlQREjPqn
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpfMkhgjLY
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51DKe7x8Xy
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzdrEGYwx0
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEvZzmbrdJ
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3xZRx0Pxq
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6irYGT9TM
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMC1LZC6Z7n
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFnthyJsjL
不好啊非常的不好啊！489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmII7fn3jg
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxDSdTI4ab
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qHwQ0u6KF
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGqEWzcniN
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4jFuAXRxY
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprqWMEHdDi
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrzxLD4rxY
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgEbYeXLEU
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLerhxa3hkj
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Ivm8tCt5U
出了社會，總是得找份工作。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcei829UxJo
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqitwetg3Ce
我自己買了台50CC通勤。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3hECrLd7t
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVbZBnGpv0
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoItdEdKu7
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCMOTiSQTL
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTm5TKQZUv
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4iNHLnYKlu
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCs82jNdhgd
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rgI0vgY7Z
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw21Pxw0uH4
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qHtlZEXKi
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZAXH2Lhgn
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdalPfcC6D
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzx4c9ilR69
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWahsxy5RO5
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wFW4r36ct
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtM8HM78JA
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK41VVgRiw6
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG80lR7jHvN
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0a3iMonUO
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABHklHBaTE
它熄火，我傻眼。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUgcoGvwBp
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCDBXZ3Yq6
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ107HHbzJp1
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNddH2KbyR
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79Fl6NLYNK
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnlobA342I
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbk0kThq2e
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJWAO0vb5v
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NQmPqHsCN
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCXjJu4vQ8
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmzGlQ95IC
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZlWBqY0jS
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSn0BBbkmk
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49nuTkfhfC
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡni8XtntpQa
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsx5MnKsREW
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEP8ZFj3IR7
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