你好，我是莊坌但。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaR5il2jf5X
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5uRwCtNHM
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgV0nmieDAE
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnMpsa0NCM
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEH8oURaTac
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgeGEEXTg8
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4iIWo8zxS
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKVYeg93ab
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0mfoowBap
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JBSTUj32m
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfAVVYvA0A
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FtDGdSIue
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojUNaw97j3
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsoZQglLGj
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCs3HLj5I5
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3VjrNRVJXw
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMjMXO7b3R
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpje2t4gKrw
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYiMjsj7UF
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiC2ZYbsrA3
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIZK1fwdVA
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsiBT8nHBo
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmNHSmQFaS
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6Eene5Sj0
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mWYd11CpT
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCVXv3lvUa
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUKScnrL7y
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0htKla7DT
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWKVTjjFD1
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAktWc6Qfzc
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvJgvj2RaO
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqmAJQgrmH
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLDdUcHArB
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX17g9XpFbQ
「你好，我是……」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDz7hQnhBb
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmU597yBDSq
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9twzcHdbvL
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0jAvn0Bba
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXXmj6MvQz
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6HcBGR0i4Y
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtNrUFdgO0
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQummnJeZEA
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DIXo3VfbU
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsiCnOJedR
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0ng2EzSXw
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibKQBoSjXo
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpoD7YfUinQ
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKTJQqlngc
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdTcBPk1k2
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZAwaUEkBA
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkXKGvZ2QZ
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQR0GLIxdZt
不好啊非常的不好啊！487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoESsBa2XNG
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7Os1AhhZI
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERZ13flyPG
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwzrahWjpn
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvicvZF22PC
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPzMwOQXhY
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1nO84KLwas
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmQzX0vNRc
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvrVpBzXGk
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7y8EFAAp7
出了社會，總是得找份工作。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbO62AmSfX
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkcYvoa4Jj
我自己買了台50CC通勤。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrcwiEEY5l
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF3QUw4pmj2
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfK8zJ223TM
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKI2zxaYrv
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHA23rOgOgo
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2Eju9KEL2
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6DUTon5iF
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lLnxoy5f0
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYevDexjzx
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0bpwvx9th
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBLy4y1Bml
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnkCbmFvfI
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrKG2HIKc8
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdwO1qgwJb
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoS1VrhekXg
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7gHOVQJLv
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HtRwhM0MP
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSMVzzh4U5
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZsnClMm2I
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUAvO9Qjrz
它熄火，我傻眼。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMzomo2GCp
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgepBtFReDW
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOz0bL5Gubz
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCaHaKka9g
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRcM2hfxqj
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQlrkitQaF
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBKVTmqvyZp
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSYBPoCasm
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rH7LrZMVs
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ397Vn9EnlH
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqZcKwOj4l
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFuhSnn3aLz
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2WAVvaBKT
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5VknCo47e
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4oLTknyapv
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnc1Jb83zZ
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyeHxHq28dx
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