你好，我是莊坌但。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4PZyZXDRh9
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcUl3GWVmX
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxn231FZzo
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3ovTCXeo2
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTIw7lbhQeB
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVDnkwXem6
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCUnxYLFIZ
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwssjt3PXqv
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBk6bhYFuz
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xbA9B7q1k
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz23CO8F3yR
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVoIR3HQjet
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXhjGi9kYm
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQ55EaHtfy
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2jMS03wiu
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0lw1LGaWd
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFS0V2GP0u
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHYhSmOwty
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vgc9Q431q
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mg6XITczX
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPo6s4crMFa
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1xkVjcgTO
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5dhtPtulZ
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBKuiumnOj
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmkP0jzFMT
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GfdbQ3QnN
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qlQn0dA9B
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGiJojJwx5
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoVLbAuYSUo
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzgKWMAsAG
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uh74Q04UL
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyise6w0Wku
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVBZfHgF9x
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4uVYkhnEB
「你好，我是……」446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBivtMxWr7
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0oN80DeSy
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EJP1cbG48
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOV9CGFHiqB
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxCHkQ8EXQ
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9krOII14xI
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDecmt8spPi
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJiMyHpu2oT
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74yKRbGsfD
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lOpCVy2lz
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBtxFpMqeJ
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11F3OK5hPm
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZ5j6vq7uX
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwDnfw8RBA
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcfvRdUS2a
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRWsrombg0
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8gloCYEgT
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfi5TPvSGRm
不好啊非常的不好啊！446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZ1keaAujo
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1czT1nd1Bo
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3cV38VcqZ
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ouoQlmMZx
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpibbNSiVfz
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbn0sVpFfR
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPS5J3QXlWZ
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4GOAhGzYD
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LIOLNUkwk
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7XkF89cqD
出了社會，總是得找份工作。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDbQjZhkkV
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbu20OAmYS4
我自己買了台50CC通勤。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtn4VWwu5yg
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCiYiz2Hl7K
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmPawTAvqU
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jDRqtb9Yj
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLadNf9fZqa
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4fWH7c7Xv4
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzN3MugGDFO
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXeqG1Jkk5
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4l0JBHGLYQ
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsUhIYYTPu
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3KbnJztpD
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5S3HcZAVq2
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnulzzGtd6
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimCemsDF27
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Tamj4XONP
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWClK8jmb4
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7pXloDlNJ
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPKjfmY7X2
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgLGy22Ll6
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Ok28mfVEF
它熄火，我傻眼。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKWepYVSoJ
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxK6zciArom
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygKbCGrLRy
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjpkqjYnWW
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrShKVVgVE2
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQa05SYXytM
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEXbiydqR1
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QXififzSE
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMC8TE3gj2
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7M3JD8fxYT
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hKFvLhHgD
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYD6rkPa7u
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0MlahYK7c
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkH1X3gijt
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoiB9HzHFH
446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG40EZDawfa
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！446Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuGJmf7JSx
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