Inspiration; reminding me of two mirror worlds, two worlds trying desperately to reach out to each other, and a lonely soul watching it all.
THE WATCHER – C.M Quinn
In the lonely silence of the control room Pandora sat with her legs crossed, her burnt red robes pooled about her frame, watching the holographic display of two planets; Haru and Ena. Two jewel-green worlds with splashes of vivid blue – oceans. Pandora closed her eyes and for a moment she could picture the vast ocean stretching before her, a mind of its own as it beat an ancient tune against sheer cliffs and pearl-white sand. When she opened her eyes, the illusion dispelled. The cold, sterile grey metal of the room, with it’s shining white console, was returned to it’s place in reality.
She waved her hand over Haru, zoning in on the dense mountain ranges on the largest continent. There wasn’t much in the way of settlements. Much of the population they’d installed had constructed their settlements on the low lying coastal regions with rich, fertile soil. Still, a few scattered cabins dotted amongst the smattering of forests that etched the steep mountains and pale blue streams. Lazily, she flicked her hand here and there, flying through the mountains when a flash of black caught her eye, stark against the green world. She snapped her fingers and the image stopped.
A tiny burnt out cabin hunkered in the middle of a small clearing by a cliff’s edge. It was nothing so spectacular compared to the vast coastal cities of Haru or the treetop cities in Ena. It was lonely and quiet, void of life within; yet, just a few feet from the front door, a single bush, with two pale blue flowers.
“Myosotis, commonly known as the forget-me-not,” murmured a flat, feminine voice from behind Pandora. “Signs of true love and good memories.”
Pandora snapped her fingers and the hologram turned off, the lights above flicking on. She glanced over her shoulder. Emery in her dark, resplendent glory with dark skin and rich obsidian hair tumbling over one shoulder, loosely braided, stared at her. She wore the same robes, though they flattered her tall, lean frame more than Pandora’s short, wiry body.
“Are you here to scold me?” Pandora said mockinng, rising to her feet. She brushed her robes by habit and looked behind Emery for her usual procession of admiring scholars, whom found Emery’s studies and vast knowledge fascinating. The irony being that Emery had an arrogant scorn of the people themselves. “And alone, too, how fortunate for me.”
Emery smiled but it was a kind of smile that was hard to read, distant and guarded. “You’re aware of what you’re doing. I don’t need to say anything, do I?”
“No, your eyes say enough,” replied Pandora, stalking to the door.
The resounding sigh stopped Pandora in her tracks. Once, she’d hungered for Emery’s damn approval. It was the one thing that had drawn her from her scornful isolation in the early days of her training. Emery, ironically, took the time to make Pandora see Haru and Ena properly. She basked in her teacher’s praise.
Then, one day, it was gone and Pandora found herself at the edge once more, comforted only by the fascination that Emery had given her. In confusion and bitterness, Pandora told herself she didn’t care, that she was happy alone. Yet, the whole time, she felt incomplete, like something was missing. Maybe it was Emery’s attention or maybe it was something else, that the endless watching of the two worlds wasn’t enough anymore. The lonely watcher was tired.538Please respect copyright.PENANArFLV8k8opS
“I worry for you, that’s all. Is that so wrong?” Emery asked quietly but it didn’t sound as honest as it once was.
Pandora half turned back. “Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, well, you know how it goes. Goodbye, Emery.”
She left her mentor there, staring at her back, and made her way to her quarters. There, she went in, stripped off, and showered. When she stepped out and passed through the drying fans into her room there was a knock at the door. She grabbed her robe and wrapped it around herself, tying off in a loose bow. A moment later she swiped her hand over the panel and the door thrummed open.
The hallway was empty, save for a bundle of flowers on the ground, wrapped in brown paper. Forget-me-nots, she found herself thinking, kneeling down to the flowers. Yet, as she went to grab them, her fingers passed through and they vanished in front of her. She shot to her feet, rubbing her eyes. The flowers were gone. She quickly stepped back into her room, her mind racing. Never before had she hallucinated.
Shaking her head, she shed her robe and changed into a synthetic white shirt and matching pants. She slipped her feet into basic white shoes and strode out of her room.
Down in the Haruan environmental lab, which was one of the space station’s larger labs, she was mercifully alone. The other Watchers in her division weren’t due for a couple more hours, which gave her time alone. To work, to distract herself, to pretend that something wasn’t missing.
She ran scans over Haru’s climate, checking for any predicted storms or natural disasters, including the pressure of tectonic plates for earthquake warnings. There was a slight drop in rain levels in the northern hemisphere where farming was prominent; so, with some minor adjustments to the hidden satellites in orbit, systems were adjusted to manipulate the weather and increase rainfall marginally. Nothing major but enough to assist in the growth of the crops common in the region. As it began to initialise the request she sat back in her chair and leant back, tilting her head up as she closed her eyes.
“You’re worried, Pandora. why?” A rumbling voice stirred through her mind, a soft whisper threading around her thoughts.
Instead of startling her it drew her deeper into her mind. She imagined herself in front of that burnt out cabin; only, it wasn’t burned and she was sitting by a dozen blooming forget-me-nots, basking in the warmth of the midday sun.
“They’ll come for me. I made too many enemies when I left,” came a distant reply in her own voice, as though spoken from afar.
A hand settled on Pandora’s shoulder, snapping her awake. She jolted and looked up, wide-eyed. Dark brown eyes stared down at her, worried but kind.
“Maru? What are you doing here? You’re not due for hours,” said Pandora, rubbing her sleepy eyes.
Maru smiled, her eyes crinkling at the edges. “I don’t sleep as well as everyone else. You know that. I figured I’d come here, do something productive at least.”
Pandora had never really asked why Maru didn’t sleep. It seemed such a common fact, as normal as the change of watches, the meal times and faculty meetings. She thought on her own sleepless nights, of the flowers she imagined, and even the voices she swore she just heard. Probably from the lack of sleep. Guilt gnawed at her mind. Emery might’ve hurt her but Maru hadn’t and didn’t deserve the brunt of Pandora’s fickle moods.
“Why don’t you sleep?” Pandora asked quietly, looking back down at her console – casual, as if it was little more than idle chat.
Maru took her seat next to her. “Oh, I used to have dreams about Ena, you know? Got to the point where I wanted to dream more than work, so I started taking stuff to stay awake. Now I can’t sleep.”
Pandora glanced over. “You dream about Ena?”
Maru shrugged. “A long time ago.”
Pandora was on her way back to her room, the long route, when she heard the distant voice of Emery. She slowed as she approached the office of the head scientist, the leader of the station, Dr Edgar Faro, and heard their conversation. She wasn’t normally snoopy but she heard snatches, her name scattered amongst it.
“…the procedure wasn’t complete with Pandora. She may-“
“Whatever she recalls can be erased. I agree the procedure isn’t ideal to do repeatedly but we can’t have her use the Icarus gate to go back, can we? Our energy supplies to use that are sparse as it is; for jumps, that is,” Edgar said dismissively.
“She’s obsessed with Haru, even without remembering. It’s getting attention. Too much, really,” said Emery uneasily.
There was a pause where Pandora leaned even closer to the door, holding her breath as her mind raced. Whatever she recalls can be erased? Fear wrapped icy shards around her.
“Well, then she can always be removed – for good. We’ve done it before, after all,” conclude Edgar.
Pandora staggered away and dashed off to her room. There, she slammed the door shut behind her and sunk against it. Forgotten memories, a betrayal from Emery, talk of killing Pandora as if she was so easy to replace. Fear, confusion and hurt swelled in her chest but stilled at its deafening crescendo. If someone had tampered with her memory then there was maybe one way to break down the walls, especially if the procedure – which Pandora only knew a little about – hadn’t been entirely successful, for whatever reasons.
She left her room, still shaking a little, and found Maru’s sister’s lab. Temi was their doctor onboard but her unorthodox mind resulted in experiments sometimes frowned upon. She had a lot of experimental drugs and projects she was working on. Pandora had only heard a little of them in passing. One, she remembered very well, however. Using the chip in her wrist she got past Temi’s basic security and got into her lab. At the back was a series of clear cupboards, storing a myriad of drugs. Pandora opened the middle one and ran her eyes down the shelves. At the very bottom, tucked in the corner, was the one in question. She grabbed it and then hurried over to a nearby table, where she got a needle-gun. She slid the vial into the gun and then, with a deep breath, punched it into her arm. There was a sharp sting, then a chill snaking through her arm. At first, nothing happened; then-
Light exploded in her mind. A thousand things firing off at once. She fell to her knees with a scream, clutching at her head as images flashed before her. Incoherent, full of white noise, a mirage of smeared colour half the time. Darkness pulled her under.
When she woke an indeterminable time later – hours, possibly but she wasn’t sure – her head was clear. Tears streamed down her face before she realised it. Then the grief appeared. All she’d lost – no, all that had been ripped from her mind – came to her. Most of it, anyway. Some memories were fractured, incomplete. The drug had returned them but the initial procedure had damaged them beyond repair, it seemed.
Before she knew it, she was off out of the lab, running through the station. Past co-workers, who called out to her. Worried, confused at her running past, crying and screaming. One may have run after her but she didn’t care. Then she was at the control room – a brigde-like room with a semi-circle of consoles. In the middle was a metal arch, a console next to it. She ran to it. All she knew was she had to get out of the station, find him. A cry of frustration tore through her.
Him, him, him! What is your name? She saw his face but couldn’t name him, only that she loved him. Loved with a dizzying intensity, sharpened by the knowledge that he had loved her just the same.
She stopped at the gateway’s console, her chest heaving.
“Pandora!”
She spun around. Emery stood a few feet away, looking – to her credit – shocked. “What are you doing?”
“I remember!”
“What?” Emery’s voice dropped to a low whisper.
“You made me forget Haru, forget him! Why?”
Emery’s face changed, grew harder, colder. “Why? You were going to tell those people everything. You were going to start a revolution. Did you honestly think we’d let you?”
Pandora drew a shaky breath. “What did you do to him?”
“I’ll tell you, if you step away now. I’ll tell you everything.”
The hunger to know, to cleave her memories back together, surged inside of Pandora but she didn’t trust Emery. Not anymore. Behind her, Maru and Temi, and all the others gathered. If she left with Emery she’d be killed. Her hand flew to the console and punched in the orders. Time slowed to a crawl.
“You stole my memories, my life. Now, I’m taking them back,” she said and slammed her hand down.
The world exploded into light. Pandora focused in her mind on the face of the man she loved, whose name she forgot, and the world they’d tried to save.
I’m coming for you.
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