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評語336Please respect copyright.PENANA00YTVMYP7M
◉ 最重要的一點:其實他是想自殺才衝出馬路的!336Please respect copyright.PENANA31jZPo1fJj
◉ 故事中不應出現遺書。336Please respect copyright.PENANAJ8BfJweW7a
◉ 第一句的說話流於平淡,並不能突出主角的性格及其心理狀態。336Please respect copyright.PENANAafxTDH8qWS
◉ 最後一句卻將太多內容集於一句,不過幸好最後用了一個省略號,使焦點放在了為書上。336Please respect copyright.PENANAdUVS37CL5I