在走路、在看電影、在說話，做任何事情的時候腦子都會一直轉，有時很想把它拿出來對它大罵：你給我差不多一點喔！404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡViQltvCjCJ
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以寫文章來說好了，想寫點什麼，拿起筆，卻什麼都寫不出來。如同在沙漠中快要渴死，把身旁的水袋拿出來用力的一直擠、一直擠，最後袋子破了還是沒有一滴水。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwaUUWzHldm
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說到底為什麼要追求靈感呢？404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruw9EXOJCC
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這個世代最常說的what how why who where。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBktwVyqHF
就連保全，是個就連我去別人家大廈時，一個普通的保全都會問我的：「你是誰？你在做什麼？你要去哪？」這樣一些哲學性的問題。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCHSuPOkXM
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如果我沒有答案，沒有自己做這些事為了誰、為什麼的理由，我怎麼能真正意義上的說我在完成夢想的道路上？404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHEDPtmS10
我曾經以接近病態的情緒死死抱著這樣的理念。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUPwu8JdAr
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所以我認真想過，多認真呢？大概是我把三色豆從蛋炒飯裡全挑出來，這樣超高層度的認真。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPBFrIOYtV
思考到我想再把腦子拔出來大罵：你還不TM給認真點！到底……404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxccxsUvLfA
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為、什、麼、要、靈、感？！404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVA8EIL6JXW
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「因為沒靈感，會很想死啊。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiHID65dN5
不是隨便就能掛在嘴邊的那一種死喔，而是真的想從各種意義意上化為塵埃的那一種。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZkt9Cjhd2
但如果我用口語來說，我想會用「輕描淡寫」吧，因為發現了這些事兒，不為任何人。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUWXUbAPfk
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很討厭沒能力的自己，但無論如何都無法將這份憧憬給捨棄。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSlJYDPJwo
就是抱持著這種想法，才能苟延殘喘的走到現在吧。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsahUO1zkIn
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每當夜深人靜想到這些，腦中就會浮出日本文學作家-太宰治，在人間失格中的開頭：身而為人，我很抱歉。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhm9v7VtYMR
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不過人呀，就是會在掉入近乎絕望的深淵之後，才發現另一種生存的方式。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzKWNrvygT
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所以我一直寫，把筆拿在手上，如鏟子一般，向孕育我的大地不斷的鋤著。每天戰戰兢兢、抱持感謝的，在我化為塵埃之前。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIrD5YPcI5
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對不起。身而為人，我很感謝。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1nYi4Wdo8
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