"You're in love"
Ex-FUCKING-cuse me. No. Just no. I don't know what got into this guy's head but I am not afraid to smack it off of his neck. I'm not in love. Pssh. No way. I'm not in love with our resident psychologist. I barely even know the girl! This is why I hate talking to my bestfriend at work about my problems. Hell, this isn't even that of a problem. You see, we're exact opposites, if you think I'm the chronic liar in this story well you've got him to be the most honest and blunt person I've ever met in my life. I don't even know why I'm still friends, or actually even stay as bestfriends with him despite the fact that he knows I lie to him 98% of the time. Cass, short for Castro, that's his stupid name.
"How did you even come up with that, you tard?" I retorted violently.
"Jake... Admit it. You fucking love the girl." Cass took a bite off his chicken sandwich and looked into my eyes while munching on it. I hate it when he does that.
"I don't." I tried to act all mature and stuff with that brief answer.
"You just said her name 143 times, I can take a hint, so don't give me that shit." He counted that. I wasn't even done with my story yet.
"Okay, maybe I'm acting a little bit obsessed with Amy but..."
"144" he interrupted.
"...but I'm not..IN LOVE with her? It's just that... I don't know..whenever I'm with her, I can't help myself and be honest. She's like…she's like a truth serum to me. AND THIS IS NOT ME AND YOU KNOW IT." and I thought raising my vice would shut him up.
"Oh, of course I do, that's why I can tell you're lying."
"I'm not"
"Okay, don't go and give me all that short replies like you're some cool shit and you think by doing that you can get away with what you're feeling for Our Lady in Purple. It's so obvious, Jake."
"Stop."
"Do you love her?"
"Oh my God, are you out of your mind?" Ugh. I hate him so much right now.
"See, you suddenly stopped giving me your cool dude short responses shit whenever I ask something along the lines of love"
"You don't realize this is a big problem for me. I can't help but spill out what's in my head when she's around. She's like some mutant using this unseen power over me."
"Oh, is that how they say 'I get butterflies in my stomach everytime I see her' nowadays? I think I'm getting older."
"Shut up"
Well he did shut his mouth for a moment to take another bite at his sandwich. I'm actually enticed by that sandwich. Offer me a bite you fool.
"Jake, I don't see any problem at all" Okay, he started out again.
"I can't hide anything from her" I said.
"I don't see any problem"
"I tell her exactly what's on my mind"
"I don't see any problem"
"I've told her I wanted to fuck her on the copying machine while it prints the outline of our bodies in sideways coitus"
"I...I...don't... see any problem at all"
"You twisted little shit"
I chugged the last remaining drops of my Pepsi can.
"Seriously Jake, there is nothing wrong with being honest okay? Or wait a minute, are you insecure with yourself?"
"NO?" I answered at an almost immediate rate.
Well, yeah a bit, douchebag. you don't have to point it out! I don't know, don't we all have something we are ashamed of? Wait. NO! Why am I agreeing with you? I'm not even in love with Amy!
"C'mon man, she's a healthy female with good fashion sense, a nice rack, and an ass that can serve cocktails. The ginger is a bonus. You, Jake Finley, on the other hand is a healthy male, educated, has a decent paying job and an unused working male organ, there is nothing to be insecure about! Man, you've got the looks, if I was gay, I would have definitely ravished you on the vending machine while drinking soda cowboy style"
"I'm going to pretend I did not hear that from you."
"Just being honest, man" He winked. He fucking winked at me.
Exactly. This is the problem. The truth is disgusting. It makes me uncomfortable like taking a long and hard dump. This is not what I need right now. What I need is to get this girl out of this office and out of my life. She's ruining my system and I hate it. Tomorrow. I shall. Do the unspeakable.
ns 172.69.59.43da2