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Short Story
Spiritual
Completed
It Will Be Painless
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Writer Ramen Noodles
Writer
  • G: General Audiences
  • PG: Parental Guidance Suggested
  • PG-13: Parents Strongly Cautioned
  • R: Restricted
PG-13
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743 Reads
2 Likes
1 Bookmarks
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It Will Be Painless
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#1
Ramen Noodles
Oct 3, 2015
1
2
172
52 Mins Read
Comments ( 2 )

Coen Wonder - I liked your opening where you started off by describing a death body. This has created a nice hook to the story.

I can see how Cory loved his sister through his memories/flashbacks of her. Ari is also a very interesting character who has an unique chemistry with Cory is capable of comforting him in his struggle of loss and pain.

The overall story plot is clear, but I think you can consider reworking some of the relatively long sentences, which I find it a bit hard to dissect and read sometimes:)


3 years agoreply

Ramen Noodles - Ah, thank you so much for reading Coen. I appreciate the comments. I will work hard to revise it.
3 years agoreply

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