She specifically requested no black.8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwxhQBhjHE 維尼
We always joked about the ways we wanted to go, the ways we wanted to be remembered, and the ways we wanted people to act at our final sendoff.8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡQHjCm68wcZ 維尼
Yet, I am the only yellow spot in a sea of black.8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡycpihJzRIz 維尼
I’ll try to make it brief because she always said I talked too much. I ranted and raved so much that it’s a wonder she ever got a word in. I remember how many of her thoughts I must have missed in trying to keep the silence from—8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUV3l41J2x 維尼
No. Enough.8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡZteZbk4dEy 維尼
There are at least yellow flowers surrounding a urn and a picture of her smiling face. She was quiet but the world paid attention when she smiled. Her mother is wearing green and her father is in a suit, always following some traditions, no matter the situation.8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcHXyTgWZc 維尼
They asked me to speak when I don’t ever want to talk again. I haven’t since they told me what happened. It’s been three weeks and I still don’t feel the slightest inclination to say anything that crosses my mind. Was that what it was like for her? When the world, me included, never stopped long enough for her to say a damn thing, did it feel like this? Did it feel like no one would shut up?8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡny6Qk7TXLj 維尼
I do understand, to some extent. I don’t want to, but I do. We both had the line of pills and therapists and psychiatrists and the scars that have never gone away. We were both broken long before we could do anything normal like fall in love.8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2z1VMrRdUi 維尼
“Are you okay?”8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2Psv819f4 維尼
“No.”8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYWSc5yQoc 維尼
“Will you be okay?”8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3OWENdru6 維尼
“I don’t know.”8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQ441tug1z 維尼
Those words were often switched up. They didn’t belong to me and they didn’t belong to her. We were opposites, operating like clockwork.8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLtq63UiaI 維尼
Shut up.8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyKdrv1jgh 維尼
“Dearly beloved—“8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3weeYu0aw6 維尼
Shut up.8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHLR3cVdY4 維尼
“She is at peace—“8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡryU5gQFCKw 維尼
Shut up.8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQGXLdEVBv 維尼
They keep going though. As I silently will silence, people are getting up and taking turns to talk about her. Even the class president steps up to the stand, even though I know she doesn’t know her or didn’t know her. I don’t know.8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡyp5o7pO8K6 維尼
It’s been surreal ever since she died.8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5YY3dcNiB 維尼
“She was a great friend—“8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgQQRdjkss 維尼
Shut up.8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡmO9g86gGd5 維尼
Yellow flowers, yellow dress, a black wave of everyone that wasn’t there for her before, Christ nailed to a cross reminding us of her Cardinal sin, her murder of the person most precious to me—8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyMftGHm6z 維尼
Shut up.8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡghp0k2gAyC 維尼
“SHUT UP!” I stand up and scream.8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsDB8ueblq 維尼
Everyone turns towards me and I know I can’t stay here. I won’t believe. I can’t believe in a God that would condemn her to Hell for just wanting a break from the pain that I didn’t know how to relieve. I stand outside the Cathedral. It's amazing that they even let her family hold the service there. Outside, a boy who loved her has a flask. 8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLVs8JNFpc 維尼
"I could hear you from out here."8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡMi1dVob4bv 維尼
I nod. Apparently words will continue to fail me.8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzrkZciRKN 維尼
“—CAN’T YOU JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN FOR A MOMENT?” Her voice on the other end of the line was hysterical. 8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUa7e3Brrk 維尼
“—Look—“8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvEgSE6NOc 維尼
She hung up on me and shoved enough pills down her throat to make it last.8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9CIaoVB4j 維尼
“I love you.”8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGhQpq6GDo 維尼
In everything I ever said, I never once said those three God damned words. I don’t think they would have made a difference but—8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrjRUFZxGs 維尼
Shut up.8964 copyright protection493ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vzvLs1m3J 維尼
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