Trevor142Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtmBCUpDb7
Fuck. I failed.
Was it not deep enough? Did I miss? What the fuck did I do wrong? I planned it so perfectly yet I fucked it up, just like everything else.
I didn’t plan to survive. I didn’t plan to wake up in the hospital with twelve stitches along my arm, my dad standing outside the door yelling at the doctor and occasionally into his phone. I should have accounted for all possibilities. One like, you may survive this Trevor.
Great. Now my dad had a reason other than my mom’s death to hate me. He had to take the day off from work to make sure his mentally unstable child was still breathing. Taking the day off from work was like skipping a week's worth of food. We needed the money. But now, money was going to be spent on hospital bills and how could he make that money if he wasn’t at work.
After school Friday was when he found me. Monday morning was when we left the hospital for home, the entire car ride silent.
I didn’t know if I felt relieved to be home, or just relieved to be out of the hospital. Either way, I couldn’t wait to get to my room.
“Trev…” The first words he’d spoken to me since the incident. “You’re going to have to sleep in the guest room. I put your clothes and everything you need in there.”
Oh. I get it.
Without further words, he headed towards his own room. I knew my father well. Any time anything happened that he couldn’t control, he would lock himself in his room and not come out until work the next day. This situation was no different. Perhaps he should have been looking out for me though. Making sure I didn’t try to succeed in my death for the second time.
On the guest bed was a familiar object. My phone. I needed to talk to Madison. I needed to let her know the truth before the entire school knew. However, my 73 unread messages told me that the news was already out. Everyone knew.
“Mady…” My voice hoarse as I spoke softly into the phone that was plastered against my cheek.
There was no emotion in her tone. “Trevor...don’t. Don’t even.”
I knew this would happen. There was no way that beautiful, brown haired girl could date a freak. It would ruin her own reputation. I knew from the beginning Madison didn’t like me for me. She liked me for my status and my looks. But it was the same old speech. No one ever loved me for me. Not even I could love myself. 142Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdZlH3VCO5