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Adoring December
Writer Emoddess
  • G: General Audiences
  • PG: Parental Guidance Suggested
  • PG-13: Parents Strongly Cautioned
  • R: Restricted
3344 Reads

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Adoring December
A - A - A
Intro 2 3 4 5 6 7
Chapter 1
Comments ( 7 )

Nocturne - Wow, that guy was such a prick! I wonder how they'll meet again...
11 months agoreply

Alef Magnus - This was simple but very grounded. The introduction of characters were smooth and the inciting incident was paced well. It's a great start. I hope the angry guy has more role later on in the story.

Edit: Oh he's probably going to be the "romance" aspect of this story?
2 years agoreply

Emoddess - Thank you! The guy does have a role in the story and I think that aspect would be a little too telling by now since he's already appeared in the next few chapters. I suppose we'll just have to see how the story unravels :)
2 years agoreply

Bluemoon Scriptor - Your description of the store is well constructed, including all the senses.  The protagonist reminds me of Clary from the imortal instruments series.  
Make sure to go over the grammar of the chapter- help the flow.  If you read over some of the longer sentences aloud it helps break them up or add punctuation. 
Overall a great start! 
2 years agoreply

Emoddess - @Bluemoon Scriptor, Ahh, thank you! :)
2 years agoreply

Coen Wonder - I like how you introduce the characters through a bad experience in the small music store, which created a hook to the story. Carry on! 
3 years agoreply

Emoddess - Thank you! :)
3 years agoreply