A slight pain was appearing in the area where her heart rested.
It hadn't hurt for a year now, it didn't made her reminisce about the beautiful, unreachable past anymore more, just to make her hurt and break again over the things she can't have anymore, but it was doing it now. Her heart was alive once again, it was throbbing once again, it was breaking once again.180Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNA3c1rqrz
I don't know why I feel the need to tell you this, suddenly. You already know much of it. But I need to tell this from my point of view. I need, no, I want you to know how I felt..., feel. Before it's too late.
I was convinced I had forgotten you. I was convinced I had moved on. But in reality, I am still stuck on you,. This, this, whatever this is, is the prove of that.
I loved you. You know that,
Her hand which held the paper with ragged edges was shaking, uncontrollably. She knew, she knew he did. She loved him too.
But I loved you before you ever knew. Before I ever knew.
Why I was suddenly looking for flaming red hair in the crowd, or a bright knitted scarf flying in the wind, or a high pitched laugh that would made my insides twist with happiness, I didn't know. It was as if I was moth, drawn to the light because it was in his nature.
There wasn't anything wrong with me. You wouldn't believe me now, I know that. You didn't before. But you should have seen it. I was a moth, I could only be drawn to the light, never the flower, or the grass. Everyone thought there was something wrong with me. Even my parents did, but they didn't understand that in the midst of birds, there was me.
I was drawn to you because you were the light, my light,
Tears were now making their way down her red cheeks. She took deep ragged breath, unable to continue. A small opened box, which previously held the letter, was lying near her legging-clad knee, under the lights of the huge Christmas tree her daddy had bought this year.
She needed to continue. Wiping her tears, and runny nose, she blinked several times to clear her vision.
I wanted to say a proper goodbye in case-
"Lily! Cocoa! Wake up! It's Christmas!"
Lily Everdeen set up instantly from the terrible dream she was having.
"Good you're up. There's lots of presents down there for you. Mom says if you don't wake up, I can have them."
Ella, Lily's 5 year old sister, had brilliant smile on her face and glimmer of childish hope in her eyes, as she broke the news to her sister. She was jumping up and down non-stop on the foot of Lily's bed, and talking without wasting a breath.
When Lily nodded, looking down and blinking rapidly to clear her eyes, she didn't notice. She just smiled, and hopped of the bed, running downstairs, while holding her elf hat with a small chubby hand.
"Mom she's coming!"
Here, Lily wiped the tears filled in the corners of her eyes. She had actually been crying, it wasn't just in the dream. And Lily didn't felt one bit good about it, because it had been too real, too lucid, and she could almost feel the weight of the note in her left hand, as she got of the bed.
Later, she found a paper cut on the index finger of her left hand, which she was sure she didn't have before.
---
Everyone was opening presents, but she was scared to even touch one.
What if in the pile of those presents, lay a small box with the note she never got the chance to finish reading.
"Come on Lil, why are you standing there?"
Her daddy beckoned her towards him. He was sitting on the floor in his dolphin Pajamas with Ella, opening presents, while her step-mother, Cassandra, huffed on the chair nearby.
"When are you gonna grow up Randy?"
She remembered when she used to be on the floor with him, and her mother used to be the one huffing. She would ask him the same question, but then join them on the floor after a minute, muttering.
But Cassandra didn't do that. She just set back in her high chair, sipping her coffee and giving him cold stares. So pushing her fear aside, Lily walked forward and set down beside him, feeling the need to cover for her mother in her absence.
Her daddy smiled up at her, and Lily remembered the way he used to smile at her mother. This smile was nothing like that, it didn't held the joy, the light, the glittering happiness in her eyes. It was a smile, yes, but it was not her daddy's smile.
She was the reason for that. Not her mother, she knew it.
---
She had opened each one of them.
Socks, knitted sweaters, a paint kit, chocolates but there was no red box, there was no letter.
Her heart which was beating a mile an hour, was now starting to calm down. It wasn't here. It was just a dream after all.
"Cocoa!", Ella jumped from behind the tree, yelling her nickname for her. She slipped on her socks but caught her at the last second. "There's one more. It's for you." And there was surely a small red box in her hand, which looked familiar enough that Lily closed her eyes, collecting herself, her strength for what was coming.
"I already opened it. I thought it was for me, there is a phone inside. It says it misses you."
Lily opened her eyes, immediately scrambling to her feet. She didn't know if she should be relieved yet.
Ella gave Lily the box first, but Lily snatched the phone eagerly from her sister, discarding the box.
She held the phone in her hand. It was an iPhone 6. She wanted it this Christmas didn't she, she had saved up all year to give it to herself, but ended giving all the money to an orphanage. It was pity , really that made her so generous, she could feel those children's pain, at least half of it. She knew how it felt like to celebrate without a mother. And with the father she didn't talk to anymore.
But only Nancy knew she was saving up for iPhone 6. Surely, it wasn't from Nancy, because Nancy lived couple blocks away from her. She looked down again at the message on the phone.
I'll always miss you. Goodbye.
It couldn't be her. She would have recognized the number.
"I'm going out!"
"Where?" Cassandra shouted back from the kitchen.
"I don't know. I might not be back tonight."
Cassandra laughed, "Sure."
She thought it was a joke, Lily Everdeen, not back at night. Impossible. Nobody wanted someone as dull and dry like her. It was like she was a dead corpse without any feelings.
But somebody far, far away, yet, not far enough, did.
"Ready or not, here I come." She muttered under her breath, as she walked into the freezing air outside.
---
Two knocks.
She waited, shivering.
Nobody answered.
Outside, the snow was falling, and the scene looked like a Christmas gift card compete with a bow.
She could almost see him. Laughing, telling her to memorize this while she can. To not forget. But every moment without him, she wanted to forget.
The door finally opened, revealing auburn hair girl in an over sized sweater.
Lily's hand was in the air in mid-knock. She lowered it to her side slowly, blinking herself back to reality.
"Why do you look like you've seen a zombie?" Nancy inquired, leaning her hip against the doorway and crossing her arm.
In answer, Lily only raised the phone.
Nancy's eyes widened, and she ushered Lily inside, hurriedly.
"When did you see him?", she asked her as she led her upstairs to her room.
"Yesterday, at Christmas Eve dinner."
"Where?"
"In a restaurant, I was out with Will." Nancy's steps were swift, she had a strong grip on Lily's arm, keeping her steady as she guided her towards to her room
"What did he say? Why didn't you tell me?" Lily's voice was becoming high-pitched and strained by the second. She was on the verge of crying. Nancy tugged her towards her bed and made her sit down.
She sat down, clutching her head in a strong grip, pulling at her hair.
"Stop it!" Lily's hand was pulled away roughly and held against the mattress. "He was asking about you." Nancy spoke while stroking Lily's back. "We talked for a while, then he left. He never asked to meet you or for phone number."
Lily looked at Nancy with haunted eyes, worry evident on her face. "Nancy, he's going to do something stupid. He's...I don't know..." She clutched her forehead, agitated, tense, crying. "I think he's going to kill himself."
Nancy didn't know if he was capable of that. But she knew that her friend knew Charlie better than he knew himself.
"When?"
"Tonight at 11:59, exactly one before midnight."
Lily wasn't sure about her suicide theory, but she was sure something huge was about to happen at midnight. The time when it all started.
---
The loud music, the flashing lights and the house filled with more bodies than the available space had Lily's head throbbing and breath coming in painful gasps. She had always been a little claustrophobic. But today, it was worse than normal.
It might have been because she was panicking. She was a little drunk, enough to make her stagger when she walked. She couldn't go home like that. Her mother would kill her and her blows would be lethal to her heart.
She could almost hear her mother torture her emotionally. "I thought I raised you better than that. It's not your fault, it's mine. I did something wrong. I must have failed somewhere."
She had to find Nancy. But where was this girl when you need her?
"Nancy! Nan-"
Somebody collided with her, throwing her to the floor. She could barely breath. Sweat was forming on her forehead from the lack of oxygen.
"Shit!" She cursed, knowing she was losing it.
Her head was spinning now, black spots appearing in her vision.
"Come," Then, suddenly a pair of hands were hauling her upwards. And when she swayed on her feet, a warm body provided her support. It couldn't be called strong, because it wasn't. And the hands, they didn't really felt like a guy's, and the voice wasn't husky, deep and masculine that is usually associated with a savior of some romance movie. But it was a savior, nevertheless, just not the picture-perfect one they describe in novels.
She was being led somewhere; swiftly. And before she knew it, she was out. She felt the air on her face before she saw it.
She opened her eyes slowly. They were in a small garden; there were red roses everywhere, the night was dark but a crescent moon was there to light it up a bit.
There was a bench in the far corner of the garden. She made a beeline for it, wanting to relax there, but was held back a little.
She looked behind her to see her savior. She had totally forgotten about him.
What she saw didn't make her heart beat, or her palm sweaty. Actually, she felt nothing.
She had never seen him before in her life. Ever. He was a head taller than her, but had a wiry frame, almost like a girl's. His hair were black and unkempt. They fell into his eyes and over his airs, making him look like a child. And his eyes were blue, reminding her of winter snow.
His lips were looked frosted with snow, frozen. That's when she realized that it was snowing.
She whipped her head from side to side, watching the snow fall around them.
Finally, having finished enjoying the beautiful scene that nature has created, she turned back to the stranger at hand.
"Who are you?" She was still a little drunk; she could think rationally, but not much.
"Charlie."
"Well, don't you have a last name Charlie?" She inquired, analyzing him. He was shy, that was for sure. He wasn't looking in her eyes, but at somewhere close to her nose.
"I do." He nodded his head once, then let got of her and stepped back a little as if to give himself breathing space.
Totally shy.
"And what's that?"
"Charlie Rose."
Lily burst out laughing. If she was sober, she might have taken Charlie's feelings in consideration. But drunk, she didn't care if she hurt him.
"When I was born, I looked a lot like a girl. Mom thought I might end up being intersexual or transexual or something. Although, looks doesn't count in it, really, but my mom is a paranoid one. She always thinks too much of the things far ahead, and well, always assumes the worst. That's why...well, I'm Charlie Rose now."
He explained, seeming embarrassed.
There was something in his eyes that made Lily's laugh vanish into thin air. She took his hand, squeezing it. He must have been teased about it a lot.
"Well, Charlie Rose, Thank you so much. You just saved my life." Then, she smiled up at him. "And...I love your name. It's unique and weird. And I like unique and weird." She tugged him by his hand, walking backwards towards the bench she had seen earlier. "Come, sit with me."
He followed her without a protest, and without a word.
They settled on the bench, an inch away from one another, and all this while he kept his eyes on her. She could them on her face the whole time but decided to keep quiet.
It was freezing out there. But there they both sat, in their own worlds, she, lost in her thoughts, he, transfixed by her. But, right then, their worlds collided, the boundaries inter-lapped with each other.
It was silence, the world was waiting for a new beginning and somebody was mustering up the courage to speak what he'd been wanting to since forever.
Then, abruptly, the spell of silence was broken.
Lily looked down at her watch. "One minute before New Year." She beamed up at him.
"I love you." And then his lips came crashing down on her and all she could think was that ' he isn't that shy'.
---
Lily had no idea where she was going, all she knew was that she was going to right some wrongs.
But where to find the wrongs that needed to be righted, she didn't know.
She had a few places in mind, but if she didn't find him there then she was sure she wouldn't find him in time.
The taxi driver was humming to the some tune on the radio. Lily didn't like it one bit. It was too festive for the current situation.
She decided to watch the passerby's, at least it was better view than the bobbing head of the driver.
"Stop! Stop!" She screamed half standing up from her seat. The taxi came to a screeching halt. But before it had fully stopped, Lily was out of the door and running across the busy road, unaware of the driver staring after, the people giving her judging looks or the cars honking for her to stay away from their path.
The world had dissolved around her, all of it except the Cafe her eyes were transfixed upon.
She had seen someone there, someone that made her heart lurch painfully, someone who looked a lot like him. She had to be sure, now. She couldn't leave without knowing.
Just when she reached the Cafe, a throng of people made their way out. She squeezed through them, feeling a little suffocated for a second, her claustrophobia kicking into action. But as soon as it started, it was over. She was through them and into the small shop.
The place smelled like coffee and cupcakes, so familiar, so homely.
She searched the place with her eyes.
There were singles, there were couples, there were coffees and cupcakes, and happy customers but not what she was looking for. Not him.
She walked to the entrance counter. The girl behind smiled at her.
Lily didn't recognize her but apparently, she did recognize Lily. "How you doing? Long time no see." She greeted, with twinkling eyes and sparkling smile.
'Every body is happy today,' Lily thought. "And here I am, trying to find the happiness I let go so long ago.'
"I'm okay." She replied after a second with a forced smile, then without hesitating she continued, " Did you see a guy here, just now? Black hair, tall, on the skinny side, blue eyes. He was wearing a brown hoodie, I think."
To Lily's surprise, the counter girl's eyes lighted up in recognition. "You mean, Charlie?"
"Yes!"
Lily felt like dancing.
"He just went out, when you came in. Didn't you see him?"
Her heart suddenly fell in the pit of her stomach. Without another word, she ran outside madly.
"Charlie!" She was running on the roadside, shouting as loud as she could. People were looking back at her but there was not Charlie Rose, there. "Charlie!" She saw a brown hoodie ahead, she pulled him but it wasn't Charlie. Just another guy who was dumb enough to go out wearing just a hoodie in the freezing weather. She couldn't run anymore, now. And she was sure he wasn't anywhere in the vicinity. If he was, he would have replied. He couldn't have resisted Lily's voice, no matter how mad he was with her, "Dammit, Charlie. Where are you?"
She slid down, right there, on the pavement outside the cafe, but it wasn't the first time.
---
The Cafe was filled. There were after-school students everywhere, hands around their coffees and noses buried in their homeworks.
The place was warm, the same feeling was radiating from Lily's heart, as she sat across Charlie, listening intently as he talked. His eyes crinkled around the edges, as he unfolded a chapter of his life to his girlfriend, the girl he had always admired from a distance.
Sitting there, across from her, Lily could not only feel, she could see that he felt like the happiest man alive. That's how much he loved her. And she felt like the luckiest girl too, after all that kind of love was extremely rare.
Just then the bell on the door jingled and a group of laughing guys walked in. Their eyes were trained on the happy couple in their bubble of perfectness, oblivious of their approach.
"Dude! Look who it is. Charlie Rose." It was a blonde spiked-haired guy, tall and well built in frame, who had spoken. His gang around him burst into laughing. They hadn't even started speaking and the people were already looking.
Lily glared up at them. Charlie only avoided Lily's eyes.
"Aren't you gonna say anything, Cupcake?" He leaned forward, teasing, mocking.
Charlie only averted his gaze, as well as his head in the other direction, not defending himself.
When he didn't get an answer from Charlie, he rounded on his next victim, Lily.
"Miss...?"
"Everdeen." Lily's posture was stiff, her tone fierce. She was ready to fight for her boyfriend.
"Well, Miss Everdeen. How come you end up dating him?" He glared at Charlie, disgustingly.
"Why, what's wrong with him?" Lily replied coolly.
The jocks around him burst into fits of laughter. Lily only narrowed her eyes, not understanding what was so funny. At this point, the whole Cafe was listening intently.
"He's gay."
Charlie stood up, abruptly, his cup of coffee falling in the process, and stormed out.
"Liar!", shouted Lily before running out after him.
That's when a car collided with another, and between them a body was crushed, it looked familiar.
"NOOO!" The shriek that came out of Lily's mouth was ear-splitting. Her knees gave out from under her, all her energy drained. She felt like she was the one being crushed.
"Lily?"
She whipped around. "Charlie!" she stood up and hugged him as if hanging on for dear life. "Oh, Charlie."
He hugged her back, patting her soothingly. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"
"I thought...I...," She gulped painfully, "I thought for a second that my life would be taken away from me."
---
She blinked away the snow from her lashes.
She was standing outside his apartment building, thinking.
How on earth did she ever let go of her life that easily?
She remembered all those times she had been here. All the good ones and the bad ones. But there was no use remembering now, unless she find him.
She looked at her watch. She was running out of time, she had wasted a lot of time in the cafe. And then some time getting to his apartment. It was a good 45 minutes away from her home, and with the traffic it took somewhat close to an other.
Taking a deep breath, she entered the building, heading for his apartment.
She said a silent prayer to the heavens above before she knocked.
It was Christmas for goodness's sake, where was the Christmas miracle she were waiting for?
A beat passed.
"Oh Lily!" Jacob looked delighted to see his old friend Lily.
"Hi!" Lily smiled weakly, glancing back at the door which still remained unopened before turning to the neighboring open one.
Jacob walked forward from his doorway and hugged her tightly. "Where you've been? I missed you."
"Uh...you know..." She started awkwardly, "I was just..." But she didn't know what to say.
Sensing the awkwardness Jacob continued gravely. "I heard about the breakup."
Lily looked down at her feet, ashamed and hurting. She couldn't look up and meet Jacob's eyes, she just couldn't. His words were ringing in her ear,
"Thank God, you're different. I don't know what Charlie would have done if you weren't. You accepted him like no one ever did." He was saying as they stood in the empty kitchen one evening, waiting for Charlie to come back. Charlie was on the phone with someone, his mom probably by the amount of curses and annoyed remarks she was hearing. It wasn't a happy conversation, but then Charlie's relationship with his parents weren't a happy one either.
"You never cared about his outside looks, or the stupid rumors." Jacob continued, grasping her shoulders, his eyes filled with gratitude and respect for her. "He's a lucky jerk, fell in love for the first time and got that love reciprocated like that! Damn him"
Right then, Lily thought that she wasn't different. She was just like the judging society that would believe any rumor and make people's life hell for how they looked. She felt rotten, evil, she felt like she had done the biggest sin ever, hurting someone, judging someone over something they had no control over.
"He was a mess after it, still is."
She regretted it, from the depth of her heart.
Pointing to the still unopened door, she asked, " He doesn't live here, does he?"
She knew what was coming, but she just had to be sure.
"No," Jacob's black hair fell in his eyes when he shook his head, just like Charlie's always were, but, unlike Charlie, pushed them away.
"Do you-"
"Know where he is?" Jacob asked with a sorry smile, "I'm afraid not."
Just as she was about to turn back, defeated, he spoke from behind her. "Walk around, you'll find him someplace familiar. That's all he does mostly, visit the places that holds haunting memories of his past."
And so it began. Now it was a race, a race against time. She had too many places in mind but too little time.
---
The sun was setting now, the sky was darkening gradually, the traffic was increasing. Soon, what normally took 10 minutes to drive to became 20, and then 45.
The restaurants, hotels, parks, streets, everywhere was filled with people celebrating Christmas with their families. Those who didn't celebrate were out there to enjoy the decorations and the merry spirit in the air.
And in the midst of it all, a girl ran around the city, alone and lonely, carrying the weight of her cold heart in the cold night.
Lily looked at all the places he could be.
The ice-cream shop they used to go to, the restaurant he took her out to for the first time, amusement park they once went on Christmas, his friends' houses and all other places she could think of.
She saved the park they used to take long walks in, for last.
When she reached there, her eyes swept across the area. It was empty, not a soul in sight.
Lily could see her breath in the dark, coming out in puffs of smoke. She missed his warmth.
Slowly, she walked towards the bench they used to sit on. She wasn't surprised to find it empty.
She walked forward and sat on it, unaware of her actions. She felt oddly detached from the reality. Her mind was somewhere else, with Charlie, worrying over him.
'Where are you, Charlie?'
'What are you planning?'
'Please don't do anything stupid. Pl-please, please let me be wrong about everything.' She pleaded looking at the sky. A single tear made it's way down her cheek, but she made no attempt to wipe it away. She didn't know if her prayers would be granted, she didn't know if anybody was listening, yet she pleaded and prayed like she had ever before.
A car horn blared in the distance, dogs barked, and the noise of a large crowd was present in the background. She stood up, determined once more.
There was one last place she had left, it fit perfectly that he would be there, the place where it ended , at the same time when it started, 11:59 p.m.
---
It was another New Year's party, but this time it was at school. And there they were, Lily and Charlie on the dance floor, moving with the rhythm of music.
There school always held a New Year's party with a winter theme. There were small ice sculptures everywhere, girls were huddled under the mistletoe and various couples were having the time of their lives.
Lily felt like she was in Yule Ball at Hogwarts, judging by the decorations and the gowns. But just like Harry in that ball, Lily wasn't content. She had a turmoil going inside her head.
She stopped dancing suddenly, her hand on her partner's wrist,"Charlie, we need to talk." She tugged a confused Charlie to a corner. While she was sorting her thoughts, trying to come up with what she was going to say, she saw Charlie looking up with a gleam in his eyes. Her eyes travelled up their own accord, seeking what Charlie was looking at. Mistletoe, they were standing under mistletoe. And before she could process what was going to happen, Charlie had clamped her mouth with his, giving her a slow kiss.
Several emotions erupted inside her, but there was one dominating all others; guilt.
But she had to do it.
She was tired of not being able to go out without someone there to tease. She was tired of people making fun of her. She was tired of being told that there was something wrong with her man. She was tired, and exhausted, and just done, and she didn't want to be the good guy anymore, she wanted to be selfish, she wanted normal for once.
A tear slid down her cheek, and then several more followed, yet she let Charlie have a parting kiss. She kissed him like she had never before, conveying all her feelings with that one kiss.
She thanked him for everything, she asked for forgiveness, she told him she was done, and Charlie heard her. Because soon, he was pulling back, staring at her with pain in his eyes.
"Why're you cr-"
"Sorry, Charlie but we're over."
And then, she pulled a Cinderella and ran away.
Because it was one minute before midnight, and at midnight her spell would break and everything will fall apart. And before it does, she'll have to get away from him.
---
She stood there, in the same corner, under the mistletoe, feeling like she had stepped back in time.
It was decorated exactly the same way, right to the very last details.
She looked up at the mistletoe, down at her dress. What would she not give to stand there in her pale blue dress again with Charlie, and kiss him, and this time not let him go. What would she not give to someone to recast the spell that broke that night.
Everything did fell apart that night.
Before she could reach back home, she had gotten a call from home, telling her about her mother's death due to sudden heart attack.
And at home, her mother's lifeless corpse was the only things there to welcome her back home, with her father being away and her younger sister with him.
There wasn't anyone to piece the world back together with her except some strangers. It was shattered beyond repair. Or that's what she thought, as she shrieked and wailed into the night, asking the sky's what sin she had done to deserve this.
Lily wiped away her tears, scanning the dancing seniors, standing still at her corner.
There was some part that could be repaired, she just had to find Charlie before she lose him again, and she would have half of what she lost, back and together, they would make the other half to complete their world.
But as midnight loomed closer, and there was still no sign of Charlie anywhere, she started losing the little hope she had gathered.
Then half an hour before midnight, she decided to walk around the place.
Twenty minutes before midnight, she decided to ask around.
Fifteen minutes before midnight, and she was desperately running around the place.
Ten minutes before midnight, and she was standing under the mistletoe in her corner again, with a bleeding heart.
She decided to give up.
Walking away was one of the hardest thing she had to do, yet she did it. She left her old school grounds, and stared making her way back home. It wasn't far away. But she felt like it was hours, every step she took was heavier than the previous one, it was difficult to breath, to think by the second.
She would forget, she told herself.
Didn't they say time heal everything. Didn't they say love can happen more than once. Didn't they say good things never last. But didn't they say, that if you love somethings let it go, and if its meant to be yours it'll come back.
'Charlie was meant to be mine', she thought.
A violent sob escaped her, it rang in the silent night. She rounded the corner, her house in the line of her sight. Her steps became slower, sluggish. Fallen snow crunched beneath her boots, sounding like something breaking and Lily felt like it was her heart.
"Charlie was meant to be mine." She whispered to the snow, the winter, the night, to December, to herself.
She blinked, willing the last of tears to fall away. "Charlie was meant to be mine." She whispered again, this time believing it.
A dark shadow stood somewhere close by, in front of her, just out of the range of the street lights.
Her steps became rapid, so did her heartbeat. "Charlie was meant to be mine." She stated firmly to herself.
In front of her, the shadow began to turn and walk away.
'No!', her mind shouted. 'Not this time.' And she broke into a run, while shouting, "CHARLIE ROSE! YOU'RE MEANT TO BE MINE. I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE NAME'S WEIRD."
"YEAH, 'CAUSE YOU LIKE WEIRD." The shadow shouted back in a rough voice that broke at the end.
"EXACTLY. AND DON'T INTERRUPT ME!" She shouted, coming to a halt a few feet before the shadow. There was a street light between them, casting a circle of light on the ground. She stood inches away from it, while he stood feet away in the shadows on the other side.
"AND I DON'T CARE IF THERE ARE A THOUSANDS RUMORS CIRCULATING ABOUT YOUR MANLINESS."
"YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT, I CAN HEAR YOU." , came the reply from the shadows.
"YOU'RE SHOUTING.", she stated pointedly.
"OH YEAH." And with the reply came a weak laugh, that made her heart swell and her knees shake.
"I don't care if we can't ever go out without people ever teasing us." She took a step closer, standing directly under the light.
"And I don't care if you like a skinny nerd-y jerk." He was stalking closer now, slow as ever. And Lily stood there, dying for him to just cover the distance between them.
"I don't care how much you love me, and how much I love you." He halted abruptly. She could see his outline now, hands in his pocket, head tilted to one side.
"If you ever, and I repeat, EVER," her voice was increasing fractionally as she stalked forward towards him, "try to kill yourself again and leave me with a note explaining why, I'll strangle you with my bare hands."
She cupped his cheek violently, and kissed him. It lasted for hours, or maybe it was minutes, it could've been some seconds but Lily didn't know. She was so happy, and so complete, she couldn't let herself cry tears of happiness.
She pulled back, gazing at him. He was exactly like she remembered. Those chapped ice-cold lips, those wintry blue eyes, those hair and him.
"You followed me?" It was more of a statement then a question.
"That night. Yeah, I had to see you home." Charlie stroked her cheek affectionately. "I left as soon as you were inside, later I heard about you're mom, I was- I wish I had stayed."
Lily shook her head, stopping him. "Not your fault."
"Hey, How the heck did you know about the note?" Charlie asked, tugging Lily by her wrists. She knew he was trying to change the subject, and inwardly thanked him for it.
The distraught from her eyes evaporated, and it was replaced with amusement.
She could've told him about the dream she had, and he could've laughed. Or she could've make something up but she decided to go with the vague answer.
"Now that," She tugged him by his hand, just like he had done so long ago, "is a very good question."
She led him towards the pavement, and together they set on it. Charlie looked at her expectantly, but she only smiled.
Somethings were best not talked about. This was one of it. Maybe someday she'll tell it to her grandchildren or maybe Charlie too, but right now, she was going to have fun.
"You remember what I always say," She asked as if asking a child. Charlie, playing his role quite successfully, shook his head. "Well, I can't believe you forgot but let me remind you. Lily Everdeen," She pointed at herself. "Knows everything."
"Yeah, right."
"Yes."
And so they had just started talking, when suddenly Lily shrieked.
"What's wrong? What's wrong?" Charlie had stood up, looking everywhere, trying to spot trouble at Lily's sudden scream.
"What's the time." She shrieked madly.
Charlie pulled out his phone. "11:59 p.m"
"Give it to me." She snatched it out of his grasp before he could so much as open his mouth to reply.
Charlie watched him as she stood there, with the phone to her hair, her teeth between her lips. "Dad?", she asked. There was some reply on the other side. "Merry Christmas." Charlie watched as her whole body sagged as if relieved. She talked to her father for a while then, sitting there on the pavement again, hand in hand with Charlie and everything was alright once again.
It started at 11:59 pm and ended at 11:59 pm. It felt like only a day had passed. It was like the in-between had never happened. It was like this night came right after they had first kissed. And Lily realized that when she was going to tell her story to her grandchildren, that's how it's gonna happen. Without those two years long in-betweens separating that night, and this.
The End
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