'All lives End'
' All hearts are broken'
'Caring is not an advantage' - S.H
--
This is what Ben remembers.
She's laying on something cold, whatever she's wearing isn't providing much heat. There's a burning sensation under her skin..she cant breathe. There's something rough covering her neck.
Everything smells like cigarettes. Her head feels like it's on fire, her vision's cloudy, she can't move. Everything's fading out of focus, the sirens, the flashing colors red and blue.
A shout. A crack, her head jerks to the side as something warm splatters across her face. There's a weird taste in her mouth now, as whatever's restraining her lets go. Drowning air into her lungs, her knees crash against something hard, and when she pours everything out, it's with a scream that wont stop.
This is what Ben doesn't remember:
Everything else.
--
Tonight, it rains.
This is not a harsh torrential sort of rain, nor is it a soft drizzle made to enjoy. It is raining steadily, miserably, not encouraging people to leave the streets or go out onto them. Most nights in this heady city are clear, stars just barely peeking out from underneath the blanket of light and smog and atmosphere that drifts up from the city. Most nights are cool nights when you can take your time getting home, nights that allow you to hesitate just the slightest few seconds before going into the safety of your own home. Most nights are perfect.
But tonight, it rains.
And tonight, Ben looks for answers.
She's been at it for hours, looking again through the ancient diary that is suppose to have everything she's asking for.
Nawing on her bottom lip, she realizes that the leather under her fingertips has already been indented with the engraving of her nails, as she turns another page.
When she finally hears Frankie wake up and get out of bed, it's not morning, not really. It's more like late night, a darker night?
Ben doesn't know, she has a tendency to lose track of time whenever she's working, and by the look plastered on Frankie's face as she walks out of her bedroom door, a mixture of: sadness, resignation and irritation- whatever time it is, it's not anywhere near the appropriate time to be awake.
"Fucking psycho" she hears her mutter, before letting out a yawn and Ben could practically feel Frankie drink in the cluttering mess that is Bentley Fitz. Lays chip crumbs scattered under her bag of pretzels, discarded mugs laying on their sides as they attempted drip out the few remnants of what was previously inside.
It was chaotic.
Instantly feeling uncomfortable, Ben attempts to wipe off the Cheeto bits that were probably still on her face.
"Your unbelievable" her roommate starts out by saying.
"And I cant believe your still drinking liquor as a substitute for coffee-it wont help you stay awake you know?" she continues in a tetchy voice, as she takes notice of the large bottle of champagne relaxing in the college students hand, and Ben could hear her head turn as she looks out the window, ears getting distracted by the tap-tap-tap of the rain.
Ben ignores her of course, and takes another drown of alcohol out of her virtually empty cup before taking the champagne bottle and filling the demitasse up again to the rim, its fizzes before settling.
Sighing, she takes another swing, because the thing her best friend doesn't know is that she's drinking alcohol because she is unable to sleep, not the other way around.
Or maybe it is, maybe she's just in denial.
Fucking great.
"What are you reading?" Frankie ask, and Ben flinches as she hears the fibers of her socks rub against the floor as Frankie avoids the wooden island and moves towards her, leaning over Ben's shoulder to take a peak at the scribbled writing, Ben tries to hide it with her arm, but it's too late.
"Aether?" Squinting her eyes at the scribbles on the page, Ben realized that her arm failed to block out the most vital thing she didn't want Frankie to see.
Shit
"Why the hell are you looking into Aether?" The words come out of Frankie's mouth sharp and accusing and Ben pretends that she cant hear it, as she removes her arm from the hardback and puts a star next to another possible suspect.
There's a strange feeling settling in her stomach now, a little like excitement, a little like fear, and another feeling she cant decipher: she doubts that its really a emotion.
"Why are you crossing out names?" Frankie asks instead after Ben didn't answer her first inquiry.
"Another John Doe of yours?" Frankie taunts, lips brushing against her ear, a hand resting on her shoulder, a sly attempt of trying to get a rise out of her.
And Ben recoils at that, at the venom laced into Frankie's voice, she's disappointed she knows that, and she knows about her deep hate for the multinational company that secretly ruins lives.
But that doesn't mean that she has the right to act like a self righteous bitch. Pushing away from the desk, Ben quickly shoves Frankie's hand off her shoulder, and Frankie backs away, hands held up in a mocked way of saying 'I surrender'.
"Oh don't look so pissed Ben, melodramatic doesn't look good on you."
Ignoring Frankie's remark, Ben went back to highlighting and starring names, but she could still feel Frankie's gaze on her neck and it's pissing her off. Rolling her shoulders back, she grits her teeth.
"It belonged to my dad" She starts out, answering Frankie's previous question.
"One of the nuns, slipped it into my hand before I left the orphanage, something about it being the only uncharred thing from the fire."
Silence blankets over them for a while, and Ben could hear the skin on Frankie's knuckles rub against her palm as she clenches her hand into a fist, before Frankie says "And your just now looking into it-- two years later?"
As a sigh breaks through Ben's lips, she looks into another poorly written name- James Bosh Manager of Chemical Lab, floor B, $240,908.
"Well that's because now I have a reason, you know with the circumstances changing and all" She continues, putting a question mark next to the dollar signs. Did her father owe people money? Is that what this is for? A book of debts needing to be paid? Is that why he died?
The kitchen lights turn on and she hears the refrigerator door being held open as Frankie replies.
"Are you really going to call you running around the streets of Souk City in a raggedy ass costume 'changing of circumstances.' "
The words were suppose to come off as playful but Ben could hear the damage meaning to be inflicted behind it.
"Yes" She states, and closes the book, she had enough for tonight, she'll get back to basis tomorrow
"Going back out again?" The question was rhetorical and reaches her ears just as she opens the closet door and takes out her weather-beaten duffle bag.
Awkwardly, she strips out of her clothes and into her poor excuse of a suit. Examining it, Ben realized that Frankie was right, it really was raggedy.
"Don't forget that my cousin is coming over to visit in two days" Frankie yells. Just as Ben opens their porch screen door.
And Ben gives her a thumbs up before jumping over the ledge, into the darkness; ignoring the way the rain truly starts to seep into her bones. 249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5iJg60N3X
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A/N: I'm sorry if this story has plot holes or isn't up to expectation, I'm really trying to get better. I've just been itching to write this, it's been just sitting there in my 'Works' forever. 249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvwtG49si2c
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