《赤足的庭院》（2）109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7IFuSahfFK
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UCmuk0L5g
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003109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQE7fCUHqa
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDfZgTfkSq
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDl4dEsexFF
我對故鄉的印象僅僅是印象。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IObu7WXHY
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70K1RSzvrw
因為那裡的事物並不是被人實務性的記憶下來，而是作為更不完全的東西，留在心底的某些角落。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiGKo1kJsj
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgGpll2D4J
我記得潮水的味道和海浪等聲音，沙子的觸感，樹梢下刮起的微風，夜晚時絕對黑暗的地面，和成為那個時間裡唯一存在事物的星和月。魚腥味、油輪的廢氣、風雨來的時候，所感到的恐懼。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6ZtfjZggB
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUZONp78Wt
我的故鄉作為一個印象，我記錄在腦中，知道自己總有一天會以某個型式的遠離它。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREseBqMwpe
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbW212y7SgD
但那不是指現在。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZjIVkVkra
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwElGPbBmy5
就算獨自一人逃到台北，看過了城市鮮豔的夜色，耳裡塞滿城市的吐和吸，我還是知道，自己並沒有真正的遠離故鄉。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38ndWVwSYx
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUvIh4i8E5
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbrwKPx0Fn
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ854WnyL546
「嗯⋯⋯可以問你的名字嗎？」小舫姐說她昨晚沒能睡著。在平常的那張餐桌上，她癱軟的用雙手撐著臉。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLnUsEZEcd
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dSo2T7XQ3
我一邊解釋著自己的事，一邊看著她疲累的試著聽進我所說的。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRllZjn6c6
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6CLtknIVk
看她渴望睡眠的樣子，我感到有些內疚。她睡不好大概就是因為我。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvJSskkH4K
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGoAFvZ67y
昨晚，小舫姐讓我暫時待在她家借住一晚。公寓的房間很小，只有一張床鋪。我原本堅持要睡地板，不過被她拒絕了：「落到這副德性的人少跟我客氣。」。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9z7N75qj5v
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyesiwXMIJ9
多了一個人在床上，一定很不習慣。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXYTp8Avvq
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4g0X5YEl9d
但是昨晚，還好我實在是筋疲力盡，不然大概會整夜無法入睡。年紀的問題。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGDywUyzWQ
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhohK1gvpm5
「李靜。」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVb1CA8FUg
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzShHAipmk2
「噢，好娘。李靖或是李欽不是更適合男孩子嗎？」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvSDSJk739
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoxXd5kqnw
「⋯⋯」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygSzAoKJ1C
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrB8LaUecMg
「不過還好。要是是李靖或是李欽的話，昨天晚上我大概就危險嘍。」我說。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKiJPSPnPN
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRx4nldpvba
「哈⋯⋯」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFFot31RfT
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNUno7JeVX
當然，昨晚的我本來就沒有對他抱著任何期待。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLcbkCmFbA
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWvgaSMBYY
只是回想起來，那確實是很荒謬的決定。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNkvxlBbLr
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36KTM0k3RP
「一個23歲的女人，讓16的陌生少年上了自己的床鋪。」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2xUQluirN
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1yDpMVN9k
寫成文字或是作為台詞被唸出來，大概都不會影響它的離譜。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvbMwepXvc
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXte2lwtvx3
「那麼，李靜。你打算就這麼住下來嗎？」她問，十分嚴肅的。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrG8EJDXCfC
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivYPWv7Ou2
我搖搖頭。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1C4Ketlwnp
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3q8xTO3pC
「靠著你偷出來的錢，青年旅館還能住多久呢？要是在那之前，你依然不想回到自己的故鄉，你打算怎麼辦？」還不想，的話。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6O55TxkoLM
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJkS9Lx0Y0
面前的少年低著頭，一語不發。我大概知道他在思考著什麼。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKEt13quGf
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0m5bfliRzJ
「我遲早會遠離我的故鄉⋯⋯」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEnV9hlvqi
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1IUTen43A
「但不是由這個方式。對吧？」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVC6rJLsuIm
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAl7ECuhh9
「是的，所以⋯⋯」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UFjXmWFYG
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyX67yhPFwb
「怎麼辦呢？」這次不是為了捉弄人，她露出溫柔的微笑。「在錢花完之前，你得思考噢。來到這個混亂的場所，你能得到什麼？或是追求什麼。」她說。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebYmwqC2ii
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEFrMWGU5m
「小舫姐，妳常常離家嗎？」他突然一臉佩服的看著我。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxxxe9Gd72
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBq5MZekQBe
「這是什麼蠢問題？」啊，說錯話了。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqAZW1KfMJH
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyb1z1hu0Q
「嗯⋯⋯不是，總感覺妳很熟練的樣子。」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmP8ME21qko
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZz5Y2lfEE2
「怎麼可能。」她說。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6SflW21MM
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdotFZZzFe
然而這是事實。16歲之前，我離家過無數次，每次都是無功而返，只帶回挫折跟疲勞的身體。然後，到了他的這個年紀，我幾乎像是投降了一樣。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQgSeLWSxj
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsC01WfR0dF
好好的準備了考試，盡了全力去考大學。畢業之後也找到了穩定的工作。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBEqacF5o1
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yu8CGUWUf
這7年來的生活十分穩定。而且那是不容置疑的正確。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1uyVS8Bda
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrs9iHk7ir
直到他出現的那天。我再次質疑起自己作的決定。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYqpi0PeQV
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCMde8jFBA
長時間離開過我的這份自我懷疑又找上門來，然而我絲毫不比之前的自己成熟或是冷靜。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaWPfmFPh8
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsYzep70Q3
但是看著他，我總有一種感覺。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcUyLSMeYl
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5NXeT5I9K
「大概沒問題的。我想⋯⋯。」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XDQtcGpEP
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvZLxUBtmv
沒有理由的，我這麼相信著。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjP6MOgivH
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvukliRrzK9
因為，注視著她時，海嘯和風的呼嘯聲就會從腦袋中消失。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70oW5xj36U
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8XtqZwLId
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004109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OccBbumoh
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109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzSSDcyG0f
「阿靜，你是獨生子嗎？」最近每到中午，她都會走到我身邊，把我從樓下的那個陰暗的角落，帶到樓上的用餐區。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpefcC0My4
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnQuoPBYTM
「是啊。」我吃著員工餐，回應的問題。到台北之後，這是我第一次吃到泡麵以外的熱食。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUl8OB1LJh
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmlnNOVwCy
「好吃嗎？」她用頭指了指我的盤子。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLwf4Dj9be
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBUtLEqwR7
「嗯，非常美味。」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsGD2oeHFs
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqmMbIChbX
「那就好。」她又塞了一口飯到口中。「你看這個。」她拿出手機。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTDMwVITAz
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCnY2lv69j
滑開桌面，她打開某個定期回報全球衛星雲圖的程式。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3K0mxXg48
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3TNokEzYm
不知道為什麽，程式剛打開所指定的地方是新幾內亞，但是她好像不太在意。說實在話，我也不太在意，我滿腦子在想桌面照片是哪個作家的書。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5hL5UTjyZ
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNI7hCwDWGK
然後她讓我看了台灣附近。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5nCtryrT6
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIGB9gti1h
「一次來兩個颱風噢，很要命對吧？」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9cgv4EZmZ
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhQlxlUlBe
「嗯⋯⋯。」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCV757J2EiY
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9y3iopQVa
「可是啊，你看這個。預測路線說，它們會剛剛好⋯⋯像這樣，一個往上、一個往下，躲開台灣噢。」她用手指畫出線條，語氣雀躍的說。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs40NN7nA8p
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4v6Z0ubHao
「真的是這樣就太好了。」他皺著眉頭說。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZFH02nCRs
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32IZd5jrmc
肯定沒事的。看到她笑著這麼說，我的心不知為什麼就這麼安心下來了。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRhnjHaxLt
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Zw123eO4N
我從二樓的圍欄往一樓看，看到不少人離開座位，或是把書本丟在一旁，往樓上來。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WR33ZBRxR
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScbpsqjO8O
離席的人一個個往同一個方向去，每個人離開前的習慣和走路的姿勢、服裝的外型，從腳的移動到眼神，每個人都有所不同，卻做著一樣的事。我很喜歡這幅光景。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYLdCKvvA5
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IVs47EjD4
「阿靜，獨生子是什麼樣的感覺啊？」我的注意回到她身上。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkdm6F6Heb
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTe7uo4Oak
「什麼？」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DjyMqzkd3
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她又問了一次。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNY464ftTzT
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZoUdZPr8R
「啊⋯⋯獨生子啊，不知道，小舫姐不是獨生女嗎？感覺很像啊。」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMX4R8qeme6
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0t0AJDSe93
「什麼意思？」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUAFrdMUjoR
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5MD2JtRA8
「對那種需要一個人鑽研的事物比較感興趣。」孤僻的怪人。我從來沒看見她和其他圖書館員熱絡的交談過，說不定，她在這唯一的朋友就是我了。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmfGj4gx3x
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYzHavdLZX
「噢，這樣啊⋯⋯還有呢？」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXqVpPVJJW
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjK6GaVcAQk
「感覺很有自己的想法。」不顧別人的感受。從來不看場合的捉弄人，不管話題或是氣氛，只要她覺得好玩就好。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEGfsGCplv
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4t1yGf2XB
「這樣啊，可是我不是噢。」她笑著說。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKDezQNFE9
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnoGtQXiJVB
「是嗎？」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJm2JbKatR
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpglsYbieoh
「嗯，我有一個弟弟⋯⋯長得跟你很像噢。」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46otfNRPru
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzE9a7X0Ds3
她這麽的同時，皺起眉頭，仔細的觀察的我的五官。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡochakPbNrz
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果然很像。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8SciSRG8i
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iQgwm8MLQ
午餐時間結束，他作為暫時的圖書館員，整理書架時的那副神情，和弟弟替我收拾行李時的表情一模一樣。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtDf5RcGAX
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQ4yeoma5U
那是我第四次的離家出走。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgc7XXdQf2w
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0kuHOdZ0i
準備離開家門前，剛升國中的弟弟，突然擅自打開我的行李箱。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKwC5RbfId
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76Z8B0Idu9
我害怕會錯過父母不在家的時間，對他斥責了幾句。但是他很冷靜，說要替我檢查。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJNgmiZW05
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUkrllfOWW
「少了牙膏和食物⋯⋯啊，火車上要看的書呢？姊，妳沒有書活得下去啊？」這時的我，為了大學的志願在鬧家庭革命。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWN80ZbXHd0
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7OhFseRaR
我喜歡文學。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9NPmdDZqF
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmPad6ESIw
那個時候，驅動我一切不成熟和自私的動力，都來自這麼一個模糊而膚淺的理由。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKBY4Gs6e5
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VVEBB3YMF
因為這個尚未成形的夢想⋯⋯那個時候，更適合的詞可能是妄想。因為它，我把自己的容身之處給否定了。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMuBasnwjvV
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXmRM6SXq2
「 我無法待在那個否定我一切的地方。」我那個時候是這麼告訴弟弟的。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4IrvIjNqy
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQWyjrCOGZ
我看著他替我收拾書本和盥洗用具後，他堅持要送我到車站。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhiM9I0pkE
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSglFCKbgLE
於是我在車站冷冰冰的塑膠椅上，用極為平淡的語氣對還是國中生的他說。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvOdhUvyqP
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFAY5rQ3gC
「嗯⋯⋯從妳的角度來看，待在家裡確實是很痛苦吧。」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5IQowfWr8
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCTQwWKHPG
我沒有說話，於是他繼續說。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYupMQMt8sW
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXV9QxSzgWY
「我希望妳能快樂。當然，我也希望爸爸媽媽快樂⋯⋯嗯⋯⋯怎麼辦呢？」他笑著對我說。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTu6bBOZJn
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkjAhlRG60
那時的我沒有意識到，他的笑之後有著多麼巨大的重量。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0o9wJ8g0Wj
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgviUz2jF5
也許因為我，他時時刻刻對自己的存在感到矛盾。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEujKDCymwK
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYftORYtRnO
但我被自己的夢想遮住了耳，沒能聽出他的求救。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnc173XprkI
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSiHJijScHn
「謝嘍。」搔搔他的頭，我抱住他瘦小的身軀。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwS2Ey1yDDN
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz1S9gl8xXC
「姊⋯⋯早點回來噢。不要餓到肚子。」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCt6qiBoXc
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAg4y8JlnMs
「嗯，你也是。」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknZ42iZaqK
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMbPp0UBki
我記得，那個冬天，台北第一次下了雪。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rMxFX1wpZ
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBek8lJ2G8
雖然是很少、很細的冰線，但那確實，是貨真價實的雪。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFRKJ5vWu4
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05mCqt3h5h
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡes9yB3lNct
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvh7DKwZPPV
「小舫姐⋯⋯這個算是小說學術類還是偉人自傳啊？」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8ZnBeR2kw
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbtsUOynCG
「嗯？我看看噢。」
Penana
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