That which discovers itself by peering into mirrors is lost. I find myself looking at me quite often. Always staring maybe wondering at what truly goes on deep within the subconscious. or maybe trying to discover a secret truth only found in the seeing of the movements of my body and the reactions to the seeing of the movements of my body. I read a story or rather a warning someone wrote today about how when looking at yourself directly in the mirror, right into the depths of your own soul, your face becomes twisted up to a point beyond recognition. And that really shook me. Not at first but later on when I came face to face with a mirror and tried it- only for a split second- but even that split second made me want to blow chunks. theres is nothing in an endless loop. i cannot bite my own teeth, i cannot kiss my own lips. but im constantly eyeing myself trying to get at me in all those little ways. digging into myself until even the void itself becomes sore. and with this i realize i am afraid of myself. completely and utterly terrified of knowing or not knowing all that lies deep beneath the surface.
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