「這一句話，我會記上一輩子。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZAuuBgkRP
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGZyRbHadx
二十年前，我拋下這麼一句話，頭也不回，離開那個家。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgLvzx1z71
某位於港島區的咖啡店內。淺啡木紋地磚和同調木紋膠板桌椅，配襯白色牆身和米黃色燈膽，輔以多個小盆栽和青色咕𠱸作點綴，簡潔得來帶有滿滿的溫馨。完全符合阿妹理想中「家」的形象。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ejPqlv8Nn
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzyVFvZsJo
我們齊齊長大於日本文化盛行的年代，對日系風格情有獨鍾實屬在所難免。惟鍾愛歸鍾愛，我不禁在心裡吐糟眼前的芝士蛋糕：虛假的芝士味道和香氣，甜得發膩的化學甜，有如焦土的乾癟質地。怎麼可以如此難吃？418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1TnEuLig5
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGppGhWsaK
「不喜歡？」阿妹冷道，沒望我一眼，逕自品嚐她的芝士蛋糕和朱古力咖啡。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcsZWitZhF
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3FoNBZeed
「嗯。」我放下叉子，放棄價值五十元的蛋糕，暗嘆浪費。我寧可花同樣價錢，去茶餐廳吃鹹魚雞粒炒飯。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvapglMIOFL
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3S4tv5iCG
「這是區內最有名氣的芝士蛋糕。」阿妹對我的口味不以為然。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLCEbEHiy3
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFvfTPfjU5
「以『難吃』見稱嗎？」我冷嘲，惹得鄰桌的情侣竊笑。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3WPJ5JNCuB
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WeEryy1Up
阿妹面色玄青，無視我，低頭享用她的下午茶。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZlCdSERB9
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgiQveAEmos
我沒趣地拿出手提電話消磨時間，目光時而在通訊軟件上遊走，時而偷瞄對座的阿妹。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRaeAyZtwWD
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPmI4xB7Cg
我倆之間，是一張深度六百毫米的枱，也是二十年的空白。見面之前，我記憶中的阿妹是個廿三歲大學畢業生，純真無邪，略懂打扮；碰面當刻，舊印象驟然消失，獨一無二的阿妹變成充斥中環的普通辦公室女郎。微卷深啡長髮，濃妝豔抹，粉綠色及膝連身裙，純白色短袖小外套，三吋高跟鞋。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSuOXIPj7B
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzA0NxK8tBy
曾幾何時，我深信自己會跟阿妹一樣，成為打扮斯文的辦公室女郎。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZwyA2tgwH
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13cHluARaA
我的思緒飄到遙遠的平行世界去，直至阿妹放下叉子：「走吧。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWLtBcAuw4
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgpXhO6HOk
截下的士，我們直驅醫院去。車廂中，又是令人窒息的沉默。我從倒後鏡瞥望阿妹。她托著下巴，似是對著窗外景物發呆，亦似是從玻璃車廂的模糊倒影觀察我。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHPuc53758
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hSQpoS871
「待會兒，態度必須要溫和。」阿妹的口吻帶有「命令」的味道。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoS8Wj3cmi
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPizOKL42tx
「盡量。」我是個直腸直肚的人。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0FwvcnGGbt
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqyCtdTpQV
「難道你沒能大發慈悲，讓媽咪『離開』得安詳？」她略略加強語氣。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJku05nhxM
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxEtoeAMmD
「所以我沒有拒絕，而是答『盡量』！」我強抑怒火：「你不是不知道她的嘴巴就是不饒人！難道我要盲目啞忍所有過份要求？」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2KMxMfsXG
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnpMhPWgJr
「那天以後，她性格大變，嘴巴再也硬不起來。」阿妹神色放軟。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1tis42WDk
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEGFJT466N
我沒駁斥，任由沉默張牙舞爪。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuLlA2CLzW
進入私人病房前，阿妹從手袋拿出一個小紙袋，塞到我手裡：「給媽咪的小禮物，佯稱是你買的。」沒待我答允，她已推門內進，不讓我有拒絕的機會。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssyQT18SH4
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7nfdy1cOU
病床上的媽咪，戴著頸箍，缺了左腿，全身插滿連接儀器的喉管。床頭櫃有熱水壼和膠杯，櫃側有一灰色的膠椅，椅上有她最鍾愛的墨綠色的毛衣。出乎意料，毛衣多年以來仍忠實地守候在她身邊，活像她幻想出來的完美女兒。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwixgYijNDn
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi19j54XP33
「送你的。」根據阿妹的指示，我奉上紙袋。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzjoM5cYMf
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBesnpAcGB
媽咪的頭動不了，眼皮使力地開開合合，眼珠子艱難地轉動著，幾經辛苦才成功對焦，看見我。眼淚暴瀉，雙唇微顫，千言萬語卻離不開齒間。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhYl6K4v87
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uUzFHUf6q
「喚媽咪吧。」阿妹怒目相向，恨我的狠。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ540wZkvA1J
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWxDFiwEu0
縱先前對媽咪的病情略知一二，惟在此情此境，我竟反應不來，原地愣住。喜怒憂懼愛憎欲，好比混在一起的彩砂，沒能再分開。粒粒彩砂本來顏色鮮明，在此刻偏偏成了惹人眼花撩亂的雜訊，佔據每吋視線，令我看不清楚自己的心意。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeekp8KX6H
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGzHrJTyvP
「媽……咪……」我耗盡力氣，千辛萬苦才擠出兩粒字。不情不願，因為找不到自己的位置；心甘情願，因為這是最後的聚頭，該盡力讓事情有個不差勁的結局，算是清還她的養育之恩。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xT01hs46x
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc19B1zrle4
阿妹招招手，要我湊近媽咪，讓她看清楚多年不見的女兒。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGv47V0ooCr
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZg1PNqj8u
一絲抗拒掠過。我沒打算捕捉它，隨它消逝。我的手腳開始沒那麼生硬，乖乖依從阿妹的指令，走近床邊。阿妹要我給媽咪奉水，我照辦如儀。阿妹要我為媽咪披上毛衣，好，沒問題……不知底蘊的人看見「母慈女孝」的畫面，定會誤會我仨關係良好，感情深厚。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9Jefcn3og
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv38ACRzYRb
整個探訪過程，媽咪沒能吐出片言隻字：她的喉嚨受惡菌感染，非但沒能進食固體食物，甚至失去語言能力。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJFY9GcCmw
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAnOlO1UuC
不得不承認，我賤格。表面和藹謙恭，底裡毒如蛇蠍。我幻想，如果二十年前的媽咪已失去語言能力，我會否仍生活在這個家，是個千依百順的好女兒？418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVCxdy7X5R
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0MS4RrPA1
兩小時後，媽咪倦極入睡。阿妹要我先離開病房，在門外等候她。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ112E7u8nCe
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkCIu9uOPV
甫踏出房門，我與阿姨碰個正著。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpeTBcBjUJn
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSaYxq1JZ6
死八婆！若非她當年在旁煽風點火，我和家人的關係未必會破裂收場。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRBDkzmWxb
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsirVHfTbsG
「我就是知道你會來。」阿姨擺出料事如神的姿態，以冷峻目光掃視我全身：「很缺錢吧？」講完莫名其妙的一句後，她掏出一張支票予我。「你的報酬。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vLQaDLFwP
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJuKqg2vXr
我沒有立即接下，思疑她在打甚麼鬼主意。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlGSjH9DM8
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBejZZeVKYU
湊巧，阿妹從病房出來，看見我和阿姨在門口僵持，立即上前解釋事情因由：「我沒有告訴她關於支票的事。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZufn9muj71
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpKd8KSLbN
「你的意思……她不是為錢而來？」阿姨拿著支票的手緩緩垂下。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6GULDmKaR
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEw42U2KQn
「嗯。」受壓於阿姨的強勢，適才不慍不火的阿妹怯怯點頭。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCWvSiOwvR
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlYjEbn759
「那麼……」阿姨猶豫了半晌，最終還是決定將猜忌放進問題裡。「你為何而來？」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltOtXvePGM
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4YDxCtvpC
「出於對老人家的憐憫和惻隱。」我胡謅，強裝正氣凜然。其實我未曾細想自己為何而來。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOK1aXd6Sw
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHlOrrDHSc
「很好。可以省掉。」阿姨有意無意地將支票在我面前晃來晃去。逗狗似的。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaaFZY1mmf
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk52T9pS67c
「如果沒有別的要事，我先離開。」我選擇了忍耐。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVp9wTdpPxT
醫院外的大路上，人不多，三三兩兩的。探病的、求醫的、久病初癒的、迴光反照的。我屬於哪種？該是「半死不活的」：情況沒有差得要死，卻怎也活得不好。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVR9ap4Vzan
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDebz7kaFzo
缺錢？工作不順利？與丈夫婚姻不和諧？與子女有代溝？統統不是。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxnOKqYYrWl
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJLMs0YHyU
僅是純粹的不快樂，若有所失。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomLXENibBg
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKV6S0OpLo
每當我感到幸福時，記憶就會成為粘粘的漿糊，將我黏在內心的缺口上。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9c4e6L8bM7
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡerirFgTiu4
「等……我……」阿妹的聲音從後傳來。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHgK4FoMnJ
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZRpkoEhsR
我佯裝聽不見，加快腳步，務求撇下腳踏三吋高跟鞋的她。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡISSSUnP2YM
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Y07g1mCUW
「家姐！」豈料阿妹不顧儀態，高呼大叫，吸引途人們的目光。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67IqWzi91N
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pJSB2rB0q
我的雙腳不自已停下來。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpeOrFLsyV
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNROq2DQJ4
不消十秒，氣喘如牛的阿妹跑到我身邊來：「謀……殺……嗎？」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLewBy0BMKX
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGQyslMwBk
我鐵著臉，沒意欲跟她開玩笑。「那張支票，是誰的主意？」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBHMxHf4FJ
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGppM2PH9R
「媽咪。」阿妹不敢正視我雙眼：「她覺得你會拒絕到來。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwbM8imREY
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpPEhtzJkx
「你們仍舊認為我是嫌棄家境窮困而離開嗎？」我本不欲重提舊話，奈何我忍不住要再次辯解。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2JoCW2b9f
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvljUS2bmb
「我們想不到其他原因。」阿妹的答案隱含委屈。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWihqJtNyVC
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvPPCBPfFi
「我從不認為我們家境窮困。」我氣得開步走。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnN3iIsklxu
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLoLn8hcu2
阿妹連忙拉住我的衣袖，轉換話題：「有興趣跟我和阿姨吃晚餐嗎？我們會與你討論遺產事宜。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOau1SvC17s
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa1bSCvFrcX
「沒有。」我乾脆利落地拒絕。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7I3JYbNNC6
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrEkB1CM8U
「僅僅一頓便飯而已。」阿妹屢敗屢試。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIwZXA8FwB
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RY4FhiBmL
「不了。」我稍稍施力甩開她的手。「你倆把錢分掉吧。無需通知我。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfmuLRVxSj
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLu10hrtwBs
「我會轉告阿姨。」世故的阿妹知道我在顧忌誰。「但你可以和我一起晚餐嗎？只是我跟你！」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqakGbnpf3w
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapmU5Y5bJT
我意識到這是她最後一次的邀約，再也講不出拒絕的說話，迷迷糊糊地與她並肩而行，行到醫院附近的咖啡店。她為我點了抹茶蛋糕和朱古力砂冰，聽聞是鎮店之寶。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Ri1ZGULb8
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfCOFkf8Cb
我嚐了一口。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3nYpNHlcr
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRem9s5Y84J
甜得要命。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30HDWg10wy
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1d8PVvFAq
「你是否不再喜歡吃甜品？」阿妹從我的難受表情找到端倪。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1B436siPQR
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEB4Mx8IV44
我傻傻點頭，驀然記起自己曾經是個無甜不歡的傢伙，對咖啡店的精緻甜品更是愛不釋手。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBVbQXtUSU
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNaIXsYi3H
「我對你的印象停留在二十年前。」阿妹眼裡盡是懷緬。「溫柔的、膽小的、笨笨的家姐。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW91Ek0SBnG
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNObC9GwGIg
「我自問從不是溫柔的傢伙，純粹是害怕開罪別人而假裝溫柔；我不是膽小的，至少我比你更有離家出走的勇氣；我不是笨笨的，起碼我有能力比你更先離開。」我努力提起叉子，再嚐一口蛋糕。很難吃。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTfjpNX27R
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQ68bdZbcn
「難怪你要走。」阿妹噗嗤假笑，表情苦澀得複雜。「我們自以為了解你、明白你，不明白何以你最後竟捨棄我們……」她那握叉的手重覆戳向蛋糕，直至它成漿成糊。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0cqD15gtd
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsW77MdJf2
「其實我也不了解你們。至少，我沒有想過你們會利誘我來探望媽咪。」我苦笑搖頭：「我理解他們何以會不明所以。」由始至終，我在意的人只有阿妹。「你呢？你比他們更了解我的處境！別以為我不知道你當時同樣想走！」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz1yBh7r2BP
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OzdohhbQq
「你終於承認當時是知道我的想法！」被我戳到痛處，阿妹失儀地將叉子擲在碟上。金屬叉子碰瓷碟，有如我的話碰她的心，發出響亮而清脆的碰擊聲。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Vt03Zv7Sl
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7AmfrXTA4
「為何你不帶我走？我日盼夜盼，盼望你會聯絡我，帶我走。在意識到你不會帶我走時，我又開始催眠自己，說你遇到意外，說你被壞朋友騙了，說你尚未安頓下來……我不知道該要怎麼辦！418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONwa0fN1WZ
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fxaI2dfTA
我有很多很多問號！ 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpRbwNChIw
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoIrxF5C4qY
我不明白你的想法！我不清楚自己在你心目中的位置！我不明白為何我要為你編作解釋！我不明白為何我信任的人會拋棄我！我不肯定自己能否負擔起整個家！明明是我倆的共同責任，為何我要獨自承受？」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdO81hNsMi
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiykRlLWnpp
「因為你是壓垮我的最後一根稻草。」思緒千迴百轉，最終我決定長話短說，淡然將描述她揮金如土的萬字怨言吞回肚子去。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgh1cQV5TYn
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkMhnxFgwV
霎時間，阿妹答不上話，直視我雙眸，似是觀察我的表情，希望能夠從中找出一絲歉疚，亦似是在乞求我大開金口，施捨半句道歉話。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjy4xGyyO70
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2V5r7CiETc
可惜，我沒打算繼續在她的生命裡留下甚麼。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuoJhbu3FEh
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CdZYz3Knk
「算了吧。」為打圓場，阿妹選擇口不對心：「反正我們以後不會見面，不需要執著彼此。」若果她真的能夠放下執著，適才就沒能細數她的痛苦點滴。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJr0ZAnIkhy
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpoDNM9RBfs
「是的。」我釋懷一笑，放下叉，不再勉強自己清掉碟上的蛋糕。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUn3kjb3f7
用餐過後，我和阿妹公式化地道別，從此分道揚鑣。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEe3lSCroOR
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77nhw7d8Qy
我看看手錶，晚上十時許。路人不多，疏疏落落的。黃光路燈斜照著路人們，照出多個長腿叔叔。故事中的長腿叔叔是個擁有美滿人生的紳士，現實中的我們卻是破碎殘缺的獨立個體。東一塊，西一塊，難以湊成一個家。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AC5CSaRKQ
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFzjjfQs5v
需要感到遺憾嗎？無需要。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpE9sHXPwmR
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSrfLV1hAM8
曾有感到遺憾嗎？曾有。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFG7emnwf0
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAVnDAG5sB
會繼續感到遺憾嗎？不會。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzZscKITp1
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoYPUx4QLp
我慢步走向鐵路站。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgtqWHXjqw
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMaU35heoYS
慢慢的，慢慢的，有如二十年歲月一樣慢。漫長的二十年裡，我一步一步走過來，無數次踏在內心的缺口上。自以為腳掌會感受到缺口的虛空與不平，自以為低頭就會看見缺口的廣闊與無邊，自以為缺口會永遠存在。殊不知缺口已在不知不覺間被時間撫平。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0f04OETJ4
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArTwnllNKJ
剛才我不是故意將不快記憶輕描淡寫，而是無論我怎麼努力去回想，所有細節都經已模糊不堪。最清晰的，只有我當年留下的那句話。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBoh8a20ZM
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpsxldvofL
「這一句話，我會記上一輩子。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsc6aPFZ1r
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTh4eVNJjK
簡單的十一個字，濃縮了多年的壓抑和不滿，是負面情緒的頂點。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEExxS2ILec
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5P3tuV349
說話離開了唇角，繃緊的情緒失去支撐物，慢慢紓緩下來。由最無關痛癢的，至最為要緊的，一點一滴隨年月悄悄消逝。我忘記了誰講出讓我記上一輩子的說話，忘記了對話的內容，忘記了對話的前因……取而代之的，是能夠被握在手心的現在和能夠被觀望的將來。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqIBEVDGci
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBnTVrzTuE
我倏忽停下腳步，換個方向，走到便利店，買了罐冰凍啤酒。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2pNzSkIGx
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIAQSEKS99
為何仍清楚記得那份恨意？418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2t8eUE4eSy
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCVzdx0dJ2
我知道答案。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8n3zcI2M6
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgi4yMlikCF
答案像啤酒。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcEHfYMsGI
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtsdLytn29Q
啤酒不是必需品，但我習慣在心情欠佳時喝啤酒。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeL2GzOFTow
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03BOAGlndJ
那份恨意不是必須存在，但我習慣了它的存在，習慣用它去概括描述我離家出走前的人生。久而久之，那份恨意就成了那段日子的代名詞。那段日子只有恨意，沒有願望，沒有七情，沒有喜好，遑論快樂。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡed1Vrd8BQ7
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEeXQXc8u1
我將啤酒一飲而盡。空空如也的啤酒罐精準地落入垃圾桶裡。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFddMpE49N
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPmoABHnSQ
若果我可以同樣將記恨習慣拋入垃圾桶，該多好！418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksokdvFHFG
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmXk6GyDN2
不要緊。給我二十一天，戒掉壞習慣。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLySqAaK3BL
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURL3ionNaG
我保證，往後滴酒不沾，吋恨不記。
