如果讀者喜歡此故事,希望你能正評+留言,或到penana點「喜歡」,謝謝你的支持!385Please respect copyright.PENANAFLDIcJIzBh
385Please respect copyright.PENANApRcl28DiCJ
https://www.penana.com/story/59387/勵志-命運的顏色-一個書寫障礙患者的故事385Please respect copyright.PENANAL38ruHopIr
385Please respect copyright.PENANAgmupCLLykt
==================================385Please respect copyright.PENANAFK2H32wZH1
385Please respect copyright.PENANAXW4L0TpqzP
147章 - 不應該有的空閒385Please respect copyright.PENANAStCbNkrSvE
385Please respect copyright.PENANAqH6X4H3cf4
兩年多過去,我一直沒有全職工作,沒有跟半個朋友來往,過著封閉式生活。385Please respect copyright.PENANAlI4Z8QxHqa
385Please respect copyright.PENANAZIj3WEoOsw
今天運動完了,我回到家裡,一如以往空無一人、昏暗的大廳,洗好澡,打算推開房門的時候,聽到身後另一道房門拉開了。385Please respect copyright.PENANAmuwxOV041i
385Please respect copyright.PENANALA32CoeJNE
「程,回來了嗎?」老爸說。385Please respect copyright.PENANAinWQJCBH0f
385Please respect copyright.PENANA9mmFm4eVJp
老爸數年前動過手術,幸運地,他的康復進度良好。數年過去了,傷口雖然還會隱隱作痛,老爸按時吃藥,依照醫生的指示,身體已沒大礙。385Please respect copyright.PENANAH5qPMEOhQm
385Please respect copyright.PENANAkGodQ0nXes
從前老爸是夜班司機,大病之後沒有上夜班了。不言敗的他,總是希望重投職場,以較低薪水重操故業,當兼職日班私人司機,每星期上班三天,其他時間在家裡休息。據老爸說,他的體力能應付工作需要,老媽當然想老爸以身體作為首要考慮,但是考慮到終點是希望老爸走出疾病的陰霾,所以放任醫學上失去工作能力的老爸繼續工作。385Please respect copyright.PENANA6PnVkzg5GG
385Please respect copyright.PENANAzLCl3vWxPW
一個秋日的午後,今天老爸不用上班。385Please respect copyright.PENANA2Kllvcb6Pm
385Please respect copyright.PENANAGGU6EozHsu
「嗯。」我說。385Please respect copyright.PENANAqzyc18pMsa
385Please respect copyright.PENANAMl6iB3YdhD
難道這個衣裝要出去嗎?385Please respect copyright.PENANAUnuj3PKFKN
385Please respect copyright.PENANADxA64zOm1U
「吃了飯沒有,要做飯給你吃嗎?」老爸說。385Please respect copyright.PENANABtnnlo7m6X
385Please respect copyright.PENANAV6tXT6eMTs
「不…不用了,已經吃了。」我說。385Please respect copyright.PENANAKU9PcZ7sMW
385Please respect copyright.PENANAvKNAWPC9xJ
「有空聊一下嗎?」老爸扶著牆壁,坐到沙發說。385Please respect copyright.PENANAk8oZuQW0eu
385Please respect copyright.PENANAoSWAoCv9UD
「…」385Please respect copyright.PENANAb05jAIDdoC
385Please respect copyright.PENANAkmlKZnNNJ4
突然要聊天,總覺得不會是甚麼好事。385Please respect copyright.PENANA7ExqcWI2z5
385Please respect copyright.PENANAcZ368lOnLc
我倒了杯熱茶給老爸,坐到了老爸身旁,心裡準備好迎接老爸的訓斥。385Please respect copyright.PENANARvCGqpn6qB
385Please respect copyright.PENANAl6pS0UEMAJ
我稍稍察看老爸的臉,他是一張仁慈的臉。385Please respect copyright.PENANAQEspjJvxmF
385Please respect copyright.PENANASalGzNBtZl
「今天沒有補習嗎?」老爸說。385Please respect copyright.PENANAGPOBxOQNsa
385Please respect copyright.PENANACsSkQPjHC6
「有啊,晚上有一個學生。」385Please respect copyright.PENANAKfEXljFpMv
385Please respect copyright.PENANA4N8IXv28P8
「不用等你吃飯了?」385Please respect copyright.PENANAHXL6AqsDrC
385Please respect copyright.PENANAryjfYpTCq6
「我吃了飯再出去。」385Please respect copyright.PENANApiniyp70VM
385Please respect copyright.PENANAJVhhdHknJd
「收入…還好嗎?」385Please respect copyright.PENANA28K68Bjbeo
385Please respect copyright.PENANAWeIGCcPPqQ
兩年了,沒有全職工作的事實,家人當然知道,以前我跟他們說︰「我的開支會自理」,老爸老媽竟然沒有反對,光哥…自中學以後就不再管我的事了,所以沒人阻止我的決定。我一直依靠補習那份不高不低的收入過活,其他時間不斷做戶外運動和在房間做訓練,希望終有一天能打開那個「開關」,離開發展協調障礙這個問題。但時至今天,問題依然持續。385Please respect copyright.PENANALZ4ZBH9Yyj
385Please respect copyright.PENANAVNg7ygWv7C
「嗯。」我馬虎回答。385Please respect copyright.PENANAOIGoGLaetc
385Please respect copyright.PENANAtjPqY1FzPI
「不夠花的話我給你一點?」老爸說。385Please respect copyright.PENANATCuY32PYtC
385Please respect copyright.PENANADdBHZhN8jx
因為光哥的工程公司經營理想,他不時給一大把鈔票作為家用,感覺是送錢給父母的孝子,老爸老媽見到我的情況,不時問我錢夠不夠花,總是被我拒絕。385Please respect copyright.PENANAL7n1bLU8FW
385Please respect copyright.PENANAFpe7bjs79T
「不用了,我還可以,老爸你把錢儲起來吧。」385Please respect copyright.PENANAvu8zAVhWkm
385Please respect copyright.PENANAzuF9ur8Umg
路是自己挑的,到死,都要把路走完,為自己的決定負責。385Please respect copyright.PENANA6BuPo5DUbs
385Please respect copyright.PENANA2rbTt9SeI8
「想關心一下你的情況,可以嗎?」385Please respect copyright.PENANAjyAcTEERwb
385Please respect copyright.PENANAq0ny8LMChz
你的身份是父親,沒有甚麼可以不可以啊,否定我的決定也是有道理的。385Please respect copyright.PENANAMD5eo8zxN4
385Please respect copyright.PENANAF2vLUJ4M4h
「程你…真的沒打算找全職工作嗎?」385Please respect copyright.PENANApdtozlqkjT
385Please respect copyright.PENANA2ceyabpvwH
「…」我盯著屋內的一角,思考怎樣回答。385Please respect copyright.PENANAbWTYTdLBIO
385Please respect copyright.PENANAEwkldRziMa
「雖然錢方面你現在不成問題,但是長久下去,人的擔子愈來愈大,我們幫不了多少啊。」385Please respect copyright.PENANAjYoGwWHK00
385Please respect copyright.PENANArF9SHFXlU3
作為補習老師,時薪升幅不算理想,最理想方法是多找幾個學生,這樣就犧牲時間,跟我的主要目標相違背。385Please respect copyright.PENANApNA3g0n7Jr
385Please respect copyright.PENANAWwdCm9etjq
「你爸我,知道你不是沒有工作的心,你每天都有去上班,幹自己喜歡的事,沒有問我們要過半毛錢,這些我們是知道的,但是你的情況,我們開始擔心了。」385Please respect copyright.PENANAwsjSmXNIN3
385Please respect copyright.PENANA6vwrSch3Nq
要是老爸來硬的,我一定頂嘴,但是他用柔和的方式說這些話,我反駁不了,準確點說是「不忍心反駁」...385Please respect copyright.PENANA9EPmxwJRON
385Please respect copyright.PENANA2rrbTbcnOZ
「喜歡教學生,為甚麼不當全職補習老師?我朋友的女兒就是補習老師,這樣工作會穩定一點吧?」385Please respect copyright.PENANATaxOPAUIv2
385Please respect copyright.PENANAexFokYQ7Oh
我不是沒有想過當全職補習老師...全職就沒有時間了。我選擇維持這個狀態是希望找到更多時間,為身上的機能病找到答案,我深信自己能辦到,所以從來沒有放棄過,也沒有放棄過自己...385Please respect copyright.PENANAnlrufmRLQg
385Please respect copyright.PENANAN94I955OlP
這兩年裡,我不斷嘗試以前聽過的疑似答案,早就試過但沒甚麼治效、物理治療師的治療指示,還有白先生說的運動治療法,每天抽很多時間反覆做過無數次測試、鍛鍊,甚至中學確診之前被我否定了的方向也重新跑了一遍,有開倒車的感覺,但事實是︰所有都不像是答案,手部活動能力沒有突破性的改善...天啊...385Please respect copyright.PENANAgWNpt1iqpq
385Please respect copyright.PENANAYNOkcu2wQb
可能,我對自己是個「不正常的人」這個自我定位耿耿於懷,不想被別人標籤,也不想接受這個事實,所以才花費無數時間想要治好這個病。385Please respect copyright.PENANAbczcVMtgbw
385Please respect copyright.PENANAhSb5RbrCXo
念念不忘,結果白花了兩年。385Please respect copyright.PENANAZ6tcvc2eLQ
385Please respect copyright.PENANArey9PbBo8g
值得為一個旁人看來只是小問題的病花掉青春黃金期的兩年嗎?385Please respect copyright.PENANAitQIOrcXNU
385Please respect copyright.PENANAq74vsKN7yF
我想沒有經歷過這類病症的人,是不會明白我的痛苦。這個想法,從中學開始我已經抱持著。385Please respect copyright.PENANAYZopcyMufg
385Please respect copyright.PENANAo0xA1OOHUI
即使是經歷過這種苦的白先生,也不太明白我的痛苦。他憑自己的其他優秀條件,成功找到其他類別的工作,他還「幸運地」解決了抄寫的問題,成就非凡。385Please respect copyright.PENANA8NdpC4haRM
385Please respect copyright.PENANA9mDnWcE3SW
一將功成,萬骨枯。有多少同病相連的畢業生被這個病折騰得死來活去,迷失在時間的洪流之中?難道失敗者會站出來分享失敗的經驗嗎?從來只有成功者有資格搞分享會,讓所有人看成功者美輪美奐的一面。於我而言,我覺得失敗者也值得搞自己的分享會,前車之轍,可以借鑒,但是世界價值觀否定了我的想法,我一直找不到經驗分享,不論是生活周遭,還是越洋到世界彼端的網絡世界。385Please respect copyright.PENANATW3BfZspY7
385Please respect copyright.PENANAKQmiMHBxHG
「…」我好像有甚麼難言之隱似的,純粹低下頭。385Please respect copyright.PENANA54gySBOMeI
385Please respect copyright.PENANAqd9EAtOOAp
「有甚麼事想要做嗎?」老爸說。385Please respect copyright.PENANAwI319KzEMH
385Please respect copyright.PENANAMRdWHcOKXk
我微微點頭。385Please respect copyright.PENANAuD5IK9ceUm
385Please respect copyright.PENANABuAIQNk0Hy
「是不是那個...甚麼病?」老爸問。385Please respect copyright.PENANAQiYdaDkpe8
385Please respect copyright.PENANAOJT23CURi8
原來老爸還記得我有這個問題。385Please respect copyright.PENANAU7bBUN9AaF
385Please respect copyright.PENANAdEx0dKzLhb
我又微微點頭。385Please respect copyright.PENANAb4co7jflNg
385Please respect copyright.PENANAQ5ErswhNuT
「你爸我,還有你媽,唸書真的不多,不知道你發生了甚麼事,但是人的時間是有限的,你看我和你媽,臉上皺紋跟頭髮一樣多,不要留下後悔啊。」385Please respect copyright.PENANA2FQnhuYHiP
385Please respect copyright.PENANAWXTaEwbY4j
不要留下後悔…385Please respect copyright.PENANAlMvaAiee9V
385Please respect copyright.PENANAz750VAwB7p
其實我現在做的事就是為了不留下後悔,但好像在製造另一個後悔…我開始搞不清了。385Please respect copyright.PENANAROfHsSRFA2
385Please respect copyright.PENANAgsn2TX3tK4
「聊別的吧。光快要結婚了,他有跟你聊過甚麼嗎?」老爸轉話題。385Please respect copyright.PENANAB2JiHUUShq
385Please respect copyright.PENANABMq7XZiFwK
「沒有。」385Please respect copyright.PENANAAO9zk6wcS6
385Please respect copyright.PENANAlRV2uBZx0J
這幾年我不斷向光哥搭話,他總是一句起,兩句止的回答,他怎會主動跟我說甚麼。385Please respect copyright.PENANAWYToEXjczD
385Please respect copyright.PENANAykHbIsOAyG
「甚麼?竟然沒有?兩星期後就是光的婚禮了。」385Please respect copyright.PENANACcilptqTAp
385Please respect copyright.PENANAUx2SVNzV2D
「甚麼時候安排的?我完全不知道啊。」385Please respect copyright.PENANAetmIf4e2xy
385Please respect copyright.PENANAaooh6FpZtx
我只知道光哥跟一個叫歐陽家琪的女孩交往了幾年,她不時在我們家吃飯,感情穩定,就只是這樣。我真不知道婚期。385Please respect copyright.PENANA6uzBAAxEi1
385Please respect copyright.PENANA8OX5mvVHU9
「光打算儀式簡單一點,把錢省下來。早上註冊簽文件,下午到雙方的家敬茶,晚上在茶樓擺幾圍,儀式就當完成了。」385Please respect copyright.PENANANMOm5JC2Jd
385Please respect copyright.PENANA6OvNscptxf
「沒有禮服之類的嗎?」385Please respect copyright.PENANAaOGGwEIDNc
385Please respect copyright.PENANAQnE3kFaGmc
「沒有,光主張一切從簡,他打算穿運動裝而已。」老爸難掩萬分恩惠心情地說。385Please respect copyright.PENANAM4DfnujB3l
385Please respect copyright.PENANAxlhKLvUIe4
穿運動裝結婚…385Please respect copyright.PENANAlQaxsly7LT
385Please respect copyright.PENANAtV0ksjiMC3
「即是說我們不用刻意打扮?」385Please respect copyright.PENANAkHuGqX13nQ
385Please respect copyright.PENANAE0Tmsu84eh
「我想是吧,我跟你媽打算穿得像逛街一樣而已,不然比主角更好看又有點奇怪。」老爸笑著說。385Please respect copyright.PENANAM7WMvGZAdM
385Please respect copyright.PENANAHcl8wJQpMg
「那天我有甚麼可以幫忙嗎?」385Please respect copyright.PENANAmcZwogWnw2
385Please respect copyright.PENANAFB1tPBDadQ
「嗯…暫時沒有。你那天早點起床,給一天光吧?補習可以調動一下時間嗎?」385Please respect copyright.PENANADAc7e6pQYS
385Please respect copyright.PENANASzuw5pGm3K
「好的。」385Please respect copyright.PENANA5O70a0I1Qk
385Please respect copyright.PENANAFBXh2PWOgj
「還有,光說你不用買甚麼給他了,不用花這個錢。」385Please respect copyright.PENANACd1ps3swfy
385Please respect copyright.PENANA9eqZ2VEsb5
「…」385Please respect copyright.PENANAq2BfwA2PzD
385Please respect copyright.PENANA4alpbQmk1p
買結婚禮物的話,獨力選一份禮物,少說也要二千多塊,精美一點或者挑戒指可能要三千,可能光哥考慮到我的經濟狀況吧。385Please respect copyright.PENANAt9molZbTo1
385Please respect copyright.PENANAxatuvYjNov
「杜家終於有媳婦了,光真的混得不錯。」老爸的臉洋溢著幸福,老懷安慰般。385Please respect copyright.PENANAiYLMI2P5bB
385Please respect copyright.PENANApOwody2rWf
光哥中學成績太爛,沒有繼續唸書,早早踏入社會,卻因為找到自己前路去向,早早啟程出發、在社會混,混得理想;反觀自己…也是混社會,卻是「胡混」的「混」,事業還沒有起步。385Please respect copyright.PENANAtC8rySsLjx
385Please respect copyright.PENANAtk6ESSFb5w
「其實你爸我…雖然今天只有自己一個人吃飯,但是相當高興,因為你們都有自己的事業︰你媽要工作,你也要工作,光除了工作還要陪女朋友,能有這個家庭,我非常高興。現在我最擔心的是你啊,程。」385Please respect copyright.PENANAZ2678hOAKt
385Please respect copyright.PENANAGXQGa7Rbos
「…」385Please respect copyright.PENANARmY0KzJVq7
385Please respect copyright.PENANAX1vOs1G52e
「可以的話,我真想你帶一個人上來吃飯,能倒茶給我喝就最好了。」385Please respect copyright.PENANAmo5U9NmuiI
385Please respect copyright.PENANAiwz4hC2n7j
我就知道這個話題今天一定躲不了…你要喝茶是嗎?我倒給你,你要多少杯?385Please respect copyright.PENANAB9RqJmisKJ
385Please respect copyright.PENANA9smk8F6UVE
「程啊。」老爸抓起我的手。「要學會為自己打算啊,人會老的。」385Please respect copyright.PENANAT1n0G5VCRw
385Please respect copyright.PENANAPm1JsvoW85
…385Please respect copyright.PENANAL5ekW7i1wQ
385Please respect copyright.PENANA7pNYRsZSM9
「嗯…嗯。」我只哼出一聲,表情苦澀,心裡被揪住似的。「呼…」385Please respect copyright.PENANA06e5AJ1EJK
385Please respect copyright.PENANA2KOqr7CX4x
速度…到今天還沒有結果…385Please respect copyright.PENANAIcYx1mhZ24
385Please respect copyright.PENANA96khaGYoEG
「肚子真的不餓嗎?」385Please respect copyright.PENANA0V8vguZlQA
385Please respect copyright.PENANAoAmiP8FsyN
「嗯。」我哼聲。385Please respect copyright.PENANAt3qu7tipPz
385Please respect copyright.PENANAItepHh4rWR
「好吧,聊了很久,那麼不阻你了。」老爸說畢,蹣跚地回到房間休息了。385Please respect copyright.PENANAfWsDs6LtlR
385Please respect copyright.PENANAUiYW4pJWDD
為何一個病人,即使被評為「永久失去工作能力」,拼死擠出半點力量,成就出不可能;而身為健全人士的我,卻甚麼也做不到…385Please respect copyright.PENANAPp0w55cJsy
385Please respect copyright.PENANAbvvDUAJhd6
「為甚麼?」385Please respect copyright.PENANAwG0N0EvMxH
385Please respect copyright.PENANAsxtt79Dosl
為甚麼…385Please respect copyright.PENANAcgbLCdxd05
385Please respect copyright.PENANANG7AlaBWeG
我不想再停留在這個階段啊,那麼接下來的路,要怎樣走?385Please respect copyright.PENANAQN99LLOMOI
385Please respect copyright.PENANA20lDUrYJJQ
385Please respect copyright.PENANAcCJ6wA2DPW
385Please respect copyright.PENANAlfpvbtaqTh
385Please respect copyright.PENANAPAI5zVX277
385Please respect copyright.PENANALRGZK6OXjd
385Please respect copyright.PENANA8jsnxZJaTs
385Please respect copyright.PENANArxDDvJzPoc
385Please respect copyright.PENANAmOeNaHUxCx