如果讀者喜歡此故事，希望你能正評+留言，或到penana點「喜歡」，謝謝你的支持！369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobeyAWjkqo
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXBAKOZqdf
https://www.penana.com/story/59387/勵志-命運的顏色-一個書寫障礙患者的故事369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzt5YjKrZVl
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jAId5Q0wJ
＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zLZVl5DIM
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mpTjLlvv2
147章 - 不應該有的空閒369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8iuVT6YzC
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLuQ6k53GvM
兩年多過去，我一直沒有全職工作，沒有跟半個朋友來往，過著封閉式生活。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4u3yuo6kv
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWxAgzYHEr
今天運動完了，我回到家裡，一如以往空無一人、昏暗的大廳，洗好澡，打算推開房門的時候，聽到身後另一道房門拉開了。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5ykgm2KK5
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhTGl00S6hM
「程，回來了嗎？」老爸說。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaEclgYnuL
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcytRiWrw7w
老爸數年前動過手術，幸運地，他的康復進度良好。數年過去了，傷口雖然還會隱隱作痛，老爸按時吃藥，依照醫生的指示，身體已沒大礙。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOfML7VXLn
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVsfRJPkRp
從前老爸是夜班司機，大病之後沒有上夜班了。不言敗的他，總是希望重投職場，以較低薪水重操故業，當兼職日班私人司機，每星期上班三天，其他時間在家裡休息。據老爸說，他的體力能應付工作需要，老媽當然想老爸以身體作為首要考慮，但是考慮到終點是希望老爸走出疾病的陰霾，所以放任醫學上失去工作能力的老爸繼續工作。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0GGQmwEsy
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgQjXOJh09
一個秋日的午後，今天老爸不用上班。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMt87MFMvd
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdrdhwGRYn
「嗯。」我說。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFeyLyTR30l
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYE2KXP5TWw
難道這個衣裝要出去嗎？369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfro23x2d5Y
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKeH2JmGqI
「吃了飯沒有，要做飯給你吃嗎？」老爸說。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzGh78TSZe
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyM2J1tJBPD
「不…不用了，已經吃了。」我說。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAln3gsFicg
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtoxlqXRs8
「有空聊一下嗎？」老爸扶著牆壁，坐到沙發說。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJw5HBmXWgt
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsolVW1Rud
「…」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmU4jZHkydP
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrk4gL64MT
突然要聊天，總覺得不會是甚麼好事。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdkyAO5IWI
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1CWme4GGJ
我倒了杯熱茶給老爸，坐到了老爸身旁，心裡準備好迎接老爸的訓斥。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCU9BkfQqCR
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9vGe0s4oS
我稍稍察看老爸的臉，他是一張仁慈的臉。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20TZRz3aR0
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZdOtsDImh
「今天沒有補習嗎？」老爸說。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszAbNFTXPA
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPddKwwJSpK
「有啊，晚上有一個學生。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkDEu1yjHY
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFvbZiwX3G
「不用等你吃飯了？」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NNEif8tG9
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdXxf7ApZk
「我吃了飯再出去。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRn3yj869q
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTP8IQtnHG
「收入…還好嗎？」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAAetfSDem
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMOQi6r4mZ
兩年了，沒有全職工作的事實，家人當然知道，以前我跟他們說︰「我的開支會自理」，老爸老媽竟然沒有反對，光哥…自中學以後就不再管我的事了，所以沒人阻止我的決定。我一直依靠補習那份不高不低的收入過活，其他時間不斷做戶外運動和在房間做訓練，希望終有一天能打開那個「開關」，離開發展協調障礙這個問題。但時至今天，問題依然持續。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNDjkbKH05
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwaI6JCfvux
「嗯。」我馬虎回答。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqZo1wx2eB
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2CO79BVl7
「不夠花的話我給你一點？」老爸說。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajCy7MVNWh
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAoNlFhiim
因為光哥的工程公司經營理想，他不時給一大把鈔票作為家用，感覺是送錢給父母的孝子，老爸老媽見到我的情況，不時問我錢夠不夠花，總是被我拒絕。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbN3dYB70pA
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCBNfsV9pZ
「不用了，我還可以，老爸你把錢儲起來吧。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlWWW7Lznf
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjo7cvehpUL
路是自己挑的，到死，都要把路走完，為自己的決定負責。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXs5HgEW115
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8Y7AdSKus
「想關心一下你的情況，可以嗎？」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1hReHsxXr
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yBwZ4AI6E
你的身份是父親，沒有甚麼可以不可以啊，否定我的決定也是有道理的。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobhxhrYHRB
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqEZVGwV2i
「程你…真的沒打算找全職工作嗎？」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtxII9kCau
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh2lPLmpXHM
「…」我盯著屋內的一角，思考怎樣回答。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKhk1iYEha
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNUURxJVMP
「雖然錢方面你現在不成問題，但是長久下去，人的擔子愈來愈大，我們幫不了多少啊。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Ogp1Hgjtv
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhNeBrZ23z
作為補習老師，時薪升幅不算理想，最理想方法是多找幾個學生，這樣就犧牲時間，跟我的主要目標相違背。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzn33BC4Kb
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWD8Rxs95kY
「你爸我，知道你不是沒有工作的心，你每天都有去上班，幹自己喜歡的事，沒有問我們要過半毛錢，這些我們是知道的，但是你的情況，我們開始擔心了。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53tEW3axrB
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6NPzfVLqb
要是老爸來硬的，我一定頂嘴，但是他用柔和的方式說這些話，我反駁不了，準確點說是「不忍心反駁」...369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7PT4l06OA
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ29yrczMS7
「喜歡教學生，為甚麼不當全職補習老師？我朋友的女兒就是補習老師，這樣工作會穩定一點吧？」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqU2oD0RNCt
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYWbU2PbbD
我不是沒有想過當全職補習老師...全職就沒有時間了。我選擇維持這個狀態是希望找到更多時間，為身上的機能病找到答案，我深信自己能辦到，所以從來沒有放棄過，也沒有放棄過自己...369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXA2vDbzlG
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfI4zrMSw7w
這兩年裡，我不斷嘗試以前聽過的疑似答案，早就試過但沒甚麼治效、物理治療師的治療指示，還有白先生說的運動治療法，每天抽很多時間反覆做過無數次測試、鍛鍊，甚至中學確診之前被我否定了的方向也重新跑了一遍，有開倒車的感覺，但事實是︰所有都不像是答案，手部活動能力沒有突破性的改善...天啊...369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlOXjwo4oU
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfeWsxkac4
可能，我對自己是個「不正常的人」這個自我定位耿耿於懷，不想被別人標籤，也不想接受這個事實，所以才花費無數時間想要治好這個病。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCI2LhyNRU
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm8IOiqbyG1
念念不忘，結果白花了兩年。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiq4QX0DToV
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWxHgqt3Bq
值得為一個旁人看來只是小問題的病花掉青春黃金期的兩年嗎？369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgTN1ARZMv
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw97LAEn1sk
我想沒有經歷過這類病症的人，是不會明白我的痛苦。這個想法，從中學開始我已經抱持著。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqn7jVSsOM
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsc17FhYFC
即使是經歷過這種苦的白先生，也不太明白我的痛苦。他憑自己的其他優秀條件，成功找到其他類別的工作，他還「幸運地」解決了抄寫的問題，成就非凡。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdd0vGhncRy
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFIuHqJMYZ
一將功成，萬骨枯。有多少同病相連的畢業生被這個病折騰得死來活去，迷失在時間的洪流之中？難道失敗者會站出來分享失敗的經驗嗎？從來只有成功者有資格搞分享會，讓所有人看成功者美輪美奐的一面。於我而言，我覺得失敗者也值得搞自己的分享會，前車之轍，可以借鑒，但是世界價值觀否定了我的想法，我一直找不到經驗分享，不論是生活周遭，還是越洋到世界彼端的網絡世界。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWSSY7qd3R
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPJEHkiNxL
「…」我好像有甚麼難言之隱似的，純粹低下頭。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡioDJukO0iv
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIm6zXbSEz
「有甚麼事想要做嗎？」老爸說。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2OWhU1uI8
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSxeuBmMkF
我微微點頭。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcH6PNgO8eK
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQO2aLnDkd
「是不是那個...甚麼病？」老爸問。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdwwCUvbm1
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv01rged9CO
原來老爸還記得我有這個問題。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnowhVLbE4q
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtls3ZHl7IL
我又微微點頭。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Jn5KqGxB8
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkRHMTC8cI
「你爸我，還有你媽，唸書真的不多，不知道你發生了甚麼事，但是人的時間是有限的，你看我和你媽，臉上皺紋跟頭髮一樣多，不要留下後悔啊。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4LrQr4QOX
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLbCKUcTWc
不要留下後悔…369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOYpPZlegS
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNqWM8mR0e
其實我現在做的事就是為了不留下後悔，但好像在製造另一個後悔…我開始搞不清了。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaAwScfEuu
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggV8044UXK
「聊別的吧。光快要結婚了，他有跟你聊過甚麼嗎？」老爸轉話題。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJYpxsXmRR
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNouvmHaAs
「沒有。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPkCXYv5xQ
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxJ6xT2Mgh
這幾年我不斷向光哥搭話，他總是一句起，兩句止的回答，他怎會主動跟我說甚麼。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnuA6dcuoj
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZD6ziHyE3C
「甚麼？竟然沒有？兩星期後就是光的婚禮了。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3t1MUMIyR
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYu0yt6VPzD
「甚麼時候安排的？我完全不知道啊。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgI83Cz9JU
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dQMlYqykY
我只知道光哥跟一個叫歐陽家琪的女孩交往了幾年，她不時在我們家吃飯，感情穩定，就只是這樣。我真不知道婚期。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBJHJV2vSr
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9lml7Ikhj
「光打算儀式簡單一點，把錢省下來。早上註冊簽文件，下午到雙方的家敬茶，晚上在茶樓擺幾圍，儀式就當完成了。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfgTZuWhpA
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXLt8JKjfF
「沒有禮服之類的嗎？」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFy2CpZTIF
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRARKTV197
「沒有，光主張一切從簡，他打算穿運動裝而已。」老爸難掩萬分恩惠心情地說。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1N3fLrpdL
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uCrWD2LlT
穿運動裝結婚…369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPNz1r5L2K
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOmEt45GWr
「即是說我們不用刻意打扮？」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5PAEZ6xOnR
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgbMWrSPKt
「我想是吧，我跟你媽打算穿得像逛街一樣而已，不然比主角更好看又有點奇怪。」老爸笑著說。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nGt9Qc8qV
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbq383mfNsB
「那天我有甚麼可以幫忙嗎？」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZSGSIzvyZ
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvcZfrgLG1
「嗯…暫時沒有。你那天早點起床，給一天光吧？補習可以調動一下時間嗎？」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFzvQpPC7T
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSJoQ24Cvc
「好的。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0s0kYiLZ7W
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOKDPh4gX2
「還有，光說你不用買甚麼給他了，不用花這個錢。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84qt2x5iiP
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2hnM1YeGc
「…」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeeSDXh1ApR
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa8qz9f3RRX
買結婚禮物的話，獨力選一份禮物，少說也要二千多塊，精美一點或者挑戒指可能要三千，可能光哥考慮到我的經濟狀況吧。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMlYX7fkG8
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwAqCP7xCS
「杜家終於有媳婦了，光真的混得不錯。」老爸的臉洋溢著幸福，老懷安慰般。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCt4blOb4e
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqeJumBij7
光哥中學成績太爛，沒有繼續唸書，早早踏入社會，卻因為找到自己前路去向，早早啟程出發、在社會混，混得理想；反觀自己…也是混社會，卻是「胡混」的「混」，事業還沒有起步。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bI92tX3qB
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ78vOn4Kpw
「其實你爸我…雖然今天只有自己一個人吃飯，但是相當高興，因為你們都有自己的事業︰你媽要工作，你也要工作，光除了工作還要陪女朋友，能有這個家庭，我非常高興。現在我最擔心的是你啊，程。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fXAh5hgi8
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDbsb5duzY
「…」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyom8AB15di
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Aljbn6yFj
「可以的話，我真想你帶一個人上來吃飯，能倒茶給我喝就最好了。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYC4hg8k9I
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSg85LtFkP7
我就知道這個話題今天一定躲不了…你要喝茶是嗎？我倒給你，你要多少杯？369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTb9alakRSa
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt83guMqiGD
「程啊。」老爸抓起我的手。「要學會為自己打算啊，人會老的。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJ67E0Bil9
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GU8NrV0hF
…369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXTqbd5TEz
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wFAxiiqvJ
「嗯…嗯。」我只哼出一聲，表情苦澀，心裡被揪住似的。「呼…」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQuOX4UOU8
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡin2m4XIiX3
速度…到今天還沒有結果…369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCREefBA0M
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLG9Uk2ebLz
「肚子真的不餓嗎？」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoY5zs4j4ri
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMr7rY83V8U
「嗯。」我哼聲。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7U8oNXiuB
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mDIQd9LBt
「好吧，聊了很久，那麼不阻你了。」老爸說畢，蹣跚地回到房間休息了。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtGUf2c6zl
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0G7uj2UuN
為何一個病人，即使被評為「永久失去工作能力」，拼死擠出半點力量，成就出不可能；而身為健全人士的我，卻甚麼也做不到…369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSQqlKPE8Q
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvMjynx5eo7
「為甚麼？」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuelDd64eA
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTnwnUxzqa
為甚麼…369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1RjLs80pg
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrik5f0kxyq
我不想再停留在這個階段啊，那麼接下來的路，要怎樣走？369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUBPqb02z4
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcpzLimJuj
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7raaOehXEw
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SXA8mLl07
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK47iXMPNoz
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6bZoH5Jdh
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7DvXjYfGM
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcR6vYerEQ
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb37jSWDSxY
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