幾天又過去了,Joe沒有找我,我只好在討論區中找個話題分享給他,標題為「覺唔覺得人大左好寂寞?」,我覺得這個貼文好像在講我。395Please respect copyright.PENANAVNPX85xJdn
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Joe再次秒回:「呢個世界就係咁,冇辦法啦。」395Please respect copyright.PENANAuIZzcCKfpS
「唯有去玩下飛鏢、搵人傾下計,派下source,當個人忙啲,就好似冇咁無聊。」395Please respect copyright.PENANA83T5UKwzzw
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「真係咩?玩完翻到屋企對住四面牆都係會悶。」我問395Please respect copyright.PENANAZmzOAvCg7j
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「或者,我唔想睇落好似毒L,好似呢個城市嘅異類。395Please respect copyright.PENANAvF7PSdrll7
「你明唔明白?」395Please respect copyright.PENANAKwYZbthkWe
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「唔,我明嘅。」395Please respect copyright.PENANAVbdSilIJhQ
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其實,我不明白。因為我甘願當這個城市的異類。395Please respect copyright.PENANA5x3TIkGab4
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每一次,我發訊息給Joe,就好像他在我身邊陪著我。他回覆我的信息,我覺得很高興,很雀躍。當他告訴我,他身邊的朋友、他身邊的點點滴滴,我好像跟他在共同經歷一些事情。每一次收到他的訊息,總會不自覺心動,然後急不及待回覆。偶爾我會為了打開話題,亂發一些討論區的貼文。395Please respect copyright.PENANAbevyul3v5S
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然而,今天我忽然發現打開話題的大多都是我。395Please respect copyright.PENANAMDuZT3oDf1
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我想知道,在他的心中,到底有沒有我?我不知道,我是不是煩著他。或許,只是有人湊巧經過,讓我覺得可以談心。我以為他明白我的寂寞,於是不停跟他聊天。395Please respect copyright.PENANAepvcFcnzjr
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到底我在他的心中是一個怎樣的角色?還是從來我只是把他當一個解悶的樹洞,他也是這樣。不論我在不在,給不給他回應,他還是可以過得好好的。395Please respect copyright.PENANAcsFQ3aLoNr
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會不會因為我的出現,他的煩惱才出現?因為有一個人當他的聆聽者。395Please respect copyright.PENANA3dHl9Bn68C
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我還是想知道答案。395Please respect copyright.PENANAU0p3QRqgHZ
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我決定WhatsApp Cindy。395Please respect copyright.PENANALwzotGTBPy
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「Cindy,點樣先知道一個人對我有冇意思?」395Please respect copyright.PENANAE2tEVRWq1D
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「你試下唔搵佢,睇下佢幾時搵你。如果佢唔搵你,你你就明啦。」395Please respect copyright.PENANAyrf9wyUDqo
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於是,我決定不找Joe。395Please respect copyright.PENANAE9EFHDFz0S
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我想知道,他會主動來找我嗎?395Please respect copyright.PENANAknfgKSz14w
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我重新翻看我們第一次約會的WhatsApp對話:「得我地兩個咋,仲睇唔睇啊?」395Please respect copyright.PENANABO67Dh6jqM
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那是我約Joe看電影。他告訴我好多好多關於自己的事,把「秘密」告訴我,可是我開始覺得所謂的秘密,會否只是我一廂情願?395Please respect copyright.PENANAyCpOTlh2KS