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我無法原諒自己的執著
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我亦不允許自己去原諒
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—— 爱麗絲 · 鈴木 · 花子
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大和 英花 (女) 2218/9/5 -神隱島//KDUL基地遺址//G30層-中區核心醫院
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「⋯不要⋯不要掙扎了⋯可以嗎？」
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緊緊地拉著手中的繩端，我將繩結束緊，然而這也不能阻止他身體的激烈擺動
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將水無月包成肉粽般，我打算就這樣放他在此處，以不干預到自己的行動
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「是了⋯你是從哪裏拿來這些繩子的？」
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「走廊的角落」
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語畢，我把水無月這副摺成板子的身體捧起，然後像拿粽子一樣，捉住，就扯住唯一的繩端，吊起他的身體
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「他大概不會逃到出來的了」
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我說，並看了看赤羽那狂氣的雙瞳，緊皺的眉間和起紋的鼻樑，如老虎似獅子，像隻豹，但吼不出來，因為被布料塞住嘴巴，總之只不過是紙老虎，至少目前是
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「⋯你確認？」
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「確認」
「綁架勒索又不是第一次幹，此結可不是第一用」
「這個嘛，束住他的是靠人體工學，不是死力，基本上只要不是他的身體構造過於非人類，他是動不了的」
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放在櫃子裡面，我合上櫃門
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「相信老娘的技術啦」
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我走前對佐島笑語道
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「⋯嗯」
「那麼現在？」
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帶領他離開這房間，我為抱著良世的他開門，並待他出來後再閉上門
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「反鎖這房間」
「您會方法嗎？」
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「我可以⋯不過你先抱著良世——」
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「我抱著她了，你去弄吧」
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理論上像是搶過來才對，我在他還沒把話說完之前，便將良世一把從一茂懷中強硬接過來，單手抱著那嬌小的身體，我示意佐島上前
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「好⋯」
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從口袋中拿出一黑條，是髮夾，看著他把其捲成直條，然後塞進門鎖，輕輕的向左轉，感覺異常的熟練
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「是了，如果你要問我為什麼會這種事的話⋯⋯我是在花子那學回來的」
「這盒髪夾也是她的」
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拍拍褲袋，發出塑膠物碰撞聲
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「⋯好」
「那麼就⋯你先和良世回到剛剛的房間去吧，我就繼續去尋找鈴木吧」
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將良世交回對方，我如此說道
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「嗯」
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反手拾回放了在一旁的鐵板，我見佐島關上了門後才轉身，往走廊的另一端走去
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「⋯⋯」
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我手握鐵板，再往這空無一人的空間看過去，異常的安靜，從佐島閉上了門的那刻開始，我感覺不了時間的流動，不是一切停止運作了，電燈倒還是在閃爍不停，閃昏眼睛，卻叫人麻木，叫人觸感上的習慣了，認為一切貌似本應如此的存在，逐漸忘卻時間的存在
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我們在這裏待了多久？
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足足是一天二十六小時？
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還是三天？
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抑或是⋯⋯更多？
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儘管我嘗試估計現在是什麼日子什麼時間，但在這終不見天日的地方，我無法正常地擁有「時間」的觀念，別說判斷此刻是上午下午、凌晨黃昏了，此刻就連叫我算出一分鐘的時間，我也不敢保證有沒有算快了或慢了
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「⋯」
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「快點離開這裏吧」，我純粹如此想著，一心一意只希望離開這破地方
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是了，怎麼好像⋯自己從某些時候開始，便有這種⋯「包在我身上吧」的要當帶領的感覺⋯
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不是說以前並沒有，作為不良分子和黑道組老大，基本上以往中也是說義氣的，不留下任何人，共同進退的⋯只不過⋯嘖⋯怎麼說⋯⋯
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指的是⋯對這班人⋯
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鹿波、佐島、新井、鈴木⋯⋯這羣一同被帶來的傢伙
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不只是因為和新井是乾姐妹，不只是局限親朋戚友層面；不只是因為鹿波協助過自己逃過警察，不只是單純的恩情
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這更像是⋯無形之間的凝聚力⋯
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難道我們在以前見過面？不，我相信自己的記憶
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還是⋯在過去幾天所發生的事情⋯？
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『赤丸、奧窩洗腦、清除記憶的方法不是直接抹走其存在，而是隱藏它，令到記憶不能以一般方法回想起來，所以事實上只要仔細尋找有沒有遺失的記憶空隙，然後再回想那破洞，便能解鎖其片段』
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佐島不久之前對我這樣說過
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自己已經能夠回想起這數天所發生的所有，我知道自己過去做了什麼事情，糟糕且令人討厭的事情，然而，即使知道自己幹了什麼又如何，我改變不了過去自己所犯下的錯
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因為一己之心，因為我的弱小、霸道，我傷害了大家
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我在過去排斥水無月，欺壓高尾，故意傷害鈴木，就為了什麼？滿足我的安全感？
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「⋯」
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想到此處時，不知不覺中，我已經走到走廊的轉角處，站在此段的盡頭，我遙望左方的走廊
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感覺上好像較明亮，但還是看不見盡頭，不是因長度影響，而是那團不知如何出現的水氣，整個走廊亦為水氣之中，濃霧籠罩之下，不用想其他原因，我只知道一接近濃霧，便將會面對叫人討厭的事情
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「爱麗絲」⋯⋯
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製造人們的噩夢，然後捕食他們
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鈴木⋯
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對不起⋯⋯
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緊握手中的鐵板，我步進其中
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理性究竟是指什麼？
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客觀中立性審判？
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思考因果關係？
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不
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理性是區別我們與其他生物之界
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而理性本身便是指自制能力，制止被欲望驅使的能力
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「理性和人性為分開兩回事」
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人性？
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道德？
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只不過是所謂的社教化概念
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「但人仍然是動物」
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沒有錯⋯擺脫理性，人仍是感性生物⋯
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所以說⋯您⋯⋯
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是理性的機器？還是感性的禽獸？
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喲
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不用回答的
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畢竟因為沒有絕對的理性或感性
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有缺陷的人類
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才如此醜惡之如又愚蠢啊
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大和 英花 (女) 2218/9/5 -神隱島//KDUL基地遺址//G30層-中區核心醫院
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「⋯」
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伸手不見五指，雖然是有光，勉強能清楚看清方向，但視野之內灰白的水霧，模模糊糊的感覺好像要吞拼自己
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「⋯⋯」
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向前走，我繼續於這片迷濛中步行至前
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「⋯」
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視線範圍逐漸清晰，貌似是因為自己終於通過了那濃霧
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「？」
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然而納入視覺中，我所看到的第一個場景，是草地，不，是山地，不，是森林
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「怎麼⋯？」
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轉身，回望過去我走來的方向，沒有了左右兩邊的牆，沒有位於頭頂上方，閃著的電燈，沒有走廊的存在，除了草地，還有兩旁密集的樹，儘管可讓我行走的草花範圍很廣，但在看不見樹海後方的天空，如此前題下，反而叫人更為不安，毫無安全感
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還有，我好像認得出這地方
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「冷靜⋯呼⋯」
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握緊手中僅存的現實，我姑且將其當作那把狼牙棒
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『最大的噩夢』⋯？
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對我而言的話⋯這個⋯⋯如果真的是那個的話⋯
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莫說是最大了，它連大也不是
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因為它就是我解譯「煉獄」的定義詞啊⋯
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「⋯」
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振作點，該死的，打起精神來，該死⋯
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英花⋯莉莉花⋯
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這已經過去了⋯妳已經克服了⋯現在⋯沒有任何事情能傷害到妳的
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對，沒有任何事情
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現在⋯深呼吸⋯⋯
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「哈⋯⋯」
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「⋯⋯呼」
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好了，沒問題的
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「呼⋯」
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深呼吸後，我抬頭，把鐵板放在肩上，緩步走前
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『要擺脫夢境迷惑，你要在爱麗絲自殺或消失前把所有虛偽的東西殺死』
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是嗎？
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「⋯」
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走到樹海走廊的末端，前方是一片大草原，以及隱若中可現的建築物
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我記憶中也有那棟廢醫院
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四層，半框U型建築設計，屏風樓那種
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「⋯」
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沒有事的
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沒有事的
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不會有⋯
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「⋯嗯？」
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感覺不屬於此處的顏色出現在眼前，視野範圍內的下方部分，是白色，純潔的漂豔吸引我的注意，我低頭俯視草地，只見腳前有數朵白色，在我感覺不到的風下擺動，或許它是有它自己生命的，真的是的話也不出奇，這可是一個夢而已
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「⋯百合花」
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六瓣、黃芯，忽然花朵搖了搖，純白的它在對自己揮手一樣，伴隨一陣清新的香氣，整個人都放鬆下來
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「⋯」
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這棵⋯真像姐姐房間純白的那盆呢⋯
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話說央百花(おもか)和莉莉花(りりか)也是沿自百合花而生的名字呢⋯
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究竟⋯為什麼是百合花呢？
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⋯算吧，花語什麼的我可不認識，不過我倒也喜歡百合，純粹因為那不刺鼻的香味和其美貌，樸素，卻深深吸引我
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「⋯」
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伸手，我輕摸其花瓣
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—— 不要啊 ——
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「欸？」
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—— 住手 ——
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是花朵發出的聲音，尖小的聲音微弱地呼救著，是擠聲音的那種無力，當中又帶幾分哭腔，表現得可憐，叫人心碎，然而衝擊自己的不只是其哀號，我發現自己認得出其聲線主人的瞬間，我感到雙腳一軟
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—— 碰 ——
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「啊⋯」
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—— 我不要啊！ ——
—— 停下來！！ ——
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這⋯
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—— 不要 ——
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這是⋯姐姐的聲音
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姐姐小時候的聲音
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「嗚啊⋯」
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目睹這朵白色的百合，先是花瓣逐漸的萎縮，然後是黃芯的掉落，還有下垂之如又出現皺紋的花瓣，從花芯中央逐漸延伸向外的紅色，擴散出去，污染白色的存在
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—— 不要 ——
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—— 好痛好痛喔 ——
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—— 求你了，停下來 ——
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—— 嗚哇啊 ——
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「不要⋯」
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紅色蔓延至全朵，百合花不應溺於紅色之中，清純不能被傷害，因為傷痕是一輩子的，癒合不了
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「不要⋯嗚啊⋯」
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看著百合花開始滴出紅色之液，我的眼淚亦一同流下，我害怕，但又不知道該如何面對這狀況，問我怎麼辦，有什麼方法，我可不知道
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我好怕
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—— 不要 ——
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—— 誰也好，救救我 ——
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—— 啊 ——
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先是數片花瓣落下，整顆花朵從枝上掉下來，落入地上的血泊中，它在慘叫中化成黑灰，融進泥土的紅色中
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隨著變異的花朵落下，那斷枝亦逐漸轉成赤色，不只這樣，其他花朵也是
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染成鮮紅，溢出血液，發出尖叫，花瓣墮下，她們也是同樣的下場
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—— 救我 ——
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—— 不要 ——
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—— 快救我 ——
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『鳴哇！不要啊！！求你放過我吧！』
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『停下來！我不喜歡這樣！！』
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『媽媽！！姐姐！！快來救我！！』
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很快地，便餘下唯一一朵白色，其他一切則是鮮紅以及死亡
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—— 救我 ——
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只見白色的花朵發出如此聲音的同時，震抖著
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「⋯我要保護她⋯⋯」
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從枝部折下，我把純白的百合花放在手心中
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「沒事的了⋯」
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「沒事的了⋯嗚⋯⋯我們不會有事的⋯嗚⋯」
「咿嗚啊⋯姐姐⋯我該怎麼辦啊⋯」
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放近胸前，眼淚流不停，能令我好過一點的，只有我手中這朵百合
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「把她交給我」
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「啊？」
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張開眼睛，我只見一朵紅玫瑰，巨大的紅玫瑰立在前方，莖刺異常地尖，玫瑰花的顏色亦異常地紅，這豔紅使它不是漂亮，而是恐怖起來
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熟悉的女聲，叫人討厭
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「不要做無謂的掙扎了」
「交出來」
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玫瑰花彎腰，把頭探過來
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「交出來」
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「⋯⋯不要」
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「什麼？」
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「不要⋯」
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「呵呵，真是可愛，你以為自己可以選擇嗎？」
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背脊發涼，我往後看，看來自己被玫瑰花的莖刺包圍了
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「⋯⋯」
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404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN31ixtueMV
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ94qEyDQ0x
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUTYn7bZfk
『不要碰我的妹妹！』
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『我不會讓你們傷害她的⋯』
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姐姐，我該怎麼辦？
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「怎麼了？你要交出來嗎？」
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「⋯」
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將百合花放在胸前的口袋，我低著頭唸道
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「誓死不屈」
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拿起旁邊的鐵板，我箭步上前
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一下、兩下、三下、四下⋯
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『姐姐！停下來！你要殺死她了！！』
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『這種人⋯
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死了也沒有所謂啊！！！」
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我對花瓣大力揮下去，對花托敲下去，它比起想像更要脆弱，鐵板只是一揮，玫瑰花瓣便掉下紅片，橫掃，支部便出現陷痕
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「去死吧！！」
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『⋯我討厭自己⋯為什麼保護不到自己的妹妹⋯』
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『沒關係喔⋯姐姐⋯⋯』
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『才不是⋯
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什麼叫沒關係！」
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「才不是沒有關係⋯」
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「姐姐⋯嗚⋯」
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—— 噹 ——
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鐵板從手中滑出，我望著這灘紅色，流著淚的我內心彷佛有個空洞
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「姐姐⋯嗚⋯」
「嗚哇⋯⋯」
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揉著眼，我嘗試不讓眼淚掉下來，卻做成了反效果
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「嗚⋯」
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「哈哈⋯真是可笑」
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此時，又一把聲音到來，聲音熟悉，也陌生
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「咳⋯鈴木⋯」
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趕緊抹去臉上的眼淚，我望向聲音的來源方向，只見鈴木身穿暗啞色的禮裙，是愛麗絲形象的那套衣服，裙前一塊白布，如圍裙一樣的裝扮，然而不是金髮，而是有點捲的白髮，曈孔翠綠，整個人像個玩偶般
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「想不到，黑道老大居然是個這麼依靠姐姐的人」
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語畢，她走近來，裙下的高筒襪是黑綠間
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「真是可愛呢」
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她嘲笑道
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見此，我提起了警覺
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「⋯有話便説」
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又再嘲笑，只見人偶她對自己嘆了口氣，然後拉高聲線
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「哈哈～真是出奇呢，如此程度也使不了你屈服」
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「別說笑了，你明明知道我看過什麼的」
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「嘿嘿⋯新井只不過是被強酸從內至外溶解器官啦，血肉模糊什麼的本來你是有抗性的，對吧？」
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聲音無力、不粗糙，人偶的聲音睡意重重，即使提高聲線，還是惰意十足，語氣不有威脅性，然而如此情況下，更像催眠的口吻
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「可是，我知道你有更深的記憶的」
「那麼⋯⋯
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一起去看看吧？」
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「你什麼意思——」
「⋯啊？！」
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回神過來，自己正坐在木椅上，奇怪，我不是站在草地上的嗎？
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這感覺如之前高尾消失的瞬間，無故觸感與氣氛的變動，然而身體還沒反應過來
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「你⋯⋯鈴木⋯？」
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剛剛正在驚訝，現在卻又有視覺上的變動，人偶的氣息突然消失，毫無先兆使一切莫名的詭異
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「⋯該死⋯我在那裡？」
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本來打算抓緊手中的鐵板，但發現手心空無一物，左右掃望，除了有點暗跡和裂縫之外，石地板上沒有什麼東西
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站起來的同時按了按胸口，果然，裏頭也是什麼也沒有
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「鈴木⋯你是要捉弄老娘到什麼時候⋯」
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跨過碎石，越過地上的縫隙，我向前走，走到此道路，這段走廊的盡頭，同是另一段走廊的開端，是一個走廊的轉角
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回到轉角位置，走廊的轉角位置
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「怎麼⋯」
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心感不妙的我倒抽一口氣，把腳步距離減少，同時亦放緩步速，我依著牆壁慢慢往左轉
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轉左，前方是一段看得到底的長廊
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沒有濃霧，沒有草地，沒有花朵和樹，就純粹是殘舊的走廊，石壁石地板石天花，左邊的牆壁有一扇大門，位於走廊最末端
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「⋯這裡是⋯」
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心臟又再鼓動，我的手也開始在震抖
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拜託，不要這樣吧⋯
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直到現在，我還無法確定自己是否真的有能力去看回這件陳年往事，這件困擾我一生的噩夢
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「⋯」
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但即使在憂慮，我仍然選擇走近
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畢竟這是我唯一的出路
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我必須面對
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404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZryuUURBL
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MxTeCWePi
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlyUrB7kJ7
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyCuMUs30D
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClrBK6gRxQ
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「⋯⋯」
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404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXx0Yiz3v8M
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「⋯⋯」
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404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdeSiUX9NE5
「⋯⋯啊⋯？」
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越是走向走廊的盡頭，空氣便越來越冷，雖然知道這是夢，我也無法忍受如此壓迫感，更別說我好像出現幻覺了
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這裡⋯應該只有一對腳步聲的吧？
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幻覺、幻覺、幻覺⋯不要自己嚇自己
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「⋯」
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熾熱感在這裏，我的心中開始蔓延，燃燒著什麼，顯得身外環境格外的寒冷，令我顫抖，不過其實我知道，心臟如此強烈跳動的原因並非簡單，靠近恐懼的焦慮感彷佛成為了生物，跟隨自己背後
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「⋯」
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不對，是真的有東西在自己背後
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焦慮叫我眼淚再次溢出
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不要⋯不要⋯⋯
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「嗚⋯」
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加快腳步，我想儘快到達目的地，仍然後方的氣息也逐漸增強，再度加快腳步，氣息的腳步聲也加快，與自己的融合為一，它正在追我
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「不要啊！！」
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我跑起來，慌張之中腳步凌亂，差點跌倒的感覺
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「不要啊⋯不要啊⋯」
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焦慮的感覺襲上心頭來，我感覺到視野的模糊，思維的混亂，身體的疲累，異常的無力感
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嗚哇，我不要！
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—— 啪次 ——
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「⋯嗚哇啊？！！！」
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左腿落入高一階的地板，踏下去的頓時我便知道不妙了，被東西牽拖著是其次，真正的要害處是那激烈的痛楚，刺入內肉的痺麻感令眼淚隨即奪框而出，左腿立馬成為一個負重，動不了左腿的自己便失去重心，倒在地上
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「嗚啊嗚哇咿呀⋯」
「好痛哦⋯嗚⋯⋯」
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腦袋的一角沉重下來，痛楚叫自己腦昏，我無法移動左腳，站立不能，趴在地上，看著巨大的黑影將自己吞蝕，心臟跳動得似要破裂
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「⋯這⋯這⋯⋯」
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這根本不是夢⋯
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明明就是記憶而已⋯⋯
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這不是橡皮筋啊⋯
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「不要啊⋯」
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我大力用指頭抓緊地板，右腳撐著地，爬行向前，但是左腳的負擔還是抵消不了
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「⋯」
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不⋯不要和它交上視線
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不要⋯和它⋯⋯
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404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6ypcNpgZo
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VHAIb0YA8
⋯⋯交上視線⋯⋯
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404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HOmbGJjAq
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cKE2EdGFR
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1vLestLEv
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轉身，躺在地上的瞬間，我已經與其純黃色的曈孔交上
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「不⋯不要⋯⋯」
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赤裸的下身，雙腳、雙手也可見，更別提那叫人害怕的身體部分
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起疹的皮膚，粗糙肌膚
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純黃色的眼睛，它沒有曈孔，身體上部分有許多觸手的物體，伸出，向自己伸來
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「啊⋯」
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『你逃那啊？！』
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「——嗚啊！」
「放開我！！」
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觸手將自己包住，然後微微帶離地面，拿起，放近向它那對黃色的眼睛
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「放⋯放開我⋯⋯」
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不行⋯逃不了出去⋯
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「嗚啊⋯不要⋯不要⋯⋯」
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如此近距離，我嗅聞到它散發著的腥臭及銅臭氣
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404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscbsoMKRoS
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8Na4BepcW
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZY67ygzJk0
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjR3mIWPryB
『真是調皮呢』
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『都叫你不要亂跑嘛⋯』
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『看看你，現在左腿可廢了，不是嗎？』
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『不過沒關係⋯回去，我便幫你切掉這腿就可以了』
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『順便，莉莉花，對吧？』
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『讓你「放鬆」一下吧？』
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404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmk1MKxm7QS
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1UiYWuD6r
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQaxPwWXfHL
不要⋯⋯
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404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bcX86IIpR
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CCX7fCvXr
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkt8rAyHBA
我不要⋯
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404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMVY9nl6vD
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0WgmfhF1b
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggjl5V5FFY
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6oVbmDIid
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5Gn1GeWRy
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe391Faf44J
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwA2fYAmwoO
「我不要！！滾開！！」
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnl1caEaW2L
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzvN7Zc1Kq
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkFDyMjcGc
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUsNLbYiL5K
活動沒有被包住的手部，我大力往其黃眼出拳，命中其水汪處，怪物隨之放開了自己，我便倒在地上，往原來的方向看，我拖著受傷的腿以及捕獸夾，向只有數步之距的趟門看去
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404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnklwQGQLRP
「嗚啊⋯」
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管它痛不痛⋯
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我使用蠻力向前走
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「不要啊⋯」
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被捉到便完了⋯不要⋯
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404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BMC8kGLet
『莉莉花！！你不要跑！！』
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去你的！臭男人！
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「啊！」
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyAGFHg0Tq
痛楚中還是死力拉開門，我拉著沉重的左腿躍進去，然後大力關上門
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推住門，我抵抗，掙扎
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躲在櫃中的我走頭無路
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『快點開門！莉莉花！！』
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClr5Lgfr8c
『我生氣了喔！！』
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9EtYY3UlJq
『莉莉花！！』
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqYeixplZ4
『開門啊！丫頭！！我殺死你！！！』
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBJUNTAmFR
『莉莉花！』
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404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJ3gv21jG2
大力與門的另一則角力，我看著門縫始終合不上，無助得很，理論上，我確是不能長久對抗
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怎麼辦？
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「嗚哇⋯不⋯不要啊⋯」
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rIun8S3tN
『快開門！死丫頭！這次我不把你的腸子弄出來的話我可不罷休！』
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRSpIPjKFN
「不要啊⋯」
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfb6GakSiyS
怎麼辦？！
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgmeBCVmXF
如果這時候有——
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqKW04rcXR
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtC7I4F2itY
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzefP4f8Cf1
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6l8TxtdRZ
棒球棍⋯
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404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iW388ORcx
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmS3gFfhnCE
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshuCG63OoO
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWYBaPAG0E
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRshgTEa57
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0HMEmb5sLy
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfepHv18jK
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBJZFDXuKD
『放棄掙扎吧！小母豬！』
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbBpBgPPPw
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDX6S5i26O
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQPJ36kTyB
—— 碰 ——
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugpjlSgSCo
—— 噹 ——
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGut4NiBK4
—— 哄 ——
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZrm5mV9U6t
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHBLpsYrNO
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVpdYqIdBs
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1MJCVZLvC
—— 啪 ——
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVTqLRuHSJ
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpB1oLIpAqE
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8krc21b8gx
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyK7Wr3F2ea
「⋯」
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—— 咻咯 ——
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合上門，我把沾血的球棒丟到一邊去
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跪下，我抱腿
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404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPdNFfT88c
「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯」
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllIRLrd43M
「姐姐⋯我好怕⋯快來救我⋯」
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJs858ZZ4Es
顫抖的身體，我眼淚直下，坐著的地方，屁股該處，我感到有濕意，是因為外方流入的液體
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88xquJkqU3
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIFz2KbUbf
這不是夢⋯
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iYDB15l47
「嗚⋯」
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKnMJXUFJu
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhokivmtRLP
「嗚咽⋯」
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qeZz5S3p4
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6BL8jb51f
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwB8yopIGAN
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzk2wW2q4DB
「咻⋯啊⋯唔⋯」
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQGLcsNEpI
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUutT6EjsK4
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqgyOtf44p
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFk0Dsdj5r
「嗯⋯咳⋯」
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqaJVdryBv4
再次感受到氣氛的轉變，我抬頭，只見人偶在自己前方，並剛好在自己視野中
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QzNgEZ6Yi
眼神輕俘，嘴角偏向下，鈴木擺出無趣的表情
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsExhkAUHe
「切」
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH29KXAeC1q
她發出不屑的聲音
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重振呼吸，我再抹眼淚，但感到眼下的皮膚紅腫，叫我住手，任由其流動
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ijR1IdOip
「⋯咳⋯怎麼了？」
「你要玩弄我到什麼時候？」
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gaWuaHqtZ
站起，我邊整理著思緖邊說
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只見人偶更為縮起眼晴，咬住指甲，她好像對自己很不滿意，但原因的話，我倒是不清楚
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBynOKIiTyd
「⋯想不到呢⋯」
「還能保持理性⋯」
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沒有了上次說話的嘲笑口吻，倒是和印象中的鈴木一樣，無力卻有感情
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「你真是難搞⋯」
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「快放我出去」
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfk6aOiTt4z
「⋯知道嗎？」
「本來我打算像水無月一樣催眠你⋯可是呢」
「我放棄了」
「我欣賞你的堅持」
「我也無謂殺了你」
「所以⋯⋯
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hvDeCOLdH
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJvyYrtnHG
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVX7vgoadeu
直接給我沉睡在這份痛苦中吧，婊子」
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「現在，我便去殺死那兩人」
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEaGB9bE6St
「鈴木！等等！你——」
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmKH9cJisC
可是人偶已經在我能伸手之前消失
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「⋯鈴木你⋯⋯」
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⋯⋯
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所以，我現在該如何逃離此處呢？
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「⋯」
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「⋯⋯姐姐？」
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「⋯莉莉花⋯」
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⋯⋯
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這份記憶⋯只不過是同一份嘛⋯
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我最不想回憶的各種
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「姐姐⋯」
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短髮的女生，那時她經常穿著這套白衫加粉短裙，然後加安全褲和長白襪，即使是那天，被捉走的那天，她也是如此打扮
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可是不應發生的，也發生了，我還能改變什麼？
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「沒有事的，莉莉花⋯」
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「很快便完結的了⋯忍耐一下⋯⋯嗚⋯」
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一直以來，姐姐也為此事而自愧自疚
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事實上，我亦對此記憶一直盡可能的不理會
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可是，真的有用嗎？
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被污辱的事實是不會改變的⋯所以⋯⋯
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我不要再忍受了
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夠了
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我受夠了！
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我是大和氏家族啊！沒有骨氣的我⋯算什麼？
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「姐姐⋯」
「一起逃離吧」
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「欸？」
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當初也是我如此提出的
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所以⋯現在的我⋯⋯
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為什麼能沒有勇氣去面對呢？
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拿起棒球棍，和那天一樣，我大力揮往男人的後腦勺
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重演當天的戲劇
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————————————————————————————————————————
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痛苦，對你而言有什麼用？
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理性，又是否如此重要？
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404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixMkn0b95r
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鈴木 花子 2218/9/5 -神隱島//KDUL基地遺址//G30層-中區核心醫院
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張開雙眼，只見自己正坐在走廊上
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「⋯⋯」
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我有做錯嗎？
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看著自己純白的肌膚，看著這把白髪，我感到茫然
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為什麼要把噩夢降臨於人？
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我一直以來殺死的宿主⋯真的應該死嗎？
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『只是殺死犯罪的宿主⋯』
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擁有讀取别人記憶能力的我，不是如此地追求嗎？
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這⋯
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不⋯⋯
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不
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我必須堅持
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「⋯⋯」
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宿主本來就是邪惡⋯
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對吧？
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「沒錯的，對吧？」
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自言自語道說，我感到鼻子在酸，仍然淚水無法分泌，因為如此狀態，正捕獵的爱麗絲是不以肉體行動的，為不受傷、能自由改變身體大小而轉成人偶，人偶是沒有淚腺，也沒有胃部，器官，所以剛剛看到那些時，我吐不出，更別說自己氣息本來就是薄弱，即使看著大和，她也發現不到我
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⋯⋯哈哈⋯⋯
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可是怎知道⋯原來她是受害者⋯⋯
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她不是十惡不赦⋯
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她有她的親人，要保護的人
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更別說她本身深存於內的自責了⋯⋯
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更別提⋯她跟本沒有販毒過⋯⋯
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頂多⋯
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只是綁架欺凌者⋯
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頂多⋯⋯
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也是一些伸張公義的行為
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怎麼⋯⋯
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只是人格？
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等等⋯這樣⋯⋯我怎麼下得手？！
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我⋯⋯
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不行⋯⋯我⋯
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誰管他⋯⋯
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我⋯
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這是我一定要做的事情⋯我的使命
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一個是食屍鬼，一個是魅魔
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我現在要做的是殺了他們⋯是⋯我要⋯⋯
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我要⋯⋯
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「殺死他們⋯？」
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可是為什麼？
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為什麼會這樣⋯
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為什麼世界⋯這麼的⋯混雜
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黑白不明的呢⋯⋯
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吶⋯為什麼⋯⋯？
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我不明白⋯⋯
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「鈴木」
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「⋯是誰？！」
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沒有做回頭的預兆，不，抑或是說我根本沒有想過會這樣，有人會叫住自己，因而我轉身的頓時差點跌倒
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站穩，我看向前方，那個人
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「⋯大和？！」
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等等⋯我⋯⋯
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「你不是困了在你的夢中嗎？！」
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指著她，我因驚訝而大叫，但也因害怕而退後
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「⋯鈴木⋯⋯」
「你可以困住我，但你不能使我屈服」
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女子逐漸走近
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「真正在夢中的⋯是你才對」
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「你什麼意思？！」
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「我才問你什麼意思？！」
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出乎意料地，大和忽然對自己大喊，我便受其驚嚇，慌亂中絆倒了自己
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「⋯不⋯不要過來⋯」
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「不要過來！要、要不我便——」
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「催眠我？」
「你以為有用嗎？」
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她繼續走近，我則是往後爬
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「⋯鈴木⋯⋯」
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「鈴木」
「夠了」
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「啊？！」
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她走前，衝上來，一把抓了自己，然後扯住衣領拉起自己
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「大和⋯對不起⋯我⋯我⋯」
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「對不起」
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「什麼⋯？」
「呀⋯」
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然而此瞬間，她放開了手，我再次感受到地面
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「對不起⋯」
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「⋯⋯為什麼？」
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「你是對的⋯我確是很軟弱，經常欺壓他人」
「我不應以自己的標準去衡量別人」
「對不起，鈴木」
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「⋯⋯我⋯」
「不⋯我、我！」
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「大和！從我身上⋯滾開！！」
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我推開了她
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「⋯⋯我⋯你為什麼要這樣！」
「你是要我親手解決你嗎？！」
「⋯為什麼⋯⋯大和⋯」
「你這混帳⋯⋯」
「不要⋯不要讓我⋯嗚⋯」
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「鈴木⋯若是妳要殺死我，我不介意」
「我確是有罪」
「我是個黑道」
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「⋯不，你不是⋯」
「你有你的原因」
「我反而才是錯的那個⋯」
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「怎麼？」
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「我無權決定任何人的生死⋯」
「要是他們選擇悔改呢？」
「我現在才發現⋯這世上沒有絕對的事⋯」
「你是宿主又怎樣？」
「你造成最大的傷害是為自己、自己所愛的人殺死不義」
「你失去理性的方式⋯我做不到⋯」
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「你是發瘋中求生」
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「我呢？」
「我只是在屠殺」
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「我從來不渴望這個能力⋯大和⋯知道嗎？你能理解嗎？」
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「我只是⋯厭倦⋯看著不義傷害自己愛的人⋯然後自己卻愛莫能助⋯」
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「這不很予盾嗎？我殺死的人⋯難道真的全部很錯嗎？」
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「我討厭自己⋯身為宿主⋯」
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「怎麼辦才好？」
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「我不想這樣⋯大和⋯我不想⋯⋯」
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抱著臉，我是在哭，但這軀體哭不出眼淚來
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「鈴木」
「沒有事的⋯」
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「才不是⋯我⋯我是一個罪人⋯」
「拜託⋯⋯殺死我⋯嗚呼哇⋯」
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「不，鈴木，鈴木」
「看著我，鈴木」
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抬頭，我看向那堅定的眼神
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「每個人也有他們堅持的理由」
「這是沒有所謂的正確觀念」
「不過只要你還有理性的話⋯改變吧」
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404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bPiei8mkg
「收手吧，鈴木」
「你沒有錯的」
「原諒自己吧⋯」
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404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmPX5qM75u
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zz3NOGlEr
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaB6tbm1T1C
「大和⋯」
「嗚哇啊⋯嗚⋯⋯為什麼⋯⋯」
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404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4ySNebVRd
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYOK5T6gXq
「沒事的」
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404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDgO90y38k
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgvwa7NUfi
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404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoIzA40zJgl
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「畢竟並沒有什麼黑白分明的事情是存在於世上的」
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您所堅持的理由，是對的嗎？
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