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第二章 —— 粉碎心靈而行
EP 1
知性逆襲
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是否忘記了初衷439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ImHyUSeKg
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有一件事，她從來不理解，照其個性，那怕重來也不明白，為什麼、如何、怎樣地，質疑事實，儘管已經繞之而轉一輩子了，每一角落、真相的碎片亦熟知439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuaAhSDgbS
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還沒有學會「接受」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5SvrIejOq
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接受現實439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfxVije68n
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因為認為是屈服439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfD7dC2BwEY
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感覺好像自己在投降439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqvliQRopa
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放棄一切439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqNGHJFXVR
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追求完美至上，而不允許錯439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYuKvl8DSx
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如其之出生，尤像生活，所聽、知，授教的439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXXvC7rfdA
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認為是這樣子的狂妄439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvz8r5EeLq
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無他439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9vVuw6KLUH
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說是愚痴也不過份439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJSGKzlVhW
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只是她不相信439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkMDzaBaK1
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懷疑439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73StqgSk5R
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她⋯⋯439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7EWZlzspj
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「⋯⋯」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eA5Yos9e3
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由一開始，女孩的這種個性就已經總結了此下場，這並不為因果關係，純粹因這個下場的發生堪於必然，而是狀況的現象化，星星的模樣，是因為太遙遠才是唯美而存，近看，以生命來燃燒的想法，無比嚇人439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmqA6yfm2Y
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單單是想像也有夠不安439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsd7Yxb7ZYM
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儘管此刻的自己也如看鏡面一樣，對此狀況不只是目擊證人，近是案內者，經歷者439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMpK2SspbQ
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但若論為什麼會對其驚訝439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOB7Mhz0XGc
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唯一句439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFSka5Q9S3V
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當局者迷，旁觀者清439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZfdXhM9Jn
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當初，我也不曾察覺其他的事情，只為信仰而活的自己，追求理想的結局，拋棄所有的我439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5NxOjexgA
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根本不在意自己的身體點燃上星似熊烈439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwB8YZfvXtv
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想法，是會傳染、變異、影響、控制439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVx7ZOkd0O8
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且不死，無法殺死439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnldKP6uEi
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人家已經很盡力了439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuZ6Kolas7
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我一直嘗試在抵抗這份感情439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4hEHZRY8I
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憤怒439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6sV9t3ugh
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一直以來無論多麼努力亦不能有什麼結果439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOisSchDcWy
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因為我沒有用439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50ZeDyZWax
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因為我的能力不足
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—— 咯 ——
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輕輕地扭開門把，金屬的把條縮回門鎖之中，角度的漸大，門的打開，男人就在該處站著439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSscUU2BjV
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「是的，陳熒羽⋯對嗎？」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktN3JUPBTH
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「嗯⋯嗯⋯⋯打擾了」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NUOMJaR1Q
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進入到久違的房間，和記憶同模印的擺設佈局，主色調為米色，副色白439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bjzoyyhGZ
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—— 咔 ——
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關上門，房間消音的性質方真正開始，完全隔絕外在，此處的所有聲音仍會遭吞蝕，留在這裏，只有這裏，才將自己從這個世界中抽離439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38l5jVsaIh
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沒有吵鬧聲
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餘下的，是自己腦內的聲音439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAMB73XwAL
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與其說是喜歡，說是比較、偏好才對，始終腦內的聲音，一直停不下來439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXCVZjv4qO
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討厭
討厭
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「唔⋯⋯對不起⋯上次臨急改期⋯」
「不，沒關係」
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男人走向沙發，攤開掌心，以手勢示意
「來，請坐」
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對他點頭道謝後，我往位置坐下來
「那麼⋯最近睡得還可以嗎？」
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「唔⋯嗯⋯還可以⋯⋯」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhG7uQn6wIN
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深呼吸，讓血管稍微收壓、放鬆，使心跳稍為緩下439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rg31BSuJX
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舔了舔下唇，我才繼續
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「⋯最近⋯夜驚的情況⋯有改善到」
「但還是有嗎？」
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「嗯⋯」
胸口的壓力感在說完話後消退，弄得自己好像成就了什麼大事般
「⋯這樣喔⋯沒關係，不用勉強，放鬆就可以了」
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「嗯」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNwxIMiCsJ
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⋯⋯
那對眼睛
⋯
不要一直看過來⋯⋯
不要⋯不要——
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已經無法呼吸了多久？439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDqVFyCpno
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太久了，不過至從學懂存在，便已經失去了呼吸的權利，「自由」一字的概念遙遠得不但不能觸及，甚至連想像的機會也沒有，提心吊膽地呼吸，屏住心跳，一輩子活在的地方 —— 恐懼而不和平的暗影之中439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2udKZrm8Z
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已經失眠了多久？439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOd40yVWK0
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失眠不是問題，而是衍生出來的結果，閉上眼睛仍然無法逃離，知道張開眼睛所面對的未來，毫不期待，害怕未來，受到過去而滿身傷痕，無論如何也得不到明天，好想好想那裏也不去，不前進不回去，待在原處，寧願原地踏步，寧願當個別人口中的笨蛋，討厭改變，卻439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNw6bF7w46A
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卻⋯卻⋯⋯439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdT4wHsz7a
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一點不想繼續這樣承受下去，而終究還是困在如此循環中，沒有所謂「時間」的存在，昨天即是今天，明天也去不了那去，等候自己的未來，只是幻覺439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8YCqIQQvlz
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還是說，世事可以和大家口中一樣嗎？
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由開始，已經不像任何人的前提，是可以怎叫自己活得正常，我不能、不會、不懂，現在不會，將來也是，儘管我是對這強烈不滿439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WIbz36Q0p
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但我有選擇嗎？面對種種，難道有其他方法嗎？
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每天晚上也這樣想著，徹夜未眠，哭過無數次，甚至麻木，到淚水不自覺流在臉上，同樣的床，同樣的夜空，左右被冷意包圍，呆呆無意墮入腦內439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ycTlQdeRW
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好想，一覺不醒
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即使每一次的夢也不完美，我知道自己的夢有多麼壓迫，難受苦人又使人瘋狂，但好歹是夢，醒來之後便能脫離，不似得這個現實，所在所有的破生活，根本忘不了，尤其這份痛苦，以夜以日頻頻萌生新的根，扎在過迫的心靈中439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYsEQ2w0YE
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恨不得粉碎了之，那怕會死
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死一死也蠻好嘛
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結束就好了
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—— 別開玩笑了
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人家也希望能夠快樂439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFviQUXFxQl
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可是從來沒有，是完全沒有一個這樣的機會439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbAIL7repq
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也希望被愛
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也希望被認同
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⋯⋯439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡef2AwiUd3K
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我不知足？
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⋯⋯439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kjbcXQzjH
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這世界一開始也沒有給到我們些什麼，「足夠」也是自己所定義的不是嗎？沒錯吧？！439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZeUkJfCSb
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——呀？
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嗯？439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqytYbCU9A
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又是這樣
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難得我想表達自己，鼓起勇氣，想成為別人所希望的模樣，總是在自己嘗試前攔下自己，阻擋自己到前方去，但明明是同一班人叫人家去相信，要怎樣怎樣努力，結果又只是說說而已439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51UhhQBv3W
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7DzJvKnP0j
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyKXddQHkW
我是笨了一點，呆了一點，像個白痴，直接當成傻仔也不過份，然而⋯⋯然而⋯我⋯439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4tLAkiYv9
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvF8MXPXcDw
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMoPkLLpcb
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VD5WHlOVg
我也想活下去
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3EwdGWwLj
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WFKHVm8Xm
但一而再，再而三，真正阻止我從現況中掙扎出來的，是同一人，給予假希望，當自己不足為提，尤如走狗又好，簡直為玩具，喜歡便拿來玩，不喜歡便拿出來踐踏好一番，然後沒了興趣時，就隨手一丟，棄之不理
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVk44FET08A
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdO2UUPG2e0
莫名其妙，但真的好痛，我嘗試將心比己，下場居然是遭隨意玩弄然後棄之，我躲起來哭時又在安慰我，這是什麼？
這是什麼？
我寧願自己一人好了
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4FVd9UHmm
一直以來，我的人生，完全是自力更生，因為沒有那個誰，能真正幫助到我439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhv2Hl5jyI
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsZrphPUwE
或是說，我不希望⋯439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuh3uTb4vfp
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJH74bIKP2z
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRiTchK2DMd
⋯⋯439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡer5T8V8W47
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKwJVDuren
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRy2N1UPYDR
對不起439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSdrAz8Oev
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHdLxCbh3n
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZTWIgtdO6H
我也希望自己⋯439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UsSW3sK7D
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtLjZ4PWk5
不過⋯⋯
「⋯那麼好了⋯今天就先這樣吧」
「剛剛斷藥一星期，狀況已經是有很大改善了」
「所以你真的不用那麼勉強自己」
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6rBP308wJ
「唔⋯⋯」
「既然完成了⋯那麼⋯」
男人深呼氣，站起，走近自己
「我們還有些時間」
「嗯⋯」
緊張，我吞口水下騷燥的喉嚨
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9by2WX005
男人他站在自己後面，就在沙發椅子後面，伸手按下椅旁的按鈕，讓椅背調低，另一手則是在輕輕地撥弄自己的額髮，角度之下，我能直視之俯視的顏容439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2h6kjQNVv8
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnihrdvZ5PZ
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSB9WaxHFF
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrf3XkdD08B
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3dL40Z8FO
角度最大，椅背的最低，躺在沙發上的自己在剛才過度集中精神，現時便持續精神疲勞狀態，稍有腦昏，意識模糊，但仍然，我知道接下來的發展
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIrzn1dpc4
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWpT3aKdLC
對此，心跳開始不受控制，我的呼氣聲明顯大了
「剛剛在外面的是？」
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVlaTvOR5T
「⋯哥哥」
「不再是家人以外的嗎？」
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58EELqvBzs
「⋯⋯嗯」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcnJx2x3aK
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXkoQHEbdT
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAY5LbtbDZ8
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIXKNTzuaU
男人緩緩地往自己校服裙領，衣領，膀子那邊伸手，溫柔，但快速地解開鈕扣，使頸前空間寛鬆些許
「哥哥⋯⋯會討厭哥哥嗎？平常」
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEFbYBT42z
「很少⋯」
「真的？要説真話喔」
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5XOYxbIcL
「⋯⋯」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjXQ5XS1iv
「真的」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrDeKxJv84
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYau22D7X7n
反手，迅速地拉下了背後的拉鍊
「這樣嗎？」
—— 『反正會變成怎樣，我也不在意了』 ——
托著肩，使自己稍為露出背給對方看
「⋯哎⋯不行喔⋯沒穿嗎？」
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDztcTQA8L
「今天趕著出門口便⋯」
「不行呢⋯你可要注意一下自己的身份喔」
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKl4DIpmMwc
「對不起——呀⋯」
「是我的手冷嗎？」
「還可以嘛？」
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbl23DDOTJz
「沒事⋯只是有點緊張⋯⋯」
「也不是第一次了呢，放鬆吧」
「我會盡快的」
除下上面的部份，完全露出後背來
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72esL5takl
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0gRNdV9tz
沒有直接看，觸感因而格外特出
「不看過來嗎？」
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNaVg5d7T8N
「⋯⋯不用了⋯」
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDov5a40j5
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCuYDaNf3j
世界內完全隔絕其中的空間，我的呼吸才叫無比格外突出的存在
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Rk3hxvptQ
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYh4x7cYOU
冰冷的手撫在這副體溫比常人高個1-2攝氏(C)度，對比之下任何東西才更為清晰，尤其一對一之下，我方才明白自己的真正
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbUKlURmUf
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcwYlht6av
從背縫伸入裙中，撫著背脊，繼續下去
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMm9OHlGjA
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ZkplR0vQM
往那兒去
「啊，醫生⋯那、那個⋯」
突然地動了動，使男人的動作暫停了半頓439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidhiL3WaUh
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOG7h9Izywa
「可以⋯不要嗎？」
「不行」
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjuWTwIycv
「⋯我怕痛⋯」
「⋯⋯要先從前面來嗎？」
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8UnCdaEw5
「⋯⋯嗯，拜託⋯」
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrYWsekc8u
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjViYYV3ZI
抽手，繞過身，徬如要抱住自己
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439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruXnLnW1w2
見他的手遲遲不動，意識到什麼的自己方才示意
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMPIPutGAX
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDuWGb0kTs
拉起裙子，他的手伸至自己下腹
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADlmo9wtX7
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAx1uyfKy9S
如記憶一樣強烈的感覺，身體因那股不只為痛楚之上的刺激稍為扭計抽搐，更可能因感覺過為久違而特別地格外，淚水溢出，我知道不可以動，但下盤，比較近的那處，完全就不聽命
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VVnlpyIWd
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLzyhzzISQ
「哈⋯醫生⋯呀⋯手⋯手⋯」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIoCvwJ4yHD
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv47rnG2Evp
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqhT8EuOUq
伸過來另一手，習慣性地抱住在臉前，口前，咬住439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxwlObX9vB
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeUsSDKw63
「唔⋯唔⋯咿！」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnolC2kLYS
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzZmCH6nKi
最後一記，最強烈
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53g9ARKNvk
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPRGEoNmla
「⋯哈啊⋯」
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyszE77HuyI
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstHC1S9eWl
鬆口，直至其手到胸口439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIenS5M1b0P
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIatK1bQ0a5
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xmXiWgPZ4
儘管此處沒有下面的刺激，但仍然⋯痛楚必居多，畢竟是心臓
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbhX5B5wLG
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4PRWO2xyE
放在前方，我閉上眼睛，任由感覺告訴自己而不想目睹
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfugV0NVX2q
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5cW7WbaWi
卻似乎⋯在自己預備好之前已經結束
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKS28UvOwa
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigYJgJWn9g
「⋯啊？」
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSDPfK8sep
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFVy3lLJZw
連咬也不用，只有半秒的電流感
「前面完成了」
男人如此說道439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtZxKrZ64E
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpYiNkg1xx
那麼接下來⋯
「那麼⋯」
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aiNglZZcB
「⋯⋯來吧⋯快點完事吧」
「好的——」
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3Izvyp0B9
「等、等等」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUa46oNq1g
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2Zcg3f05I
在他的手移至自己背時，我叫止
「⋯⋯」
「怎麼了？」
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCQqzvQgZi
「我調轉身體，趴著，您從後面來⋯⋯比較容易對吧？」
「你喜歡吧」
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1knwsxoekT
「⋯⋯嗯⋯」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKznk0mEXXl
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTYIwqdmZ9k
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIc08HBIMpc
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevKEtqUg5S
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3iabzhz8k
完全將裙子脫下，連最後一塊布料也脫下，掛在一旁，接著倒轉，趴在沙發上439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZPaK0dwjN
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtc6lCjGJ1u
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25jo2yuxDm
沒有什麼停頓的時間，在感覺到之際，我閉上眼睛
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHgRDPATjr
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlicISaAkhT
好痛
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BCjkCBc4d
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSeynz9t8N
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSi6kASzKNS
但會有人在意嗎？
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fg15b12h7
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9P0OAdQcr
他會、她會，但我不想使任何人擔心
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Cm1q6vr09
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5Unz0o05X
始終倒頭來，人家我根本不會怎樣和人相處，完全不出奇，毫無意外，畢竟沒有人教導過我，也沒有這個機會，本來與人相處，我也沒有那個需要，但另一個需求，更不想去實踐
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4BBSyX0bm
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3D0lhstODh
無數次因能力不足的錯敗，完全是拖延別人進度的我在之前找不到自己的位置，現在也不能，即使以自己的能力而言，是會完全勝任
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygObLg3AHs
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBobwJxRur
單單經驗，和他一起高居其上，但致命的是臨場發揮，我不能439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSlYupNpW2
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrsPz7GQBY
長期的壓力與否認積累下來，成為了自己那無形的牆，困住自己，我⋯⋯439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVnHIo9t1P
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLByrYX81jL
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvMbinh2Vl2
永生而來也是所謂「理性」的囚奴
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzIfIprNsi
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmIsVEgUBL
名為「理性」的魔物是我腦內的聲音，也是各種困難的化身，我無從逃離，因為它無處不在439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ozXvhPWbT
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzszUwUiO9c
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5oO6fqsQ8
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGQeXDYMOL
每日侵喰自己的精神，我口中的疲累，永遠會是先指精神疲累，做事，任何一件也是，它亦會阻止我，更不止一次而是無限多次
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZXMDPd0GJ
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAanqty7mAK
控制我的動作，以自己的精神和動力為糧，在開始點絆倒自己，途中不斷勸退自己的努力，在受傷時再插自己一刀，在面對困難時成為負擔，以及那些不斷催促自己前進的壓力，成為自己真正到不了那去的最主要原因439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfHtfAumdp
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8rENU3Hk6
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStJOsw0VaF
比較下，條件不由自己定
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGz4NrLUd8O
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1vPxiw7BM
我沒有選擇權439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡni4ZXfBrPM
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAQcWfeUZs
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyv3N4daLN4
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPccFCYVgQk
就連思考時，亦會來作崇，煽動自己做出愚蠢之動，決定時一二不是，我失去了選擇，見步行步什麼的，對我而言只是屈服439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4qfjdk4Dh
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLO1ySqQViX
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IH3fwn5mc
明白嗎？439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWwNHtuaOu
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA61BVziQGe
我不是不想努力，而是我所有事的起跑線都比別人遠、艱苦，無法正常地思考的痛苦，總是被他人卑視又白眼，我在努力，他們看到嗎？可以讓我努力嗎？439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5V7yvwJIX
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhoONZqAfNc
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kcRCcmRdo
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoDDzhEwrP
若世界更溫柔的話——
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439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtG29O4BYI
不可能439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRoNEPhuKS
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPN2XXrihKa
故然，我的作用⋯也沒有所謂的意義439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rRkWzrmRa
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYzvgHBYuG
什麼也沒有439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfw2SA9GFU
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5tqHuShaT
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOA1cnRslAE
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIKHRDbDCh
在邊緣望向彼方，死亡那，我想過去嗎？439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Z31FvfIjP
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqekIwCF3V
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8Clzluoy4
當然439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRw7wtsEkt
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14DK5fbULh
絕對
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Q6Keytk4U
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOq50SkG3c
不想439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqu8Upz2pOB
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nP9d1fvSH
但始終，真的太辛苦了439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp64ErhDhZ6
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXci694YDvv
⋯⋯439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcG5k3GmWg
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思考真的太辛苦了439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChnizDYi4U
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJCbeWdAOx
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNZjWPP17M
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROPkIblvfI
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJSN6mPcpv
「好了，怎樣了？痛嗎？」
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0ST6Z6qy1
「呀⋯⋯還可以⋯啊⋯」
「嘛，好像新的藥劑太強了」
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEDUMtV9tK
「不⋯不這樣⋯我真的會休克⋯」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEcEan37dt
「給人家條毛巾可以嗎？」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYdS6kdZ8D
「⋯⋯還有⋯抱歉⋯⋯」
「沒關係，我待會清潔」
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmA4B8ZHfb
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2Unq2EAXG
「⋯⋯對不起」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jjPiT3pk3
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIsVnQyyFz
「那麼⋯先來聽一下結果吧」
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpG3wXn1fPC
「嗯⋯」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurZZVVisjI
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPaKq0YMQRQ
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlX5m0ZMteX
「你已經有四成崎品變異融合了」
「骨髓、荷爾蒙、肌肉組織也完全適應了」
「看來，你的身體已經預備好了」
「嗯」
「在不久的將來」
「為新人類的未來祈福，紅雲感激你的犧牲」
曾經，我也有夢想
我希望使他人微笑、快樂
幸福
儘管我不曾能理解
但現實拒絕了我
正在自己徘徊崩潰之際，他們找到了我
說服我成為他們的工具
「忠誠致赤雨之日」
既然已是理性的囚犯，那麼就不自由下去吧，粉碎心靈也好
反正⋯⋯
人家我早已不在意
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最強大的力量，為信念
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439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCqeKemjNz
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIlQ5UDXbE
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ038OQn9y0
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0GsMAfXcO
「忠誠致赤雨之日」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ifG6ljcDa
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6SCiJENSB
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkLDVfITzx
女孩說道
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToarRsiMgw
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JEMACMVXi
旁周的範圍漸漸陰暗，連光源 —— 燈管，周圍也暗淡
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqp7bUOK7B
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnajRLM8b9
但不是燈光的點滅，反倒是影子的逆襲
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGvv1cwiwW
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sC8G4YMwN
是女孩的指示439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWbY70BpVg
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT40il02NYH
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDBCx0L8fT
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyitvuoSzEn
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaU20eAADFB
從其身體散出，影子隨之散至每一個角落，讓漆黑侵佔光明
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYbfejvvxz
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjmzLGlYFj
伸手不見五指，女孩逐漸消失在眼前
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAjRWh1EQU
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQk4jfka7db
直至最後能看見的——439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6RYcfx8J0
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfgLqZ373E
也不存在
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMK2yOLhibG
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYuKm0Q3pq
唯好像隱弱聽到了什麼439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8BbqHT6fc
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytGCgpnT28
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHYUXlrxdb
但無法辨認439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgGuzWj4wY
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5A70QzRr8t
或是記住至可以重組一個句子
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWruM8hTKJz
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6LhPcgthn
黑暗將自己包圍439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxfnm1KpsW
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6w3bPtJak
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHcH1X3N6K
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveUs1bY1d6
不知多久了439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjygeykxp9
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9CTB1MD19
在那時開始439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6BGwqTQI7
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWzCNNtezgV
那裏439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjogDCNklH9
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvkcvCh5UuD
但有些事情〇〇
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWQB2dsmbY
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ119knUbMAv
〇〇〇439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RWec7n4kE
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7X8WxuCYK
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUMTIYdo3a
〇〇〇〇〇〇439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7OzhgVzUl
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39tXF5WwTA
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyXc0ev3QS
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOc6xAgakl
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iAGvzo5Im
現在不是你的回合439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4X11KDbZWE
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmniILYNbe
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJoZRUan4u
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