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第二章 —— 粉碎心靈而行
EP 1
知性逆襲
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是否忘記了初衷442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ500s083kU7
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有一件事，她從來不理解，照其個性，那怕重來也不明白，為什麼、如何、怎樣地，質疑事實，儘管已經繞之而轉一輩子了，每一角落、真相的碎片亦熟知442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2ELl0BgYX
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還沒有學會「接受」442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBv9RchDF2x
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接受現實442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3iveJxBLz1
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因為認為是屈服442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0DrrS48AU
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感覺好像自己在投降442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNaIYV7lAxM
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放棄一切442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWE8D1zjvg
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追求完美至上，而不允許錯442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITt7kluofV
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如其之出生，尤像生活，所聽、知，授教的442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVzBUhNWaB
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認為是這樣子的狂妄442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPMSoBp8mB
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無他442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXONm290rO
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說是愚痴也不過份442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9p5dMGBXXg
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只是她不相信442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH720r17Zh4
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懷疑442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKx3CWQPXC8
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她⋯⋯442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNVliJIRAQe
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「⋯⋯」442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTWTSHobPU
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由一開始，女孩的這種個性就已經總結了此下場，這並不為因果關係，純粹因這個下場的發生堪於必然，而是狀況的現象化，星星的模樣，是因為太遙遠才是唯美而存，近看，以生命來燃燒的想法，無比嚇人442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCnFBQXCjm
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單單是想像也有夠不安442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQpVxzEbWs
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儘管此刻的自己也如看鏡面一樣，對此狀況不只是目擊證人，近是案內者，經歷者442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZcpDZgUza
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但若論為什麼會對其驚訝442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSG5kapJ0V
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唯一句442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlzj4KseQu
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當局者迷，旁觀者清442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1ZQyjI10q
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當初，我也不曾察覺其他的事情，只為信仰而活的自己，追求理想的結局，拋棄所有的我442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG07mlAfQsh
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根本不在意自己的身體點燃上星似熊烈442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnwSXhST22
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想法，是會傳染、變異、影響、控制442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1hMk5Uwwj
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且不死，無法殺死442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOU0ihkLlJR
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——————442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQ9kGVOVQP
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人家已經很盡力了442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpatPqim56
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我一直嘗試在抵抗這份感情442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqkMqXxk6T
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憤怒442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR82jRB1ZPf
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一直以來無論多麼努力亦不能有什麼結果442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9E0aFTJ6i
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因為我沒有用442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNpE2TZ7Go
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因為我的能力不足
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—— 咯 ——
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輕輕地扭開門把，金屬的把條縮回門鎖之中，角度的漸大，門的打開，男人就在該處站著442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx98WTPyENC
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「是的，陳熒羽⋯對嗎？」442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6WFUocSlJ
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「嗯⋯嗯⋯⋯打擾了」442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pdhDGqCcY
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進入到久違的房間，和記憶同模印的擺設佈局，主色調為米色，副色白442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpGTnK3g43
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—— 咔 ——
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關上門，房間消音的性質方真正開始，完全隔絕外在，此處的所有聲音仍會遭吞蝕，留在這裏，只有這裏，才將自己從這個世界中抽離442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxQpb5EulF
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沒有吵鬧聲
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餘下的，是自己腦內的聲音442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUD2u4E1gxY
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與其說是喜歡，說是比較、偏好才對，始終腦內的聲音，一直停不下來442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGIah1RqUkC
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討厭
討厭
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「唔⋯⋯對不起⋯上次臨急改期⋯」
「不，沒關係」
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男人走向沙發，攤開掌心，以手勢示意
「來，請坐」
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對他點頭道謝後，我往位置坐下來
「那麼⋯最近睡得還可以嗎？」
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「唔⋯嗯⋯還可以⋯⋯」442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNruITeqNw
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深呼吸，讓血管稍微收壓、放鬆，使心跳稍為緩下442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tnpxT3Vuv
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舔了舔下唇，我才繼續
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「⋯最近⋯夜驚的情況⋯有改善到」
「但還是有嗎？」
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「嗯⋯」
胸口的壓力感在說完話後消退，弄得自己好像成就了什麼大事般
「⋯這樣喔⋯沒關係，不用勉強，放鬆就可以了」
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「嗯」442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbNY37YzHd
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⋯⋯
那對眼睛
⋯
不要一直看過來⋯⋯
不要⋯不要——
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已經無法呼吸了多久？442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwxN1qqfX5
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太久了，不過至從學懂存在，便已經失去了呼吸的權利，「自由」一字的概念遙遠得不但不能觸及，甚至連想像的機會也沒有，提心吊膽地呼吸，屏住心跳，一輩子活在的地方 —— 恐懼而不和平的暗影之中442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuXcXTh6jC
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已經失眠了多久？442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQbSwHsymU
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失眠不是問題，而是衍生出來的結果，閉上眼睛仍然無法逃離，知道張開眼睛所面對的未來，毫不期待，害怕未來，受到過去而滿身傷痕，無論如何也得不到明天，好想好想那裏也不去，不前進不回去，待在原處，寧願原地踏步，寧願當個別人口中的笨蛋，討厭改變，卻442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uGEFtrtdC
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卻⋯卻⋯⋯442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofUW1nb7MP
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一點不想繼續這樣承受下去，而終究還是困在如此循環中，沒有所謂「時間」的存在，昨天即是今天，明天也去不了那去，等候自己的未來，只是幻覺442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAvI51lt7d
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還是說，世事可以和大家口中一樣嗎？
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由開始，已經不像任何人的前提，是可以怎叫自己活得正常，我不能、不會、不懂，現在不會，將來也是，儘管我是對這強烈不滿442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedb96AzT7l
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但我有選擇嗎？面對種種，難道有其他方法嗎？
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每天晚上也這樣想著，徹夜未眠，哭過無數次，甚至麻木，到淚水不自覺流在臉上，同樣的床，同樣的夜空，左右被冷意包圍，呆呆無意墮入腦內442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZUkOzDAKZ
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好想，一覺不醒
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即使每一次的夢也不完美，我知道自己的夢有多麼壓迫，難受苦人又使人瘋狂，但好歹是夢，醒來之後便能脫離，不似得這個現實，所在所有的破生活，根本忘不了，尤其這份痛苦，以夜以日頻頻萌生新的根，扎在過迫的心靈中442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0mhWvQfIM
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恨不得粉碎了之，那怕會死
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死一死也蠻好嘛
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結束就好了
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—— 別開玩笑了
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人家也希望能夠快樂442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAOLOFQtKd
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可是從來沒有，是完全沒有一個這樣的機會442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qyr5nKsFH
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也希望被愛
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也希望被認同
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⋯⋯442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkxEPQj1KN
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我不知足？
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⋯⋯442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNdPZkdvm1
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這世界一開始也沒有給到我們些什麼，「足夠」也是自己所定義的不是嗎？沒錯吧？！442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxBPBGWVqm
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——呀？
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嗯？442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RdPdflYVQ
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又是這樣
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難得我想表達自己，鼓起勇氣，想成為別人所希望的模樣，總是在自己嘗試前攔下自己，阻擋自己到前方去，但明明是同一班人叫人家去相信，要怎樣怎樣努力，結果又只是說說而已442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9SRsBe0aIK
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9wbVqRSRb
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZbJOIIO4u
我是笨了一點，呆了一點，像個白痴，直接當成傻仔也不過份，然而⋯⋯然而⋯我⋯442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvjA0yq68t
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442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9b5SBqasU
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAMr6Vd9kU
我也想活下去
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442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPfXfcHIsc
但一而再，再而三，真正阻止我從現況中掙扎出來的，是同一人，給予假希望，當自己不足為提，尤如走狗又好，簡直為玩具，喜歡便拿來玩，不喜歡便拿出來踐踏好一番，然後沒了興趣時，就隨手一丟，棄之不理
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Fx6jGelEW
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDk6hnReNt
莫名其妙，但真的好痛，我嘗試將心比己，下場居然是遭隨意玩弄然後棄之，我躲起來哭時又在安慰我，這是什麼？
這是什麼？
我寧願自己一人好了
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljH7hlrdOP
一直以來，我的人生，完全是自力更生，因為沒有那個誰，能真正幫助到我442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0XtB7QdRa
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSjtTFpmCU
或是說，我不希望⋯442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnGamvOrg7
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjo7LU6fan
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVkt06DHbq
⋯⋯442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBiBFsJCW3
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡilyMKSAf0T
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35FVzBIfHt
對不起442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ttJzQGZTu
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOjf5usPCe
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEaSZd8tLwf
我也希望自己⋯442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvmAC6XRdd
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27OBsYNwel
不過⋯⋯
「⋯那麼好了⋯今天就先這樣吧」
「剛剛斷藥一星期，狀況已經是有很大改善了」
「所以你真的不用那麼勉強自己」
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「唔⋯⋯」
「既然完成了⋯那麼⋯」
男人深呼氣，站起，走近自己
「我們還有些時間」
「嗯⋯」
緊張，我吞口水下騷燥的喉嚨
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTVrNwx1gc
男人他站在自己後面，就在沙發椅子後面，伸手按下椅旁的按鈕，讓椅背調低，另一手則是在輕輕地撥弄自己的額髮，角度之下，我能直視之俯視的顏容442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlycG9CO64t
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhrwKW101C
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442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPiYd5ti5x2
角度最大，椅背的最低，躺在沙發上的自己在剛才過度集中精神，現時便持續精神疲勞狀態，稍有腦昏，意識模糊，但仍然，我知道接下來的發展
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442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgeQX4pqx8
對此，心跳開始不受控制，我的呼氣聲明顯大了
「剛剛在外面的是？」
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcViqMNbAyM
「⋯哥哥」
「不再是家人以外的嗎？」
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeveYpPc6eB
「⋯⋯嗯」442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZeDbeu6uf2
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBeChrFgyUj
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLAGKJoN4L7
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QZEWRNQZz
男人緩緩地往自己校服裙領，衣領，膀子那邊伸手，溫柔，但快速地解開鈕扣，使頸前空間寛鬆些許
「哥哥⋯⋯會討厭哥哥嗎？平常」
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlDQKa2a0b
「很少⋯」
「真的？要説真話喔」
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「⋯⋯」442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlX7JJXfwJS
「真的」442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4ZrJxvKYO
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJscx5KYWee
反手，迅速地拉下了背後的拉鍊
「這樣嗎？」
—— 『反正會變成怎樣，我也不在意了』 ——
托著肩，使自己稍為露出背給對方看
「⋯哎⋯不行喔⋯沒穿嗎？」
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLdTzJTjwt
「今天趕著出門口便⋯」
「不行呢⋯你可要注意一下自己的身份喔」
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoE6EPWXmz
「對不起——呀⋯」
「是我的手冷嗎？」
「還可以嘛？」
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5E1Bt3PMO
「沒事⋯只是有點緊張⋯⋯」
「也不是第一次了呢，放鬆吧」
「我會盡快的」
除下上面的部份，完全露出後背來
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTc6O7qvpLv
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhogfFbe47
沒有直接看，觸感因而格外特出
「不看過來嗎？」
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtY4oarYkUT
「⋯⋯不用了⋯」
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2iwCN6Ua35
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6m7LRAOKd
世界內完全隔絕其中的空間，我的呼吸才叫無比格外突出的存在
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy51tGwRjUi
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFJ3EwaEFR
冰冷的手撫在這副體溫比常人高個1-2攝氏(C)度，對比之下任何東西才更為清晰，尤其一對一之下，我方才明白自己的真正
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1z8ypA2jpk
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57ALjJ2Wg6
從背縫伸入裙中，撫著背脊，繼續下去
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3mumGJdI8
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgyS8fYqyez
往那兒去
「啊，醫生⋯那、那個⋯」
突然地動了動，使男人的動作暫停了半頓442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTii3VEamo
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gR0UhI5HI
「可以⋯不要嗎？」
「不行」
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPy07fOxJA
「⋯我怕痛⋯」
「⋯⋯要先從前面來嗎？」
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOFSoEv88K
「⋯⋯嗯，拜託⋯」
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCiqfcc8HLk
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbScYbT6sWA
抽手，繞過身，徬如要抱住自己
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442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBSd2L5lR0
見他的手遲遲不動，意識到什麼的自己方才示意
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442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJMkBUfUA6
拉起裙子，他的手伸至自己下腹
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442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKy2NgNNk2
如記憶一樣強烈的感覺，身體因那股不只為痛楚之上的刺激稍為扭計抽搐，更可能因感覺過為久違而特別地格外，淚水溢出，我知道不可以動，但下盤，比較近的那處，完全就不聽命
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8glQctuQtU
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oosVCjb4a
「哈⋯醫生⋯呀⋯手⋯手⋯」442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXMIrnR7WkS
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5aE5733EN
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FibQDCfUP
伸過來另一手，習慣性地抱住在臉前，口前，咬住442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzCFsgN2ne
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrUwreVHAp
「唔⋯唔⋯咿！」442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNaPoZ5Kqh
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tysLz4GxF
最後一記，最強烈
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442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrugCjhoI15
「⋯哈啊⋯」
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUp5qwJWZjE
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbcQw3bTyW
鬆口，直至其手到胸口442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFSsvVF5qy
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30HtWyrz84
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPiNuXCEUlX
儘管此處沒有下面的刺激，但仍然⋯痛楚必居多，畢竟是心臓
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442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmbP2HFF5Q
放在前方，我閉上眼睛，任由感覺告訴自己而不想目睹
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442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNTKT5mGqe
卻似乎⋯在自己預備好之前已經結束
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442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3syqBySdQq
「⋯啊？」
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442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4D9n3Mt7i
連咬也不用，只有半秒的電流感
「前面完成了」
男人如此說道442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1Bpa3DOCx
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsP2cDEooD
那麼接下來⋯
「那麼⋯」
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELIYDmrl35
「⋯⋯來吧⋯快點完事吧」
「好的——」
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「等、等等」442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8RwHQMPNZ
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKG7yl1tovI
在他的手移至自己背時，我叫止
「⋯⋯」
「怎麼了？」
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfaMrn156r
「我調轉身體，趴著，您從後面來⋯⋯比較容易對吧？」
「你喜歡吧」
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqfJVnR5qN
「⋯⋯嗯⋯」442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkcAFlQTPV
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIY87GRLdl
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3qCCV78jx
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Dw0P1NHXD
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyK0UOWSdn
完全將裙子脫下，連最後一塊布料也脫下，掛在一旁，接著倒轉，趴在沙發上442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvyHhqxtph
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnbyogWMUh
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUlPlJIBnx
沒有什麼停頓的時間，在感覺到之際，我閉上眼睛
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442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL39q8Thf1P
好痛
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442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTFok9a1Jd
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但會有人在意嗎？
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442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡddFmiTdGuH
他會、她會，但我不想使任何人擔心
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2zV2mOOfZ
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRek0vTKTSl
始終倒頭來，人家我根本不會怎樣和人相處，完全不出奇，毫無意外，畢竟沒有人教導過我，也沒有這個機會，本來與人相處，我也沒有那個需要，但另一個需求，更不想去實踐
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVFYhe4vXv
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKkhuohbOL
無數次因能力不足的錯敗，完全是拖延別人進度的我在之前找不到自己的位置，現在也不能，即使以自己的能力而言，是會完全勝任
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442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ115tg4y0F7
單單經驗，和他一起高居其上，但致命的是臨場發揮，我不能442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNlKYuUrp3
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNUfXkS6WB
長期的壓力與否認積累下來，成為了自己那無形的牆，困住自己，我⋯⋯442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYeN7d0Uzt
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlGsXVKdW0
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBPTBEFCMK
永生而來也是所謂「理性」的囚奴
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJl7nBMrOl
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKXmb39ae0
名為「理性」的魔物是我腦內的聲音，也是各種困難的化身，我無從逃離，因為它無處不在442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGviKjqrEo
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVkdJewfqU
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQtVTHTYli
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aI2SZ0GHD
每日侵喰自己的精神，我口中的疲累，永遠會是先指精神疲累，做事，任何一件也是，它亦會阻止我，更不止一次而是無限多次
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCTO5l2zMA
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbiKW1KGiWT
控制我的動作，以自己的精神和動力為糧，在開始點絆倒自己，途中不斷勸退自己的努力，在受傷時再插自己一刀，在面對困難時成為負擔，以及那些不斷催促自己前進的壓力，成為自己真正到不了那去的最主要原因442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUsmNb69fm
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5p6PzrsR2Q
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡReXqZm5j6s
比較下，條件不由自己定
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442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmvdCwp76i
我沒有選擇權442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNk5x5WZSB
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442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpSNuIJaLr
就連思考時，亦會來作崇，煽動自己做出愚蠢之動，決定時一二不是，我失去了選擇，見步行步什麼的，對我而言只是屈服442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdhWUEHM7x
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26aRTAxhoz
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明白嗎？442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTCvpSHE86
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1q1JU4S08
我不是不想努力，而是我所有事的起跑線都比別人遠、艱苦，無法正常地思考的痛苦，總是被他人卑視又白眼，我在努力，他們看到嗎？可以讓我努力嗎？442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fR1LdwJb9
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1eSxcmelV5
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442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGopAotBIY
若世界更溫柔的話——
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不可能442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4QBEng8LR
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSdIzAh72Q
故然，我的作用⋯也沒有所謂的意義442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8YkQT9rPxD
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08gtBxxMa9
什麼也沒有442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1ZW1dxjBf
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在邊緣望向彼方，死亡那，我想過去嗎？442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMB1NfcDAKm
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當然442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOzYFAlPyB
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絕對
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不想442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpjnJMzMOW
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtEdUPAA4E
但始終，真的太辛苦了442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIG9yIzXiTL
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⋯⋯442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8Cv5OI7Za
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思考真的太辛苦了442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMlu4QxPPA
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442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtssnrnfTlr
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「好了，怎樣了？痛嗎？」
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttut4CXsRv
「呀⋯⋯還可以⋯啊⋯」
「嘛，好像新的藥劑太強了」
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6bgS1RvXU
「不⋯不這樣⋯我真的會休克⋯」442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeynfbeFVHe
「給人家條毛巾可以嗎？」442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IwfAqpqUp
「⋯⋯還有⋯抱歉⋯⋯」
「沒關係，我待會清潔」
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIgtmyglWh
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4U26MtkmIg
「⋯⋯對不起」442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEjKOAlMS9
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8OESlMwupL
「那麼⋯先來聽一下結果吧」
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidbCBc0avj
「嗯⋯」442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqT9AeVfl2r
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3XSGkr9yvM
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfN6p58NrNP
「你已經有四成崎品變異融合了」
「骨髓、荷爾蒙、肌肉組織也完全適應了」
「看來，你的身體已經預備好了」
「嗯」
「在不久的將來」
「為新人類的未來祈福，紅雲感激你的犧牲」
曾經，我也有夢想
我希望使他人微笑、快樂
幸福
儘管我不曾能理解
但現實拒絕了我
正在自己徘徊崩潰之際，他們找到了我
說服我成為他們的工具
「忠誠致赤雨之日」
既然已是理性的囚犯，那麼就不自由下去吧，粉碎心靈也好
反正⋯⋯
人家我早已不在意
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最強大的力量，為信念
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442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2xz1zTUhZ
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm31w2eDqB0
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcAbZHWT5q
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXcGwRFdFZ
「忠誠致赤雨之日」442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1KetfKY2s
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzgVwvl1kg
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCF8GJZgC9L
女孩說道
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNfQMplFmW
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNBpXu6B6g
旁周的範圍漸漸陰暗，連光源 —— 燈管，周圍也暗淡
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJXATDDHH7
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFkgIQkrte
但不是燈光的點滅，反倒是影子的逆襲
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSZg1obC9l
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2wl9b1i6U
是女孩的指示442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjOhKrixLY
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyzEDseRE4
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCAMSAO7yT
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50NRm4p6Rr
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCss7PgSZx
從其身體散出，影子隨之散至每一個角落，讓漆黑侵佔光明
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzC1SfEIyZx
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYGSxULT9C
伸手不見五指，女孩逐漸消失在眼前
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBuL1M9UUk
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3HRrhpzds
直至最後能看見的——442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDFMBlita8
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc35EaouFly
也不存在
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMO2bhmPU3
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKlsHCOED1
唯好像隱弱聽到了什麼442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbfzeFIIcP
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtJGAxPl9Z
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ976p8G1nS4
但無法辨認442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIEwzc6shyd
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjujKwFTDxb
或是記住至可以重組一個句子
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2S5p1b9qH
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQHB8hKmHg
黑暗將自己包圍442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13AnJ8C3md
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SM1RgDp0y
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAT9RxUUCa
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRZpLi9eRg
不知多久了442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcheuywqGX
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtOK6k75Yf
在那時開始442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefTrcfZkHa
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lQDCEMiz0
那裏442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEaLaVWnykC
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0T2kmGi0J
但有些事情〇〇
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClggKUq4Ap
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5mGkrEsRs
〇〇〇442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4DGk1IXwa
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0wGTqmeT3
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCskE7TLhsU
〇〇〇〇〇〇442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXBnQ3pACn
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj800lT33zS
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Ad1SV3dif
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKSvfmiAtOL
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzhR3Z2ryk
現在不是你的回合442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNYPQmPWEa
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9t2drOwPKA
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLYdx4Bh6WA
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